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Drita D’Avanzo to Farrah Abraham: I’m Gonna Smack the Sh-t Out of You!

Farrah Abraham isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but even she knows not to mess with former mob affiliates who have a history of savagely beating anyone who pisses them off, right?

Wrong!

Farrah did exactly that over the weekend when she took to Instagram and trash talked former Mob Wives star Drtia D'Avanzo, a woman who could probably have her "disappeared" with a single phone call.

What possessed Farrah to start a feud that will likely end with her being dumped in the East River?

That's anybody's guess, but it's hard to imagine that this will end well for Ms. Abraham.

Here's a recap of the wildly entertaining beef between these two former reality stars:

1. Gig Gone Wrong

Farrah drita split
It all started in the trashy feud capital of the world, Atlantic City, where Farrah and Drita were both on the bill to do a meet and greet with casino guests.

2. Ego Monster

Farrah abraham in a gold and black dress
Apparently, Farrah was opposed to the idea of doing a joint appearance, but she took the job because she’s been fired from Teen Mom OG and … well, porn doesn’t pay what it used to.

3. She Always Wanted to Be a Gangster

Drita davanzo photo
In case you’re unfamiliar, D’Avanzo was one of the most short-tempered stars of the VH1 reality hit Mob Wives — which is really saying something, as that cast wasn’t exactly loaded with Zen masters.

4. Should’ve Seen It Coming

Farrah abraham in a bowtie
Naturally, Farrah decided to trash talk Drita after the event — a decision we’re guessing she’ll soon regret.

5. Two-Face Farrah

Farrah abraham on the red carpet
According to witnesses, Farrah seemed to enjoy herself during the appearance. But in an Instagram Live video posted later that same night, she tore Drita to shreds for her allegedly “f–ked up” and “unprofessional” behavior.

6. Farrah Speak

Farrah abraham sass
It’s hard to tell exactly what happened due to Farrah’s … um, unique way with words, but it’s clear that the former Teen Mom OG star was VERY pissed off about her interactions with Drita.

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Farrah Abraham: JJ Abrams Is Gonna Make My Life Story Into a Movie!

Backdoor Star Wars? Super 8 Inches? Felicity, But She’s a Porn Star Instead of a College Student?

Yes, the prospect of a Farrah Abraham-J.J. Abrams collaboration has our minds racing with possibility.

Farrah Abraham-JJ Abrams

Unfortunately, at this point, the project exists only in Farrah’s fevered imagination.

It seems that ever since being fired from Teen Mom OG for her refusal to stop performing in online sex shows, Ms. Abraham has had a lot of time on her hands.

While much of that time has been dedicated to less-than-productive pursuits, such as getting arrested for attacking hotel staff, she’s also been casually toying with the idea of dropping a new Citizen Kane on all our asses.

Yes, Farrah is hoping to adapt her memoir, My Teenage Dream Ended, into a Hollywood feature film.

And she knows just who she wants in charge of the project.

“I’m working on storyboards right now and the screenplay, it’s really a project and a challenge and it’s crazy good,” she recently explained to TooFab.

“I can’t wait, I’m on my first draft right now and it’s going beyond what was said in the book.”

But don’t worry, Farrah isn’t straying too far from the magic that made Teenage Dream the Moby Dick of reality TV memoirs.

“The book is a classic, and that’s where everything stems from, and that’s the main storyline, which we need to stick with,” Farrah says.

“But I also think showing some before and after the show is really what the fans want, so we’re getting that and I can’t wait to show that. It’s going to be very interesting.”

Yes, Farrah just unironically described her memoir as a classic.

And who knows? Maybe in 40 years, schoolchildren will be writing book reports about the various symbolic meanings of the term “backdoor” in Farrah’s masterwork.

Believe it or not, that seems more plausible than Farrah’s plans for the movie version of her book.

You see, Farrah not only thinks this film is getting made, she’s convinced it’s gonna win every Oscar and make a cool few billion at the international box office.

“We’re going to have a real casting director, producers, the best of the best for everything,” she stated.

“Maybe I’ll work with J.J. Abrams, there are some other people on my top list.

