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Jersey Shore Recap: Cheating Keto Guido

If you’ve been watching from the beginning, we probably don’t need to tell you that Jersey Shore Family Reunion is quite different from the show’s original iteration.

The OG Jersey Shore saw the housemates doing their best to get loaded and laid, stopping at nothing to achieve these goals, provided they weren’t forced to mess up their spray tans or elaborate hairstyles.

Family Vacation, however, is aptly named, in that the guidos and guidettes are often forced to be on their best behavior, a circumstance you can probably relate to if you’ve ever shared a coastal rental property with your immediate relatives for a week.

That may sound boring, and Vacation is undeniably much slower-paced than its predecessor, but in its own way, the series is just as engrossing as our very first excursion to Seaside Heights.

The stakes are higher, the jokes more consistent (and less problematic, if that’s your thing), and the storylines are more compelling, as we’re watching the crew attempt to navigate the choppy waters of adulthood and not simply dodge “grenades” and social diseases.

Much of the season has focused on Ronnie’s infidelity, and we’ve derived a whole lot of guilty pleasure from comparing the travails of his relationship at the time the show was filmed with his ongoing romantic difficulties, as documented on social media.

(Astonishingly, Ronnie and Jen Harley got back together this week.)

But last night was Vinny’s turn, as the Keto Guido repeatedly crossed the line while partying with the other members of MVP.

To his credit, Vin tries to do right by his model girlfriend, Elicea, but with a full bottle of Grey Goose sloshing around in his carb-deprived body, that’s easier said than done.

Vinny never takes things quite as far as Ronnie, but he knows that his girlfriend would not be pleased by his flirtatious interactions with the bottle service girls of South Beach.

In an effort to alleviate his guilt, Vinny calls Elicea in order to confess his misdeeds, at one point clarifying that he obtained the phone numbers of not one woman, but two. 

“What kind of guido math is that?” asks a befuddled Pauly.

It does seem weird to assure your girlfriend that you got two numbers instead of just one, but we think we see the logic in Vinny’s confession.

Something about the image of him drunkenly connecting with random strangers is less unseemly than the thought of him pursuing one woman all night.

One of the most shocking developments of Family Vacation, of course, has been the fact that Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has matured into one of the more stable housemates.

Granted, Sorrentino is facing prison time so he’s pretty much been forced to cool his jets, but he does seem to be doing his best to atone for his decade or so of wildly douchey behavior.

On last night’s episode, Mike recruited Jenni to help him pick out an engagement ring for his girlfriend.

He proceeded to have an anxiety attack because adulthood, but the man deserves credit for taking baby steps in the right direction.

Meanwhile, the rest of the cast combed South Beach in search of the perfect girl for Pauly, as though a famous DJ needs any help hooking up in Miami.

Pauly predicted that his friends would have trouble finding a mate who meets his exact specifications and in the end, we were treated to a lame visual gag as Vinny dressed up as Pauly’s ideal woman.

Hey, we said the jokes have a higher success rate than the original Shore; we never claimed they land 100 percent of the time.

Although actually, Pauly and Vinny might really want to consider finding comfort in one another’s arms.

It seems the Keto Guido’s reckless behavior was too much for Elicea, as Vin is now officially single.

Watch Jersey Shore online for more bad decisions from people who are deep into their thirties.

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Khloe Kardashian Gets Trolled: Fans Suggest Workout Songs About Cheating

Oh, Khloe. We don’t normally say that someone was “asking for” what they got … but Khloe did literally ask for this.

So, the proud new mother took to Twitter to ask her followers to recommend new music for her workout. Music can be great motivation.

And she is getting roasted with playlists designed to motivate her … to leave Tristan Thompson.

Khloe Kardashian seems too enamored with her perfect baby True to think too much about all of the unsanctioned adventures that Tristan Thompson’s penis had during her pregnancy.

Reports claim that she is ready to forgive and forget.

Fans, however, have not forgotten.

They are eager to see Khloe make good decisions for herself, her baby, and her future. And they just can’t see staying with the serial cheater who humiliated her in front of a global audience working out well.

So, naturally, when the fitness-obsessed new mother asked for advice on new workout music, fans sprang into action.

Hilariously.

Khloe Kardashian - music advice tweet

Suggestions from fans were numerous and … quite frankly, hilarious:

“New Rules” by Dua Lipa, which is about not taking back a toxic boyfriend.

“Should’ve Cheated” by Keyshia Cole, which is about breaking up with a man who’s accused you of cheating and other wrongdoings when you willingly ignored reports that he was a cheater.

“Unfaithful” by Rihanna, which is very much about cheating.

“Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood, which is considered by many to be the ultimate betrayal anthem.

Khloe Kardashian - music advice answer

The suggestions continue:

“Jolene” by Dolly Parton, a song imploring a beautiful woman to decline her man’s overtures because she’s truly in love with him.

‘Who’s Bed Have Your Boots Been Under” by Shania Twain, about a woman who remains with her cheating man while being completely aware of it.

Taylor Swift’s entire Reputation album was recommended, though that may have just been shade against Khloe’s sister, Kim.

Someone else tweeted some advice.

“Cardi B’s album: Invasion of Privacy.”

Followed by:

“Listen to thru your phone, feel empowered, and then never ever take Tristan Thompson back!!!!!”

Wise words.

Obviously, whether or not to stay with Tristan or dump his ass and go back to people who understand the concepts of love and loyalty is ultimately up to Khloe.

But a lot of fans are concerned that she’s letting personal hang-ups dictate the course of her life.

Khloe, like … most people, honestly, is a child of divorce.

She was of course very attached to her father (who was of course Robert Kardashian and not O.J. Simpson) and may feel that divorce (or, in this case, a breakup) should be avoided when children are involved.

But she’s forgetting a couple of things:

One, and this is true for all situations, but it’s going to be worse for a child to grow up around two parents who can’t stand each other than it is for them to have divorced parents.

Two, True is a baby who doesn’t even know what a “parent” is. She’s a month old. This is the absolute best time in True’s life for Khloe and Tristan to split.

True is extremely cute and she deserves the best future that her parents can give her.

Khloe’s fans, in their own tongue-in-cheek way, hope that she can do that.

They also want what they believe is best for Khloe herself.

But Khloe certainly has more information about this than any of her fans might.

Perhaps she really does know best.

We hope that she at least got turned on to a couple of new songs.

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Khloe Kardashian FINALLY Breaks Silence on Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal!

Khloe Kardashian hasn't made too many public statements in the past few weeks, huh?

Probably because she's been busy having a baby and then taking care of that baby. Oh, and also because her boyfriend was revealed to be a big ol' cheater like a day before she went into labor.

It's surely a very emotional time for her right now, what with the hormones and the huge life changes and all, so it's understandable that she hasn't been posting all over social media lately.

But now, at long last, she's finally commenting on the Tristan scandal …

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

1. What a Ride

What a ride
So first off … bless her heart. Just bless Khloe’s poor little heart.

2. Good News?

Khloe kardashian and tristan kiss
After all she went through in her marriage to Lamar, after wanting so much to have children but never being able to get pregnant or never finding herself in the right situation to have a baby, she found Tristan. They started dating in fall of 2016, and less than a year later, she was pregnant.

3. A Special Time

Khloe kardashian blonde hair pic
When the news broke about the pregnancy, so many people were so, so happy for her, remember? It wasn’t your average celebrity pregnancy announcement, it was bigger.

4. Bumpin’ Time

Khloe kardashian goes bumpin
Time went on, and Khloe confirmed the pregnancy, then she started sharing photos of her cute baby bump, then she started talking about starting a family with Tristan and how excited she was, and it was just so adorable.

5. Awww

A khloe kardashian kiss
Things were good and happy and lovely for a long, long time, right up until around Khloe’s due date, even.

6. Ugh

Tristan thompson
But then Tristan screwed it all up. Hard.

