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Amal Clooney: Will Someone Please Bang Jennifer Aniston?!

It’s been eight months since Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux filed for divorce, and in that time, there have been countless rumors about both parties’ romantic prospects.

As is often the case with this sort of thing, those reports have run the gamut from absurd to completely plausible.

Justin dating Emma Stone falls on the “plausible” end of the spectrum (especially since the actors star in a new Netflix series together).

Jen getting back with Brad Pitt?

Well, we probably don’t need to tell you that that one sounds a little too good to be true.

Anyway, just because she’s not knocking boots with her ex, that doesn’t mean Jen is lonely.

According to a new report from Life & Style, Jen has recruited none other than Amal Clooney to help her locate attractive young rich guys to keep her company while she decides her next move.

“Amal knows plenty of intelligent, sexy, successful men who would jump at the chance to date Jen and has been busy compiling a list of eligible bachelors,” a source tells the tabloid. 

“Jen’s ready to get back out there. She completely trusts Amal’s judgment.”

But from the sound of it, Jen is in no hurry to rush right back into a serious relationship:

“[She’s been] asking her girlfriends to set her up with someone in his 20s or 30s who won’t get too attached,” the insider adds.

“Jen’s sick and tired of being portrayed as the heartbroken one and thinks being spotted with a handsome new man on her arm could help set the record straight.”

And the source says Aniston has been quite clear with regard to what she’s looking for:

“Jen’s telling friends that she wants to date a younger guy. But she needs help. She wants her friends to set her up.”

We say go for it.

No one expects rich and famous men to settle down right away after they get divorced.

In fact, they’re encouraged to play the field for a while.

So while we very much doubt that Jen was waiting for our approval to go bang some 21-year-old male model, we hereby officially give her the thumbs-up.

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Two-Pump Trump: Stormy Daniels Says Prez Sucks in Bed, Wants to Bang Ivanka

As President of the United States, Donald Trump has a historically low job approval rating, having never once topped 50 percent.

According to adult film actress and frequent Trump foil Stormy Daniels, his performance in the sack also leaves a lot to be desired.

In an interview published Tuesday in Vogue, Daniels – who famously alleges a 2006 tryst with Trump – opens up about their encounter.

Well, what little there was of it, anyway.

“How many details can you really give about two minutes?” she says, asked by the magazine to describe boning Trump.

When the interviewer asked if it was really just two minutes, Daniels wasn’t sure, adding: “Maybe. I’m being generous.”

Damn. That’s gotta hurt, Donnie.

We suppose it’s not altogether shocking. Trump doesn’t spend much time working nowadays, prefering to watch TV and use Twitter.

Two minutes is an eternity for him to pay attention to anything, and living such a sad, lonely sedentary lifestyle can’t be good for virility.

In any case, the porn star – who is famously suing Trump and his lawyer Michael Cohen – has never shied away from calling him out.

Their affair, which allegedly took place after a celebrity golf tournament, and not long after he married Melania, was … boring, she says.

“It was textbook generic,” she said of the sexual experience. “It wasn’t like, ‘Oh my God, I love you.’ He wasn’t like Fabio or anything.”

Regarding Trump’s relationship with Melania, Daniels says that Trump told her not to worry about his life … well, that aspect of it.

One thing Trump loves to talk about is his hot daughter Ivanka, to whom he likened Stormy. That’s gotta be flattering … or creepy.

“He bragged about his daughter [Ivanka] quite a bit though. He was very proud of her, which is nice,” Stormy recalls.

“He told me once that I was someone to be reckoned with, someone beautiful and smart like his daughter,” Daniels added.

“I guess that’s a compliment.” 

This is a guy who mused about his other daughter Tiffany Trump’s boobs when she was an infant, so it’s something, alright.

Stormy claims that Trump was somewhat star-struck in meeting her, and even asked for an autograph after their encounter.

Dear Donnie, that was the least exciting 45 seconds of my life, but hey, it’s tough without a condom. Love, Stormy xo

The blowback from Trump’s affair with Daniels has lasted a hell of a lot longer than he does in bed, as evidenced by last week.

His former lawyer, Cohen, now admits paying off Daniels in the weeks before the 2016 election to keep quiet about the affair.

Saying that he did so at the direction of Trump, Cohen pleaded guilty to felony charges and faces several years behind bars.

