Roseanne Barr: I’m Not Racist, Just Super Dumb!

Roseanne is … she’s been … the thing about her is …

It’s just a weird, awful situation, basically.

Roseanne’s recent troubles began last month, when she made a very, very questionable statement on Twitter that was bad enough for ABC to cancel the wildly successful reboot of her sitcom.

What did she say that was so bad?

You surely know by now, but this woman thought it would be appropriate to jump in a thread about Valerie Jarrett, a black woman who worked as one of Obama’s advisors, and write “muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby = vj.”

It was terrible, she 100% should have known better, but still, that’s what she wrote.

People were understandably upset by her tweet, and like we said, the backlash was enough to get the reboot of Roseanne cancelled.

She apologized for her remark shortly after making it, and she also tried to make a whole, whole lot of excuses for it, explaining that “It was 2 in the morning and I was ambien tweeting.”

She’s also said that she’d been criticized so harshly because she’s Jewish, and that she planned on “making restitution for the pain that I have caused.”

Basically, she’s been saying a whole lot of things, and most of them have been very bad.

So why would what she’s saying now be any different?

Roseanne has this friend, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, and he’s got a brand new podcast. So on the very first episode, she made an appearance, and you can probably guess what they talked about.

To kick things off, she said “Of course I’m not a racist, I’m an idiot, and I might have done something that comes across as bigoted and ignorant and I know that that’s how it came across.”

“I ask for forgiveness because I do love all people, I really do.”

She even began sobbing, saying “I have black children in my family. I never would have wittingly called any black person and say they are a monkey.”

“I just wouldn’t do that, and I didn’t do that and people think that I did that, it just kills me.”

And although she was “impaired” when she made the tweet, “I don’t excuse it.”

“I horribly regret it, are you kidding me?” she asked. “I’ve lost everything, and I regretted it before I lost everything, and I said to God, I am willing to accept whatever consequences this brings, because I know I’d done wrong.”

“I’m willing to accept what the consequences are. And I do and I have.”

Then, if you can even believe it, she tries to make another excuse for what she tweeted about Valerie Jarrett with “I don’t agree with her politics and I thought she was white.”

She seriously said “I did not know she was a black woman.”

“When ABC called me and said, ‘What is the reason for your egregious racism?’ I said, ‘Oh my God, it is a form of racism. I guess that I didn’t know she was black and I’ll cop to it.'”

For what it’s worth, which isn’t much, she admitted “I know I should’ve known better because I know it’s a form of racism to assume that every person who looks white is indeed white.”

“People make that mistake about me all the time. They think I’m not Jewish.”

But after that, she said “I’ve always worked with black women and worked on my racism and their anti-Semitism, we’ve all done … I’ve done that since the 60s and you know, it still creeps in.”

So which is it? She didn’t know Valerie Jarrett was black or racism crept in?

Either way, she apologized again with “I am so sorry and humiliated and, you know, angry at myself but in my heart, I just made a stupid error and I told that to ABC, and they didn’t accept it or want to hear it.”

“I said, ‘But that’s the truth. I thought she was white.”

Will anyone actually believe this? Maybe, but probably not.

After all, this wasn’t the first time she’s ever been awful, and it certainly won’t be the last.

But to defend herself yet again, she explained “Sometimes you just say the wrong words. And I should have known better. I should’ve not done it.”

“I wish the hell I wouldn’t have done it and I should have been better and I wasn’t and I caused a lot of pain and I know that and that’s the worst feeling in the world — I caused pain for my family, I caused pain for my mother, I caused pain for the 200 actors that I love, and crew and writers.”

“I feel so bad that they gave me another chance and I blew it,” she lamented.

Well, that last part isn’t entirely true — she did blow it, but only for herself.

ABC confirmed just a few days ago that they’d be moving forward with the show, without Roseanne’s character and with a new title of The Conners.

So all those actors and the crew and the writers will still have their jobs, isn’t that neat?

It’s funny how successful you can be if you’re not a terrible person who says racist garbage!


Matt Roloff Slams Amy Roloff as “Insecure,” Sort of Dumb

They say you should never mix business with pleasure.

But Matt Roloff and Amy Roloff have been attempting to do just this for about two years now.

