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Farrah Abraham: Wanna Try the Frozen Yogurt From My Failed Business?!

While fans are worrying if Farrah Abraham’s latest feud will get her assassinated by the mob, Farrah has other business troubles.

We actually don’t mean Farrah’s sex work. Remember how she owns a frozen yogurt business for whatever reason?

It seems that it’s closing its doors. In fact, like Farrah herself so often is, the store’s former location has now been stripped bare.

Farrah Abraham and Sophia at FroCo

Farrah Abraham’s FroCo Fresh Frozen, a frozen yogurt restaurant located in an upscale shopping center outside of Austin, Texas, has closed.

The folks over at Starcasm hit the pavement to visit the Lakeway, Texas location of Farrah’s latest venture.

The doors are closed. The space is dark, and will apparently be available for a new lease in August.

The logo and store name have been purged from the exterior.

More than that, however, the interior has reportedly been stripped bare of decorations. Even things like electrical features are missing, leaving behind exposed outlets.

FroCo interior shot

The most heartwarming sight of all that Starcasm reported spotting was a trash back full of those nightmarish Cobas.

Cobas are FroCo’s “cute” mascots, and only the mascot McDonald’s introduced in 2014 fills us with greater dread.

If you can stare into these large, soulless eyes without a sense of despair, you’re made of sterner stuff than we are.

Anyway, we don’t think that the trash bag necessarily means that they’re being tossed in the garbage.

If FroCo is closing for good, then we imagine that Farrah will want to sell them to her fans (yes, she has them) as collectables.

But there’s another possibility.

It is possible that FroCo is simply moving to another location.

First of all, FroCo’s Instagram account has continued to post as if nothing has changed.

Over the weekend, they were still encouraging people to drop by their location.

Even on Tuesday, July 3, the account was still posting — this time, however, asking fans to demand that their local grocery stores order FroCo for their inventories.

Is it possible that FroCo is rebranding itself from a gaudily decorated frozen yogurt establishment to a frozen yogurt brand available nationwide?

Or is this just a change in venue — so that Farrah’s dream for the store can be fully realized?

See, Farrah has long envisioned FroCo as a place standing out from regular frozen yogurt stores.

(We have to point out that, and this is a bit of a spoiler, but the hit comedy The Good Place establishes that frozen yogurt is so unsatisfying that it’s made widely available to damned souls. That arguably fits Farrah’s brand)

Farrah wants FroCo to be like a miniature theme park. You know, like, playspaces at fast food restaurants?

She wants that, but for kids whose hands are sticky from eating frozen yogurt instead of greasy from touching french fries with their hands.

Specifically, Farrah wants a play space and she also wants the location to have a party room.

FroCo nightmare mascot

(Don’t stare at this photo too long, or they will start to stare back)

Michael Abraham tells Starcasm that “All is good in Froco land!”

So they’re apparently not going out of business.

“Farrah’s lease expired,” Michael explains. “And Farrah is taking her ‘Froco’ brand to the next level: into grocery store food chains and other select outlets.”

Those Instagram posts that we mentioned, he says, were planned.

“This has been in the works for a while,” Michael reports. “Along with a few ‘other’ business ideas coming out.”

As Starcasm notes, Farrah’s original plans were for opening FroCo on Austin’s very trendy South Congress Ave. Some couldn’t help but wonder if Farrah is planning to expand there.

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Jim Bob Duggar: Under Investigation For Criminal Business Practices?

Jim Bob Duggar has made a name for himself preaching the virtues of humility, modesty, and Christian charity.

However, there are those who believe that the reality star’s lifestyle doesn’t align with his ideals and that Jim Bob has proven chronically unable to practice what he preaches.

It goes without saying that the Duggar patriarch has made millions from his vast media empire.

But what many fans may not realize is that Jim Bob’s business aspirations don’t end there.

Over the years, he’s been involved in everything from politics to real estate, and he shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

Jim Bob has sold used cars; he’s launched a towing and repair company; he even bought up a large tract of land near his hometown so that he could lease it to a communications company that hoped to build a transmission tower there.

Basically, if you’re spending money in or around Tontitown, Arkansas, there’s a very good chance Jim Bob is getting a portion of it.

Locals have taken to calling the area “Duggartown,” and not surprisingly, there are many who take issue with a private citizen amassing such an incredible amount of power – and some of those folks share Jim Bob’s last name.

