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Ben Affleck on Twitter: I Love My Fugly Tattoos!

It’s been a tough few months in the life of Ben Affleck.

Come to think of it, it’s been a tough couple years for Beantown Benny, but we’ll for brevity’s sake, we’ll stick to the more recent misfortunes.

The latest round of headaches that likely has been dejectedly vaping in a Dodge Charger somewhere has to do with Ben’s back tattoo.

Now, this is a saga that’s been going on for years, but only came to a head this past week, when some candid shirtless beach photos confirmed that Affleck lied about the tattoo being “fake for a movie.”

We may never know what possessed Ben to have a giant, colorful phoenix etched into his flesh, but it’s not hard to figure out why he decided to lie about it:

The tattoo is a big ugly mistake – not unlike the film Gigli – and Ben quite understandably wanted to cover it up.

Mistakes, we all make them – but that doesn’t mean we’re exampt from getting flamed on social media when we screw up.

And more followers means more haters, a lesson Ben is lerarning the hard way as trolls came out of the woodwork to rag on Ben’s horrendous ink.

To make matters worse, now those cronut-munching Niles Crane wannabes at The New Yorker are having a go at poor Ben.

In a piece published last week entitled – we sh-t you not – “The Great Sadness of Ben Affleck,” columnist Naomi Fry roasted the Batfleck within an inch of his life.

Was the article meant to be funny?

We think so, but it’s hard to tell with The New Yorker – a publication which remains stubbornly convinced that sketches of wild animals complaining about oaky chardonnay are the stuff of droll hilarity.

Fry critiqued the photos mercilessly, ragging on Ben’s “pooching” gut and the “blue-gray towel … wrapped protectively around his midsection—recalling a shy teen at the local pool.”

Yes, like her magazine’s famous cartoons, Fry’s piece won’t make you laugh, necesarily, but if you’re a certain type of smug, you may find yourself tempted to share it on Facebook as evidence of your wit and sophistication.

But hey, Ben’s able to laugh at himself, even when the jokes at his expense aren’t exactly Carlin-caliber.

Affleck has dealt with a lot of criticism over the years but it seems he couldn’t resist letting the dwwebs of the Upper East Side know that they’re rubber and he’s glue.

“@NewYorker I’m doing just fine. Thick skin bolstered by garish tattoos,” Affleck tweeted at the magazine today.

Ben knows you have to hit these nerds where it hurts – right in the vocabulary.

Very perspicacious of you, homey.

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Ben Affleck & Lindsay Shookus: Back Together After Low-Key Split?!

It’s been a rough few weeks for Ben Affleck, aka Batfleck, aka Beantown Benny, aka He of the Horrendous the Back Tatt That Looks Like Something From A Blacklight Poster in a Head Shop.

For one thing, the whole world has been roasting Affleck’s tattoo for the very good reason that it’s the ugliest sight anyone has laid eyes on since that time Trump went golfing in white shorts.

But there’s more here than just that just the hilarity that is the #PhoenixFail.

You see, Ben has been in Sad Affleck mode in a big way lately.

His melancholia has reached the point that even the tortoise shell-framed Vassar grads at The New Yorker were forced to take a break from writing captions for sketches of animals in therapists’ offices in order to pen a typically high-minded assessment of Ben’s mental state.

Yes, even the actor’s number one confidante Matt Damon has enjoyed ragging on Affleck in recent weeks, a development that’s almost certainly led Ben to text his friend something along the lines of “I don’t like them apples at all.”

Needless to say, these are trying times in the House of Affleck.

Fortunately, Ben has been able to find solace in the fact that he’s still rich and famous and thus, will always find someone willing to overlook his giant mythological back bird. 

Ben has been dating Lindsay Shookus for the better part of the past year, but it seems there was a brief hiatus in the relationship that began around the same time as Ben’s latest round of troubles.

However, according to People magazine, Affleck and Shookus are 100 percent back on these days.

The couple was spotted hanging out in Hawaii earlier this week, and witnesses say they looked very coupled-up.

They may have even engaged in a bit of canoodling.

Sources tell People that Ben and Lindsay are “not rushing anything,” but they “enjoy each others company” and “are in a committed relationship.”

Of course, the question on the mind of many Ben-watchers is – are Affleck and Shookus still drinking together?

Yes, even after Ben’s multiple stints in rehab, he and Lindsay were spotted hitting the sauce together during their travels.

Fortunately, it sounds as though Ben has put the plug in the jug for good these days, and he and Lindsay reportedly drank nothing stronger than coconut water during their time on the big island:

“He has been very on top of his health and responsible,” added the source.

“He wants to be sober and healthy.”

