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Hey! Prince Harry got married to Meghan Markle on Saturday, May 19!
Perhaps you've heard.
Perhaps you've also read through the extensive coverage ofthe Royal Wedding on The Hollywood Gossip or, for some reason, on other websites around the Internet.
But we're guessing there's one major moment that you may have missed.
And that was arguably the most romantic and important moment of all…
… the moment Meghan and Harry vowed to love each other for all of eternity.
In the following video, we're first treated Karen Gibson and The Kingdom Choir singing an incredible rendition of "Stand By Me."
From there, we're taken to the Royal Exchanging of Vows, as Markle rocks her amazing wedding gown and then she and Harry make certain special promises to each other.
The footage may need to be watched with a box of Kleenex by your side.
"I Meghan, take you, Harry, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward," says Harry to open his vows, adding:
"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow."
And then Markle echoes this sentiment:
I Harry, take you, Meghan, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
Following his marriage, Harry is now the Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton and Baron Kilkeel and will be known around Kensington Palce as His Royal Highness The Duke of Sussex.
Markle, meanwhile, is Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Sussex.
Pretty cool, huh?
But those titles would not be possible without the vows exchanged below.
Watch the moving video now:
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Nacho, nacho man?
More like; nacho, nacho… WHOA, woMAN!
According to official police reports, a Ohio resident named Crystal D. Hotlosz was arrested on Monday because she was hungry and broke and was caught soliciting sex.
In exchange for money.
And also nachos.
Officers are on record as saying they discovered Hotlosz, 36, on the website YoungstownBackpage.com, which she was using to bargain “$ 60 and nachos” to individuals seeking various kinds of sex acts.
Fox 8 Cleveland broke this bizarre piece of news, reporting that Hotlosz was caught by undercover cops in the parking lost of a parking lot of Los Gallos Mexican restaurant…
…. and proceeded to ask them if they wanted sexual favors in exchange for some delicious chips, preferably smothered in cheese and maybe chicken.
We don’t mean to make light of a serious situation, considering Hotlosz is probably in a very bad place in her life.
But the police emphasized in the official report that the alleged prostitute was “very adamant about getting the nachos,” going so far as to ask the arrested officer several times if he had any on hand.
She also inquired about money, just to be clear.
Hotlosz was then arrested and charged with solicitation, possession of criminal tools and promoting prostitution
We don’t know what bail will be set at and we don’t know if she’ll be released any time in the near future.
We assume so. The justice system hopefully has more important things to worry about than a poor woman who needs cash and snacks.
And when Hotlosz does eventually become a free woman once again, we know where she can look up a delicious nachos recipe.
Just follow the above link and enjoy!
Have you ever heard the saying “cheaters never win“?
Of course you have, you live on this planet, you’ve heard things.
But while the saying is true, it’s also true that sometimes, on special occasions, people are able to publicly expose cheaters, and those people do win.
And the people lucky enough to witness it all go down?
Well, friends, we win, too. And we win hard.
Take, for example, the story of a man named Eli. Sit back as we weave this magical tale.
Eli has a friend named Samantha, and Samantha has a boyfriend named Kyle. Or at least she did, before Eli got involved.
In a lovely series of text messages that Eli was kind enough to share on Twitter, he reached out to Kyle and asked him a pointed little question.
“Why were you at Rachel’s house yesterday? Does your girlfriend Samantha know?”
Poor Kyle obviously panicked after reading that gem.
“No. You didn’t tell her did you?…”
Note the question mark and the ellipses. Somebody sure sounds nervous, huh?
But then the magic happens.
“No,” Eli told him. “but I will if you buy me a pizza at Pizza Hut and have it delivered to my house.”
He gave Kylie his address, and told him “The choice is yours.”
“Okay I did it,” Kylie said, and so he did:
But please take note of the clever wording in Eli’s request.
“No,” he said, as in no, he didn’t tell Kyle’s girlfriend that he was at another girl’s house. However …
“But I will if you buy me a pizza.”
Either Kyle was real anxious about being found out or he was never that great at reading comprehension, because obviously Eli told him that if he ordered a pizza and had it delivered to his house, then he’d tell the girlfriend that good ol’ Kyle was being unfaithful.
Here’s the lesson in all this: don’t cheat on your significant other.
Alternate lesson: learn how to read good.