Queen Elizabeth II to Meghan Markle: You Better Have a Son!

It’s been less than three weeks since Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got married, but the couple isn’t wasting any time when it comes to the business of starting a family.

We’ve known from the start that Harry and Meghan want to have kids ASAP, but now the issue is somewhat complicated by those stodgy Brits and their dodgy rules about inheritance.

You see, when Harry and Meg tied the knot they were granted the titles of Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

This is one of those customs that no one understands but has been observed for since time immemorial regardless.

Those titles were created specifically for Harry and Meghan, and as far we can tell the sole reason is that “Prince and Prince’s Wife” just doesn’t have much of a ring to it.

Anyway, there have been lots of jokes about the pressure on Meghan to give birth to a male heir, but the royal family is such an absurd institution that her kids may actually be punished if they dare to commit the unpardonable offense of lacking ding-dongs.

Yes, People magazine confirmed this week that if Harry and Meghan only have daughters, the girls will not inherit the Sussex title.

Yet again, no one at Buckingham Palace could give you a satisfying explanation for why this is.

But you can bet several people would look at you like a blithering dolt for asking about it.

The news doesn’t come as much of a shock, because wangs are of the utmost importance in the Brit’s peerage system.

But like so much of the news you hear about in 2018, it does make you want to go, “Really?! That’s still going on?”

Of course, rule changes are not unheard of, and it’s anyone’s guess who will be occupying the throne by the time Harry and Meghan’s currently-non-existent kids reach adulthood.

Queen Elizabeth II is 92, so unless she turns out to be a cyborg — as we’ve long suspected — then it will probably be Prince Charles, Prince William, or someone else entirely.

Will means the current system could be tossed out the window entirely.

On a lighter note, QE2 has entirely turned her back on Meg and Harry.

In fact, she gave them a freakin’ country house as a wedding gift this week.

Stuff like that really softens the blow of your kids not being granted some meaningless title.

It’s an absurd conversation for to even be having at this point, as Harry and Meghan might not even have daughters.

And even if they do, Suits: The Next Generation will probably be a massive hit on the USA Network today by then, which means the girls probably won’t be hurting for work.


Elizabeth Sung Dies; Veteran TV Actress Was 63

Elizabeth Sung, a veteran actress whose three-decade career included stints on such small screen classics as The Sopranos and The Young and the Restless, died on Tuesday.

She was only 63 years old.

The Associated Press confirmed this sad news late Friday, but not provide any additional details.

Sung was likely best known to television fans for her popular run on The Young and the Restless.

From 1994 through 1996, she portrayed Luan Violen Abbott, the owner of the Saigon Shack restaurant, on this beloved CBS soap opera.

The character was married to Jack Abbott, played by Peter Bergman, until her passing.

But if this was considered the highlight of Sung’s career, it was merely one stop among a great many.

Sung had over 90 credits on her resume, starting with a 1988 episode of The Equalizer, according to her IMDb page.

She also appeared in the films Tango & Cash (1989), Lethal Weapon 4 (1998), Memoirs of a Geisha (2005), The Joy Luck Club (1993) and House Under Siege (2010), among other films.

Elizabeth Sung on digest

Sung and Burton covered this old edition of Soap Opera Digest.

In the world of television, Sung guest-starred on nearly too many shows to even list.

Among them: episodes of CSI, The Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Bones, NCIS: Los Angeles, Elementary, Shameless, Mike & Molly, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, House, Crossing Jordan, Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders, The Night Shift, Flashforward, Passions, ER, Touched by an Angel and Knots Landing.

Sung was born in Hong Kong.

Multiple outlets have confirmed she was fluent in Cantonese and Mandarin, having earned a BFA in dance from Julliard.

Moreover, Sung was a member of the Alvin Ailey Dance Company and had an MFI in directing from the American Film Institute.


According to The Hollywood Reporter, Sung was a strong supporter of AIDS charities after her older brother died of the disease back in 1985.

Sung is survived by her husband, screenwriter Peter Tulipan.

“SAG-AFTRA is saddened by the loss of soap pioneer, dedicated unionist and #sagaftramember Elizabeth Sung,” SAG-AFTRA said in a statement on Twitter.

A handful of celebrities also took to Twitter to mourn her death, such as actor Carl Weathers, who wrote:

RIP Elizabeth Sung. Your lovliness and talent are unmatched. #BePeace.

And Ming-Na Wen:

I was shocked and sadden ro hear about the passing of Elizabeth Sung. #TheJoyLuckClub sisters/family mourn the loss of this lovely, talented lady.

Too soon, too sudden. My heart goes out to Peter, her family & friends. RIP.

We share these same sentiments.

May Elizabeth Sung rest in peace.


Queen Elizabeth II FINALLY Grants Prince Harry Permission to Marry Meghan Markle!

We’re less than one week away from the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, and sources say the giddy couple is feverishly attending to all the last-minute details.

The royal invitations have been sent out; Meghan’s been fitted for her dress; the town crier is warming up his vocal cords so that he can scream in the faces of unsuspecting peasants who are already receiving real-time updates on their phones.

And of course, Queen Elizabeth II has granted Harry and Meghan permission to get married.

Pretty important step, that last one, which is why some folks find it strange that it seems the Queen just got around to granting her royal consent over the weekend.

On Sunday, Buckingham Palace posted an image of the “Instrument of Consent” – a hand-written document that records “Her Majesty The Queen’s consent to the Marriage of Prince Harry and Ms. Meghan Markle.”

Again, it’s nice that they made it all fancy and official, but it’s a little weird that they waited until one week before the freakin’ wedding to have QE2 sign on the dotted line.

Instrument of Consent

We hate to get all morbid, but as a rule of thumb, if you need a 92-year-old to sign something, it’s best to take care of that ASAP and not wait until the very last second.

That’s the thing with 92-year-olds – you never know when it’ll be their very last second.

Anyway, the fancy drawings in the margins aren’t just the doodles of some bored royal scribe.

Apparently, it’s part of Prince Harry’s Label, which is one of the many official things he was assigned at birth.

But in case you were all set to get pissed off about the lack of ‘Merica representation on a document that you never heard of until just now – fear not.

Meghan’s homeland is reflected on the Instrument of Consent, as well.

The right side of the document is reportedly decorated with a rose – the official flower of the United States – and two golden poppies – the official flower of Meghan’s home state of California.

Yes, apparently the US has an official flower.

Obviously, we would’ve preferred a screaming bald eagle clutching an AR-15 in one talon and the severed head of Osama Bin Laden in the other, but you take what you can get. 

Here’s hoping Meg will represent her country by open-carrying during the ceremony.