Gisele Bundchen, Psychotic Eagles Fans React to Super Bowl LII

Well, the Philadelphia Eagles certainly beat the odds by pulling out a stunning victory over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII.

But more importantly, the city itself defied predictions by not being reduced to a smoldering pile of rubble in the hours after the win.

As you may know, Eagles fans have a reputation for being a bit of a rowdy lot.

And by that, we mean you shouldn’t interview them on live TV, unless you want your viewers to have to endure a lot of awkward conversations about Nick Foles’ genitalia at the dinner table.

Yes, the Eagles flock was flipping cars and climbing greased poles after the NFC Championship game, so not surprisingly, the city’s first Super Bowl win resulted in widespread mayhem.

It’s hard to pick just a handful of highlights from the Mad Max sequel that played out on Broad Street last night, but we’re partial to this clip of a bunch of fans toppling the canopy of the Ritz-Carlton.

It may not be as over-the-top as the ceremonial flipping of the Prius, or the chanting of “f-ck Tom Brady!” (guys, you have to get a little more creative than that), but this is riot porn for the thinking man:

First, there’s the fact that a bunch of grown adults thought it would be a good idea to test the strength of a fabric canopy by climbing their drunk asses on top of it.

Then there’s the delicious irony of it – the name Ritz-Carlton is synonymous with luxury the world over, and a bunch of drunk Eagles fans tearing the joint apart is a reminder of why some people just can’t have nice things.

Of course, we understand if you prefer your debauchery a bit less subtle.

So here’s a naked chick (pun fully intended) running around in an Eagles mask

Moving on from one type of loser to another, Tom Brady’s equally robotic supermodel wife was more gracious than usual in the face of defeat, taking to Instagram to congratulate Big Dick Nick and company on a well-fought battle:

“Congratulations Eagles for winning the Super bowl, what a game that was,” Bundchen wrote.

“Congratulations Patriots for giving your best and to my love, we are incredibly proud of you because we are able to see ever day all the commitment, sacrifice and hard work that you have devoted to become the best in what you do. We love you!”

This isn’t the first time the heavily-favored Pats suffered a humiliating Super Bowl loss, and when they went down to the Giants in 2012 Bundchen threw a tantrum that was caught on camera.

So perhaps Bundchen has learned to take a more stoic, Belichick-like approach to defeat.

Or maybe those Tom and Gisele divorce rumors are true and she’s ready to leave the Masshole life behind for good.

Either way, she should probably steer clear of Philly for a while, just to be safe.


Gisele Bundchen: Pressuring Tom Brady to Retire?

As you’re no doubt aware by now, the New England Patriots defeated the Atlanta Falcons in the first overtime Super Bowl in NFL history.

One of the more memorable images of the Pats come-from-behind win was Tom Brady’s supermodel wife, Gisele Bundchen, celebrating with selfies and giddy dancing in the team’s luxury box.

If a report published today by Radar Online is to be believed, however, it seems the couple’s revelry may have been short-lived.

The website claims that now that Brady has earned a record fifth Super Bowl ring, Bundchen is pressuring the 39-year-old to hang up his cleats.

“Giselle is begging him to retire and go out on top. She has retired and wants him to too,” a source claims.

“They have more money than they can ever spend and she is worried about him.”

Yes, the Bundchen-Brady crew certainly isn’t lacking for cash, and she the insider says she already knows exactly what she wants their lives to look like post-football.

“Giselle wants Tom to follow the David Beckham model post sports,” the insider continued, “Do endorsements, modeling and personal appearances.”

Unfortunately, it seems she her pleas to step away from the game are falling on deaf ears:

“He is a competitor and thinks he has another five years in him. He thinks he can win again,” the source claims.

It’s true that Brady has talked about sticking with the sport he loves into his 40s, but it seems unlikely that Bundchen is doing much to discourage him.

After all, Brady is somehow at the top of his game and his thirst for competition is well-known throughout the league.

Of course, if Gisele does have concerns for her husband’s safety, they’re certainly not unfounded.

The more we learn about the damaging effects of CTE and frequent concussions, the more we realize that it’s crucial for players to know when to step away from the game for good.

Brady may be the best quarterback to ever play the game, and for many, he secured his “GOAT” status with last night’s victory.

It’s tough to imagine what more he could stand to gain by staying in the league, but Tom Terrific didn’t get to where he is without an unquenchable desire to prove himself again and again.


Gisele Bundchen Celebrates Tom Brady’s 7th Super Bowl Appearance on Instagram

Okay, so this year’s NFL playoffs didn’t offer much in the way of excitement.

In fact, they offered some of the most boring games in recent memory, with an average margin of victory of 17.5.

Coming on the heels of a season-long ratings slump and competing with the end of democracy as we know it, the playoffs didn’t occupy as large of a place in the nation’s attention as they have in years past.

But don’t tell that to Gisele Bundchen, who’s understandably psyched about the prospect of her husband making NFL history by winning a fifth Super Bowl.

The Brazilian was on hand for last night’s blow-out victory against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and she was in quite the celebratory mood afterward.

Gisele was in attendance with son Benjamin, and she was reportedly all smiles as she interacted with fans and other players’ families.

She captioned the pic below, “Benny stopping the Steelers!!!”

We imagine after the pic was taken, Ben turned around and called Antonio Brown an assh-le.

Anyway, this new, bubbly Gisele is a far cry from the Gisele of 2012 who was slammed for blaming Brady’s teammates following the patriots Super Bowl loss against the New York Giants.

The victory is probably made even sweeter by the fact that the past year hasn’t been an easy one in the Bundchen-Brady household.

We should qualify that by saying it was a tough year by the standards of bajillionaires with the physical attributes of actual gods.

The season got off to a rough start after a judge upheld Brady’s “delfategate” suspension, forcing the 39-year-old to sit out the first four weeks of the season. 

The Pats performed admirably even without Tom, reminding the world once again that Bill Belichick’s time spent studying football instead of smoking weed with Jeb Bush has paid off.

Amidst all the drama, there was talk of Brady and Bundchen getting divorced, and Tom even got mixed up in the Ben Affleck cheating scandal.

(You don’t rat on ya fackin’ bros in Bah-ston, bro.)

But none of the accusations or controversies have been enough to keep Brady from his seventh Super Bowl.

A win would all but secure the living legend’s GOAT status … especially if he sports his giant coat on the sidelines.