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Tila Tequila: Paris Hilton Killed My Fiancee & I’m Possessed By Satan

Hey, things got pretty crazy this week, didn't they, America?

It's times like this that we need the genuine batsh-t insanity of someone like Tila Tequila to remind us that things could always be marginally worse.

As some of our older readers may recall, Ms. Tequila was a popular figure on MySpace, which was an arcane rune-based communications system popular among early homonids in the days before 

The site died an ugly, premature death after overdosing on the milliojns of HTML customizations and Fall Out Boy videos everyone crammed into their personal pages, but Tila's notoriety has survived.

The reason for this is that she's hands down the craziest celebrity on the planet.

You're probably asking yourself, how could she be crazier than Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Donald John Trump?

To which we say, believe it or not, Tila wins that contest by a mile.

We could rattle off a decade's worth of bizarre incidents as proof — such as the time she claimed to have evidence that Michelle Obama is secretly a man, or the many times she insisted she's some sort of alien Nazi.

Instead we'll just share this video in which Tila casually explains that she was possessed for several years and Paris Hilton murdered her fiancee.

"So back in 2012 I was in Hollywood and I was in the world of Satan. I was possessed by Satan. Hollywood is a platform built by Satan," Tila tells the camera.

"They kept sending me to doctors to overdose me and kill me."

From there Tila goes on to describe how the death of her fiancee Casey Johnson was the result of a Satanic ritual orchestrated by Paris and Nicki Hilton.

“Paris and Nicky Hilton sacrificed Casey while I was in Texas. All of the demonic chicks like Courtenay Semel, Jasmine Lennard, The Hilton sisters went against me because they were the one who sacrificed her," Tequila says.

"She told me all of their secrets and then they tried to sacrifice me.”

From there, the ladies busted out some Xans and eight balls, because apparently that's customary following a ritual sacrifice.

"I was disgusted," Tila says "So I took two Xanax bars and did two 8 balls of cocaine. Satan had me so on drugs.”

Check out the whole 40-minute (!!!) video for more insanity.

Hopefully, it's the first episode of a new talk show entitlted It's the Tequila Talking!

Tila tequila paris hilton killed my fiancee and im possessed by
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Jacob Roloff: Gushed Over, Praised by Fiancee Isabel Rock

Last month, Jacob Roloff and Isabel Rock announced their wedding date.

Now, Isabel can’t help but gush about the former Little People, Big World star.

Isabel is telling fans how supportive Jacob is — and revealing how he helps her with her art.

Jacob Roloff Helps Isabel With Her Art

“The man behind the resin pieces,” Isabel Rock gushed on social media alongside a glimpse of Jacob helping with her art.

“I couldn’t have done it without his help,” she admits.

Isabel explains: “If you are not familiar with resin, there are so many steps and tricks and measuring.”

“And,” she continues. “You can’t mess any of it up or you’ll ruin the entire piece.”

Isabel then announces: “Jacob always comes through!”

Isabel wasn’t done praising the love of her life.

“He really is the most helpful and supportive fiance,” she gushes.

Her post ends: “I really love him so much!”

Awww, they’re so cute.

And he has been supportive of her in other ways that do not have to do with her art.

Alongside this tender photo, Isabel recently gushed about how Jacob helped her self-image.

“When I first saw this photo,” Isabel writes. “I was horrified at how chubby my cheeks looked.”

“This beautiful picture, with all of its complexities that make it what it is,” she describes.

“And of course,” Isabel laments. “I zeroed in on the most negative thing I could find.”

“My cheeks are one of Jacob’s favorite things about me,” she reveals.

Cute!

“I’ve had them since birth,” Isabel says of her cheeks. “And apparently, they’re never going away.”

She explains how Jacob’s feedback helped her to appreciate the image.

“Now, with some perspective, I see this photograph as one I will cherish for life,” Isabel writes.

“The way he is looking at me,” she admires. “That perfect Iowa sunset.”

She mentions: “The fact that there were so many deer in a meadow behind us and our dogs were in that same meadow playing ball.”

“Life is a lot like this,” Isabel notes.

A huge part of being a celebrity who posts lowkey thinkpieces to Instagram is drawing larger life lessons from individual photos.

