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Florida Man Wearing Crocs Jumps Into Crocodile Exhibit, Gets Bitten

If you have to visit Florida for some reason, St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park should be on your list of sights to see.

But you should visit during normal visiting hours. 

And you definitely shouldn't jump into the crocodile pit like Florida Man did.

Brandon hatfield florida man mugshot

That's right, folks. Florida Man is at it again.

On Tuesday morning, discarded clothes and a floating Croc shoe were found floating in the St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park crocodile pit.

As you can imagine, employees of the St. Augustine alligator farm were alarmed and confused.

The pit is home to three 12-foot Nile crocodiles.

Hopes that the clothes were put there as an ill-conceived prank were soon dashed.

They found blood.

Employees looked at security video, which showed a man break into the farm and jump off of a roof into the crocodile exhibit.

Florida man gator farm break in 04

When employees called the police in concern, police had just received another strange call.

Officers had responded to an incident involving a man wearing only his underwear.

People had seen a strange man crawling "in a concealed manner" while wearing almost nothing and had very correctly called the police.

Not only did surveillance footage confirm that this was the man who had broken into the alligator farm, but it was pretty obvious.

The man's legs and feets had sustained serious injuries, believed to have been caused by crocodiles.

It seems likely that the man's bites, from a crocodile species native to Africa rather than from alligators, would have linked him to the break-in even without the video.

Florida man gator farm break in 01

This particular Florida Man was identified as Brandon Keith Hatfield.

The story that he told to police was nothing short of outlandish.

Hatfield claimed that he had been attacked by an alligator.

He didn't say that it was a wild alligator, but instead claimed that he had encountered an old man who was walking an alligator on a leash.

Hatfield claimed that he was suddenly "surrounded by all these baby alligators."

That bizarre tale would never have explained his injuries under scrutiny.

On top of the evidence that he leapt into the crocodile exhibit, it looks like Hatfield is accused of causing property damage.

He allegedly "damaged numerous exhibits and statues around the complex causing an excess of $ 5,000 in damage."

Jay Ruditis, head of security for alligator farm, verbally narrated the security footage.

"Watch behind him, there’s a croc trying to attack him," Jay says.

"Now it’s dragging him," he narrates. "He will get on the shore. It’s got his foot right now."

"It has a good hold on his leg. It’s kind of pulling him in," he continues. "The croc will flip him, a little death roll in a moment."

Death rolls are how crocodiles disorient, exhaust, and drown their prey. They also use the maneuver to tear off meat from large corpses.

"The croc still has him, so what he does is tries to kick it with his foot," Jay concludes.

Florida man gator farm break in 02

Apparently, Hatfield ended up on the lawn of a neighboring property.

"A little weird to see somebody that early in just boxers," a neighbor remakred. "Going over your wall into your property saying ‘I was held hostage in a pool with gators"

"He says, ‘Yeah, I got bit by alligators.’" the neighbor shares. "Everybody’s looking at him like, ‘OK, he’s got to be on something,'"

Police have acknowledged that "he was possibly high on something"

Hatfield has been charged with Burglary, Criminal Mischief, and Violation of Probation

We can't claim to be shocked to our cores that this guy was on probation.

Florida man gator farm break in 03

We're glad that he survived, but a little surprised that any Florida Man would apparently mistake crocodiles for alligators.

Alligators are opportunistic predators that will absolutely eat a human if given the chance.

But in general, Floridians see them as a nuisance more than anything else. Like, "oh, one got in the pool again."

Nile crocodiles are one of the largest and most dangerous predators on the face of the planet. These things eat lions.

If we had to guess, we would say that Hatfield only escaped because these captive crocs are well fed and had little motivation.

We're glad that the crocodiles are okay. They, we should remember, are the true innocents in this story.

Florida man jumps into st augustine crocodile exhibit gets bitte
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Florida Man Cuts Off Penis of Ex-Girlfriend’s New Boyfriend

The continuing adventures of Florida Man have taken a grim turn.

A vengeful ex-lover went to great lengths to find the new boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend.

He hit the man over the head with a tire iron, carved his initials into the man’s leg, and then cut off the man’s penis.

Justin Foster Mugshot

The Chicago Tribute reports that, on a judge’s orders, Florida man Justin Foster is being held on $ 1 million bond.

Foster is a Tallahassee resident, but he made the trek to Atlanta before flying to Chicago.

In Chicago, he rented a car and drove to Des Plaines.

It was in Des Plaines that the alleged crime went down.

Foster apparently approached the 26-year-old boyfriend of his former lover before the violence began.

Justin Foster Florida Man

According to police, after Foster approached the victim, he struck him over the head with a tire iron.

The victim was then rendered unconscious, but Foster was allegedly just getting started.

He is said to have then carved initials — which initials are unclear, but many have assumed that they were his own — into the victim’s leg.

Foster then allegedly cut off the man’s penis.

Every single part of that is horrifying.

police taking notes time

According to detectives, Foster then tossed the penis over a fence.

The victim was then dragged behind a parked car.

It is there that Foster allegedly left the victim in a growing pool of his own blood.

The victim was found by someone who was passing by.

Emergency services were contacted and he was rushed to the emergency room.

In the mean time, Foster boarded a flight back to Atlanta.

Florida

Foster was arrested on August 27.

He was extradited back to Illinois in September.

He has been charged with attempted murder, which is appropriate since his assault could have easily claimed the victim’s life.

There was more to it than the horrific mutilation.

The victim received permanent brain damage from the tire iron blow to the head.

Banana Slicer Gif

Whacking someone over the head with a heavy object isn’t like what you see on television, folks.

Hitting someone hard enough to knock them out means hitting someone hard enough to damage them or even to kill them.

This is a truly gruesome case on every level.

Based upon what we know, it appears that the sole motive was that the victim was dating Justin Foster’s ex-girlfriend.

This goes above and beyond most of the horror stories about jealous exes that we’ve ever heard.

It sounds like Justin Foster may be the worst incarnation of Florida Man.

For now, anyway. …

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NHL’s Max Pacioretty Sells Purge-Proof Florida Mansion, I’m Moving To Vegas!!

Because of Max Pacioretty’s trade to Vegas … somebody else in Florida won’t have to fear The Purge — ‘cause the NHL superstar just sold his safe-room mansion FOR $ 3.1 MIL!!! Max used to play for the Canadians up in Montreal … and obviously…

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