We’re just two months away from the wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry.
Obviously, at this stage in the game, the preparations have kicked into high gear, and we assume guys carrying scrolls and rocking powdered wigs are scurrying all over Buckingham Palace at this very moment.
But it’s not all boring stuff like creating A-list table arrangements and coordinating the traditional Beheading of the Exes.
A royal wedding is still a wedding, which means Meghan’s bridesmaids are in charge of planning a regal bachelorette party.
And it seems none other than the Duchess of Cambridge is in charge of stripper selection!
“Kate is determined to make it an unforgettable occasion,” a royal insider tells In Touch.
“There will be no expense spared. She wants Meghan to be reminiscing about it for years to come.”
Okay, so maybe there won’t be any Chippendale scepters flopping about, but that doesn’t mean the festivities won’t resemble your typical bachelorette party in other ways:
“Those close to Meghan are already betting that the queen will surprise Meghan with some sexy underthings” says the source, noting that other guests “will surprise Meghan with fun presents, including sexy Agent Provocateur lingerie and X-rated baked goods.”
Look, as much as we’d love to think the queen is gifting people with crotchless thongs and furry handcuffs just to see the looks on their faces, there’s no way in hell that’s actually happening.
We’ve seen The Crown, okay?
Prince Philip had to promise a small island to an Estonian ballerina if he wanted to get freaky.
That’s just the price of royalty, folks.
Anyway, there are parts of this report that we actually believe.
For example, despite the initial, inevitable reports of a Kate and Meghan feud, it seems the next generation of royal ladies are getting along famously.
“Kate has taken Meghan under her wing and is really looking out for her,” a source told Life & Style back in January.
“She’s advising her new BFF on how to deal with what lies ahead. They’ve become super close.”
Which is a very good thing.
It’s hard enough when someone you’re not crazy about marries into your family.
It’s far worse when you have to spend half the year traveling the world together with convincing smiles plastered on your faces.