If you watched the Vanderpump Rules Season 6 reunion show on Monday, then you bore witness to some instances of genuine emotion – and of course, some truly cringe-inducing melodrama.
Naturally, most of the moments in the latter category belonged to Scheana Marie, who should really 86 the four pounds of fake eyelashes if she’s gonna keep crying nonstop at these things.
Before Jax’s tantrum sent Scheana running from the stage in tears, she welled up over a different conversation.
And if you watched the show all season, you’ll probably have no trouble guessing the single syllable that sent her into an emotional tailspin.
At the mere mention of the word “Rob,” Scheana lapsed into a bittersweet daydream about being ignored while watching some dude mount a flatscreen on the wall.
Though the split wasn’t featured on the show, the world learned right before the Season 6 premiere that Scheana and Rob had broken up.
More specifically – and bluntly – he dumped her.
The reunion was really the first time that Scheana spoke publicly and at length about the split – and many viewers were very surprised by what she had to say.
“I was head over heels in love with [Rob],” she told host Andy Cohen.
“I was for a really long time and it didn’t work out but I’ve loved Rob for 12 years and he broke my f-cking heart. For the first time, that genuinely broke me.”
“The divorce, there were some many things that I was able to justify, we shouldn’t be together for this, this, that, and the other, but Rob genuinely broke my f**king heart.”
There’s a lot to unpack there, but fans mostly focused on two things:
The fact that Scheana claimed to be in love with Rob for 12 years, and the revelation that it was the first time a relationship “broke” her.
We suppose it wouldn’t be so odd to say those things, were it not for the fact that until last year, Scheana was married to Mike Shay.
In other words, she was in love with another guy the whole time and the end of her 4-month relationship with Rob was harder than her freakin’ divorce!
Here’s the thing – we believe her.
Normally, the idea that being dumped by a casual fling could be harder than the end of a marriage would seem absurd, but Scheana is a creature of pure ego.
With Mike, she was in the driver’s seat, and at the time of their split, she seemed to have definitively “won” the breakup.
(Although the revelation that she was pining for another dude the whole time definitely casts that relationship in a whole new light.)
With Rob, however, we saw her a reverse of the reacher/settler dynamic.
Rob was very clearly just not that into Scheana from the start, and despite her desperate efforts to make it work, in the end, she suffered the humiliation of a public dumping.
On social media, both Mike and Rob had their say during the reunion show.
Asked if Scheana ever thinks about anyone other than herself, Mike replied simply, “No.”
For his part, Valletta was warned by a fan that he was “about to get dragged tonight.”
He responded, “I know. That’s why they didn’t invite me to the reunion.”
Interestingly, the reunion revealed that Scheana is single for the first time in a very long time.
For her sake, she might want to stay that way for a while.
Watch Vanderpump Rules online for more shenanigans from the former Scheana Shay.