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The world has been very critical of Larry Birkhead's apparent exploitation of his daughter, Dannielynn, accusing him of Anna Nicole Smith's life and death for goodwill. And, of course, for cash.
But we've seen less of him, lately. The last time he was really on our radar was, what, when he went on Hollywood Medium?
Now he and Dannielynn — who is now 11 years old — are back in a video (below) showing their adventures together as Anna Nicole's daughter visits the land of her birth: The Bahamas.
Anna Nicole Smith was a sweet woman who died too young.
After an epic battle in which multiple men claimed paternity of her infant daughter, it was determined that Larry had fathered Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead.
Larry hasn't always been viewed as the best father. Notably, he signed Dannielynn up for modeling when she was six years old.
(In case you've forgotten, Anna Nicole herself was a troubled ex-model, and it's widely believed that she'd still be alive today if she hadn't been thrust into the spotlight as she was)
Dannielynn is 11 years old, now. (Anybody else feeling super old?)
And Larry Birkhead decided that it was high time that he take her on a trip to the Bahamas, where she was born. Whether he did it for Dannielynn or to get his face on camera again … well, that's hard to know.
But the video's very sweet.
In the video, Larry Birkhead does most (nearly all) of the talking to Us Weekly's cameras as he and Dannielynn explore the Bahamas.
"This trip back for Dannielynn is kind of special because she doesn’t really know a whole lot about the place where she was born."
That sounds like a plausible reason to go.
"When Dannielynn was little and I used to bring her here, the people used to come out screaming, ‘The people’s princess Dannielynn is here,’ cause it was such a big deal about her birth here, and they embrace her and they come up and ask for pictures and stuff all the time."
Well, it's not Dannielynn's fault that a rich white child getting called a "princess" within the Caribbean is … awkward. Also, a couple of women did ask for a selfie.
Larry talks about the wonderful things that Anna Nicole did with her wealth.
"She was charitable and she did a lot of things for people that people don’t know."
She was, by all accounts, a total sweetheart.
"I’m still getting these cards from kids that she supported overseas and they didn’t know she was Anna Nicole, but they’d come to have found out later."
That is precious.
He takes Dannielynn to a pastel pink courthouse. The very courthouse where he won his paternity case.
"I remember coming out of this door right here and they said, ‘You can take Dannielynn home to Kentucky or wherever you’re gonna move.’ And I came out, I was so happy."
Larry Birkhead tells the cameras about Dannielynn.
"She likes scary movies, like her mom. She likes to do roller coasters and fun things like her mom used to."
She also has a beautiful smile.
As for her current interests … they're very age-appropriate.
"Dannielynn is more interested in wanting to be a YouTuber and make her own videos, so those are the types of things that she’s interested in."
She's beautiful and young and famous, which describes a lot of YouTubers. (We don't imagine that she's a horrifying racist like certain YouTubers have turned out to be)
"I still have to warn her that, you know, your friend might have a YouTube account, but if you have a YouTube account that’s different, because people know who you are."
That is a somewhat clumsily worded version of very good advice.
Honestly, if and when Dannielynn gets her own YouTube channel (what a gift that would be), comments might need to be disabled. There are some real creeps who would love nothing more than to upset a famous tween girl.
Larry continues describe what it's like being Dannielynn's parent.
"Sometimes you feel like a bodyguard, sometimes you feel like a chauffeur."
That's, well, that's what parenting is like.
"It depends on what the day is. But my job is dad and I think I’ve done a pretty good job. She’s adjusted to it and she’s just a normal kid."
Dannielynn seems obsessed with her phone, which is relatable and age-appropriate.
Here's the video in its entirety:
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Ready to hear more details about the vicious hate crimes MTV has committed against Farrah Abraham?
Well, ready or not, Farrah has a story to tell and she won’t stop until she sees justice.
To recap, our girl here announced that MTV had fired her from Teen Mom OG about a month ago, after she began masturbating on livestreams on a cam girl site.
She was very angry about this, and that anger combined with whatever’s going on in that head of hers meant that her statements about the matter didn’t make much sense.
But the general idea is that Farrah believes it was unfair of MTV to fire her for what she does on her own time, when she’s not filming — especially because they didn’t even actually fire her.
She was given an ultimatum, and we saw that in the Teen Mom OG supertease that came out this week.
In a clip that will air later in the season, she’s told that if she continues working in the adult industry, then MTV would be unable to keep her on the show.
She’s said that this was just a tactic to create drama for the show, to manipulate her into giving good footage.
Or, well, she didn’t say that, because clear communication is very hard for her, but that’s what she was trying to say.
OK, so Farrah has been ranting on and off for the past month about how manipulative and hateful and awful MTV is, right?
And it seems like seeing that clip of her being “fake fired” this week really triggered her.
In a post she made on her social media accounts, Farrah wrote “Hate, sex shame, discriminate against a women & bully a women #viacom … then don’t admit your wrong.”
(Go ahead and settle in, because the rest of this mess makes just about as much sense as that opener.)
“#Justice will be served — Judgement day is going to hurt,” she continued.
“When you suck at real story lines you contrive hatred, lies, fake ultimatums a big fail to viacom & their dip sh-ts who are followers in this horrible behavior.”
And then it gets extra interesting because, after a “bitch better have my money” hashtag, she claimed that MTV owes her “a half season of money.”
Does that mean that she hasn’t been filming since the pretend firing? Or that she’s been refusing to film because of all the hate crimes?
It’s hard to say, but she did call MTV “the only company who can’t take what they dish out.”
“Let’s not forget you had to use this clip for the entire show to get press & attention THANK YOU FARRAH & A PUBLIC APOLOGY IS OVER DUE while I’m being mistreated along the way.”
That part is true — they definitely are using Farrah’s potential firing as a way to get interest in this season. Why wouldn’t they?
“Again maybe I’ve out grown narrow minded bad work ethics bad producing and I for damn sure don’t treat my employees like this or insult others successful entrepreneurs like this,” she added.
“Have fun making me out to be a villain when I have the cleanest record out of the entire case, crew & executives (sex,drugs,lies,manipulation…so much ADULT behavior)…”
She makes a good point, because it is pretty bizarre that masturbating on the internet is the line in the sand here.
On the Teen Mom franchise, we’ve seen hard drug use, domestic violence, animal neglect, child neglect … so many bad things.
Stars of the show have gone to actual prison and then get welcomed back with open arms.
It’s just strange that, even after they fired Farrah for her sex tape and then brought her back, the livestreams are supposed to a step too far.
Here’s hoping she gets what she deserves, whatever that may be.
The money for the other half of the new season of Teen Mom OG, an apology, a few English courses … just whatever she deserves, we sure do hope she gets it.