Thomas Markle: I Actually Hung Up on Prince Harry!

Like so many people who have followed Thomas Markle’s reign of terror in the media, Meghan Markle has been driven to tears by her idiot dad’s cruel comments.

Now, Daddy Dearest has given yet another embarrassing interview. He claims that this interview will be his last.

In it, he says that Prince Harry gave him a hard time right after his heart attack — and that Thomas then hung up on his son-in-law.

In a new interview with The Daily Mail, 74-year-old Thomas Markle says that his relationship with Prince Harry went downhill after his photo scandal in May.

“Harry told me that I should never go to the press,” Thomas says of an early conversation. “That it would end in tears.”

Thomas describes the advice that Harry gave him about the entertainment news media: “He said, “They will eat you alive.””

Unlike Harry, Thomas had not spent his entire life as one of the most famous people on the planet. He was not prepared to deal with people who need to make headlines and to sell photographs.

“He was right,” Thomas admits.

Back in May, it came to light that Thomas had been posing for paparazzi photos in exchange for a little money — in an effort to improve his image.

When Harry first called to ask him if it was true, he admits that he lied by denying it. After further details came to light, though, he admitted it.

Thomas says that Harry told him: “If you had listened to me this would never have happened.”


“Maybe it would be better for you guys if I was dead,” Thomas recalls having said to his son-in-law. “Then you could pretend to be sad.”

“Then,” Thomas reveals. “I hung up.”

As you may recall, there were adorable paparazzi photos of Thomas.

Some featured him reading a book about Great Britain.

Others featured him getting fitted for a suit.

These were, it turned out, staged.

Thomas had apparently become obsessed with his coverage in the media, and concerned about a paparazzi photo that featured him holding a can of beer.

You know what’s really odd?

For months, Thomas Markle, just like a couple of Meghan’s horrible siblings, has done nothing but make her newly wedded life more stressful by constantly blabbing to any microphone he can find.

But Good Morning Britain read this new, “final” interview with Thomas and the hosts all seemed to feel sorry for the man.

They lamented that Harry and Meghan haven’t visited Meghan’s family, and that Prince Charles didn’t personally call Thomas after walking Meghan down the aisle in his stead.

In the view of those hosts, the Markle’s are “more real,” and the bad behavior that the world has witnessed is a consequence of the royal family not giving them enough support.

In real life, however, individuals are usually responsible for their own misbehavior.

Thomas Markle trashes his daughter at every turn and comes across as a drama queen.

His constant blabbing makes it impossible for Meghan to trust him enough to contact him, and then he whines about not having heard from her.

Meghan Markle’s vile sister Samantha Grant may be the intentionally hurtful and cruel one, but Thomas’ endless stream of nonsense is every bit as harmful to Meghan, no matter his intentions.

If this really does end up being his final interview, well, maybe he really does intend to be a better father from now on.

But even if he keeps his word, it could be a very long time before Meghan or Prince Harry are willing or able to trust him.


Prince Harry and Meghan’s Wedding Bishop Michael Curry Fighting Cancer

Bishop Michael Curry — the man who told Prince Harry and Meghan “love is the way” — is now dealing with a cancer diagnosis. Bishop Curry says he found out a few months ago, during an annual exam, he has prostate cancer … and he’s now decided on…


Prince Harry and Meghan’s Wedding Bishop Michael Curry Fighting Cancer

Bishop Michael Curry — the man who told Prince Harry and Meghan “love is the way” — is now dealing with a cancer diagnosis. Bishop Curry says he found out a few months ago, during an annual exam, he has prostate cancer … and he’s now decided on…


Meghan Markle & Prince Harry Plan US Tour: Will They Visit Her Family?

Back in May, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got married, and her family has spent the months since reminding us how awful they are and what a miracle it is that she grew up to be a functional human, much less a duchess.

In case you’ve remained blissfully unaware of the existence of Meg’s father, sister, and brother, believe us when they say they’re the absolute worst.

Here’s a brief recap of the past week in case you’re unwilling to take our word for it.

(You’re so untrusting, hypothetical reader. Gawd!)

First, we learned that Meg’s dad, Thomas Markle enjoys humiliating his daughter in inappropriately personal interviews.

But soon after, we learned Tom Sr. can’t hold a candle to his eldest offspring in the malicious insanity department.

First, the almost impressively-bonkers Samantha Markle tweeted that it will be Meghan’s fault when her father dies.

Next, the equally batsh-t Thomas Markle Jr. theorized that the queen and company are turning Meghan into a royal zombie.

Despite the fact that these people call the US of A their home, Meghan and Harry will soon deign to set foot on the same soil with a tour of America.

Yes, according to US Weekly, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will soon take their first trip to her homeland as a married couple.

“They are so excited to head to the U.S.,” reveals a palace insider.