View Slideshow
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Blake Shelton Blasted for Hypocrisy, Cheating by Miranda Lambert Ex

Recently, Blake Shelton shaded ex Miranda Lambert on Twitter with an unkind subtweet, seeming to gloat over the “karma” of 

Well Blake isn’t Miranda’s only ex. Jeff Allen, whom she dated for years before she ever met Blake, 

He’s since deleted the tweet, but you have to read his impassioned words.

Blake Shelton’s tweet, which got the ball rolling, reads:

“Been taking the high road for a long time…”

By which he means that he hasn’t spoken as much as he could have about how things ended between him and Miranda.

“I almost gave up.”

Now he starts his bit.

“But I can finally see something on the horizon up there!!”

He’s referring to the accusations that Miranda Lambert stole her new boyfriend from his wife.

“Wait!! Could it be?! Yep!! It’s karma!!”

Oh boy.

Jeff Allen tweeted, writing words that he must have been sitting on for years and years.

“You know, i’ve always given you the benefit of the doubt and chalked it up to just being human.”

You can feel his anger in the now-deleted tweet.

“But you must be one arrogant SOB to pop off something like this.”

And here comes the accusation:

“When I know damn good and well you were cheating on your wife and Miranda was cheating on me when you two started up.”

Jeff Allen dated Miranda Lambert for about three years before they broke up and she dated — and later married — Blake Shelton. 

Allen has since deleted that tweet, but he did tweet this:

“I kept my mouth shut for 13 years.”

That’s a long time to hold onto something like this.

But he, if you can imagine, apologizes for his tweet.

“Sorry, his karma tweet rubbed me wrong.”

As well it should have. It certainly looked like hypocritical gloating.

“All of this is pointless.”

If you believe all of the accusations, Miranda Lambert cheated on Jeff Allen with Blake Shelton, who was also cheating.

Then, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert allegedly both cheated on each other, though the Country community seemed to side with Blake.

Then, Blake and Gwen Stefani bonded over both having been cheated on. At the time, they were both judges or coaches or whatever on The Voice.

Since then, Miranda spent over two years with Anderson East.

But now, she’s accused of “stealing” Evan Felker from his wife.

And yes, Miranda has been called out on social media by a very unhappy Mrs. Felker.

All of that alleged cheating is in the past, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be smooth sailing for Gwen and Blake from here on out.

Gwen Stefani has only had a few serious relationships in her life. She takes cheating very seriously.

Is she going to kick Blake to the curb when she realizes that he’s a huge hypocrite who used her heartbreak to bond with her?

Or is she so besotted that she’s going to keep going and perhaps even marry Blake … and only break things off if and when he cheats on her?

No one deserves that kind of heartbreak.

It may be that Miranda Lambert is, as some accuse her of being, a “serial cheater.” But she certainly has not stolen anyone’s husband.

Those men, if the allegations are true, have made their own choices.

And Blake was one of those men. It sounds like Jeff Allen was totally justified in tweeting what he wrote.

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Tristan Thompson: It’s Not Fair That Everyone Hates Me for Cheating on Khloe Kardashian!

It’s been a couple of weeks now since we learned that Tristan Thompson’s been cheating on Khloe Kardashian for pretty much the duration of her pregnancy, if not for their entire relationship.

But still, it’s such a wild story, right?

There’s video confirming that he got mighty friendly with women in Washington D.C. while he was there for a basketball game when Khloe was three months pregnant with their daughter, True.

And there’s more video showing him at a hotel in Manhattan looking mighty friendly with another woman — that was less than a week before Khloe gave birth.

If the video, the reports, Tristan’s NBA schedule, and the comments from then women Tristan allegedly slept with while dating Khloe weren’t enough, then Kim’s new interview with Ellen sure was.

In the interview, Kim described the situation as “so f-cked up,” which is definitely fair.

“We really were rooting for Khloe,” she added, “and we still are. You know, she’s so strong and she’s doing the best that she can. It’s a really sad situation all over.”

She didn’t say too much, unfortunately, because she said that she wanted to “keep it cute, keep it classy, and not talk too bad” since “some day, True is going to see this.”

