Jenelle Evans Claims David Eason is Black: Is She REALLY That Dumb?

Look, Jenelle Evans has never claimed to the sharpest tool in the shed.

We don’t watch Teen Mom 2 to see her share her infinite wisdom or her powerful insight, because those things simply don’t exist.

We watch to see her do dumb stuff and throw tantrums.

And — lucky us! — she was kind enough to show off some of that classic Jenelle lack of intellect this week on Twitter.

The whole thing started when our girl decided to make a tweet explaining just how very, very happy she is, writing “I love my family, husband, LAND, house, being outside, smelling my fresh woods everyday, and mostly LIVING LIFE.”

“You can hate it all you want but im happy and very content. Try to bring me down but I’ll lay low and stay humble.”

Because happy and content people always make public statements on social media about how happy and content they are, right?

Also, has Jenelle ever once in her career as a trashy reality star been able to “lay low and stay humble”?

This tweet itself is pretty precious, but the real magic happened when someone replied to her, asking “How’s your racist and homophobic husband?”

And you are not emotionally prepared for her answer.

“My husband is black, but yeah ok sure. Lmao,” Jenelle wrote.

Jenelle. Thinks her husband. Is black.

To be clear, she’s still married to David Eason, she didn’t up and divorce him and marry a new guy since we last checked in on her.

(Though how glorious would it be if she finally admitted to herself that good ol’ Kieffer is her real and true soulmate then ran away to marry him in a jailhouse ceremony, meth lab charges be damned?)

She’s still married to David Eason, so she’s trying to say that David Eason is black.

And not one single solitary soul could figure out what she was even trying to communicate with that.

Luckily, she responded to all the confusion by explaining that he has “less than 1%” black in him, but that he is still black.

It’s almost too painfully stupid to be entertaining, right?


One of her followers asked if she was being serious, and she said “Yes, he has Senegal and North African in him. #FunFact.”

When no one took her word for it and congratulated her on having such a racially diverse family, she took to Instagram to share the “proof,” David’s Ancestry.com test results.

David Eason ancestry

As you can see, David does have less than 1% North African ancestry, as well as 1% Senegalese.

And as Jenelle so deftly points out, David “has African in him, I guess Ensley does too.”

Does she really think that’s how any of this works?

The African parts of David’s Ancestry results are in a category marked “low confidence regions,” meaning that he couldn’t actually have any percentage at all of that in his DNA.

And even if he did, pretty much everyone at this point has at least a small percentage of a different ethnicity in their DNA. David isn’t black because some great-great-great-great-grandparent may have been from somewhere in the world that isn’t Europe.

Also … does Jenelle realize that everyone from Africa isn’t black? Like, is she even capable of understanding that?

Finally, David’s tiny percentage of African DNA that may not even exist in him does not mean that he can’t be racist.

Come on, Jenelle. You’re … well, you’re not exactly better than this, but can you at least pretend sometimes?


Chael Sonnen Says Floyd Mayweather Is ‘Dumb’ & ‘Broke,’ And Is 100% Fighting Again

Chael Sonnen says Floyd Mayweather coming outta retirement is already a done deal … ‘cause he’s a “dumb-dumb” who’s burned through his billion-dollar fortune!! And that ain’t all — Chael is guaran-damn-teeing Floyd’s next fight will…


Jenelle Evans: Will She Be Fired Over Her Dumb Gun Selfie?

As you’ve no doubt heard by now, a school shooting in Parkland, Florida claimed 17 lives earlier this week.

It was the 18th mass shooting of 2018, and the demand for gun control legislation can now be heard be in every region the country and all across the political spectrum.

Needless to say, it wasn’t the ideal time for social media posts that romanticize and glorifying the type of firearms used by the murderer, but apparently, Jenelle Evans didn’t get that memo.

That’s a photo of Jenelle shooting a gun that was posted on David Eason’s Instagram page on the day of the shooting.

You read that right – on the day of a tragic shooting that left the nation reeling, Jenelle and David saw no problem with posting this photo for their millions of social media followers.

Jenelle refused to apologize for the pic, but she later joked on Twitter that it was a case of “bad timing.”

David deleted all the comments on the photo and briefly made it his profile pic, but changed it back when someone – probably Jenelle – told him that’s a really dumb and unnecessarily combative thing to do.

