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Toyota Owner Posts Funniest Used Car Ad EVER on Craigslist

Let's face it:

Used car salesmen are typically known for being a shady lot.

They generally used underhanded and slimy tactics in order to shill for years-old vehicles because, quite simply, who would buy one of these vehicles if the salesman was honest about it?

Well, we're about to find out.

This is because a man in Houston has posted a lengthy ad on Craigslist for his 1999 Toyota Carolla… and it pulls nary a punch.

The brutally honest posting has gone viral because it's downright hilarious and, to other owners of other Toyota Carollas, downright relatable.

Scroll down to see what we mean:

1. This is the Car

This is the car
It actually looks to be in pretty good shape for a nearly 20-year old car, doesn’t it? What can the owner tell us about it?

2. These are 23 Photos of the Car

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Or at least a picture OF those 23 pictures that the man included in his ad.

3. A Corolla Gets the Job Done

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If that job is literally getting you front point A to point B in relative safety, that is.

4. What Features Does It Have?

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Features?!? Features?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? It has four wheels and an engine. Be grateful.

5. Wanna Hear a Story?

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This is it. It has a happy ending, doesn’t it? Thank you, Toyota Carolla.

6. Go Ahead. Try to Break This Car.

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I dare you. I double dare you. Just give it a shot.

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Kylie Jenner Flashes Flat Stomach, Wants You to Forget She Was Ever Pregnant

Kylie Jenner seems to love her daughter.

We’re not about to say otherwise.

But that doesn’t mean the reality star loved being pregnant with her daughter.

In fact, Kylie seems to be going out of her way these days to try and make Instagram followers forget she ever had a human being growing inside of her.

As was the case with sisters Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian before her, Jenner is focused on one thing and one thing only in the weeks after giving birth.

The well-being of little Stormi?

We guess so.

Okay, fine. So Kylie is focused on two things:

  1. The well-being of little Stormi.
  2. Regaining that sleek bikini body that earned her so many fans on the Internet.

This has been made evident again and again, most notably when Kylie shared a throwback bathing suit photo and captioned it “summer goals.”

On Wednesday, meanwhile, Jenner shared a few new pictures of herself on Instagram.

The first, above, features a smirking Kylie giving fans just a quick glimpse of her stomach.

It was shared just two months after she welcomed Stormi into the world, which is both impressive and depressing.

Impressive, because she must have worked hard in order to slim down this quickly.

Depressing, because she and her family care way too much about losing weight, setting an awful example for other young women and new mothers around the world.

We’ve said this many times before.

It’s not worth rehashing the same points over and over.

But even Travis Scott was apparently down with Kylie’s body before she went back into the gym and went on a crazy diet.

An earlier report claimed Scott was all about banging his baby mama long before she shed so many pounds.

Nevertheless: insiders have told People Magazine that the 20-year old wants to be a “really hot young mom.”

These same sources say the Kylie Cosmetics mogul has been “super determined to get back to her pre-pregnancy body.”

That much is obvious, wouldn’t you agree?

In conclusion, this publication writes that fans should expect to see A LOT more skin from Kylie as the weeks and months go on.

Her plan is to “flaunt her progress more and more,” which comes as no surprise to anyone remotely familiar with her family.

And, just to be clear, we don’t fault Kylie for wanting to look good.

We aren’t trying to tell her what to do or how to live.

If she wants to work out and cut down on the calories and feel secure again when she looks in a mirror… hey, go for it! We get it.

We simply object to the way she makes this weight loss goal both so public and seem so important while making it so public.

Not only are there more important things in life, but Kylie seems unaware that most people do not have access to personal chefs or trainers.

They cannot accomplish what she is able to accomplish in such a short period of time.

So maybe she should stop and realize that this flaunting of her progress is just making others feel bad about themselves.

Rant over.

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The Voice Recap: The Coaches Get More Power Than Ever Before!

With the Battle Rounds well and truly out of the way, it was time for the Knockout Rounds to continue to narrow down the contestants. 

A major twist was unleashed that also gifted the coaches with saves, meaning that they could save one of their own contestants after a performance. 

Yes, Season 14 is changing things up, and that’s good for an aging series. 

Former contestants, Jordan Smith, Chloe Kohanski, Chris Blue and Cassadee Pope, returned to assist Team Adam, Team Blake, Team Alicia and Team Kelly, respectively. 

Okay, let’s break down the six Knockouts of the night. 

Team Blake: Kyla Jade singing “You Don’t Own Me” vs. Jaclyn Lovey singing “Put Your Records On.”

Jaclyn kicked this battle for a spot in the competition off, and while it was an okay performance, there was nothing remotely exciting about it.

This was a stark contrast from the way things were for her at the Blind Auditions. This was like a completely different performer, and that’s not a good thing. 

A terrible song choice can destroy all credibility for a performer, and that’s a real shame. 

Kyla upped her game in a way that I didn’t think was possible. Everything about her rendition of the Lesley Gore classic screamed confidence and finesse. 

Winner: Kyla 

Save: N/A

Team Kelly: Kaleb Lee singing “Free” vs. Justin Kilgore singing “Shameless.”

Kaleb turned in a solid performance that solidified why he has made so far into the competition. Like Kyla, he improved significantly from his other performances. 

Then there was Justin, who proved that he does not have the vocal ability to make it all the way to the live shows. It could be argued that The Voice lets too many sub-par performers all the way to the live shows. 

Winner: Kaleb

Save: N/A

Team Adam: Mia Boostrom singing “Wade in the Water” vs. Jackie Foster singing “Bring Me to Life.”

