In preparation for hosting a bash at a strip club, Farrah Abraham asked for a vajazzling kit and also some neon panties on top of her appearance fee, because of course she did.
But she's also prepping for the show by getting dermal fillers, which is when they inject stuff under the skin of your face.
And, Farrah being Farrah, she's posted a video, which you can see below. Fair warning: it's not for the faint of heart.
Do you guys know what vajazzling is?
No, it is not the art of playing saxophone through your vagina, but honestly the word "jazz" is right there in the name so that's a great guess.
Vajazzling is a portmanteau of "vagina" and "bedazzle," and refers to adhering crystal jewelry to your (shaved) pubic mound.
You know how sequins can look neat on, like, a prom dress or whatever?
It's like that, except tiny crystals, and they're all scattered around (well, above, mostly) somebody's vulva.
Well, Farrah Abraham is hosting Crazy Horse III's XXXMas Party in Vegas, which is very nearly peak Farrah Abraham.
And she asked for a vajazzling kit in preparation. But that's not all that she's doing to get ready.
In the video that you'll see below, Farrah Abraham is getting dermal filler injections.
She uploaded the video with the caption:
"The best of the best in #lasvegas @flawlessvegas Melanie I so enjoyed my #sculptra & how quick it was! Ladies mention #Farrah for $ 50.00 OFF #LA #lasvegas call in to schedule"
In a normal world, where product endorsements or flagrant self-promotion were more conversational, Farrah would have just tweeted: Melanie did a great job giving me dermal fillers and I'm excited for my Vegas gig.
Instead, she has more hashtags than any one Instagram post could ever need, all in exchange for what we assume must have been a hefty discount (if not making it outright free or paying her) at the face-stabbing clinic she visited.
Wouldn't it be weird if Farrah were fake-fired for doing sex work, only to be actually fired for lashing out at MTV and Viacom in a totally bonkers word salad?
Because she's been doing a lot of that, biting the Teen Mom hand that fed her for most of the last decade.
And she's been doubling down on her sex work, promoting her lingerie products and also
Personally, we don't understand why so many companies are enjoying partnering with her, but then, we don't understand why Farrah masturbating on camera garnered so many views, either.
To be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with sex work. We don't know how Farrah's drama with MTV will ultimately end, but no one should be shamed for doing any form of sex work — least of all that which is legal.
Farrah has a whole host of actual bad qualities, including racist outbursts and using her young daughter's Twitter account to promote porn.
There's plenty to criticize without attacking sex work itself.
As we mentioned, the video itself shows Farrah getting dermal fillers.
And … also like we said, it's really not for the faint of heart.
First of all, it features blood and needles. There are people who pass out in the presence of either.
And second of all … well, you picture somebody's face getting filled and it just makes you squirm. I'm not anti-cosmetic treatments or anything, but it's weird for someone so young to undergo so many.
Still, compared to Farrah sharing her vaginal rejuvenation treatments, a few pokes in the face aren't really a big deal.
If you're up for blood and needles going into Farrah's face, and if you're curious about what dermal fillers are like, this is the video for you: