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Yes, we know everyone wants Oprah to be president after her Golden Globes speech on Sunday night, but for our money, if there’s anyone who can unite this divided country, it’s Serena Williams.
Serena is one of the world’s most dominant athletes; she’s an inspiration to millions; she won a freakin’ Australian Open while pregnant, and she’s married to a tech gazillionaire.
What we’re saying is, we will personally engage in fisticuffs with anyone who has even the slightest complaint about Serena.
Which sadly means we’re gonna have to fight a bunch of basement-dwelling, bigtoted troglodytes.
As you can seen, Serena covers the new issue of Vogue with her adorable 4-month-old daughter.
And as further proof that we’re living in the Darkest Timeline, people are upset about it.
Yes, as hard as it might be to believe that anyone could be so bitter about their own crappy life that they would take issue with a photo of a world-class athlete and her 4-month-old baby, it seems the goal of 2018 is to remind us each and every day that the planet is populated by humans so cartoonishly evil that they wouldn’t be welcome in Slytherin House.
As you may already know, Serena is married to Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of Reddit.
You would think that as one of the creators of the internet’s most popular anonymous sh-t talking dens, Ohanian would be beloved by anonymous sh-t talkers.
But apparently that’s not the case.
In fact, it seems many of the people who commented believe Serena and Alexis should never have married or reproduced because–long, pained sigh–she’s black and he’s white.
“Serena is a disgrace to her parents, grandparents, African ancestors because she married and mated with a European knowing that his ancestors owned Africans as SLAVES,” wrote one commenter who’s probably a lot of fun at parties.
A good rule of thumb is that no one who uses the word “mated” in casual conversation is even remotely sane.
As usual, there were also people who talked disparagingly about Serena’s appearance and even–anguished, audible groan–the appearance of her baby.
But we’re not going to reproduce those comments here.
In fact, we’re leaving all that negativity and BS in 2017, folks!
It’s all positive vibes and hydration and whatnot from here on out!
Now if you’ll excuse us, we have Real Housewives to make fun of.
Damn, we’re messing this up already, aren’t we?
Kylie Jenner is alive and well, folks.
The 20-year old reality star, who rarely lets a day go by without sharing a new photo on Instagram, has been largely absent from the social media platform over the past few weeks.
Moreover, Kylie is nowhere to be found on the latest Kardashian Christmas card.
Following weeks of teaser images released by the famous family, most followers assumed the card’s photo shoot would culminate in the reveal that Jenner is, indeed, pregnant.
Alas, it did not.
But Kylie did make a separate appearance this week, as she shared the cover of the latest LOVE magazine on her aforementioned Instagram page.
She included with it a caption that reads:
“Merry Christmas! Thank you @thelovemagazine @kegrand for this special cover shot by @kendalljenner & interview by @krisjenner #love19.”
Yes, sister Kendall snapped this picture and mother Kris conducted the featured interview.
It’s pretty clear at this point that Kylie is being as careful as possible about who she lets into her inner circle while she’s expecting.
Which is totally fine, of course.
Kylie is very much allowed to announce her pregnancy on her own terms, whenever and however she pleases.
But she has to understand that her 100 million-plus social media followers are growing anxious, especially because they’re used to Jenner sharing every aspect of her life with them…
… and also because Khloe Kardashian has confirmed her pregnancy.
When will Kylie finally do so?!?
At least one fan is banking on this week.
“ok bet. new year, new baby has got to be kylie… can’t go out with a better bang than revealing your hidden pregnancy as the ball drops,” Tweeted @donniedarkhoee, adding:
“couldn’t imagine anything more extra considering they played us so hard on christmas. she’s about to claim a whole new year.”
Others, meanwhile, think the child has already been born. HA!
As mentioned previously, we can’t blame or judge Kylie for how she handles her pregnancy.
At the same time, we also can’t blame fans for giving her a hard time.
When you’re someone such as Kylie Jenner – whose best known attribute is simply sharing private news and photos with the public – you have to expect some backlash when you choose to go silent over such a significant issue.
The only conclusion we can draw from her silence is that Jenner isn’t excited to be a mother.
There’s no way she and Travis Scott planned this, right?
Or… wait… might Kylie be FAKING the pregnancy?!?
There are a few clues that could back up this likely misguided theory. To wit:
Meghan King Edmonds stars on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
And we say this with no disrespect nor any judgment of any kind, really, but…
… it may very well be the whitest show on television.