“The production companies associated with I, Tonya, I really think they would get this storyline as well. So I can’t wait to see who’s the best fit.”

Actually … comparing herself to Tonya Harding might actually be the least-dumb thing Farrah has ever done.

As for JJ’s involvement — well, can envision that meeting now:

Abrams: So what’s this project all about?

Cigar-Munching Hollywood Type: A reality star who sells plastic molds of her b-hole on the internet. But don’t worry; it’s got a real casting director!

Abrams: Sold!

As for who will play the role of Farrah, it’s tough to predict which direction her ego will take her in on this one.

Obviously, she would relish the attention that would come with playing herself.

But at the same time, the allure of recruiting some A-list Oscar-winner like Jennifer Lawrence might be too strong to resist.

Watch Teen Mom OG online to remind yourself how much of a plum role Farrah would be an actress willing to go full batsh-t.

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Thomas Ravenel to Ashley Jacobs: I’m Gonna Dump You! (Like a Gentleman, Though)

After Southern Charm star Thomas Ravenel was accused of sexual assault by two different women, many fans of the show wondered if girlfriend Ashley Jacobs would soon dump him.

Instead, Ashley has seemed to double down on their relationship.

But a new report says that Thomas is gearing up to dump the woman who remained by his side. Wow.

A source tells RadarOnline that Thomas Ravenel and Ashley Jacobs are ready to split.

The source reports.”The romance between Ashley and Thomas is over.”

The alleged final straw? Ashley appearing at the Southern Charm reunion without Thomas after Bravo disinvited Thomas from attending.

(Odd, because she went there to defend him, but so little about romance and the ensuing breakups is fully rational)

It sounds, however, like this source is reporting that they haven’t actually, officially, broken up just yet.

But it sounds like it’s just a matter of time.

“Thomas is ready to breakup with Ashley,” the source reveals.

Gosh. Does she know yet?

The source simply adds: “The relationship has run its course.”

Well, that sure sounds final.

Reportedly, it was seeing their romance on Southern Charm as it aired that helped him to make up his mind.

Whenever this alleged breakup goes down, it doesn’t sound like it’s going to be very public.

“Thomas is a gentleman,” the source says, though some would say that this characterization has, well, run its course.

“So he’s not going to humiliate her when they break up,” the source explains.

Wait, is not humiliating your significant other the standard for gentlemanly behavior, now? Because most people who aren’t Arie Luyendyk Jr. would qualify.

“But he is at his breaking point,” the source continues. “And ready to end things.”

Hey, that happens sometimes.

And the signs have been there, some argue, for a while.

Thomas Ravenel on Instagram Scroll

Arie used to post a lot more photos of Ashley. He’d upload one after the other to his Instagram.

Now? Well, see for yourself in that gif above how many photos you have to slide through to find that one of the two looking cozy.

You see his ex, his kids, his mom, and even Snoopy the fictional dog before you get to Ashley. In a photo from May 18.

But that might not be a sign that the end of their relationship is nigh, exactly.

It may be that Thomas is simply trying to soften his public image after the accusations of sexual assault.

Fewer photos of him drinking with his girlfriend, more photos of him as a father and family man.

Not a terrible strategy, all things considered.

Now, this whole situation gets a little weirder.

According to RadarOnline‘s insider, Thomas Ravenel has already “told Kathryn that he wants out of the relationship.”

Kathryn Dennis is not just Thomas’ costar and she’s not even merely his ex.

She is the mother of his children.

We’ve all seen Ashley Jacobs’ insane verbal attack on Kathryn on Southern Charm. The cast was appalled at Ashley and at Thomas for not saying anything.

(They did praise Kathryn for keeping cool)

But RadarOnline says that one of the factors that got Thomas to decide to end things with Ashley was watching the season as it aired. Sometimes, seeing yourself in the third person can help make things clear.

Isn’t it kind of weird that he’s doing the dumping, though?

Thomas Ravenel is accused of raping two different women, one of whom was Nanny Dawn, who used to take care of his children.

