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Jim Bob Duggar: Ladies, Here’s How to Keep Your Husband Happy

For most people, Jim Bob Duggar is up there with O.J. Simpson on the list of people who are least qualified to dole out relationship advice.

But some folks look at old JBD as a romantic role model.

After all, if your goal is to sire a small army and then make a bunch of weirdly strict rules governing how they're allowed to use their own genitals, the Duggar patriarch is your man.

Jim Bob and Michelle celebrated another wedding anniversary this week, and they decided to flip the script by giving a gift to fans in the form of preachy marital advice.

So put on your tapered jeans or your floor-length skirt and allow Jim Bob to school you in the ways of romance:

1. Laying Down the Law

Michelle duggar and jim bob duggar
Jim Bob began his latest sermon by listing the seven things that every man needs from his wife. Somehow, “crimped fright-wig hair” didn’t make the list.

2. A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive

Jim bob and michelle duggar divorce photo
We guess this one is self-explanatory. Unfortunately, Jim Bob never taught his sons the importance of being loyal and supportive, right, Josh Duggar?

3. A man needs a wife who honors his leadership

Jim bob duggar and michelle duggar on vacation
As for this one … well, it’s anyone’s guess what the hell this means. All we know is that it sounds super cult-y and the Duggars love them a good cult mentality.

4. A man needs a wife who develops inward and outward beauty.

Michelle duggar cheerleader photo
We suppose this one was inevitable. Ladies, Jim Bob wants you to stay hot for your men. And remember, there’s no plastic surgery for inner beauty.

5. A man needs a wife who will make appeals, not demands.

Michelle jim bob baby
As in, she appeals to you to stop issuing so many freakin’ demands. Like there aren’t enough rules for the Duggars to follow already.

6. A man needs a wife who understands his need for time alone with God

Jim bob and michelle duggar kiss
“God” is a versatile term here. It can mean the monotheistic deity of the Abrahamic religions, or the stack of Playboys you keep in the shed.

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Jenelle Evans to MTV: Here’s My List of INSANE Demands!

Filming for the ninth season of Teen Mom 2 is currently underway, and thus far, Jenelle Evans has not participated.

As you're probably aware, Jenelle isn't on the greatest terms with the network that made her famous.

It doesn't help that MTV fired David Eason from the show, but Jenelle's gripes go well beyond concerns about her unemployed husband.

For one thing, it seems Evans' recent road rage incident has led producers to implement some new safety policies — and Jenelle is refusing to abide by the new rules.

The Ashley's Reality Roundup has obtained a full list of Jenelle's demands, and they're every bit as bonkers as you would expect:

1. On Strike

Jenelle evans eye roll
Yes, Jenelle is officially holding out. And it may be quite some time before MTV agrees to meet all of her demands.

2. Hurricane Season

Jenelle evans in glasses
Of course, Jenelle didn’t earn the nickname “the Carolina Hurricane” simply because she kinda blows. No, her temper is notorious, and it seems MTV execs are now experiencing Evans’ full wrath.

3. The Drama Queen

Jenelle raging on the road
Jenelle may be a pain to work with, but she’s so good for ratings that producers are dying to bring her back. “They are moving on with the show without her, but they really want her to sign on,” The Ashley’s source tells her.

4. The Negotiator

Red white and jenelle
“They have been negotiating back and forth for weeks to try to come to terms that both the network and Jenelle are happy with,” says the insider.

5. Eason Is the Reason

David eason allergic to shirts
At the center of the tense negotiations is Jenelle’s volatile husband David Eason.

6. What to Do About Dave?

Jenelle evans and david eason on july 4
Eason was fired from the show late last year, but it seems there’s still some debate about how to proceed with Jenelle, while simultaneously keeping Eason off camera.

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Kim Kardashian Spent $10,000 on Fake Testicles for Her Dog; Here’s Why

Kim Kardashian may not be able to keep Kanye from blaming black people for slavery, but there’s still one man in her life she can control.

That man is her dog, Rocky, whom she had neutered, as any responsible pet owner would do.

Strangely, she has reportedly purchased fake testicles for him … for a whopping $ 10,000.

According to The New York Times, Kim Kardashian has spent $ 10,000 to purchase prosthetic testicles for her dog, Rocky.

Allegedly, she purchased the Neuticles and had them implanted because she wanted to help Rocky’s self-esteem.

Way back in the simpler times of 2012, Kim Kardashian told The Independent that she “doesn’t like big balls on dogs, or anything else.”

That’s sort of a weird comment in general. Some people are uncomfortable with the sight of their dog’s genitalia, which is a perfectly fine hang-up to have.

