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Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner: Calling Off Their Divorce?!

We know what you’re thinking — aren’t Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner already divorced?!

The answer, skeptical reader is no. No, they are not.

And we imagine some folks — like, say, Ben’s longtime girlfriend Lindsay Shookus — are beginning to wonder why these two are so hesitant to pull the trigger.

The official reason is that there have been delays with regard to the couple hammering out a mutually agreeable arrangement for custody of their three children.

But that explanation doesn’t tell the whole story.

Part of the reason the whole process has taken years instead of months is that Affleck and Garner nearly reconciled on several occasions.

Even after Garner filed for divorce in 2016, she and Ben were spotted attending couple’s therapy session.

These days, it seems they’ve fully made up their minds that they’re not right for each other.

In fact, there have been rumors that Affleck would like to marry Shookus as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, Ben and Jen have dragged their feet so long that they might soon be forced to start the whole process over from the beginning.

According to court documents obtained by Radar Online, Affleck and Garner were recently cautioned that if they don’t act soon, their case will be thrown out of the system.

“This is your third notice of case review,” the document states.

“If you fail to take the appropriate steps in your case, the Court may dismiss your case for delay in prosecution.”

Turns out, even if you’re rich and famous, the courts won’t just keep your divorce petition in limbo forever while you figure out how to divide up the alpaca farm.

Whatever happens next is sure to be at least mildly interesting.

Either Ben and Jen get divorced, thus bringing our long national nightmare to an end, or they decide to drag things out even longer.

If they opt for the latter, we can’t imagine Ben’s SNL producer girlfriend will be up for waiting around much longer.

If Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande have taught us anything, it’s that the live from New York set has no trouble attracting A-list significant others these days.

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Samantha Bee Apologizes for Calling Ivanka Trump a “Feckless C-nt”

Samantha Bee is known for playing dirty.

But the comedian now admits that she played a bit too dirty in her recent critique of Ivanka Trump.

Allow us to explain…

In a segment that aired on Wednesday’s edition of her Comedy Central talk show, Full Frontal, Bee attacked the First Daughter for her inability to put a to stop her father’s immigration policies.

Ivanka recently came under extreme fire for sharing an Instagram photo of herself and her son, a move she made amidst nationwide outcry over the separation of undocumented children from their parents.

“My [heart],” Trump wrote as a caption to this sweet, albeit tone deaf and poorly-timed, photo:

In response to this image, along with growing questions over how the current administration handled immigrant parents and their kids, Bee said the following yesterday:

“Let me just say, one mother to another, do something about your dad’s immigration practices, you feckless cunt!.

He listens to you.

“Put on something tight and low-cut and tell your father to fucking stop it. Tell him it was an Obama thing and see how it goes.”Y

Yeah. Bee very much went there. See it here for yourself:

Moreover, Bee went there (dropping the C-Word AND implying that President Trump is attracted to his own child) the same week that Roseanne Barr slammed a former black White House aide as an “ape” and saw her sitcom get canceled as a result.

Therefore, many Conservaties are calling out the media for a double standard.

Why has Roseanne been dragged so hard, yet so little has been said about Bee?

Why did ABC axe Roseanne Season 11, yet Time Warner and TBS have not uttered a single critique of Bee?

“Compare ABC’s reaction to Roseanne Barr’s tweet w TBS’s non-reaction to Samantha Bee and you’ll see a double-standard in action,” Tweeted George W. Bush advisor Ari Fleischer, adding:

“There’s no uprising against Bee. Why? Because she is liberal.  Because the MSM protects Obama and his aides, but not Trump. The hypocrisy is sickening.”

Adds Megyn Kelly:

“This is disgusting. How is this acceptable? And how are we expected to take any of these publications seriously if they gleefully repost something like this at the same time they (rightfully) condemn @therealroseanne?

“You know the saying Love is Love? Well Hate is Hate.”

bee slams

We’re not sure if this is an exact comparison, of course.

Roseanne has a history of saying racist things. And she dropped a very general and pretty darn random epithet on Valerie Jarrett.

Bee, conversely, basically just used bad language to describe Ivanka for one specific reason.

Still, however, Bee has offered an apology, Tweeting this afternoon:

I would like to sincerely apologize to Ivanka Trump and to my viewers for using an expletive on my show to describe her last night. It was inappropriate and inexcusable.

I crossed a line, and I deeply regret it.

Will this mark the end of the issue?

Probably not.

It seems impossible to believe that Donald Trump won’t chime in with an opinion, while the White House itself has denounced the remark via press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

She wants action taken against the Comedy Central host:

“The language used by Samantha Bee last night is vile and vicious,” she said, adding:

“The collective silence by the left and its media allies is appalling.

“Her disgusting comments and show are not fit for broadcast, and executives at Time Warner and TBS must demonstrate that such explicit profanity about female members of this administration will not be condoned on its network.”

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