Charleston police are investigating and so is Bravo, but plenty of women would have distanced themselves from an alleged sexual predator.

Instead, he’s reportedly aiming to break things off.

It’s odd.

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Kim Kardashian: I Knew Kylie Was Gonna Get Knocked Up!

When Kylie Jenner got impregnated by Travis Scott last year, many folks around the Internet were surprised.

She was only 20 years old, after all. She was unmarried. She and Scott had been dating for mere months.

There was no way this development had been planned, right? 

No, Kylie has basically admitted after welcoming daughter Stormi Webster in February, this pregnancy was not planned.

Which doesn’t mean she doesn’t still love her kid a lot, of course.

However, while Jenner hadn’t thought out what might happen if she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend, Kim Kardashian admitted on Monday that she totally predicted her half-sister would be a young mother.

Not this young, mind you, but still…

“We used to say, ‘Season 17, Kylie has a baby,'” Kim joked to The Business of Fashion founder Imran Amed yesterday during a Business of Fashion West panel, adding:

 “And we all looked at each other and [were] like, ‘Oh sh-t! That just happened.'”

Indeed, it really just did.

Kim was joined on stage during this panel discussion by her mother, Kris Jenner.

When asked how long Keeping Up with the Kardashians will run, the famous manager teased:

“It’s going to be here forever!”

She then quipped that Kim’s five-year-old daughter North West is going to get married in a future season.

It was clearly said with tongue firmly planted in cheek, but that’s still an odd thing to crack about, isn’t it? Basically marrying off your grandchild for the sake of future reality show ratings?

Earlier this month, E! released a sneak peek of Season 15, although the network has not yet announced a premiere date.

Here is said sneak peek:

Kris previewed a “major blowout” to come on these new episodes, while Kim hinted that it would center around Kourtney Kardashian.

“When I think about it, I do get really mad,” Kim said of this fight. “It’s basically just like people being disrespectful. It’s the one thing that really gets me.”

She then mysteriously added: “Talk about Kourtney behaving like that.”

Kim and Kris, meanwhile, attended the MTV Movie & TV Awards, which aired on Monday evening and which found them accepting a trophy for Favorite Reality Show.

After all these years, the family has still got it, somehow.

But the family also receives its fair share of backlash.

(Why did you straighten your kid’s hair, Kim?!?)

How does Kim and company deal with all the negativity out there?

“I think that the way my family and I have always dealt with everything is we know we have each other. Nothing else really matters,” the she replied, concluding:

“So at the end of the day, this could all go away and we all have each other and we’re confident in that. So, we’re always going to be who we are.

And if one of us is fighting with, you know, a boyfriend or an ex, or whatever the examples you were giving, I mean, we all know what it is. Like, we all know we support each other and we love each other.

“And a part of all of that craziness has given us the platform to have our brands.”

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Tristan Thompson to Lani Blair: I’m Gonna Need You to Stop Being a Stripper

Back in April, Tristan Thompson was caught cheating on Khloe Kardashian while she was pregnant with his child.

Obviously, it was a painful situation for Khloe and her loved ones involved, but if you ask Tristan, he’s the real victim here.

Thompson took a good deal of flak online in the weeks after news of the scandal broke.

As it turns out, cheating on a pregnant girlfriend isn’t great for one’s public image. Who knew?!

Anyway, instead of admitting fault and vowing to do better, Thompson begged for compassion from the public, because clearly, no one has suffered like he has.

Now that his team’s run in the NBA playoffs has come to an end, Tristan is able to commit himself full-time to repairing his relationship with Khloe.

But instead, he’s devoting himself to repairing his reputation by ushering his side-pieces away from the spotlight.

Lani Blair is a well-known exotic dancer in the D.C. area who participated in a tryst with Tristan while he was in the city with his team.

Lani Blair, Tristan Thompson Split

Obviously, Blair is more in-demand than ever since being exposed as one of Tristan’s cheating partners, and she’s wisely decided to cash in on her sudden fame.’

(Tristan’s the one who’s at fault here, folks. Lani has every right to capitalize on the mess he made.)