The reality stars got divorced in 2016, yet both still live on the same property and both still run Roloff Farms together.

This arrangement has worked reasonably well so far, although we doubt either Matt or Amy would label is as pleasureful.

On Tuesday night’s episode of Little People, Big World, viewers were taken behind the scenes of this unusual business relationship, while also witnessing even more tension between the exes.

(Matt and Amy have clashed all season; the former even admitted that he may move far away from her this year.)

The tension stemmed from this installment being filmed during pumpkin season on the farm, which is when the business rakes in a significant share of its annual revenue.

“Even though Matt and I are divorced, we are still business partners,” Amy explained early on, adding:

“And our pumpkin store during pumpkin season has a lot of items in it. We sell pumpkin butter, pumpkin salsa; but you know obviously with the divorce, we definitely have our own individual finances.”

Why was this an issue last night?

Because Amy baked her own pumpkin bread and wanted to sell it in the store.

This meant she had to talk to only her ex-husband about it, but also his girlfriend, Caryn Chandler, because she serves as the farm’s manager.

“Caryn thought to put [your bread] right front in center, [so] it’s the first thing you see when you walk in the store,” Matt told Amy, seemingly offering her a great deal to which she initially agreed.

HOWEVER, Matt then brought up his children’s book and explained the caveat:

“With my book I’m going to pay the farm fee, you guys can figure out whether you want to do some percentage thing or some flat fee per transaction.”

“Why?” asked Amy.

“I need to compensate the farm,” Matt replied.

The idea behind this fee is that the store is meant to make money for the farm; for the business as a whole.

If someone wants to sell his or her own product there, he or she must give a percentage of the profits to the farm. Or just pay the farm a flat fee for stocking his or her item(s).

Amy didn’t seem to totally grasp this notion.

Or perhaps, as a co-owners, figured she would be exempt from such a policy.

“Having a conversation with Matt, he will bring up something that totally catches me off guard,” she told the cameras. “So I always feel less confident and definitely at a disadvantage.”

Matt tried to explain that it’s a bad “business model” to sell anything at the store for which the farm doesn’t get a cut…

… before turning sort of mean and personal.

“Amy doesn’t have a good sense of what it takes to run the farm. Amy can be very, very insecure. I try to be as patient and easy as possible,” he told the camera.

Previously, Matt has taken issue with how producers edited series footage to make it appear as if he and his relatives didn’t get along.

But that complaint falls a little flat when he comes right out and says this sort of thing about Amy, don’t you think?

“When it comes to Amy and I, it’s just one day at a time. One day it feels like it’s working and another day it feels like it’s not working.” Matt added.

And this is perfectly understandable.

No divorced couple could work so closely together without a few ups and downs.

“There is a lot riding on pumpkin season,” Amy later admitted.

“Because what we make during pumpkin season sustains the farm all year long… working with Caryn or Matt, I have to put aside what personal feelings I may have because pumpkin season is a family business and I want it to continue to be around for the kids and the grandkids.

“So I definitely want things to go well.”

To see how this issue was resolved, and to see how Jeremy Roloff fared taking care of his daughter all alone, click below to watch Little People, Big World online.


Meghan Markle’s Dumb Dad Wishes He’d Gone to the Royal Wedding

If you’ve been anywhere near an internet-enabled device in the past 72 hours, then you’re no doubt aware that Prince Harry married Meghan Markle in a unique ceremony at Windsor Castle in London.

Harry and Meghan’s nuptials were different from previous royal weddings in a number of important ways.

Most were cool and interesting, others … well, not so much.

For example, the ceremony incorporated elements of African-American culture in order to honor Meghan’s ethnicity and nationality.

That was inarguably awesome.

In the other column, you’ll find the almost unbelievably messy drama surrounding Meghan’s family.

While it certainly helped set this wedding apart from its predecessors, we’re guessing Harry and Meghan would have been happy to skip over the soap opera BS delivered by her father and her half-siblings.

Meghan’s half-brother and half-sister talked a bunch of trash, but that came as no surprise, as those two revealed themselves to be bestselling items at the jerk store several months ago.

Much more unexpected was the last-minute turmoil involving Meghan’s father.

Thomas Markle skipped the royal wedding, bowing out just days before the ceremony for reasons that still aren’t totally clear.