In the hours since, he’s taken to posting anti-gun control memes, which means he’s still triggered, but now he’s pretending his butthurt has something to do with the Constitution.

Jenelle is capable of brief periods of sanity, and it seems she enjoyed one yesterday when she offered her pseudo-apology and talked David down.

But at the end of the day, she’s an unhinged lunatic who shouldn’t be trusted to care for a houseplant, so it comes as no surprise that she’s back to raging away and jeopardizing the only job she’s ever had.

Echoing the sentiments of millions of Americans today, Teen Mom 2 executive producer Morgan J. Freeman tweeted “go f-ck yourself” to a tweet from the president offering prayers and condolences.

In a brazenly stupid act of defiance, Jenelle retweeted Freeman and wrote:

“Well damn Morgan this offends me. Please take it down. Thanks.”

Jenelle deleted that tweet after being promptly roasted by followers who were quick to point out the fact the irony of her having the same sort of snowflake meltdown she’d previously accused her critics of.

But that doesn’t mean Jenelle is backing down from her “people kill people” stance.

Already today, she’s retweeted multiple pro-gun takes on the Parkland shooting, including an official statement from the Gun Owners of America.

So Jenelle is literally sticking to her guns, but it’s interesting that she dialed back her original statement, either in response to backlash from fans – or as a result of stern words from the people who sign her paychecks.

Jenelle might be besties with Farrah Abraham these days, but that doesn’t mean she wants to be unemployment buddies.

Watch Teen Mom 2 online for a reminder of the many ways in which Jenelle is really just the worst.


Sugar Bear to June Shannon: “You Are a Dumb B-tch!”

There will be no more Mr. Nice Guy for Sugar Bear on this week's episode of Mama June: From Not to Hot.

Instead, there will be at least one instance of Mr. I-Can't-Believe-You're-Doing-This-And-You-Totally-Suck-For-It Guy.

In the following clip from this surprise WEtv hit, Sugar Bear tries to call his ex-wife because he says it's his day to at least talk to daughter Alana.

But June is nowhere to be found. The Bear simply gets her voicemail.

Angry that he's getting the run-around on a previously-agreed-upon arrangement, Sugar goes off on Shannon, screaming about how unfair it is for her to keep his child from her father.

“I hate it when you act like a stupid type of women that you are,” yells Sugar Bear, adding:

“I don’t know what the hell you are trying to pull – I knew I couldn’t trust you to keep up your end of the deal, and I know you have a man living in that house!”

Indeed, she actually, somehow does.

Shannon isn't just dating some dude named Geno Doak, but she may very well be living with him, meaning Geno gets to spend a lot more time with Alana than Sugar Bear does.

This fact did not sit well with Sugar Bear's wife on last week's installment of this scripted reality show…

… and it won't sit well with Sugar himself this Friday night, either.

“You’re not gonna get away with this… this is the last time you’re gonna f-ckin’ mess with me! You’re a dumb bitch, June," Sugar Bear says in the clip featured here, concluding loudly:

F-ck you!

We also get glimpses in this video of the family's cat and dog.

Later on, speaking directly to the camera, Sugar says the following:

"I knew June was going to try and keep me away from Alana … she’s trying to sabotage our relationship – it ain’t gonna fly with me, it ain’t gonna happen!”

Mama June and Sugar Bear broke up in 2016 after they failed to salvage their romance on a season of Marriage Boot Camp.

Since then, Shannon has scarcely allowed Sugar Bear see his daughter, alleging her daughter’s suffered “emotional abuse” as a result of her dad and adding that the two can't have a relationship until he “gets help."

Watch this explosive clip below:

Sugar bear goes off on june shannon you are a dumb b tch

Kailyn Lowry: Briana DeJesus Called Me a Dumb B-tch!

Kailyn Lowry and Briana DeJesus aren’t fans of one another.

There are several reasons for this, but the primary cause of their mutual dislike is Javi Marroquin.

Briana dated Javi for several months, and Kail was understandably less than thrilled with the fact that her ex-husband and her rival were romantically involved.

Yes, Briana and Kailyn were feuding before DeJesus began dating Marroquin, but the relationship made the hostility between them that much more intense.

Earlier this month, Javi and Briana broke up, but that doesn’t mean all is well between DeJesus and Lowry.

Yesterday, Javi appeared on Kailyn’s Coffee Convos podcast to discuss the breakup.

Things got off to a rough start, with Javi basically admitting he’d like to get back together with Briana:

“There is a lot we have to discuss and talk about before we make other decisions,” Javi told Kail at the start of the show.

“There is nothing juicy to spill,” he added.

From there, Kailyn accused Javi of becoming a “different person” due to his relationship with Briana:

“That doesn’t mean you lose respect for me because at the end of the day, I’m the one who’s raising your son.”

Javi shot back that he had actually believed Briana and Kailyn would get along, and hoped that they could find common ground.

“Briana isn’t what she portrays on TV,” he insisted.

“She’s different. I’m not going to preach about how good of a person she is.”

“Telling the mother of your child to suck her d-ck and I’m a dumb b-tch doesn’t portray her as a good person,” Kail replied.

Undeterred, Javi continued defending Bri, saying that he wishes DeJesus and Lowry “could just have a conversation.”

We’re thinking they’re a little past that point, Javi.

“I don’t know what my future holds with Bri, but if we do get back together we can all get along, ” Marroquin said.

Not surprisingly, Kail wasn’t having it:

“We will never get along,” Kail stated bluntly.

“You allowed her to disrespect me to my face. She was allowed to tell me to suck her d-ck, and I wasn’t allowed to say anything to her.”

Lowry added:

“Pigs will fly when that girl apologizes to me.”

We think Javi is chasing a pipe dream on this one, but it doesn’t seem like he’ll be giving up the cause anytime soon.

Watch Teen Mom 2 online to remind yourself of just how strongly Kail and Briana dislike one another.


Lala Kent Gives Dating Advice: I’d Rather Be a Bitch Than Dumb!

It’s only been a few days since Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent went public with her married boyfriend, and now she’s offering some dating advice like some sort of relationship expert.

Now, anyone can give advice — you don’t need a degree to have common sense or to tell someone that their boyfriend crossed a line.

But in Lala Kent’s case, the advice that she’s dishing out is … controversial.

So, Lala Kent doesn’t limit her good deeds to stripping down to fight SeaWorld and other aquatic circuses. She also gives out relationship advice.

Taking to Instagram Live, Lala Kent revealed a “f–king crazy” direct message that she’d received from a fan who wanted her input.

“This girl was talking about this guy that she’s pretty into, she’s been seeing him for a while.”

And the girl has a specific reason for talking to Lala for advice.

“There’s quite an age gap, it’s kind of like me and my man, she’s my age, maybe a little older…he’s like in his later 40s.”

Randall Emmett is 46. Lala will turn 28 this year. 

“And they’ve never been official but he was like really cute at the beginning and then he falls off the earth.”

Uh-oh. That’s not a great sign.

“He’s like inconsistent, which as women I think is f–ked up, like don’t be inconsistent.”

It might mean that he’s unsure about this relationship. It might mean that he’s lying to this girl — and maybe to someone else in his life.

Or he might be just using this girl to feel young, and then running off when it starts to feel too much like a relationship.

Whatever the cause, Lala doesn’t like it any more than we do.

“If you’re gonna be inconsistent, women we need to give them the boot, it’s not OK.”

Lala goes on to explain that the girl went to dinner with this older man and that man’s friend before the New Year.

The girl had a few drinks at the bar because she was nervous.

“So she gets a little too drunk at the bar she says, they get into a cab and she starts to take her clothes off in the cab.”

The girl was making certain that the driver couldn’t see her as she did this.

It did not go over well.

“She started taking her pants off and he started reprimanding her and getting upset and made her feel really stupid.”

Our first thought is that this girl, who’s clearly feeling insecure in this relationship enough that she’s anxious before dinner and then wants reassurance that this older man finds her sexy, should dump his ass.

Lala Kent, we’re happy to say, feels the same way.

“I’ll tell you how I would react, first of all my p–sy is no longer yours to have fun with, you’re a f–king asshole.”

That’s good advice.

Here comes the controversy:

“You make me feel dumb, I’m not about that life; you can call me a homewrecker, you can call me a bitch, you can call me whatever you want, when you make me feel dumb, I’m wiping my hands clean.”