Daniels took a victory lap, and with the help of her ubiquitous lawyer Michael Avenatti, we’re guessing it won’t be her last.

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Jim Parsons Pens Heartfelt Tribute to The Big Bang Theory

According to a handful of recent reports, Jim Parsons was the person who effectively canceled The Big Bang Theory.

The veteran actor was offered a chance to continue portraying the character of Sheldon, earning $ 1 million per episode while doing so, for two more seasons.

These reports stated that Parsons was simply ready to move on.

We can’t verify whether or not this is accurate, but we can say that Parsons clearly has a lot to say in the wake of CBS’ big announcement on Wednesday.

The network confirmed via press release that The Big Bang Theory will end after its upcoming 12th season, saying simply:

“We are forever grateful to our fans for their support of The Big Bang Theory during the past twelve seasons.

“We, along with the cast, writers and crew, are extremely appreciative of the show’s success and aim to deliver a final season, and series finale, that will bring The Big Bang Theory to an epic creative close.”

In response to this news… we are very sad.

But also in response to this news, Parsons has shared a photo of himself and his co-stars on Instagram, while penning a lengthy caption in relation to it.

parsons

It is hard (nearly impossible, actually) to really accept that this is a picture of the first of the final 24 episodes we will shoot for ‘The Big Bang Theory, wrote the four-time Emmy Award winner, adding in emotional detail:

I feel such intense gratitude for our devoted viewers who are the ACTUAL reason we have been graced with the opportunity to explore these characters for 12 years of our lives.

[The crew] are in many ways the real steady heartbeat that keeps this body of work alive and breathing while we, like flailing arms and legs, act like jackasses and fools in attempt to make someone laugh.

The writers are the ones coming up with organic, entertaining ways to keep the life of this show going which is a task much, much more challenging than anyone other than them will ever know or understand.

Parsons has anchored The Big Bang Theory since its premiere.

Unlike many other shows that have been on the air for so long, all original cast members have stuck around and will be there to wrap up the sitcom next May/

Parsons also thanked all the actors who have appeared on the series, for being “my playmates that I have fallen in love with and who have become part of my life on set and off.”

And this is how he concluded his message:

We look into each other’s eyes and say these words and end up creating this weird, other reality that has enriched my life more than I will fully ever understand.

I will miss all of you and all of this more than I can say and more than I can know at this time.

Parsons is the latest cast member to speak on The Big Bang Theory coming to an end.

Earlier this week, Kaley Cuoco shared her own heartbreak over the decision.

“This ride has been a dream come true,” she wrote on Instagram. “And as life changing as it gets.”

She continued:

“No matter when it was going to end. My heart would have always been broken in two… We promise to bring you the best season yet…

To the fans, our crew, families, Chuck Lorre, Warner Brothers, CBS, and everyone who has supported us for so many years: Thank you.”

Finally, Kunal Nayyar, who portrays Raj Koothrappali on the series, has said the following:

“As you may already know… and for those of you who don’t. This will officially be Big Bang Theory’s last season.

“After season 12 we will be the longest running multi camera sitcom in the history of television. There are no words in any language that can describe what my heart wants to say…

“The love that I feel for all of you is boundless. Without you the fans there would be no us. Tonight I sleep with a prayer of gratitude on my lips.

“This isn’t goodbye… yet… still 23 eps to shoot!”

Fair enough. We’ll wait to shed more tears until then.

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Kaley Cuoco Shares Her Heartbreak Over The Big Bang Theory Ending

On Wednesday, TV viewers everywhere cried out after it was announced that The Big Bang Theory is ending after 12 seasons.

Obviously, this has an even deeper impact on the cast and crew of the series. This is thier life and also their job.

Kaley Cuoco took to Instagram to tell fans that she is heartbroken over the news.

In an emotional post on Instagram, Kaley reacted to this news in a post for her fans and followers.

“This ride has been a dream come true,” Kaley acknowledges. “And as life changing as it gets.”

We should say so. Not only is she famous, but she’s worth tens of millions. To say nothing of the impact that her role on this series has had on her social life.

“No matter when it was going to end,” Kaley says. “My heart would have always been broken in two.”

“Drowning in tears,” Kaley continues. “We promise to bring you the best season yet.”

Kaley continues her emotional post with a shout-out.

“To the fans, our crew, families, Chuck Lorre, Warner Brothers, CBS, and everyone who has supported us for so many years,” Kaley writes. “Thank you.”