Sounds like Ben might finally be turning things around!

If only there were some sort of mythical creature whose story might provide a suitable analogy for Affleck’s current state of rebirth.

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Matt Damon to Ben Affleck: Your Tattoo is Ugly AF, Bruh

Back in 2015, the world first marveled at the hideousness that is Ben Affleck’s giant back tattoo.

Many breathed a deep sigh of relief when Affleck revealed that the tattoo is fake and that he covered a massive segment of his torso with a goofy-ass cartoon phoenix for the sake of a movie.

Sadly, we now know that Affleck was lying about the tattoo being airbrushed on.

Earlier this week, Ben put the horrendous ink on full display while filming a scene set on a beach.

Needless to say, he was roasted to a crisp by the internet’s finest sh-t talkers, both for getting the tattoo in the first place and for lying to the world about it.

But Ben’s got some loyal friends in his corner, people who would never turn their backs on him … possibly for fear that he’d be all, “You know what would look dope, dude? A fire-breathing dragon like slithering up your spine!”

Matt Damon has been Ben’s bestie since the bygone era when Harvey Weinstein was someone people actually wanted to work with.

Last night, Damon appeared on The Daily Show, where he sat down with Trevor Noah to answer the tough questions about #BensBack.

“It’s not one man’s job to tell another man what he can do to his back,” Matt said in a classic dodge.

“I support him in all of his artistic expression.”

Clearly, Damon has mastered the art of throwing shade without really throwing shade.

If he actually liked Ben’s ink even a little bit, Matt likely would have said so.

With his non-response Matt joins the ever-growing list of celebs who think Ben’s phoenix is the fugliest thing 

“You know what we would say in my hometown about that? ‘Bless his heart,’” said Affleck’s ex and noted shade queen, Jennifer Garner.

The other former Jen in Ben’s life was even more direct in her criticism, telling Andy Cohen:

“It’s awful! What are you doing?”

She added:

“His tattoos always have too many colors, they shouldn’t be so colorful. They should be cooler.”

At this point, Ben’s life is basically a party question game:

“Okay, so you’re a millionaire and you get to dress up as Batman. But, you’re covered in horrendous tattoos and your exes flame you  on TV every chance they get. Would you do it?”

It’s a question each of us must answer for himself.

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Ben Affleck Lied About His “Fake” Back Tattoo & Now He’s Getting Roasted on Twitter

Back in 2015, a photograph of Ben Affleck sporting a huge back tattoo made its way around the interwebs, and a good laugh was had by all.

Being the kind of guy who pretends he doesn’t care what anyone thinks but who actually lives for public adulation, Ben claimed the tattoo was fake.

He insisted the garish phoenix rising from the ashes was airbrushed on for a movie he was directing and starring in called Live By Night.

“[It’s] fake for a movie,” Affleck very explicitly stated in a 2016 interview.

“I actually do have a number of tattoos but I try to have them in places where you don’t have to do a lot of cover up they get sort of addictive, tattoos, after awhile.

Since no one actually saw the film, no one pieced together that Ben’s Prohibition-era gangster never actually disrobes to reveal a giant, brightly-colored, anachronistic tattoo.

Rumors about the big ugly ink persisted, but Ben made headlines for so much other bad behavior that fans never launched a full-blown investigation.

Remarkably, Ben has kept his torso pretty well covered over the past two and a half years, but that might have more to do with booze-bellied dad bod and less to do with hiding the big bird.

(Feel free to use that as a euphemism for sex, btw.)

Sadly, Beantown Benny slipped over the weekend when he removed his shirt for a beach scene in a movie he’s filming.

Hopefully, the Ben’s character is the type of guy who collects samurai swords and lost his virginity to a prostitute at 29, because this tatt is not the sort of thing that can be edited out in post-production.

Yes, we now know for sure that Ben was lying about the tattoo being a fake, and Twitter is having a field day.

“Don’t mock Ben Affleck’s phoenix tattoo. It symbolises how he has risen from the ashes, reborn as a guy with a tattoo that sucks,” tweeted Pixelated Boat.

“I’ve been following the Ben Affleck back tattoo drama more closely than the Mueller investigation,” quipped Sophia Benoit.

“Ben Affleck’s back tattoo is, and I’m saying this without hyperbole, one of the funniest goddamn things I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” Dashiell Driscoll opined.

All we need is Dril and DaShareZone to sound off on this thing, and all of Twitter will have had its say.

So how is Affleck reacting to ironically being roasted for a phoenix tattoo.

Well, thus far, he’s about the only one who hasn’t sounded off on it.