“Meghan is looking forward to introducing Harry to everything she loves about the U.S.”

As for the itinerary, the source says, “They are thinking New York, Washington, D.C., and California,” adding:

“They’re working to finalize locations and venues.” 

As you may have noticed, there’s no mention of any plans to visit the various monsters of the Markle family.

So what is the goal of the trip (other than providing Harry an opportunity to visit the set of Suits)?

Well, apparently the newlyweds have an ambitious agenda in mind:

“Meghan and Harry want to solidify ties between the U.K. and the U.S.,” continues the source.

“They want to highlight and foster these relationships.”

Um … excuse us, but we think our big apricot baby president can handle foreign relations on his own, thankyouverymuch.

Did you not see him obliviously speed walk in front of the 92-year-old queen like she was a Midtown panhandler?

It was the ultimate cuck-trampling alpha move.

It was a gesture that says to the world, “Look out! I like my steaks well-done and brown children in cages!”

Don John is out here throwing Starbursts at world leaders like they’re frightened children on Halloween and he’s the boogeyman of the planet.

In conclusion, please save us, Harry and Meghan.

We’re not all as bad as the Markles.


Meghan Markle Attempts to Break Royal Protocol, Gets Shut Down By Prince Harry

Being royalty may sound like a blast — in fact, as far as fantasies go, it’s up there with winning the lotto and showing up to your high school reunion the exact same size as when you graduated.

But the reality is, those fancy titles come with a whole list of rules that must be followed at all times — and for the rest of your life.

It’s a sad fact of palace life that Harry has known about since birth and that Meghan Markle is just now finding out about.

Harry and Meghan have been married for about six weeks now, but it seems she still has a lot to learn about life in the Windsor court.

We’re sure Harry and others tried to prepare Meghan for the many strictures of royal protocol, but that’s like trying to prepare a college kid for the real world.

You just don’t know until you’re really in it.

Anyway, Meghan is a new Duchess, but she’s also a new wife.

And it seems that the required formality of the former occasionally comes into conflict with the romantic giddiness of the latter:

As you can see, it looks as though Meg makes a move toward holding Harry’s hand here.

And he shuts down the maneuver with the speed and agility of a born athlete.

If Harry hadn’t been born a prince, he could’ve played quidditch, or whatever the hell they do in England.

We’re sure Harry meant no harm in refusing to take Meg’s hand, but such a public rebuke had to sting a little.

It’s not hard to see why Meghan may have thought it would be okay to hold Harry’s hand at a royal engagement.

In fact, those no written rule against it.

“The Queen rarely holds hands with her husband in public and this seems to have set an unwritten precedent for the other royals,” Body language expert Robin Kermode tells The Daily Mail.

Kermode adds that Harry may have simply been taking a cue from his older brother, saying:

“It is very clear that William and Kate are emotionally close, however, they do not seem to feel the need to prove their love – particularly when on official state business.” 

We guess it’s just one of those things you learn with time.

To extend out earlier college/real world metaphor, there’s no law against getting hammered on two-for-one Tuesdays when you have work in the morning, but you quickly learn that it’s not the best idea.

These days, Meg is like a 22-year-old intern retching into her wastebasket and giving closer consideration to the possibility of grad school.

You know, we may have just taken that analogy a step too far.

As with royal PDA, we didn’t know where the line was until we crossed it!


Meghan Markle and Prince Harry: Expecting a Boy AND a Girl?!

After last month’s royal wedding, reports came out that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry were trying to make a royal baby ASAP.

They returned from their royal honeymoon just weeks ago, but a report says that there’s already good news.

Not only is Meghan reportedly pregnant, but she is allegedly carrying faternal twins: a boy and a girl!

OK! magazine ran a cover story with the headline: “Meghan’s Twins Announcement: It’s A Boy & A Girl!”

Wow! Fraternal twins are always exciting in celebrity news. And royal twins? That would be so welcome.

According to OK!, their source dishes that Meghan is “already expecting Prince Harry’s offspring.”

It sounds like they got right to work after their wedding.

Per the insider, Meghan “found out they were pregnant as soon as they returned from their private honeymoon to East Africa.”

Obviously, this royal couple is described as being “so thrilled.”

In fact, the report claims that Meghan and Harry have “already started spilling the beans” to members of the royal family.

The insider says that they’ve already gushed to Kate, William, Charles, Camilla, and “even the queen.”

“They didn’t expect it to happen so soon,” the source reports. “And they were all the more giddy to learn they were having two — one a boy, the other a girl.”

OK!’s cover even includes a quote, reading: “We’ll raise our babies in America!”


That’s not a direct quote, of course.

But the insider claims that Harry is “willing to go the extra mile to make motherhood everything Meghan dreamed it would be — even if it means raising their children in America.”

