Tristan Thompson to Cavs: Khloe Kardashian Will Dump Me If I Get Traded!

It’s been two months since Tristan Thompson was caught cheating on Khloe Kardashian, and yet somehow, the Cleveland Cavaliers forward remains un-dumped.

Sources say Khloe and Tristan are trying to make their relationship work, and they’ve both been making sacrifices.

Hell, Khloe is so committed to making this relationship work that she relocated to Cleveland.

No offense, Cleveland, but you know damn well the shores of Lake Erie have nothing on sunny southern California.

Anyway, C-town is one thing, but would Khloe be willing to relocate to Indiana? Milwaukee? Oklahoma City? Utah?!

We may be soon to find out.

If you’re a basketball fan, then you’re probably aware that the Cavs need to do some restructuring this season in order to assemble a roster of players who are able to remember what the freakin’ score is in the last seconds of a finals game.

That could be bad news for Tristan, who’s reportedly terrified of being traded.

“Tristan going to be in many draft day discussions and could be moving to a new team and he is dreading it,” a source tells Hollywood Life.

He doesn’t have a no trade clause so he can go anywhere and if he heads to a new city it would be a sore thumb for his relationship with Khloe,” the insider adds.

They would have to worry about moving all summer instead of enjoying the summer.”

We’re not sure this person understands how the “sore thumb” idiom works, but that’s neither here nor there.

It seems weird that Khloe would happily uproot her life and give birth to her first child in Cleveland, but she draws the line at moving a second time.

Like, that’s the deal-breaker? Really?!

It’s not the fact that Tristan was banging strippers while Khloe was eight months pregnant with his kid?!

Because we would think that that edges out moving to Minnesota on the terribleness index.

Not by a lot, mind you, but at least by a point or two.

We swear it wasn’t our goal to piss off the entire Midwest with this article.


LeBron James: The Cavs Are Losing Because of Khloe Kardashian!

Watching the Golden State Warriors is like watching someone play a video game on cheat mode.

The team has been so consistently dominant for so long that one hopes the rest of the NBA enjoys taking on a submissive role in the relationship.

Unfortunately for Steph Curry and company, LeBron James isn’t eager to roll over and play dead.

Sure, the rest of the Cavs might be, but King James wants to bring another title back to the Land, and he’ll do whatever it takes to bring his team back from its 3-0 deficit in the NBA finals — even if it means indulging in some old-fashioned superstition.

If you’re a sports fan, there’s a good chance you’re already familiar with the so-called “Kardashian Kurse.”

It’s based on the idea that athletes who date members of the Kardashian clan are more prone to, um … performance issues, and may even bring their entire team down as a result of their relationship.

Now, Khloe Kardashian has been dating Tristan Thompson all season, and his team made it all the way to the finals, so we think t would be safe to say his teammates don’t buy into such nonsense.

But there are those who say LeBron James is a believer in the curse, and that he feels Thompson’s relationship has been bad for the team.

“Cavaliers players are paranoid right now and fear the Kardashian curse might be a very real thing as they face a finals sweep by the Warriors,” one insider tells Hollywood Life.

“LeBron and the rest of the players can’t help but think that Tristan brought Khloe along with bad luck to the Cleveland team.”

According to the insider, LeBron and the Cavs are grasping at straws to try and figure out their lack of success against the Warriors, and they keep coming back to the Khloe explanation,

“Professional athletes are very superstitious and so they are looking for any explanation, logical or illogical, to explain their bad luck against the Warriors,” says the source.

“Rumblings in the locker room, behind Tristan’s back, are that the Cavs will not win another championship as long as a Kardashian is dating a teammate and going to games at the arena. They want her gone.”

If there’s any truth to this report, those “rumblings” must come as quite a slap in the face to Khloe, who has stood by Thompson’s side despite revelations that he cheated on her while she was pregnant with his child.

Khloe has been in attendance at Cavs games and has remained in Cleveland in the months since she welcomed her first child.

It remains unclear what the future holds for Khloe and Tristan, but insiders say the couple is intent on working things out.

But first, Tristan and his team have to attempt to defy impossible odds and come back against a team that’s been described as the most dominant in NBA history.

Here’s hoping Tristan doesn’t secure his place as the world’s most egregious d-bag by breaking up with the mother of his child over a stupid superstition.