This was a difficult one to watch. Jackie had a lot of great moments singing the Evanescence classic. Like, she knew what was expected of her, and she delivered and then some. 

Mia, however, emerged as the better performer, but it was still a tough call … unlike the previous knockouts that came before her. 

Winner: Mia

Save: Jackie to Team Alicia

Team Blake: Spensha Baker singing “Broken Halos” vs. Austin Giorgio singing “Almost Like Being in Love.” 

This was another close call, and Blake struggled to make a decision about which one to save, so he kept both of them. 

They were difficult to benchmark against each other because of how similar they were performance-wise. 

Winner: Spensha

Save: Blake saved Austin!

Team Alicia: Johnny Bliss singing “Alive” vs. Miya Bass singing “Castle on the Hill.”

Thankfully, this Knockout was easier to see coming. Johnny’s performance was not spectacular, but it was a cut above Miya’s. Maybe it was unfair to put these two together, but it’s all about getting rid of the weaker vocalists at this stage. 

Winner: Johnny Bliss

Save: N/A

Team Adam: Jackie Verna singing “American Honey” vs. Drew Cole singing “Slow Hands.” 

Jackie and Drew are at similar stages of their careers, and their voices are actually quite similar. Both performances were decent, and it was clear that another save was going to be used. 

Winner: Jackie

Save: Adam Saved Drew!

Okay, what did you think of the performances?

Were you happy with who made it further?

The Voice continues tonight on NBC!

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Willie McGinest Says Ndamukong Suh And Donald Are One Of The Greatest Defensive Tandems Ever

Aaron Donald and Ndamukong Suh will be one of the most feared twosomes in the history of professional freakin’ football … former NFL star Willie McGinest tells TMZ Sports. We saw McGinest — a 3x Super Bowl Champ — in L.A. on Tuesday ……

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Amber Portwood: Does She EVER See Her Daughter?!

Amber Portwood … well, let’s be honest, nobody’s going to be giving her any Mother of the Year awards anytime soon.

Things may be different with her second child, but she’s been a parent to Leah for nearly ten years now, and honestly, it hasn’t been great.

If you’ve watched any Teen Mom episode throughout the years, you’ve probably noticed that the woman just doesn’t seem to have any maternal instincts whatsoever.

In the early seasons of the show, we saw Amber scream and fight with Gary in front of baby Leah on several occasions, so much that child protective services got involved at one point.

Some might say she neglected Leah — and remembering all those scenes when she was left alone to cry in a crib without sheets, comforted by only a bottle of Kool-Aid …

We’ve heard more outlandish accusations, we’ll say that much.

Amber has admitted that she was a hardcore drug addict until she went to prison, and when she was released, she focused on her relationship with Matt Baier instead of her relationship with Leah.

For several years now, Gary has had custody, and Amber has really never made a real effort to change that, though that’s probably for the best.

Gary and his wife Kristina have been able to provide a stable, loving environment for Leah, one that it’s hard to imagine Amber could have created herself.

When she does see Leah, things seem tense and awkward — for example, that time when she cried and tried to guilt her for making a Christmas ornament for Gary and not for her.

It’s just a bad situation, and it got worse when this current season of Teen Mom OG began airing, when we saw that she’s barely been spending any time at all with her kid lately.

She could have spent a bunch of quality time with her daughter during her summer vacation last year, but she said she was too depressed to even see her.

However, she wasn’t too depressed to start dating Andrew Glennon and get pregnant!

Look, we could sit here all day and discuss Amber’s shortcomings as a mother, but we’ve got a brand new interview from her to go over, so let’s go ahead and jump into that, OK?

Besides, it all ties together pretty well.

To kick things off, Amber discussed her current custody agreement with Gary, explaining that Leah is “getting older and it’s coming to the point where she kind of decides when she wants to go back and forth and what she wants to do, which is a great thing.”

“It’s easier that way, you know?”

She said that “some weekends she wants to go and spend the night with her friends or do something else,” but “she’s a kid so I can’t really get mad at that.”

“But I do miss her a lot and I do explain to her that, even though she’s young, ‘Mommy still wants to see you more’ and things like that. She understands, but she’s a kid.”

So basically Leah still lives with Gary, and she’s deciding she doesn’t want to spend so much time with Amber?

Sad, but fair.

Next, Amber discussed her current co-parenting relationship with Gary and how he gets along with Andrew — thankfully, she said that “there’s no fighting” between them.

“Andrew just wants me to be happy and when he sees Gary saying certain things and I’m crying or I’m really sad about it … it hurts him and it does make him angry, but he stays out of it as much as he can because it’s not really his place to be in between that,” she explained.

She added that he’s “really protective over me especially now that I’m pregnant,” that he’s “super protective over how I feel, so he doesn’t appreciate the things that [Gary] says about me because he feels like he knows me better because, you know, being with me every day.”

Gary has known Amber for well over a decade and they were together on and off for years, but sure, this guy who creeped his way into her life less than a year ago knows her better.

But hey, what’s all this about Gary making her cry?

One of the things she had trouble with was an earlier episode when Kristina made a remark about adopting Leah, which she said was “ludicrous and absolutely ridiculous.”

“I would understand a comment like that if I was an addict again or if I was doing something in my life that was outrageous,” she admitted. “However, I don’t think falling in love with somebody is something that’s outrageous.”

“People do it all the time, you know. It’s really hurtful that they connected with me not seeing Leah because of my depression to me being with Andrew.”

She added that “it’s hurtful and it also makes me angry to make me think they’re talking behind my back like that as though I’m just a mom who doesn’t care about my child which is absolutely absurd.”

… OK, Amber. OK.

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