And she makes a promise to her fans.

Kaley announces: “We are goin’ out with a bang!”

Season 12, the final season, begins on September 24.

As recently as March, Kaley had spoken about the idea of the series getting a Season 13.

“I love being a part of the show and I think it’d be really stupid to say no,” she said at the time.

Of course. The show has an easy format and more viewers than anyone would believe.

Kaley affirmed: “There’s just nothing better.”

“Season 13 does sound kind of cool,” she said at the time. How sad.

The Big Bang Theory itself released a statement when cancelation news broke.

“We are forever grateful to our fans for their support of The Big Bang Theory during the past 12 seasons,” the statement reads.

The statement continues: “We, along with the cast, writers and crew, are extremely appreciative of the show’s success.”

So many shows don’t even get a season 2 or a season 4. Season 12 is rare.

“And,” the statement goes on. “Aim to deliver a final season, and series finale,”

The statement says that it will be a finale “that will bring The Big Bang Theory to an epic creative close.”

Kaley, at least, has just gotten married in July. She has a life outside of the show. And, again, a whole lot of money.

But when acting is your passion, even tens of millions of dollars might not be as fulfilling as continuing to hold a starring role.

Not everyone will be sorry to see the series go.

The Big Bang Theory drew criticism from different groups over the years.

The series received ire from nerds who resented being the targets of mockery and stereotypes to women who didn’t like the show’s sexist undertones to the autistic community who had a lot of issues with Sheldon’s character.

Others just didn’t think that it was funny.

But whether you loved the show or thought that 12 seasons was more than it deserved, let’s give a shout-out to the stars and to the fans. Final seasons can be so emotional.

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The Big Bang Theory: The 19 Best Episodes of All Time!

The Big Bang Theory may be coming to an end after 12 seasons, but the record-smashing and also controversial comedy series will leave fans with countless episodes to watch and rewatch.

But which episodes are the very best?

Everyone has their own opinions on which episodes are the best, but we took a look at how the episodes are rated on IMDB to figure out which are the most beloved by fans.

There are a lot of holiday episodes.

Also, a lot of episodes with the word "excitation" in the title. Mere correlation or is there a causal factor?

Take a look at 19 of the very best episodes of this legendary series — and get excited about your next rewatch!

19. The Bath Gift Hypothesis

Bbt 01 the bath gift hypothesis
Season 2, Episode 11 — a Christmas episode and also the highest-rated episode. While Sheldon agonizes over what to get for Penny, because he wants to match her thoughtfulness instead of going overboard or giving her less than she deserves, Leonard is preoccupied. See, his buddy David has taken an instant shine to Penny and Leonard is having all kinds of feelings about it.

18. The Opening Night Excitation

Bbt 02 the opening night excitation
Season 9, Episode 11 — in a truly preposterous turn of events, Sheldon has only just now realized that Amy’s birthday is on the same day as the Star Wars premiere, as if everyone doesn’t spend the three months before any new Star Wars film worrying and stressing over it. Sheldon does confide in Penny and Bernadette that he’s ready to get physical with Amy.

17. The Staircase Implementation

Bbt 03 the staircase implementation
Season 3, Episode 22 — honestly, this one is a lot of people’s all-time favorite episodes. Leonard tells the story of how he ended up living with Sheldon and while he overlooked Sheldon’s personality quirks, as if Sheldon’s friendship weren’t an absolute gift. Also, fans finally learn why the elevator doesn’t work.

16. The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Bbt 04 the adhesive duck deficiency
Season 3, Episode 8 — Leonard is with Raj and Woolowitz in the desert to witness a meteor shower. Sheldon stays home, but ends up bonding with Penny, who is sick. He accidentally touches her in a way that neither of them had intended. This was all leading up to fanservice, however, because he sings a new version of “Soft Kitty” to her.

15. The Maternal Capacitance

Bbt 05 the maternal capacitance
Season 2, Episode 15 — Christine Baranski is love, Christine Baranski is life, and she play’s Leonard’s mom. You know how you sometimes really bond with a friend’s parent? That happens with her and Sheldon, while she’s very critical of Leonard … and just about everyone else. Leonard and Penny get a little closer as a result of her visit, though.