While she may have been able to keep things cute and classy — many people think she chose to speak out about Tristan and Khloe to take attention away from Kanye’s recent bizarre behavior — she still confirmed, without a doubt, that all this is true.

And as a new report claims, Tristan is really not happy about it.

A source tells Hollywood Life that while Tristan assumed all the cheating stuff would come up on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, he didn’t expect anyone to do an actual interview about it.

“Tristan wanted to keep it in house as much as possible,” the source claims, “but now he sees that there is no rules when it comes to the family talking about it.”

What’s more, “the fact that the whole world knows his dirty laundry is really messing with his emotions.”

“He realizes that he put himself in this situation, but it’s really messing with him. He wants to focus on basketball and that is just not going to happen.”

Another insider has the same story — “Tristan is furious after finding out that Khloe’s sister Kim called him out for his poor behavior.”

“He genuinely feels bad about making a huge mistake with Khloe,” but he still “wishes Kim did not go on Ellen and announce it to the world.”

Because after all, “Tristan is in the middle of a playoff run and having Kim shade him publicly is not good for him or his team. He feels she’s messing with his NBA championship which is not cool at all.”

If you can even believe it, this source also says that “He wishes Kim had a little more class than to diss him so harshly in public while he is trying to help his team win another title.”

The guy who let multiple women feel him up in a hookah bar while his pregnant girlfriend sat at home is going to talk about class? Seriously?

Tristan’s upset with more than just Kim though — a third source says that he’s “pissed that he’s now better known for dating, and allegedly cheating on, Khloe Kardashian than he is for playing basketball.”

“It’s a really tough time for Tristan right now, both on and off the court, he’s under incredible pressure and he’s really stressed — he feels like he’s literally fighting for his career.

Oh wow, we didn’t realize what a hard time he was having with all of this!

It really makes you feel sorry for him, right? He feels like his entire career is in jeopardy, he’s on the outs with his girlfriend’s family, he’s pretty much universally disliked right now …

… Wait, he did literally all of that to himself? Every single bit of it?

Get over yourself, Tristan.

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Emily Ratajkowski: I Don’t Want to Believe That My Husband is Cheating

Emily Ratajkowski is known for her outspoken feminism, her modeling work, her acting career, and for her gorgeous looks. She has a lot of fans.

So of course word got back to her when her new husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, was spotted looking cozy with her friend … and not wearing his ring.

Ratajkowski is reportedly not cool with it. At all.

Just over two months ago, Ratajkowski stunned fans and friends alike when she married Sebastian Bear-McClard after only one month of dating.

But people were even more surprised when Sebastian was spotted out and about with his wife’s friend, Suki Waterhouse.

The two seemed extremely cozy despite being in public.

His arm was over her shoulder, and their faces seemed nose-to-nose at times.

More significantly, there was no sign that Sebastian was wearing his ring.

Yikes.

HollywoodLife reports that Emily Ratajkowski is furious that her new husband seems to be straying — and with her good friend, no less.

“Emily and Suki are friends but that doesn’t mean she’s cool with this.”

“Suki was getting way too close to her man. Emily read her the riot act as soon as she saw … she was furious with Suki.”

Everyone wants their friends to get along with their spouse, but … only up to a point.

The source says that Emily set Sebastian straight,t oo.

“And Sebastian didn’t escape her anger, he got an earful too.”

We can only imagine.

To be clear, this source says that she doesn’t actually think that Sebastian’s been cheating.

“Emily doesn’t think anything is actually going on between them.”

This is apparently more of a matter of making her look bad through an awkward public display that leaves her answering questions that she’d rather not be receiving in the first place.

“But she’s mad at them for making her look bad.”

Image matters, folks. Plus, many believe that men should restrain themselves to some degree after they get married.

“It’s just embarrassing and really disrespectful.”

When the story of what looked like extramarital PDA first surfaced, some wondered if Emily and Sebastian had silently split.

It wouldn’t be the biggest surprise to many fans.

Some are still recovering from their shock that the two tied the knot in the first place.

