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Dane Cook Jokes About Gross, Potentially Illegal Relationship with 19-Year Old

It’s not exactly groundbreaking news to state that Dane Cook isn’t funny.

Typically, however, our response to his terrible jokes is to roll our eyes or shake our heads.

When it comes to Cook making quips about his relationship with Kelsi Taylor, though, we need to be restrained from calling the police.

Cook, you see, if 46 yeas old.

Taylor is 19 years old.

The pair went public with their inappropriate relationship in January, at which time Cook referred to Taylor as a “gift.”

This week, meanwhile, in an Instagram Q&A with fans (We know, right? Who knew that Dane Cook had any fans?!?), the so-called comedian responded to a number of inquiries about his unusual romance.

How did they meet, for example?

“At a game night I host at my place,” Cook replied. “We were friends for a while and soon after fell in like with each (other) and then upgraded to love.”

So… they were friends for awhile?

And they actually started dating when Taylor was 18?

Which means Cook was in his early 40s and isn’t just sleeping with a teenager, but he’s sleeping with a teenager who he knew since she was maybe a sophomore in high school?

That is disgusting, borderline illegal and most definitely not a subject to joke about.

But Dane Cook has never met a bad joke he didn’t tell, so he continued…

What advice can Cook give to others in a relationship that involves a large age difference?

The only thing you have to do is plan that your deaths will be somewhat far apart,” he wrote back.

cook joke

Do their families approve of the relationship?

“I love her family and we are pretty close and go to dinner and hang,” Dane responded, adding:

“My family pretty much all died years ago but @_courtneycook_ my sister likes Kelsi a lot.”

What do they like most about each other?

“Kelsi is smart, kind, creative, loyal & honest. As for me I think Kelsi would say I’m tolerable.”

Back in February, in an Instagram caption, Cook noted that Taylor “is warm hearted, smart, sincere & more than anything else we just click.”

He added at this time:

“I have to say I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time in both my career & personal life.”

Kelsi is an aspiring singer who just released her new album, “Fear of Yourself.”

She has also performed background vocals for Grammy nominees such as Demi Lovato and Little Big Town.

Cook, meanwhile, has dated such stars as Jessica Simpson, Nicole Scherzinger, Julianne Hough and Raquel Houghton.

If Taylor makes him happy, that’s great we guess.

And it is conceivable that two people at these stages of their lives could find true love with one another. Once again… we guess.

But there’s also something sketchy and flat-out gross about a grown man sleeping with a teenager. There just is.

Anyone out there disagree?

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Farrah Abraham Releases Graphic Photo of Gross Injury, Is REALLY Starved For Attention

In the months since Farrah Abraham was fired from Teen Mom OG, she's done an impressive job of remaining a fixture in the tabloid headlines.

Of course, the incidents that have kept her in the spotlight are the sort of things that would lead most people to delete their social media accounts out of embarrassment.

Last month, Farrah was arrested after allegedly assaulting a staff member at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Two weeks later she ignited a feud with Mob Wives star Drita D'Avanzo that might eventually get her killed.

But don't worry — Farrah's latest bloodshed is self-inflicted.

And just like those other incidents, she should probably be embarrassed about it — but she's totally not.

1. Guess Who’s Back

Farrah abraham in a gold and black dress
Sure, we all want Farrah to go back to Nebraska and focus on being a real mom to daughter Sophia, but when she does something ridiculous, we just can’t look away.

2. Cam Life

Farrah abraham cam girl
Farrah was fired from Teen Mom OG for her refusal to stop performing in live online sex shows, but the end of her reality TV career hasn’t meant the end of her public life.

3. Violent Times

Farrah abraham on insta
While she may have spent most of her career cashing in on sex, these days, Farrah is appealing to the other part of the Freudian unconscious mind with a series of bizarrely violent incidents.

4. Stay Classy

Farrah abraham in a bowtie
Farrah was recently arrested after drunkenly attacking a male staff member at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Her daughter was in the hotel at the time of the altercation.

5. Farrah vs. Drita

Farrah drita split
Shortly thereafter, Farrah launched a feud with D’Avanzo after the two of them appeared at an event together. Drita has since publicly vowed to slap Farrah in the face.

6. All In a Day’s Work

Farrahb abraham photoshop fail
Like we said, not the sort of track record most people would take pride in, but at least Farrah has found a way to remain relevant. Of course, she may have pushed the envelope too far with her latest stunt, which has really brought her to a new low …

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Lala Kent on Jennifer Lawrence: God, She’s Gross!

Lala Kent is not done with Jennifer Lawrence.

Not by a very long shot.

Earlier this month, the Vanderpump Rules star was stunned to discover that the Academy Awards winner talked some major trash about her during an appearance on Watch What Happens Live.

An unabashed fan of this Bravo series, Lawrence was asked by host Andy Cohen how she felt about certain storylines on the show.

And she laid hard into Kent upon giving her response:

“Lala trying so hard to be nice and then she’s like crying to her mom and then she’s like a total bitch … I’m like, ‘Bitch you’s a cunt.’”