Each week, this Bravo series just pits one spoiled rich white woman against each other, as one First World Problem after another is discussed and dissected in nauseating detail.
Doesn’t mean the program isn’t entertaining.
It’s just… very white.
This likely explains the outcry by some on the Internet in response to Edmonds being featured on the latest cover of Latina Magazine.
The reality star, who is pregnant with her second child, at least seems to recognize that she isn’t the typical main subject of this particular publication.
First, she shared the following image on Instagram:
Then, she included the following caption along with it.
“I’m so proud and honored to be on the cover of @latinamagazine1 and represent @glamarella_jewelry!” wrote the cable network personality, adding:
“I loved doing this shoot right after I found out I was pregnant! No, I’m not Latina but I was asked to be on the cover and talk about my life and #RHOC in the cover story so I guess I’m blessed to be an honorary Latina this month!
“(By the way, big shout out to my husband for my engagement ring that got a front and center shot!)”
Ah yes, an “honorary Latina.”
It’s safe to say this cover shoot and this phrase didn’t sit well with readers of the magazine.
“Dressed up the nice white lady to look like a Latina for Latina magazine because?” wrote one dissatisfied Internet user.
“This is the same as black facing only for Latinas now! What a fail.”
Not exactly, of course. It would maybe the same if Edmonds’ skin was darkened or she was wearing a sombrero or something.
But general point still taken.
Other critics laid into Latina for putting “white privilege” on display, while another person chimed in with:
“This is beyond disappointing and such a slap in the face to the ENTIRE community. Shame on you!”
This magazine does consistently feature prominent Latinas such as Demi Lovato, Jennifer Lopez, Paulina Rubio, Jessica Alba, Shakira, Eva Longoria, Salma Hayek, Eva Mendes, Christina Aguilera, Naya Rivera, America Ferrera and even Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor.
The November 2015 issue featured girl group Fifth Harmony, whose three out of five members are Latinas, marking the first time two non-Latinas were featured on the cover of the magazine.
So this was a trend that started a couple years ago.
What do you think of this supposed scandal?
Do the haters have a point?
Or should everyone be okay with Latina diversifying its cover subjects a bit?
Edmonds and her co-stars – including Vicki Gunvalson, Kelly Dodd, Tamra Judge, Shannon Beador, Lydia McLaughlin, and Peggy Sulahian – will return for Season 13 some time next year.
Will you be tuning in?
Halsey and G-Eazy don’t seem to care much about keeping things professional … they’ll make out in the middle of a show if they damn well please. Halsey was joined by her rapper boyfriend mid-set of her concert Friday night at the Forum in L.A.…
Justin Bieber hasn’t been heard from much over the past several weeks.
And now we unfortunately know why:
The singer has been off destroying his previously-smoldering body.
The 23-year-old pop sensation debuted a new and unexpected look on Saturday via Instagram Saturday, lifting his shirt off to reveal..
… wait, what the heck did he just did?!?
Bieber now has his entire torso covered in tattoos, from his collar bone all the way down to his chest… and also down to his lower stomach.
Bieber initially shared on his wildly popular Instagram page a bathroom selfie depicting this rather extreme look.
See for yourself here:
According to E! News, Bieber’s new set of tattoos were done by famous tattoo artist Bang Bang.
It took three days to complete his latest ink.
Pretty crazy, right?
We can’t help but wonder whether Bieber was trying to impress rumored new lover Paola Paulin, an actress on the HBO program Ballers who has reportedly been balling Bieber.
By which we mean… the stars are totally having sex!
Here’s an even closer look at the “art” that now covers every inch of Bieber’s chest and sleek stomach:
Bieber got his first tattoo in 2012… and has basically been updating his literal body of work ever since.
He has a photo of Jesus Christ on his calf… and a grinning Joker’s face… and an Indian’s Chief head.
And A LOT more.
As you might expect, fans of the artist weren’t thrilled with this look.
“Please tell me this is a joke,” wrote one self-proclaimed Belieber.
“NOOOOO!” another said simply.
“What is he doing to himself,” wondered another. “Can’t he just go back to making music?”
Yes, someday, Bieber claims. But it’s unclear when.
Click around below, meanwhile, for a lengthy look at many of Bieber’s most embarrassing tattoos: