Southwest Flight Makes Emergency Landing Due to Non-Consensual Footsie

One of the many stresses of flying is that you don’t know if you’ll be seated beside a normal person, a talker, or maybe some creep masturbating on a Southwest flight.

We hate to refer to this airline incident as non-consensual footsie, but we’re at a loss as to what else to call this creepy assault.

After a man started rubbing his feet upon his neighbor’s and refused to stop, things escalated — and the plane was forced to make an emergency landing.

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Justin Brafford is a 29-year-old man from Texas.

He is now facing charges for simple assault and for intimidating a flight crew on his Southwest flight from Los Angeles to Dallas.

This began with, as we mentioned, non-consensual footsie as he allegedly rubbed his feet against those of the woman beside him.

Unfortunately, this peak horror scenario was only the beginning of the nightmare that forced a Southwest flight to make an emergency landing.

Not satisfied by merely using his feet to make her life a living hell, he also began verbal harassment.

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It sounds like she tried to weather this assault — and let’s be clear, rubbing your foot against someone without their permission is assault.

But when he allegedly warned her “don’t f–k with me,” she was able to persuade a flight attendant to allow her to change seats.

That should have been the end of her story of the worst flight of her life, right?

Well, Brafford then got up and confronted her at her new seat, apparently offended that he didn’t appreciate his unwanted attention.

Flight attendants tried to intervene and persuade him to return to his seat.

They were unsuccessful.

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Brafford is said to have then launched into an expletive-laden rant aimed primarily at the woman who had fled from his assault.

Apparently whatever he was saying was not only foul, but alarming.

(And, to be fair, his erratic behavior — far beyond what you’d expect from a run-of-the-mill creep who thought he could exploit social norms to cop a feel — was also alarming)

The flight crew alerted the pilot, and the plane was forced to divert and make an emergency landing in Albuquerque.

Brafford was then escorted from the plane.

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That whole incident sounds deeply harrowing and seems beyond explanation.

But police say that they know why it happened.

Authorities say that Brafford was high on methamphetamines.

We don’t mean that he was a little wired — reports say that he believed that he was hearing “calls” from God while on the illicit substances.

He had taken the methamphetamines the day before the flight, and he had apparently overdosed on heroin over the weekend.

If you’d planned on pairing that combo of drug experiences before boarding a flight, we’d advise against it.


Brafford is, of course, super in jail.

Our legal system may not make it easy for women to get justice when they are assaulted, but misbehavior on airplanes in a post-9/11 world does not go over well.

He could face as much as 20 years behind bars for his prolonged outburst.

He could also face a fine of as much as $ 250,000.

Messing with a flight crew is, after all, a federal offense.

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We’re not normally in the business of feeling sorry for major, oligopolistic corporations. Or of airlines, for that matter.

But we kind of feel for Southwest here. It sounds to us like they responded in the best way possible, but their name is still all over this story.

Officials at Southwest have affirmed for the bajillionth time that their first priority is the safety and comfort of their passengers.

The flight was then able to continue to Dallas without incident.


Meghan Markle: In Crisis Mode! Planning Emergency Trip Home!

Meghan Markle has had it, folks.

She doesn’t know what to do with herself, almost literally.

In this time of desperate need, anger and confusion – as she gets attacked by her awful father left, right and in between – The Duchess of Sussex can only think place to go…

… home.

According to the latest issue of Life & Style, Markle is planning an emergency trip home to Los Angeles to spend time with her mother, Doria Ragland.

She remains very tight with this parent, even while the other parent speaks to every news outlet he can find about how terrible and ungrateful Meghan is as a daughter.

“She’s at a breaking point. She needs to escape from the craziness,” an insider explains to this tabloid, adding of Prince Harry’s better half:

“Meghan is living in fear of what her father is going to do next.”

Can you blame her for thinking this way?

Thomas Markle has often said that he has no way of contacting his daughter.

His solution, therefore, is to give one disgusting sound bite after another, saying that Markle will “deprive” her future kid of time with the kid’s grandfather, for example…

… and taking full credit for all Markle has become.

“She became the woman that she is today thanks to everything I did for her,” Thomashas said.

“Did I get any recognition for it? Any thanks? She doesn’t even speak to me now. How cold is that?”

Markle, as you might expect, can scarcely handle such attacks any longer.

Writes the Life & Style source:

“Apart from Harry, Doria is the only person Meghan feels she can trust.

“She’s holding a crisis meeting with her mom, who has some insight into her ex-husband’s behavior and is hoping to help Meghan figure out how to handle him.”

At this point, though, let’s be honest:

Who knows how to handle an off-the-rails Thomas Markle?

Thomas has lived a quiet and secluded life in Mexico.

He didn’t attend the Royal Wedding due to heart problems and Markle responded in an understanding manner.

But he’s decided to turn on his child in the months since for some reason, leaving Meghan confounded and heartbroken.

“She’s really struggling to come to terms with the fact that the man she once adored and looked up to has stabbed her in the back,” the insider says, adding that Meghan’s husband supports the trip home:

“Harry and Doria have spoken on the phone about their concerns for Meghan’s well-being.

“Harry agrees that Meghan needs some quality time with her mom.”


Matthew Perry on “Death’s Door” Following Emergency Operation

Matthew Perry is fighting for his life, according to a troubling new report.

The former Friends star “recently underwent surgery in a Los Angeles hospital to repair a gastrointestinal perforation,” his rep has confirmed to multiple outlets.

This statement concludes as follows:

“He is grateful for the concern and asks for continued privacy as he heals.”

For the record, a gastrointestinal perforation takes place when a hole develops in the lining of the throat to rectum area; it can be caused by a multitude of factors — such as Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis and appendicitis.

We got this information from the Mayo Clinic.

But we’ve also gleaned some intel from Radar Online, which is not treating Perry’s condition in a casual manner.

This website claims that Perry may not even survive as a result of the “severe stomach pains” that led to his hospitalization and subsequent surgery this week.

“He was in bad shape, and only recently has shown signs of improvement,” a source tells Radar of Perry. “But he’s still not well.”

Perry had battled substance abuse problems over the years, occasionally speaking to the press and the public about these personal obstacles and hiccups.

Drinking too much, it should be noted here, can contribute to digestive health issues.

“I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in my life and a lot of wonderful accolades,” Perry said three years ago, adding:

“But the best thing about me is that if an alcoholic comes up to me and says, ‘Will you help me stop drinking?’ I will say, ‘Yes. I know how to do that.'”

This same year, Perry opened up a sober-living facility named the Perry House.

He has done all he can to educate folks on alcoholism and to assist others in his same situation.

This is why we hope Radar’s headline, which really does clam that Perry is on “death’s door,” is nothing but click bait-based hyperbole.

The site also alleges that Perry has been on a “downward spiral” since 2016, despite personal claims that he’s been safely on the wagon.

“I had a big problem with pills and alcohol, and I couldn’t stop,” the star told People Magazine in 2013, boasting at the time about his newfound sobriety.

Around this same time, Perry received a Champion of Recovery award from the Office of National Drug Control Policy.

Two years later, after leaving a treatment center called The Phoenix House, Perry told The Hollywood Reporter:

“I’m an award-winning alcoholic. I shouldn’t be getting an award; Phoenix House should be getting an award.

Perry, of course, will forever be known as Chandler Bing from Friends.

But his television resume also includes roles on The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, The Good Wife, Go On and The Odd Couple.

We wish him the very best.