14. The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Bbt 06 the thanksgiving decoupling
Season 7, Episode 9 — in yet another holiday episode on this list, awkwardness abounds at Thanksgiving. Sheldon is awkward around Bernadette, but her dad takes to Sheldon (and not to Howard Woolowitz) right away). In the mean time, Leonard does not love learning that Penny accidentally married her beautiful idiot boyfriend Zack years ago in Vegas. Whoops.

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The Big Bang Theory to End in 2019, Go Out in “Epic” Style

Bazinga?

More like BOO-zinga.

CBS announced on Wednesday afternoon that The Big Bang Theory will conclude its historic run in 2019, wrapping up for good at the end of Season 12.

At that point, the Emmy-nominated comedy series  will have aired 279 episodes and will bow out as the longest-running multi-camera sitcom in television history.

That’s far from shabby.

In a joint statement issued via press release, Warner Bros. Television, CBS and Chuck Lorre Productions said the following today:

“We are forever grateful to our fans for their support of The Big Bang Theory during the past twelve seasons.

“We, along with the cast, writers and crew, are extremely appreciative of the show’s success and aim to deliver a final season, and series finale, that will bring The Big Bang Theory to an epic creative close.”

The final season of The Big Bang Theory will premiere on Monday, September 24 (8/7c) on CBS prior to moving to its regular time period on Thursday, September 27 (8/7c).

The series finale will likely air some time in May of 2019.

The Big Bang Theory debuted in 2007 and airs in syndication around the globe.

It has received 52 Emmy Awaeds nominations, with 10 wins to date, although it has never won for Outstanding Comedy Series.

Ratings continue to be strong for the program, but costs have risen significantly since its inception.

In 2017, stars Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki, Kaley Cuoco, Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar signed new contracts, with each reportedly making around $ 1 million per episode.

After all this time on the air, the main cast members have acknowledged of late that the end could be arriving soon.

“The only manner in which the cast has discussed wrapping [The Big Bang Theory] has been that we’re all going to be very sad when that day comes,” Galecki said in January, adding at the time:

“But I think at this point everyone’s very comfortable with 12 seasons being a good time to go home and see our families.”

Cuoco also addressed the possibility of the program coming to a conclusion in March at Paleyfest, when she said:

“I can’t really picture it. And I don’t think there really will be my life without it – I think it’ll always be there, I think it’ll always be running.

“I think we’ll always have those fans. It’s always going to be a part of me.”

A series about science and technology, The Big Bang Theory has had a cultural impact like few other shows before.

To wit:

A bee species (Euglossa bazinga), a jellyfish species (Bazinga Rieki) and a monkey at the Columbus Zoo (Dr. Sheldon Cooper) have all been named in the show’s honor.

Bangers

In 2015, meanwhile, The Big Bang Theory Scholarship was actually created at UCLA.

It supports undergraduate students in need of financial aid who are pursuing their higher education Endowment, was established to in the fields of Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM).

Pretty cool, no?

The show has also produced a prequel/spin-off, Young Sheldon, which CBS counted last season among its top first-year hits.

Will you miss The Big Bang Theory?

Or is the time right for its cancelation?

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Kim Kardashian: FURIOUS that Kanye Wants to Bang Her Sisters!

Remember how Kanye West was exactly gross enough to express his desire to bang all four of his sisters-in-law?

A lot of people were grossed out by his lecherous confession.

Reportedly, one of those people was Kim Kardashian herself, who is outright disgusted.

Kanye’s new song, “XTCY,” 

“You got sick thoughts? I got more of ’em,” Kanye’s lyrics read. “You got a sister-in-law you would smash? I got four of them.”

He’s singing that he wants to bone Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, and Kylie.

“You did something unholy to them pictures, damn, you need to be locked up,” Kanye’s lyrics continue. “Nah, we need a bigger hot tub”

It sounds like he’s implying that he moved past guilt over perhaps masturbating to photographs of his in-laws, and has instead decided to try to seduce them.

RadarOnline reports that Kim Kardashian is big mad at Kanye over his creepy lyrics about her sisters.

According to their insider, Kim is “furious” with her husband for pulling a stunt like this.

The source says that “Kim was livid” when she first heard his outrageous lyrics.

And it sounds like this caught her totally off guard.

“He did not run the lyrics by any of them before he dropped the song,” the insider reveals.

Kim wasn’t the only one who felt, as the kids would say, squicked.

“It really grossed them all out,” the source reveals.