A former Duggar employee informs The Hollywood Gossip that Jim Bob’s second-oldest son, John David Duggar, has clashed with his father repeatedly in recent years.

The issue, it seems is that John David feels Jim Bob has been consumed by greed and reckless spending, and he fears that his father is putting the family at risk, not only by rolling the dice with their savings, but also by constantly butting heads with local authorities.

Just last week, Jim Bob outraged his neighbors with his efforts to have protected land re-zoned for public use so that he could develop it into a “high-end RV park” for the type of Ozark campers who seek to bring their living rooms into the wilderness.

The project has attracted loads of negative publicity, as well as questions about the legality of Jim Bob’s re-zoning efforts.

And now, it appears that this isn’t the first time that Jim Bob’s business initiatives have brought him into murky legal territory in recent years.

The first such incident occurred way back in 1988 when Jim Bob launched a business called Save-N-Go, INC.

Three years later, the Department of the Arkansas Secretary of State revoked Jim Bob’s license upon realizing that he had failed to file an annual report, likely in an effort to conceal his earnings from the IRS.

Jim Bob has run afoul of state and federal governments on several subsequent occasions, with one notable incident occurring just last year:

According to Radar Online, Jim Bob and Michelle launched Duggar Processing, LLC – an umbrella corporation to encompass all of their many business ventures – in May of 2015.

The company was shut down in January of 2017 when once again, Jim Bob’s business license was revoked.

This time authorities claimed that the Duggars had filed to meet tax document requirements in each year that the business had been operational.

Now, many believe that the locals who oppose Jim Bob’s RV park will get their wish, as the project appears to be dead in the water, likely as a result of an investigation into Jim Bob’s long history of shady business ventures.

It’s not always easy to answer the question “what would Jesus do?” but we’re pretty sure the correct response is never “constantly break the law and screw your neighbors in order to line your pockets.”

Watch Counting On online for more on reality TV’s most controversial family.

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Counting On Recap: Unfinished Business

Monday evening on TLC’s Counting On Season 6 Episode 2, Joy-Anna Duggar and Austin Forsyth were still living out of an RV.

Yes, their home was still unfinished. But they decided to enjoy their first meal together as a married couple there just the same.

If you watch Counting On online, you saw Joy and Austin’s courtship and wedding play out, but remember, these are Duggars.

This timeline was remarkably short. As such, they had never cooked a meal together before. In life. (Or had their own house.)

Even though the place wasn’t completed, “we thought it’d be special to eat our first meal in our new house,” Joy told producers.

Her 24-year-old husband added, “We don’t have to wait until the house is complete. We can go in there and have our first dinner.”

Joy, 20, wanted to make sure to make the setting “romantic,” despite the lack of finished floors, walls or air conditioning. Details.

That’s what the best memories are made of, right?

Obviously, for the pregnant Joy and Austin, living in an RV was not ideal, but they didn’t seem too bothered by the situation.

“Living in the RV is definitely … it’s fun,” Joy said with a smile. “It’s quaint,” Austin added. “Sometimes it can get a little tight.”

At the time, she was expecting, but still remaining tight-lipped about it; Joy-Anna Duggar gave birth to a son on February 23.

And yes, the house was finished on time for that.

Other Duggars experienced milestones as well on this installment, such as Jessa Duggar’s son Spurgeon and his first haircut.

At the age of 18 months, Spurge got his first trim … and Jessa herself did the honors. She’s talented as well as thrifty, after all.

“The strategy for giving Spurgeon his haircut is to distract him so he doesn’t really know what’s going on,” Jessa explained.

“I’m going to try to distract him and then just kind of sneak in there and trim it up,” she added, while husband Ben helped out.

“We should be able to get the job done,” he said. 

“If we can get him focused on something, then maybe he won’t move his head around a lot or try to grab Jessa’s hand or anything like that.”

They pulled it off. Down in Laredo, Texas, Jinger Duggar and Jeremy Vuolo were adjusting to life as newlyweds themselves.

Jeremy’s key to a happy marriage? “She’s the boss.” 

He’s a smart man. Jinger added, “We both, like with our personalities, we get along. We aren’t very upset by too much.”

Vuolo reiterated that Jinger Duggar wears the pants. Sometimes literally these days, and definitely in the figurative sense.

“There have been some disagreements, but I have learned through experience that if Jinger disagrees with me, she’s probably right.”