But the ever-vigilant folks over at Gossip Cop are more than prepared to shoot down this story.

The most outlandish part of this story, which they note is only sourced from unnamed insiders, is that the “palace confirms” it, as there has been no confirmation or announcement of anything of the sort.

A close runner-up in absurdity, they report, is the suggestion that Harry and Meghan are planning to raise these new children in the U.S.

See, Meghan has to obtain British citizenship.

One of the requirements is that she not spend more than 270 days in any given year outside of the UK during the three years before she applies.

Which means that raising her kids across the pond in the United States seems to be out of the question.

There’s more, because  … how do they already know that it’s a boy and a girl?

We would point out that Harry and Meghan got married on May 19. That is just barely a month ago.

In fact, this royal couple delayed their actual honeymoon — which was just a few weeks ago.

That is certainly enough time to know if she is pregnant. That can be determined as early as two weeks following conception.

Ramzi’s Reading, the method of using an ultrasound to determine what genitals a fetus is developing and thereby guess the gender very early in a pregnancy, requires six weeks.

Unless Meghan and Harry’s honeymoon in East Africa took place in some sort of time dilation field, we can’t imagine that they could have already used this method, even if the new Duchess really did conceive fraternal twins.

If she became pregnant before the wedding — something that we imagine that she and Harry took steps to avoid, to avoid a royal scandal — we suppose that she might have had time to find out.

But wouldn’t they be working hard to keep it under wraps so that they can fudge the timeline and appease the stuffy people who don’t like Meghan to begin with?

Additionally, Gossip Cop says that their contacts with Kensington Palace have made it clear that Meghan is not yet pregnant, despite multiple outlets eager to claim that this is the case.

In fact, when they contacted the Palace a few weeks ago, the person to whom they spoke about a pregnancy rumor’s response was mirthful laughter.

But you know what?

As eager as we all are for more royal babies, let’s not get greedy. Kate just gave birth a couple of months ago. Sometimes, you need to spread out your happy stories.

All good things to those who wait, folks.

Well … maybe not fraternal twins. But cute babies will come along in their own time.

In the mean time, let’s all be happy for Meghan’s new life.


Thomas Markle says Prince Harry Said to Give Trump a Chance in Revealing Interview

Prince Harry wanted his future father-in-law to give Donald Trump a chance … so claims Meghan Markle’s father. Thomas Markle gave a wide-ranging interview on “Good Morning Britain” and revealed Harry once tried talking him off…


Meghan Markle Finally Speaks on Married Life, Makes Bold Statement About Prince Harry

Meghan Markle has made multiple appearances since becoming the Duchess of Sussex.

She’s even made her debut on the balcony of Buckingham Palace and has even established herself in British society to such an extent that she’s receiving backlash for her fashion choices.

So, yes, we have seen Markle ever since her monumental wedding to Prince Harry back on May 19.

But we haven’t really heard from Markle since this she officially became part of the Royal Family.

Not until now at least.

On Thursday afternoon, Markle enjoyed a walkabout in Chester, England, joining Queen Elizabeth II for her first solo engagement with the beloved monarch.

She carried herself very well, as you might expect, even prompting a number of smiles and laughs from the typically-stoic queen.

While speaking with residents gathered along the sidewalk, Markle also addressed her life as a newlywed, specifically giving folks her take on her very famous and handsome husband.

According to press on the scene, the new Duchess of Sussex referred Prince Harry as “best husband ever,” saying simply of being his wife:

“It’s wonderful.”

It is important to remember, of course, that Markle was once married to Trevor Engelson.

She split from him in 2013, but she actually does have a husband to whom she can compare Harry, making the above remark carry more weight.

Last weekend, the married twosome re-emerged in public together for the first time in a few weeks to join the queen at the annual Trooping the Colour ceremony.

As mentioned previously, this event marked Markle’s debut on the Buckingham Palace balcony.

We’ve since learned that Markle and Harry had been away from the spotlight because they found time to jet off to Africa for their honeymoon.

An insider has confirmed to E! News that the Royal Couple traveled into East Africa, to be accurate, and also visited more than two nations, where their activities included safaris and outdoor adventures, along with much-deserved rest and relaxation in the sun.

(We’re also guessing they had a lot of sex.)

“It was the perfect break and blend of their passions,” this E! source says. “Restorative and the perfect holiday before starting a very busy second half of 2018.”

Busy because Harry and Meghan will be making many public appearances?

Yes, we’re certain this is true.

But also busy because they’ll be preparing to be parents?

Indeed, questions about just when Markle will get pregnant have already started to circulate around the Internet.

We’re not about to add any pressure to the lives of these global stars, however. They only just got married!

We’ll just wish them all the best for a happy and healthy future and ask that they alert The Hollywood Gossip to any baby news prior to any other entertainment/gossip outlet.

We’d really appreciate it.