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Queen Elizabeth II to Meghan Markle: You Better Have a Son!

It’s been less than three weeks since Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got married, but the couple isn’t wasting any time when it comes to the business of starting a family.

We’ve known from the start that Harry and Meghan want to have kids ASAP, but now the issue is somewhat complicated by those stodgy Brits and their dodgy rules about inheritance.

You see, when Harry and Meg tied the knot they were granted the titles of Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

This is one of those customs that no one understands but has been observed for since time immemorial regardless.

Those titles were created specifically for Harry and Meghan, and as far we can tell the sole reason is that “Prince and Prince’s Wife” just doesn’t have much of a ring to it.

Anyway, there have been lots of jokes about the pressure on Meghan to give birth to a male heir, but the royal family is such an absurd institution that her kids may actually be punished if they dare to commit the unpardonable offense of lacking ding-dongs.

Yes, People magazine confirmed this week that if Harry and Meghan only have daughters, the girls will not inherit the Sussex title.

Yet again, no one at Buckingham Palace could give you a satisfying explanation for why this is.

But you can bet several people would look at you like a blithering dolt for asking about it.

The news doesn’t come as much of a shock, because wangs are of the utmost importance in the Brit’s peerage system.

But like so much of the news you hear about in 2018, it does make you want to go, “Really?! That’s still going on?”

Of course, rule changes are not unheard of, and it’s anyone’s guess who will be occupying the throne by the time Harry and Meghan’s currently-non-existent kids reach adulthood.

Queen Elizabeth II is 92, so unless she turns out to be a cyborg — as we’ve long suspected — then it will probably be Prince Charles, Prince William, or someone else entirely.

Will means the current system could be tossed out the window entirely.

On a lighter note, QE2 has entirely turned her back on Meg and Harry.

In fact, she gave them a freakin’ country house as a wedding gift this week.

Stuff like that really softens the blow of your kids not being granted some meaningless title.

It’s an absurd conversation for to even be having at this point, as Harry and Meghan might not even have daughters.

And even if they do, Suits: The Next Generation will probably be a massive hit on the USA Network today by then, which means the girls probably won’t be hurting for work.

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