Again, they were only ever dating for about a month before they decided to get married. Which is … surprising. It’s not necessarily nuts, but some people considered it to be a bad idea.

Also, one doesn’t have to peruse Sebastian’s social media for long to find that his posts even just a couple of years ago were decidedly … not woke.

So it’s very easy for people to imagine these two finding that their differences cannot be reconciled.

While it’s good to hear that Emily didn’t jump to conclusions about her husband’s behavior with her friend … this isn’t confirmed.

it is unlikely that she’s going to make a public statement, totally unprompted, clearing her husband of any suspicion of stepping out on her or clearing her friend of betraying her trust.

If she and Sebastian do end up splitting, then we might expect one or both of them to make a statement in an interview, or perhaps on social media.

We might not understand why they raced to the altar, but we of course wish them the best.

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Khloe Kardashian: I’m Not in Denial About Tristan Thompson Cheating, Okay?!

It’s been a couple of weeks since Tristan Thompson was exposed cheating on Khloe Kardashian, and yet … there’s been no confirmed breakup.

Some worry that Khloe doesn’t have a klue.

But a new report says that she’s not oblivious or in denial … she just has a lot of things to consider. Hmmm …

A source has come forward to tell Entertainment Tonight that Khloe is not delusional and she’s heard most of the things that the rest of us have about Tristan and his adventurous penis.

“She’s not in a bubble of denial.”

Denial happens to a lot of people when bad news breaks. And some celebrities are notorious for sometimes living in a “bubble” that excludes information that the rest of the world can see on a daily basis.

Apparently, that’s not the case with Khloe.

“She knows what’s going on and is still trying to process it.”

There’s a lot to process, of course. What has some folks puzzled is that Khloe hasn’t cut Tristan loose, publicly and permanently, just yet.

“But so far, she’s managed to move past it and look forward.”

Tristan Thompson has reportedly been cheating on Khloe through her pregnancy with at least five different women.

He apparently didn’t feel a need to wear a condom while his penis was on its secret walkabout.

And one of these hookups is said to have taken place the night before Khloe’s baby shower. Gross.

Khloe and those in her inner circle of friends have internet access, just like the rest of us.

“Her friends and family are learning all these new details.”

Also like the rest of us, they’re apparently working to parse what is fact and what is an opportunist selling an alleged story for a quick buck.

“And it’s hard to know what’s just someone trying to cash in and what is true.”

When you don’t know what’s true and what’s not, because these things are difficult to verify, you don’t know what to pass on to the person who may need to hear it.

“It’s tough to know what, if anything, to tell Khloe.”

Do you ever have a friend who just refuses to hear any criticisms of her man?

To no one’s real surprise, it sounds like Khloe is of that temperament.

“If a friend tells Khloe that they heard about another cheating story, they risk being cut off by her.”

That sounds drastic, but Khloe is in an emotional place right now.

So apparently she may just not want to hear it. Even if she needs to.

We can imagine that a lot of people who love Khloe are walking on eggshells.

“She’s stuck by her man in the past, so it doesn’t even seem worth it to fill her in on all the details.”

The source dishes on Khloe’s surprising plans.

“Khloe is very settled in Cleveland right now and is planning on staying another few weeks to a month at least.”

Despite Khloe’s family’s (and common sense’s) urges for her to get the hell out of Cleveland and back to her family, it sounds like Khloe’s not leaving any time soon.

Maybe that’s doctor’s orders, but that sounds like she’s reluctant to break off her relationship with Tristan.

“Of course, that could change, especially since every day there seems to be more stories [coming] out about Tristan.”

Another source has recently dished about Khloe’s convicted feelings, saying:

“Khloe loves him deeply. He is the father of her child, but she feels betrayed and blindsided.”

At the risk of sounding blunt, being the father of her child at this point just means that the guy has viable sperm.

Haven’t his actions made it very clear that he’s passing out his DNA like a party favor?

“Khloe’s main focus is being a mother and figuring out what is best for True.”