Key to a happy marriage right there.

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Barney the Dinosaur Actor Now Runs a Tantric Sex Business!

If you had to guess what the actor who portrayed Barney the Dinosaur for a decade is doing now, what would you say?

If your guess was that he currently runs a tantric sex business, congratulations.

He describes how how “worships” his “goddess” clients, helping them to become spiritually unblocked while also helping them to experience powerful orgasms.

Your first thought might be “oh no, another cult guy.” After Smallville star Allison Mack was exposed as a “Master” in a sex slave cult and actor Andrew Keegan started his own religion, who could blame you?

This is a little different.

54-year-old David Joyner, who started this business in 2004, only sees women as his clients.

He charges $ 350 for a full, 3-to-4-hour session, and boasts 30 clients.

Services include a ritual bath, chakra balancing, and a massage. Oh, and powerful, “cosmic” orgasms.

In an interview with Vice, the former Barney and Friends actor describes his tantric sex business in unabashed detail.

“When the lingam [penis] and the yoni [vagina] meet, there’s a certain energy that takes place that hands on the body alone cannot create,”

These are fairly common tantric terms, but we’d mention that, as the article notes, there are many tantric practices that don’t even require touching.

“Even through G-spot massage, it’s still not the same energy that flows.”

He says that his current work isn’t entirely unrelated to his work wearing the Barney costume.

“The energy I brought up [while] in the costume is based on the foundation of tantra, which is love. Everything stems, grows, and evolves from love.”

Now, though, he doesn’t use his yogic skills to entertain children, but to work as a healer.

“Even when you have emotionally blocked energy, the best way to remove it is to remove it with love, and then replace it with God’s divine love. Love heals and allows you to continue to grow.”

David Joyner describes how his yoga practices played into his work when, from 1991 to 2001, he portrayed Barney the Dinosaur.

“Before I got into the [Barney] costume, I would pray and ask God to allow his loving divine spirit to flow through me through the costume and let that draw the kids. That energy would always draw them in.”

He was noted for a particularly exuberant portrayal while wearing the costume. (Note: he did not provide the voice)

“Children are more connected spiritually than [adults].”

If he says so.

“A lot of times when I see infants and I’m out and about at the grocery store or whatever, they start staring at me. I make the joke, ‘You know who I am.’”

David Joyner Picture

Now, brace yourselves, because his descriptions get a little explicit.

“When you go down on a woman (orally), it should be just like you’re saying grace, like blessing the food you’re about to receive. No food in the world can compare to goddess nectar because spirit is involved.”

This is up there with Game of Thrones‘ famous sexposition.

“Before you taste the goddess nectar, give thanks. Say grace. I would love women to understand how powerful that energy is.”

Oh boy.

“Once the lingam is inside the yoni, there’s a technique where you don’t even move. You’re harmonizing spiritually and consciously, as you’re looking into each other’s eyes, and you’re feeling each other’s energy take place. This is about energy moving up.”

Again, as Vice mentions, other tantric practitioners balk at the idea that actual, penetrative sex is standard or necessary in most cases.

“A lot of women have never really had spiritual sex.”

The captions on his oldest Instagram post read:

“As a Tantra Massage Specialist and Energy Healer: The basic philosophy of Tantra is that all women are Goddesses, and when touching a Goddess or being intimate with a Goddess you should also understand you’re touching the hand of God and her spiritual connection with God.”

We don’t know how many tantric practitioners would agree with that characterization.

And this next line just about killed us.

“Stay thirsty my friends, but remember you’re drinking pure holy water.”

That line … we cannot unread. It’s going to haunt us for the rest of our lives.

David Joyner Pic

In fact, every part of this is going to haunt us for the rest of our lives.

You start of reading this wondering if Barney went on to lead a cult. By the time that you finished, you may have concluded that David Joyner is some sort of New Age gigolo.

It sounds like some Tantric practitioners might agree.

This actually brings to mind the infamous Phoenix Temple Case, where prosecutors believed that the Phoenix Goddess Temple was a religious front for standard, run-of-the-mill sex work. In that case, the jury sided with the prosecution.

While obviously sex work shouldn’t be illegal, some question where the line is crossed between sex work and spiritual practices. Sex holds sacred value in many faiths and in various non-religious spiritual paths … but where is the dividing line.

Anyway, if reading this results in any nightmares involving Sex Guru Barney, i will never sleep again.

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