But apparently, Thompson not only wants Blair to stop making money off of his name, he wants her to give up her livelihood entirely.

“Lani thinks Tristan is crazy because he asked her to stop dancing for money,” a source close to the situation tells In Touch

“She thinks he’s lost his mind. He told her she’s ruining his imagine by being in the club scene, hosting parties, and letting everyone throw cash on her.”

Understandably, Lani has no interest in granting Tristan’s wish: 

“Lani thinks his request is too possessive, especially since she’s not his main girl,” the insider claims.

“She told him she’s going to continue to do her unless he’s ready to step up and give her the world.”

Wait … not his main girl?!

Does that mean Tristan is still in contact with Lani?

Well, based on her latest comments … probably.

Asked by In Touch if Tristan acknowledged her recent birthday in any way, Lani cryptically replied:

“A lot of people wished me a happy birthday.”

We’re sure Khloe just loved that remark.

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Jazz Jennings Previews Upcoming Surgery: “I Can’t Believe I’m Gonna Have A Vagina!”

Forgive the rather obvious pun, but…

… Jazz Jennings is rather jazzed about her upcoming surgery.

(We’re very sorry, but the terrible play on words was just sitting right there, you know?)

The TLC reality star, who anchors a series titled “I Am Jazz,” used her personal YouTube account late last week to preview a rather giant procedure currently scheduled for June 26.

It will officially, technically, medically turn her from a male to a female.

“I am so looking forward to it. I have been ready for this my entire life,” the transgender 17-year says in her video, speaking, of course, about gender reassignment.

This has been a major theme on her aforementioned series, which debuted in July of 2015.

In this same video, Jennings explains that she has decided to be open about the surgery in hopes that it will educate people both inside and outside of the transgender community.

And she’s very explicit in talking about what it will entail.

“I’m gonna have new genitalia,” she says. “Like penis to vagina! That’s some serious sh-t, y’all! I can’t believe I’m gonna have a vagina!”

Jennings has long been an advocate in the LGBT community.

She has found herself in the headlines over the past few months because Derick Dillard, who appeared on Counting On but who has since been fired by TLC, has often mocked and slammed Jennings for the way she lives her life.

“I pity Jazz, 4 those who take advantage of him in order 2 promote their agenda, including the parents who allow these kinds of decisions 2 be made by a child,” Dillard randomly said last fall, adding at the time:

“It’s sad that ppl would use a juvenile this way. Again, nothing against him, just unfortunate what’s on tv these days.”

Jennings never invited this sort of critique and is certainly not interested in Dillard’s pity.

She’s living her best life, thank you very much!

“What an oxymoron… a ‘reality’ show which follows a non-reality,” Dillard previously said, piling on an entire community of people by adding:

“‘Transgender’ is a myth. Gender is not fluid; it’s ordained by God.”

SIGH.

But, hey, if Jazz can take the high road and basically ignore Dillard throughout this nonsense, so can we.

We’ll just focus on her latest video and the surgery about which she can’t stop talking.

“I have been looking forward [to the surgery] forever,” Jazz told us. “Even at a young age, I knew.”

She also says she’s excited for the procedure – but, as you might expect, also a bit frightened.

“Because I started the [testosterone] blockers so early that I never went through puberty…basically the blockers block testosterone in my body so I don’t develop as a male and get a beard, a mustache, a deep voice,” Jennings says.

“That’s why I’ve been able to be so feminine. Because of that, it caused me to be so suppressed that I didn’t have growth in ‘that’ region.”

In conclusion, Jazz goes over what’s about to happen in pretty fascinating detail, even if it may gross out some folks out there:

“Because there was a lack of tissue [down there] they didn’t have enough material to construct the entire vagina, so they’re using a special procedure where they extract my peritoneal lining.

“It’s regenerative, so it will regrow and what not.

“They take that out laparoscopically through my belly button or whatever. They use that and harvest that and use that to make the vaginal canal.

“It’s better because it looks like real vagina tissue and it feels more like real vagina tissue.”

Science, huh?

Pretty amazing.

We wish Jazz Jennings the best of luck.

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