If it’s true that Tristan is still hooking up with one of his side pieces, even as he is allegedly begging for Khloe’s forgiveness, that sounds like something that Khloe needs to know.

Even if it’s not fun to hear it. But we can understand why the people who love her aren’t willing to put their friendship on the line to warn her.

It’s hard to see how she could decide that staying with Tristan is the right thing. All things considered, some fear that Tristan would see it as unspoken permission to continue to cheat.

Even if he manages to keep his metaphorical ball (penis) in his own court, does she really want to stay with the man who humiliated her on the week when her child was born?

Not only does that seem like a toxic relationship for Khloe, but that seems like a less than ideal environment for True.

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Tristan Thompson: Did Kris Jenner Force Him to Pay $10 Million For Cheating?!

In the wake of Tristan Thompson cheating on Khloe Kardashian with numerous women, it’s safe to say that Tristan has fallen out of favor with … most people.

A new report says that Kris Jenner has found a way to penalize him for it — financially.

And she allegedly has a major threat hanging over his head to keep him from doing this to Khloe ever again.

OK! has an explosive report that claims that Kris Jenner forced Tristan Thompson to sign over some serious cash into a trust for his daughter, True Thompson.

This isn’t a college fund or a childcare agreement.

The reported amount is to the tune of $ 10 million.

In addition, Kris also allegedly got him to agree — on paper, contractually — that he will fork over an additional $ 10 million into this fund every time that he gets caught cheating.

That amounts to massive, automatic punitive damages if he ever steps out on Khloe again.

Allegedly.

A source dishes to OK! on where Kris is coming from.

“She’s been through it all with her girls.”

Having children exposes you to a lot of new experiences. Having six children exposes you to many, many new experiences and can impart valuable lessons.

“And at this point, she knows exactly how to take control, no matter the situation.”

(I once had a dream that Kris Jenner was a queen — a literal queen. A friend remarked: “Oh, so she was just herself.” Accurate)

“Of course Kris hopes the contract will deter him from future bad behavior.”

A $ 10 million penalty is one hell of a deterrent. Unless you’re a corporation.

“But if it doesn’t she’ll make sure there’s a payday for her family.”

It sounds like Kris has a bit of a Xanatos complex. No matter what the outcome, she wins.

Most people’s first question is … can Tristan really afford all of that?

After all, not all famous sportsball dudes make the kinds of riches that so many people assume.

But Tristan is making major money.

His net worth is reportedly about $ 20 million.

And he apparently makes about $ 15 million per year.

That said, Tristan has been benched by the Cleveland Cavaliers. Some say that this is connected to his cheating scandal.

I’m no sports expert, but if Tristan isn’t contributing to his team, how long is he going to continue making $ 15 million per year?

There’s no question that Kris Jenner would go above and beyond to protect Khloe from further embarrassment, betrayal, and heartbreak.

But it sort of defies belief that Tristan — or anyone else — would sign such a document.

The $ 10 million that he would allegedly set aside for his daughter, who will never want for anything in life, would be half his net worth.

And opening himself up to $ 10 million penalties in the future, when he has to know good and well that he’s not going to suddenly have a change in personality and keep his penis to himself?

(Again, this is a guy who allegedly got his side piece pregnant while cheating on pregnant Khloe, whom he started dating while his ex was pregnant)

That would be bonkers.

It sounds more plausible to most that Kris has advised Khloe to take her baby and leave Tristan and Cleveland in the dust and come back to Calabasas as soon as the doctor clears her to fly.

Most people feel that, realistically, it makes the most sense for Khloe to just dump Tristan and he can see their daughter … as often as custody agreements will allow.

After all, Khloe is not known as the forgiving type. And given that this seems to be a long-running pattern for Tristan, it’s difficult to imagine that he’ll change.

(Beyond getting more secretive)

If you want to bang every attractive person you meet, you should either avoid getting into a committed relationship … or find a partner who is totally fine with you, shall we say, putting your ball through other hoops from time to time.

If Khloe isn’t down for sharing her man, she needs to find a man who feels the same way. Also, one who hasn’t humiliated her in front of the entire world.

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