Whoa there, right?!?

That’s a pretty harsh shot fired and we sort of don’t blame Kent for taking exception to it.

Which is exactly what she did on Twitter.

“Did Jennifer Lawrence really call me a ‘c—’ on @bravowwhl? Annnnnd talk about my mama?” wrote the reality star in a since-deleted post that concluded:

“Bitch, you better pray I don’t see you in the streets.

“You’re one of the highest paid actresses on the planet…you claim you are pro-women and you call another woman a c—? You’re gross.”

Again, we sort of don’t blame Kent for having this kind of reaction.

The 27-year old, meanwhile, appeared on an episode of Heather McDonald’s Juicy Scoop podcast that was released yesterday and continued to lay into Lawrence.

“She’s gross,” Kent said to open her rant.

“Not only did she call me the c-word … she went on and on making fun of me and my relationship with my mom …

“I’m watching this like ‘Is this A-list celebrity, who has Oscars, for real?’

“And then when she dropped the c-word I was like ‘Ok, honey, let’s leave the trash to us reality TV personalities, don’t be trying to take my job.”

Kent then honed in on Lawrence’s resume, which most recently includes Mother! and Red Sparrow, two films that won’t exactly be up for any Oscars next year.

“She’s a gross human being and congratulations on two failed films in a row,” the Bravo star added.

“My man is in the movie business, it is now said that she is not as valuable and she has to have another actor or actress to like, get the numbers up.”

We’re pretty sure Kent made that last part up, but whatever.

Kent was on a roll.

“You’re an A-list celebrity who makes more money than God and you’re like saying you support women and you’re calling another women the c-word that you’ve never laid eyes on in person, never had a conversation with me,” she said on the podcast.

“I tried to not let it bug me, but it never feels good to be called that, on top of someone who is that big and grand and A-list and glamorous.

“That kind of hurt my feelings a little bit.”

In conclusion, Kent ran down a number of things about Lawrence with which she has a problem.

“Well, here’s the thing. Now anytime you bring her up, ‘m going to have nothing nice to say about her.

“I’m going to say that her hair sucks, her face is a little too pudgy, like she needs to stop the drinking, you know? I said it, you don’t have to worry.”

Actually, in the real unexpected conclusion, Kent jumped on Twitter to walk back these mean things she said about the woman who fears penises.

See, the podcast was taped on March 6.

But it did not air until March 20.

In between… Kent and Lawrence sat down and hashed out their feud?!?

We find this nearly impossible to believe, but consider what Lala Tweeted yesterday:

lala tweet

“My interview with Juicy Scoop was taped a couple of weeks ago when I still felt hurt and emotional,” she wrote.

“Excuses aside, I wanted to let it be known J.Law and I are all good now.”

So this means we can’t look forward to another round in this unexpected and awesome celebrity fight? Darn.

But perhaps we can look forward to a Lala Kent-Jennifer Lawrence buddy comedy instead.

What? A celebrity gossip site can dream, can’t it?

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Kylie Jenner Gets DIRRTY and Gross for Halloween

Kylie Jenner dressed up as Christina Augilera’s “Dirrty” persona, but the end result made her just look dirty instead of “Dirrty.” 

Check out the simply distressing video: 

If that didn’t clear your palate for the rest of the day, the full body shots probably will. 

Kylie’s straggly-looking hyper-blonde extensions were definitely put to good use, and we did get to see a lot of her banging, possibly-surgicially-enhanced body, but … 

Yuck. 

Think that was bad? 

Well hold onto your own asses, because things just got really awful. 

The following – disturbing – footage also proved that this Jenner girl just cannot dance either. 

Guess we can’t have all of the things all of the time, huh? 

Cringing so hard yet? 

We are, but not any more than the whole entire internet at once, because man, that is a lot of cringing. 

She pulled the look off “well,” and if by “well,” we mean she was only slightly less greasy-looking than Xtina’s original look. 

Yikes. 

Are you sorry you ate yet today? 

Don’t worry, though – boyfriend Tyga was there to protect Kylie’s modesty. 

In another snap, Kylie was shown covering up her ample ass with a jacket, while Tyga protectively held his arm around her. 

Isn’t love just grand? 

Kylie’s been all about showing off her body lately – as per the norm – and in a recent video, she stripped down to nearly nothing and made … lasagna? 

Her Snapchat videos have only gotten more and more bizarre as the months have gone by, and it’s apparent that she’s seeking some pretty hardcore attention. 

In the snap, which featured some serious flesh-flashing and lasagna-making, Kylie’s ass looked much bigger that it did in her Halloween costume.

That? Well, it lent even more credence to the rumors that Kylie’s got some kind of manual pump in her front pocket that blows that ass up to magical proportions. 

Honestly, what even is that? 

And why do we have to be subjected to such mysterious things on a regular basis? 

We know it’s Halloween, and all the things are rife with scariness and ghouls and gobins and whatever else, but we never thought we’d be so afraid of a backside like we are of Kylie’s ass. 

Good God, may the saints or whoever else preserve … our sanity. 

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