It’s the “anything else” line that’s weirder for her to include. Barring inconvenience during a couple of sex acts, who cares about testicle size?

Whatever. Maybe she was trying to be funny. It was 2012.

Regardless, people assume that she purchased Neuticles that were smaller than the originals.

Gregg Miller is the creator of Neuticles, and he does not mince words when advocating for people to purchase his very expensive product.

“Some have their dog turned into a eunuch because they don’t care,” Miller says, according to The Daily Mail.

First of all, who says eunuch unless they’re talking about Ancient Rome or Game of Thrones? Neutered is a perfectly good word, dude.

Second of all, you neuter your dog because you care very much. Responsible humans neuter their dogs.

“But there’s a certain segment of pet owners,” Miller says. “That do care and that’s where Neuticles come in.”

Miller sure has some opinions, folks.

Kim, as you may recall, got Rocky with then-boyfriend Reggie Bush way, way back in 2010.

“Rocky is most like me, his mommy,” Kim said at the time. “He’s really cool and calm, and goes with the flow.”

Kim is not really known for being a dog person, and with the exception of photoshoots and a few pomeranian photos from last year, you’re just not going to see dogs show up on her Instagram. It’s weird.

At the time, Kim revealed that she got into a bit of trouble with Kourtney over Rocky, but it was nothing like Kim and Kourtney’s recent klashes.

“Mason hasn’t really been around dogs that much,” Kim said. “Rocky was licking Mason in the face, and Kourtney was mad at me.”

That’s a weird thing to be mad about.

“I was like, “No, they need to meet!” It was really funny,” Kim described. “And Rocky did calm down after a little bit.”

As we mentioned, Kim is sort of weird about pets.

In fact, she has plainly stated that she forgot what became of various pets that have been gifted to her and her sisters over the years.

We’re talking about childhood pets. And no, not sea monkeys.

If it weren’t for the fact that Kim is clearly a good mother, we might worry that she’s some sort of unloving monster. Because, seriously, who does that?

Kim also doesn’t post many pet photos to Instagram. She’s posted more explanations of a strange mark in the marble of a hotel room in the past year than she has posted photos of Rocky.

Kylie, in the mean time, has made it clear on social media that she is obsessed with her dogs. Which is much, much more normal.

But it seems very clear that Kim cares about Rocky if she’s dropping what to mere mortals would be a sizable down payment on a car to give him fake testicles to help his self-esteem.

Some people just don’t show their love on social media.

Especially when they are celebrities trying to pick and choose what fits their brand.

For Kylie, who was until late last year, a teenager, showing constant dog photos and videos did zero harm to her absolute juggernaut of a brand.

Kim caters to a different, older crowd, and we’re not going to second guess the judgment of the woman who all but invented branding.

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Lamar Odom: Here’s the REAL REASON Khloe Kardashian Divorced Me!

With all the recent talk of Tristan Thompson cheating on Khloe Kardashian, it’s easy to forget that this isn’t the first time Khloe has chosen poorly while drafting from the ranks of the NBA.

Yes, before she was mother to baby True, Khloe was Mrs. Lamar Odom.

And if you’ll recall that relationship wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, either.

Lamar was also unfaithful to Khloe, but the consensus has always been that what really drove the couple apart was Odom’s drug use.

His substance abuse was so severe that it eventually left Lamar comatose and fighting for his life in a Los Angeles hospital.

Khloe stood by his side as he recovered, which is futher evidence that she never stopped loving Lamar, but was forced to end their marriage simply because she couldn’t stand by and watch him destroy himself.

Or at least that’s what the Kris Jenner publicity machine has led us to believe!

Lamar has a memoir coming out next month, and today, the former NBA star spoke with US Weekly about the book:

“I”m very excited to work with BenBella Books, Inc. to release my very first book,” Odom said.

“My fans have always been the best and I really wanted to release this book to give you all a chance to get to know Lamar Odom and my real story, directly from me.”

He added:

“I hope to [be] an inspiration to many that you can overcome adversity and challenge no matter where you fall from.”

Pretty generic, boilerplate stuff, to be sure.

Lamar probably had a PR rep feeding him lines through an earpiece for that part of the interview.

Later on, however, things got mildly interesting:

According to Us, Lamar stated that the book would reveal “what led to the end” of his marriage to Khloe.

Normally, we’d say he’s just trying to move some units, but we all know the public version of the Kardashians’ personal lives is never the real story.

Maybe Lamar really does have some bombshell news that will make him seem like the sympathetic party here.

Of course, if he’s planning on engaging in any Khloe-bashing, his timing couldn’t be worse.

Generally, people aren’t fond of ganging up on new moms who just got cheated on by their partners.

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