At first, there were reports that Meghan’s dad had suffered a heart attack.

Now, however, it doesn’t that that was the case.

The more likely explanation seems to be that Thomas was humiliated by the revelation that he’d agreed to be photographed by paparazzi in exchange for a fee.

That’s not to say Thomas is without health issues, but it seems that his reasons for skipping the wedding were more varied and complex than initially reported.

Weirdly, Thomas was in regular communication with TMZ throughout the build-up to the wedding, and he spoke to the site on Saturday after Meghan and Harry exchanged vows.

“My baby looks beautiful and she looks very happy,” he said.

“I wish I were there and I wish them all my love and all happiness.”

Thomas added that watching the wedding on television was both “emotional and joyful.”

We may never know exactly what prompted Thomas to stay home instead of participating in this once-in-a-lifetime event, but remarkably, it seems he and Meghan have remained on good terms.

But perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised by that – something tells us Meghan has lots of experience forgiving her father.


Jenelle Evans Claims David Eason is Black: Is She REALLY That Dumb?

Look, Jenelle Evans has never claimed to the sharpest tool in the shed.

We don’t watch Teen Mom 2 to see her share her infinite wisdom or her powerful insight, because those things simply don’t exist.

We watch to see her do dumb stuff and throw tantrums.

And — lucky us! — she was kind enough to show off some of that classic Jenelle lack of intellect this week on Twitter.

The whole thing started when our girl decided to make a tweet explaining just how very, very happy she is, writing “I love my family, husband, LAND, house, being outside, smelling my fresh woods everyday, and mostly LIVING LIFE.”

“You can hate it all you want but im happy and very content. Try to bring me down but I’ll lay low and stay humble.”

Because happy and content people always make public statements on social media about how happy and content they are, right?

Also, has Jenelle ever once in her career as a trashy reality star been able to “lay low and stay humble”?

This tweet itself is pretty precious, but the real magic happened when someone replied to her, asking “How’s your racist and homophobic husband?”

And you are not emotionally prepared for her answer.

“My husband is black, but yeah ok sure. Lmao,” Jenelle wrote.

Jenelle. Thinks her husband. Is black.

To be clear, she’s still married to David Eason, she didn’t up and divorce him and marry a new guy since we last checked in on her.

(Though how glorious would it be if she finally admitted to herself that good ol’ Kieffer is her real and true soulmate then ran away to marry him in a jailhouse ceremony, meth lab charges be damned?)

She’s still married to David Eason, so she’s trying to say that David Eason is black.

And not one single solitary soul could figure out what she was even trying to communicate with that.

Luckily, she responded to all the confusion by explaining that he has “less than 1%” black in him, but that he is still black.

It’s almost too painfully stupid to be entertaining, right?


One of her followers asked if she was being serious, and she said “Yes, he has Senegal and North African in him. #FunFact.”

When no one took her word for it and congratulated her on having such a racially diverse family, she took to Instagram to share the “proof,” David’s Ancestry.com test results.

David Eason ancestry

As you can see, David does have less than 1% North African ancestry, as well as 1% Senegalese.

And as Jenelle so deftly points out, David “has African in him, I guess Ensley does too.”

Does she really think that’s how any of this works?

The African parts of David’s Ancestry results are in a category marked “low confidence regions,” meaning that he couldn’t actually have any percentage at all of that in his DNA.

And even if he did, pretty much everyone at this point has at least a small percentage of a different ethnicity in their DNA. David isn’t black because some great-great-great-great-grandparent may have been from somewhere in the world that isn’t Europe.

Also … does Jenelle realize that everyone from Africa isn’t black? Like, is she even capable of understanding that?

Finally, David’s tiny percentage of African DNA that may not even exist in him does not mean that he can’t be racist.

Come on, Jenelle. You’re … well, you’re not exactly better than this, but can you at least pretend sometimes?


Chael Sonnen Says Floyd Mayweather Is ‘Dumb’ & ‘Broke,’ And Is 100% Fighting Again

Chael Sonnen says Floyd Mayweather coming outta retirement is already a done deal … ‘cause he’s a “dumb-dumb” who’s burned through his billion-dollar fortune!! And that ain’t all — Chael is guaran-damn-teeing Floyd’s next fight will…