Even Ben’s ex Jennifer Garner flamed his ass, telling Ellen DeGeneres that she “take[s] unmbrage” at being represented as the ash from which Ben’s metaphorical phoenix arises.

Must suck to realize you spent a massive chunk of your life married to a guy who would not only get that fugly of a tattoo but would proceed to lie to the whole world about it.

Hmmm … we may have finally figured out what horrible revelation came to Garner at the Oscars.

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Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck: Inside Their “Second Chance” at Love!

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck announced their separation way back in 2015.

But that wasn’t the end of their tale.

Far from it, in fact.

As has been well documented on The Hollywood Gossip, the actress and the actor spent about two years trying to salvage their romance.

They remained dedicated parents to their three kids, continuing to go on vacations as a quintet and even continuing to live together, according to various outlets.

Alas, in April of 2017, Garner came to the unfortunate realization that this marriage could not be saved.

The credit card spokeswoman filed for divorce.

So… the relationship is finally dead, right?

Done? Over? Kaput?

Not to fast, Us Weekly writes.

As you can see at the outset of this post, the tabloid features Ben and Jen on its latest cover, along with the tease that they are “spending nights together” and considering a “SECOND CHANCE” at love.

Below this headline, there’s the allegation that Affleck is “still in love” with his ex-wife and Garner has (hilariously) only dates “Ben look-a-likes.”

The magazine then poses the question: Will they reunite… or finally move on?

Speaking of Garner, who has come across as the most understanding and mature person on Earth throughout this turbulent time, a source tells the publication:

“She put her heart and soul into fixing the relationship and wanted so desperately to turn things around for the children’s sake as well as theirs.

“She forgave him for so much, and still he couldn’t change.”

That does seem to be the case, as Garner took issue over the years with Affleck’s constant partying and drinking.

But what if that wasn’t his fault?

What if Affleck has an addiction and is seeking help for it?

Since the April divorce filing, Ben has “begged her to come back several times, but she has no interest,” says this same insider in this same cover story.

There appeared to maybe be a chance for reconciliation several months ago, Us Weekly alleges; back when Affleck was at a low point.

“When Ben was in rehab, Jennifer was there every day, visiting,” says the source. “They did family counseling to work on their relationship.”

Alas, due to “a number of reasons,” Affleck and Garner never found their way back into bed together.

And then Ben started seeing Lindsey Shookus, someone he’s been dating for a surprisingly long period of time now. 

“He loves and adores her,” says this insider. “This is a relationship he takes seriously.”

In other words, the above cover is pretty much a giant tease.

“Jen is ready to go with her feelings and give love another try,” says a friend, shooting down the idea that any “second chance” is on tap for the stars.

Overall, the tabloid report concludes that it’s “no exaggeration to say that Ben broke [Garner’s[ heart and left her in a terrible place emotionally.”

HOWEVER…

“It’s been almost three years since they called it quits. It’s time for her to move on.”

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Jennifer Garner Fights With Ben Affleck in Public, Debuts New Boyfriend!

Rare is the Hollywood actor whose personal life is more dramatic than the roles he plays onscreen.

In the case of Ben Affleck, the gap is so wide that we wish he’d put this Batman nonsense to rest and focus on producing a livestreaming, 24-hour, Truman Show-esque documentary about his day-to-day existence.

Last week, Ben was in a motorcycle accident while rushing to meet his family at church.

(If that doesn’t sound like a superhero origin story, we don’t know what does.)

Now, it seems Jennifer Garner is deeply concerned about her ex’s safety and has strongly encouraged her ex to put the bike on blocks.

And by “strongly encouraged,” we mean she went off on him in front of the other soccer moms.

Yes, it seems the exes were watching their 5-year-old son Samuel on the field when Jen flipped on Ben seemingly out of nowhere.

“She doesn’t want her kids to grow up without a dad,” one insider tells Radar Online.

“Jen believes he’s being incredibly childish and selfish,” the source adds.

“She believes he needs to start acting more like a dad and less like a kid.”

The source adds that the battle of Jen vs. Ben was a mostly one-sided affair.

“Jen emptied out on Ben, and he seemed to be on the offensive,” the onlooker claims.

“She only seemed to calm down when Samuel got close to them.”

It seems part of the reason Garner was so upset is the fact she simply doesn’t approve of Affleck’s relationship with Lindsay Shookus, the SNL producer whom he’s been dating for over a year.

“Jen’s fed up with Ben’s behavior – especially since they agreed to divorce,” one insider tells Radar.

“She doesn’t like Lindsay and says she’s a bad influence on him.”

There’s no word on why Jen doesn’t approve of Lindsay, but it’s not hard to guess.