To be clear, if a guy’s calling a girl names in a way that she’s not okay with, that’s not any more okay than ridiculing a girl as “stupid.”

What this girl was doing sounds desperate, which suggests to us that this guy is standoffish and cold — maybe even more like this in front of his friend.

That’s no good for a relationship, folks.

If a guy isn’t friendly or is only friendly sometimes, that means that he has his own emotional issues, and it’s not your job to crack through the ice. Move on to a guy who can show you how much he appreciates you.

And if a guy makes you feel dumb — or calls you ugly names or otherwise demeans you outside of consensual bedroom roleplay — dump his ass at the curb. It’s 2018 and awful guys don’t deserve great girlfriends.


Donald Trump Fires Off Dumb Tweets About Global Warming & Vanity Fair, Gets Savagely Roasted

Look, we understand that headline’s not gonna please anyone.

Either you’re a dyed-in-the-wool #MAGA ass and you came here just to deride us as a bunch of libtard cuck-flakes in the comments, or you’re part of the majority of Americans who wishes the president would stop tweeting entirely, in which case, you probably think we didn’t go nearly far enough.

But hey, our New Year’s resolution is to piss off as many people as many people as possible, and we decided to get an early start!

We kid, of course.

Resolving to offend people in 2018 is like resolving to breathe in and out. It’s gonna happen no matter what, and it doesn’t require any active effort.

For evidence of just how easy it is to piss off tens of millions of people these days, you need look no further than the tweets of America’s P-ssy-Grabber-In-Chief, Captain Offensive Pants.

No doubt still clad in a Trump Hotel bathrobe, the president frequently outrages half the planet before he’s even dropped his morning Big Mac deuce.

While our more heathen-y presidents may have taken the holidays off in order to drink Starbucks and slaughter a virgin, the Trump Train kept right on rolling! 

By which we mean the 71-year-old leader of the free world spent the season of peace talking enough trash on social media to shame a recently-dumped middle school girl or a butthurt Star Wars fan.

And who were the Donald’s targets this time around?

Well, there was Vanity Fair, which committed the grievous offense of cracking jokes about a woman Donald once threatened to imprison, and then there was planet Earth, which has apparently pissed Trump off by continuing to exist despite his apocalyptic environmental policies.

First, some context:

In case you haven’t heard, it’s effing cold in the northeast. Like, even by “winter in the northeast” standards.

Someone told this to Donald, and his response was apparently to crack his knuckles and start sticking it to the libs:

“In the East, it could be the COLDEST New Year’s Eve on record. Perhaps we could use a little bit of that good old Global Warming that our Country, but not other countries, was going to pay TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS to protect against. Bundle up!”

Now, hopefully, we don’t have to tell you that’s a dumb thing to say or point out that weather and climate are not the same thing.

A cold day isn’t an indication that the planet is stable anymore than a single hot day is evidence that it’s heating up.

The world’s scientists are concerned due to data collected over several decades which indicates a disturbing trend toward hotter … ya know what? Let’s just move on to less-terrifying idiocy…

As you may have heard, there was controversy this week over a video posted by Vanity Fair, in which several staffers expressed their 100 percent-justified belief that Hillary Clinton should probably step away from the political arena for the foreseeable future.

The situation outraged the president, not because of the content of the clip, but because VF dared to issue an apology for the sake of those who found the video offensive.

“Vanity Fair, which looks like it is on its last legs, is bending over backwards in apologizing for the minor hit they took at Crooked H. Anna Wintour, who was all set to be Amb to Court of St James’s & a big fundraiser for CH, is beside herself in grief & begging for forgiveness!” Trump tweeted.

Never mind that our commander-in-chief is still devoting his days to picking petty fights with various media outlets, Anna Wintour is the editor of Vogue, not Vanity Fair.

Sure, they both star with “V,” but if we Donald off easy on this one, next week he’ll be referring to Justin Trudeau as the prime minister of Cambodia.

Needless to say, Trump was roasted to a crisp over both tweets, but sadly seeing our president get savagely corn-cobbed by the entirety of Twitter is one of the many things we’ve been forced to get used to in 2017.

Cheers to the new year!

*guzzles larce quantity of Dran-O*