There’s a difference between knowing that you’re hot and hearing a member of your family confess that he wants to bang you.

The insider shares that: “The whole family was shocked that he would sexualize them like that.”

The Kardashians have built their brand upon their bodies, but that is supposed to stop when it comes to members of their family.

We know that this will totally shock you to hear about the dude who thinks that slavery is black people’s fault, but Kanye doesn’t get what all of the fuss is about.

Kanye feels, the insider explains, that this was “all in good fun.”

We’re sure that Kanye, who is wealthy and even beloved enough to avoid consequences for nonsense that would leave someone else alone and friendless, thinks that a lot of what he says is just fun.

He thinks this because it’s fun for him.

And it’s not clear how much Kanye understands that other people have lives and thoughts and feelings that don’t concern him.

We will say that we’re surprised — perhaps even incredulous — to hear that Kanye didn’t run this by anyone.

In 2016, Kim released those shadily edited clips of Taylor Swift on the phone with Kanye. At the time, Kanye had been running his lyrics by Taylor.

(That’s a whole other can of worms — or snakes)

It’s difficult to imagine that he wouldn’t do the same with his own family.

Then again, Kanye has said a lot of dumb stuff in recent months. Some wonder if he’s just spiraling and is determined to act out until even is extremely loyal wife can’t stand him anymore.

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Cardi B: I’m Literally Counting Down the Days ‘Til I Can Bang Offset Again!

Last month, Cardi B gave birth to her first child with Offset, just weeks after admitted that she had secretly married him.

Though Cardi is recovering from childbirth, she is being very vocal on social media about her eagerness to have sex with her husband again.

Folks, this is what we call being horny on main.

Cardi took to Twitter to highlight an image of her husband and baby daddy Offset.

Accompanying a photo of him wearing a cowboy hat, Cardi writes: “Hey cowboy, I want to take a ride on your horse.”

Fun fact: she is speaking almost entirely in flirty euphemism, a fact not lost on her followers.

One wrote back, suggesting that she should wait before sex: “You probably still gotta finish healing first.”

That commenter was right! Childbirth is wonderful but the reality of it is pretty horrifying and takes its toll on the body.

Cardi knows that and acknowledges that her follower was right … but her reply didn’t end there.

Cardi B knows that she needs to wait until her body heals before she bangs Offset again.

Not only that, she knows exactly how long.

Cardi’s reply: “3 weeks and 4 days!”

“Yes b–ch,” Cardi writes. “I’m counting ,wassup!”

Good for her for knowing what she wants and for owning her sexuality.

Cardi B tweets about thirst, baby #2

This was only part of Cardi’s interactions with fans.

One fan replied: “This pic made Cardi say YEEEHAWWW!”

Cardi quotes that tweet with a series of tearful laughing emojis.

Another commented: “Baby #2?”

Cardi adamantly replied: “Ummmmm NO.”

One new baby in the house is enough.

Another fan had a similar thought, writing: “Cardi about to make baby #2”

“Can ya stop saying that?!” Cardi asked. “If I get pregnant again imma curse ya out !!!”

That’s fair.

“Don’t you want a brother or a sister for Kulture?” one nosy fan asked.

“She got 3 already!” Cardi reminds fans. “Later on in life I’ll have more babies “

Cardi wrote about the baby she already has.

“My baby shleep,” Cardi shared with fans. “Should i go to my basement and do a verse for TASTE?”

She also commented on little changes she’d made now that she is a mother.

“Ok so if you noticed i changed my nail shape from pointy to square so i won’t hurt my baby,” Cardi tweeted.

That is very thoughtful!

“I’m thinking about only changing my pinky nail shape back to pointy,” Cardi wrote. “So i can take my babies little boogers out.”

A little graphic. Also, they make tools for that.

Cardi makes some interesting tweets. One of her most recent was:

“I don’t know if b–ches wanna fight me or eat my p–sy?” Cardi writes. “Both?!”

She continued: “I’m with it when it comes to both.”

Honestly, Cardi is such a delight. She’s a little wild — no, a lot wild — but she’s clearly devoted to her new role as a mother and is even changing her lifestyle to suit her baby’s needs.

Of course, since Offset was arrested on gun charges while violating his parole, some fear that Cardi may recover from childbirth … only to lose Offset to prison.

But that’s what conjugal visits are for.

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