“We tend to hone in on the negatives,” Isabel acknowledges. “It is the way we have trained our brains to work since the beginning.”

“We focus on what we don’t like, what we don’t have, what we wish were different,” Isabel explains.

Isabel continues: “Instead of looking at the whole picture and admiring it for all that it is.”

“I’d like you to join me in training our minds to see things differently,” Isabel invites her followers.

When looking at the world, she says, “we don’t have to see it negatively.”

She suggests that they join her in “Practicing gratitude, daily affirmations, changing our thought patterns,”

“All of these things,” Isabel says. “Can shift our perspective.”

She is absolutely right. Sometimes, the key to changing the way that you think is just daily practice.

Isabel points out that rejecting the natural instinct to focus on the negative can make people’s lives better.

She suggests focusing on this “so that when something bad comes along we can still find the good in it.”

“We can still find the light,” Isabel concludes.

She then follows that post with a couple of tags.

“#worldmentalhealthday,” she writes. “#ilovehimsomuch”

Jacob has been publicly supportive of Isabel’s art, but it’s great to see that he gets involved in the process.

His mother, Amy Roloff, has also shown her support by giving Isabel’s gallery showings a boost on social media.

It is heartwarming to see that Jacob also lends emotional support to Isabel when it comes to loving herself.

Heartwarming, but not surprising — they are, after all, engaged.

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Selena Gomez: Pining After Justin Bieber, Wishing SHE Were His Fiancee?!

There have been recent claims that Justin Bieber always knew that Hailey Baldwin was the one, even while he was with Selena Gomez.

So it’s only natural that we’re hearing from Selena’s camp on Justin, Hailey, and their looming nuptials.

According to one source, Selena hopes that the fateful wedding day never arrives.

According to HollywoodLife, a source close to Selena Gomez says that she is hoping that Justin and Hailey never make it to the altar.

The insider claims that “Selena is quietly, secretly hoping and praying that Justin never goes through with his marriage to Hailey.”

The source says that, despite having broken up with the Biebs for what many fans hope will be the final time earlier this year, Selena is waxing nostalgic about her time with him.

“The times Selena was most happy in life were days when she was with Justin,” the source claims.

“And she always thought she would be the one marrying him,” the insider reveals. “Not Hailey.”

Justin and Hailey are engaged, though some very believable reports say that they’re not rushing and are instead waiting until next year.

But this source says that any delay is music to Selena’s ears.

“Selena can’t help but feel like the longer Justin and Hailey stay engaged the less likely they will actually get married,” the source claims.

She and Justin have a long history and, despite their many troubles, she allegedly feels that they’re not done with each other.

“Selena fears a marriage between Justin and Hailey would crush her,” the insider describes.

That said, if you’re waiting for her to rush in like a lovesick fool and ask Justin to take her back … don’t hold your breath.

“Selena would never interfere with Justin’s relationship with Hailey though,” the source clarifies.

“So,” the insider continues. “She is not going to say anything to him.”

Well, that sounds healthy.

“But she also feels that as long as Justin and Hailey do not get married,” the source says. “She stands a better chance at having her own happy ending with Justin.”

It’s sort of odd to hear that Selena is still pining after Justin.

One would imagine that, after their latest reconnection didn’t pan out, she would have realized that they are simply not meant to be.

He may no longer have the same alleged substance issues that he had through the bulk of his relationship with Selena.

But sometimes, as Selena herself no doubt discovered last winter, a person’s individual failings can go deeper than, say, struggles with sobriety.

Does Selena really want to relive that, only to learn the same hard lesson again?

Here is what we are totally willing to believe: that Selena Gomez is hoping and perhaps even praying that Justin and Hailey’s wedding day never arrives.

Why? Because Selena is a good person.

And she wouldn’t want Hailey’s life to be defined by making the same mistake that Selena has made multiple times, but amplified with marriage vows.

It’s very believable that Selena hopes that a younger, lovestruck woman can learn from her mistakes instead of repeating them.

The bit about wishing that she were engaged to Justin … we get the feeling that if that’s what Selena wanted, they’d be engaged.

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