As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have called it quits after two and a half years of marriage.
Based on accounts from those who knew the couple best, Justin broke up with Jen, and the decision was primarily the result of lifestyle differences.
(Justin loved Manhattan; Jen was a lifelong California girl; neither wanted to relocate permanently. Seems like the sort of thing they should’ve worked out before getting hitched, but we digress.)
Anyway, despite – or perhaps because of – the seemingly dull cause of the split, the rumor mill has been running wild with reports that Aniston is planning to get back together with Brad Pitt.
As far as we can tell, those claims are entirely baseless, and of course, the internet is deeply bummed about about it.
Maybe that’s why we’re suddenly hearing rumors about a different sort of rebound hookup:
It’s been almost two years since Pitt and Angelina Jolie broke up, and news about Angie’s love life has been scarce to non-existent,
There are those who think that’s because she was biding her time, Maleficent-style, waiting for a hookup that would devastate her rivals and cement her place as the queen badass of Hollywood.
Okay, maybe no one really thought that, but an anonymous source tells Hollywood Life that Angie has her eyes on Justin.
“Angelina is interested in working with Justin Theroux, she actually put feelers out before he and Jennifer’s split,” the source claims.
“Apparently she’s a big fan of The Leftovers. When Justin and Jennifer were together no one expected it to happen, but now that they’ve split the chances of him saying yes to Angelina are way up.”
Oh, man. The appropriateness of Angie scooping up Jen’s sloppy seconds because she loves The Leftovers is simply too much to bear.
Anyway, the source adds that the interest is mutual, and we may see Jolie and Theroux working together very soon:
“Justin’s a very ambitious guy and his star is on the rise,” says the insider.
“Doing a project with Angelina could really take him to the next level.”
Obviously, the situation is not without potential complications:
“Of course it would really hurt Jennifer, so that may be a deterrent for him, but it’s certainly going to be tempting for him,” the source adds.
Yeah, we suppose the possibility of having one’s genitals fed to a pack of starved hyenas would be a deterrent for anyone.
Nothing against Justin, but we’re hoping it happens just so Jen can drop a sick Bond villain line like, “There will be no … leftovers.”