After all, shortly after Affleck and Shookus were spotted drinking together, he checked into rehab for the third time in a year.

Apparently, Garner recently went so far as to issue an ultimatum:

“She told him to clean up his act or stay away from the kids,” says the source.

But just because Jen doesn’t approve of Ben’s new girlfriend, that doesn’t mean she’s not ready to move on herself.

Radar recently published photos of Jen on what apears to be a date with an unidentified mystery man.

No one seems to have any information on who Jen’s new love interest is, but she certainly seems to be into him!

So these days, Ben and Jen have both moved on with someone new … but it doesn’t seem like they’ll be easing up on one another anytime soon.

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Ben Affleck Crashes Motorcycle: Did Alcohol Play a Role?

Back in December, Ben Affleck checked into rehab for the third time in 12 months.

Everything the actor does is news, and reports that Affleck was drinking again following his previous stint in treatment were widely reported in the tabloid press and on social media.

But it now looks as though in the weeks before he checked back into rehab, Ben managed to bury an incident that may shed light on his decision to seek further treatment.

According to Radar Online, Affleck was involved in a frightening motorcycle crash sometime last month.

No other vehicles were involved, and though he was thrown from his bike, Affleck reportedly emerged from the incident unscathed.

The actor was reportedly on his way to church at the time, and there’s no indication that he was intoxicated when he lost control of the motorcycle.

Of course, that’s not stopping skeptical fans from pointing out that the accident occurred within days of Ben’s most recent stint in rehab.

“Ben’s still pushing himself to the limits after the bust-up of his marriage to Jennifer Garner,” a source tells Radar.

“And this time, friends are worried he’s pushing himself too far,” the insider adds.

While Affleck didn’t appear to suffer any major injuries, friends and family are reportedly concerned that the Oscar winner may suffer long-term damage from a blow to the head:

“His head took the brunt of the fall” a source confirms.

“He was wearing a helmet, but God knows what sort of damage he may have suffered.”

Ben reportedly refused medical treatment and left the scene abruptly, which many are taking as another indication that he may have had an elevated BAC at the time of the crash.

“You can usually spot injuries with an X-ray or CT scan within the first 24 hours of a serious trauma to the head or neck,” trauma expert Dr. Stuart Fischer tells Radar.

“But without this kind of testing, serious injuries can go undetected for weeks, or even months–and by then it may be too late.”

Again, it does not appear that legal authorities have any reason to suspect Ben of driving while intoxicated.

But given that he was believed to be on the wagon at the time of the crash and was on his way to meet his children at church, he may have feared that trace amounts of booze were still in his system from the night before.

The actor might have had reason to flee the scene even though there was no possibility of legal charges.

After all, the court of public opinion can be much less sympathetic than a criminal judge. 

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Ben Affleck & Lindsay Shookus: Already MARRIED?!

It’s been less than a year since we first learned that Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus are dating, but the couple has been moving at warp speed in recent months.

Affleck checked into rehab for the fourth time in December, and sources say he went straight from treatment to an apartment in New York that he now shares with Shookus.

Ben and Lindsay

And it seems moving in together isn’t the only major step forward the couple has taken in 2018.

Some insiders close to Ben and Lindsay say wedding bells are in the near future for the Oscar winner and the SNL producer.

Meanwhile, others claim they’ve already gotten hitched and are simply waiting for the right time to make the announcement.

Witnesses say Lindsay has been sporting some new bling on her left hand in recent weeks, but the jury’s still out as to whether it’s an engagement ring or a wedding band.

Whatever the case, it seems there’s no denying that Ben and Lindsay are head over heels for one another.

“He’s fallen hard,” an insider tells Life & Style.

“It’s no surprise that they’re now taking their relationship to the next level.”

There are conflicting accounts as to whether or not the knot has already been tied, but there’s no doubt these two are in it for the long haul.

“They both want to spend the rest of their lives together.”

“They can’t bear to be apart and spend every free moment they have together,”

One insider says the only thing holding the couple back is the fact that Ben’s divorce from Jennifer Garner is not yet finalized.

“It hasn’t been a straightforward procedure,” explains the source.

“They’ve spent months behind closed doors working out how to divide assets, finances and custody of their children.”

Yes, if there’s a downside to possessing tens of millions in assets (big if), it’s that having so much stuff makes a very complicated divorce.

“They are getting close to finalizing things. Once their divorces are both out of the way, Ben plans to walk down the aisle with Lindsay,” says one insider.

So it sounds like despite claims to the contrary, Ben and Lindsay are not yet married.

But it also sounds like they’ll be taking the plunge as soon as legally possible.

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