Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Stun the World, Announce Separation

Love is officially dead.

We are most definitely living in the darkest timeline.

Everything will believed to be right has turned out to be so very very wrong.

Yes, we said and thought all these things when Donald Trump was elected President.

But we’re now saying and thinking them because Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan have announced they are ending their marriage.

Yes, that Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan, the same couple who once said they have amazing primal sex and whose tribute to each other on the occasion of an anniversary in 2016 made us laugh and cry.

What the heck could have happened?!

We don’t know just yet.

But the actor and actress, who met on the set of iconic dance movie Step Up over a decade ago, released a joint statement on Monday night that reads as follows:

“Hey world! So… We have something we would like to share.

“First off, it feels odd that we have to share this kind of thing with everyone, but it’s a consequence of the lives we’ve chosen to lead, which we also happen to be deeply grateful for.

“We’re living in an incredible moment in time, but it’s also a time where truth can easily get distorted into ‘alternative facts.’

“So we want to share the truth so you know that if you didn’t read it here then it’s most certainly fiction.”

Indeed, this is undoubtedly the most cheerful break-up announcement in recent memory.

The Twitter message continues/concludes as follows:

We have lovingly chosen to separate as a couple. We fell deeply in love so many years ago and have had a magical journey together.

Absolutely nothing has changed about how much we love one another, but love is a beautiful adventure that is taking us on different paths for now.

There are no secrets nor salacious events at the root of our decision – just two best-friends realizing it’s time to take some space and help each other live the most joyous, fulfilled lives as possible.

We are still a family and will always be loving dedicated parents to Everly. We won’t be commenting beyond this, and we thank you all in advance for respecting our family’s privacy.

Sending lots of love to everyone.

channing state

Wow, right?!?!?

The stars are each 37 years old and share a daughter; she turns five in May.

They got married in 2009 and talk did start to circulate late last year that there may be trouble in attractive paradise after Dewan attended the American Music Awards solo.

But still.

Channing had previously scoffed at rumors of marital strife.

“It’s all bullsh-t,” Tatum previously The Hollywood Reporter, adding:

“These people just [make it up]. Some of our family members don’t see [it’s not true], and they read a stupid thing and don’t understand it’s a tabloid.”

Well, this time it is not a tabloid.

This time we have heard the news straight from Tatum’s gorgeous mouth itself.

We’re stunned. We’re shook. Our true love confidence level is at an all-time low.

At the very least, we’ll always have Anna Faris and Chris Pratt, right?

Wait…. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Back in February, Dewan did scoff at the notion that her relationship was totally perfect.

But she sounded very normal and grounded in explaining what the romance was like, telling Health magazine:

“I think there are such things as great fits. It is a great fit as long as you are growing together, and I think up until this point we’ve really grown together.

“Even if one starts to grow, the other catches up and vice versa. But I think a couple needs to be conscious and to want to do the work and be willing to look at the parts of you that need work.

“Both of us have been pretty aware and willing to do that. We’ve always had the same values. But we’re not perfect! Are you kidding?

“We fight like other couples, we disagree about things, we have days where we don’t really like each other.”

Oh well.

We wish each half of this former union nothing but the best.

We have a feeling neither will have trouble finding a new lover.


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Prince Harry & Meghan Markle to Announce Engagement THIS WEEK?!

If you follow the lives of the Royals closely, then you’ve probably been wondering for quite some time if Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are engaged.

Despite the fact that they’ve only been together about a year, reports of Harry putting a ring on it have been circulating non-stop in recent months.

And recently, the couple has been under greater scrutiny than ever thanks to a handful of clues that seem to indicate an engagement announcement is imminent.

First, there was Harry and Meghan’s trip to Africa.

Though the safari excursion was ostensibly part of Meghan’s birthday celebration, it was widely reported the real purpose of the two-week vacation was for Harry to pop the question in a romantic locale.

Even after Meghan returned from the trip noticeably ringless, engagement theorists were undeterred.

They speculated that since Royal engagements are such complex affairs, Harry and Meghan were simply holding off on making the announcement until after they received approval from the necessary parties.

When Meghan met the Queen earlier this month, many took it as a sign that she and Harry were seeking the monarch’s approval of their union.

So now that the entire royal hierarchy has supposedly signed off on the engagement, what’s the holdup?

Well, HarMar can’t just post a ring pic on Facebook like a couple of plebes.

They need to announce their engagement in an appropriately ceremonious setting.

And many believe the setting they’ve chosen is the Invictus Games, being held this week in Toronto.

It would be the perfect occasion to reveal their big news for a number of reasons:

For starters, Toronto is where Meghan films Suits, which means it’s served as her home-away-from home for the past several years.

The actress is American by birth, but it makes sense that Harry would prefer to make the announcement in a country that remains a part of the British Empire.

On top of that, the Invictus Games are near and dear to Harry’s heart, and the event has no more visible supporter.

Places and events that are of great emotional significance to Harry have played central roles in his romance with Meghan:

Harry went to Africa with his brother and father shortly after the death of his mother, and it’s widely believed that he proposed around the time of the twentieth anniversary of Princess Diana’s passing.

So it’s not hard to see why Royal obsessives believe a big announcement from Harry and Meghan is forthcoming.

Of course, Harry seems to enjoy being unpredictable, so really it’s anyone’s guess.