Hillary Clinton to Donald Trump: Keep Kissing Putin’s Ass, Traitor!

If you were anywhere near social media yesterday, you may have noticed that the entire internet briefly set aside cat videos and celebrity butts in order to briefly focus on something slightly more important — namely, a US president just casually committing treason on live TV.

Yes, in case you somehow haven’t heard, the passionate bromance of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin continued yesterday, and it was different from all those other times an American president sang the praises of a hostile foreign dictator who was standing right next to him, in that it actually happened in real life and wasn’t part of some terrifying Orwellian nightmare.

Obviously, the hot takes were everywhere on social media yesterday, with just about everyone roasting poor Donnie to a crisp for essentially getting dominated by a powerful Russian on TV in what can only be described as a reverse-Rocky IV.

Even prominent members of the GOP spoke out against Trump’s embarrassing display of supplication.

Of course, if you’re wondering if any of them will do anything about it by, say, running against Trump in the 2020 primaries, the answer remains “hell no,” because ultimately, ceding control of our country to a corrupt superpower is a small price to pay in exchange for corporate tax cuts.

No, the task of usurping Donnie Despot will once again fall to the Dems, who will again be forced to rely upon a much smaller arsenal of weapons than their opponents.

While the Trump campaign will continue to enjoy the support of state TV and an army of Russian bots, whoever runs against the president will be forced to rely on old-fashioned tools such as “words” and “the truth.”

Obviously, those instruments didn’t prove very reliable for Hillary Clinton in 2016, but that hasn’t stopped the rightful president from continuing to take shots at the Ruskie-installed puppet that currently occupies the White House:

“Great World Cup. Question for President Trump as he meets Putin: Do you know which team you play for?” Clinton tweeted when the soccer tournament wrapped up on Sunday.

She followed that up yesterday with a succinct yet potent burn:

“Well, now we know,” Clinton tweeted.

And if you think Clinton is exaggerating, you should really go back and watch that press conference again.

Trump basically had cartoon hearts orbiting that fleshy tube he calls a head the entire time.

Of course, what’s really troublesome about the Helsinki summit is not what was said on camera, but what may have transpired behind closed doors.

But if you’re finding that thought too horrible to contemplate today, you may want to focus instead on the moment when Trump threw a soccer ball at his wife.

You know it was a weird-ass press conference when that instant of hilariously unathletic awkwardness doesn’t even crack the top five on the list of weirdest sh-t that happened.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re gonna try and find out if we’ll need to buy new computers once the takeover is complete, or if there’s some sort of keyboard command for all those backward Ks and Rs in the Russian alphabet.


Hillary Clinton Would’ve Been Drunkest President in Decades, New Book Claims

You know how sometimes you have a rough week at work, so on Firday, you decide to down a few adult beverages to take the sting out of yout latest misfortunes and failures?

Multiply that feeling by 40 bajillion and imagine that instead of accidentally hitting “reply all,” you missed out on the chance to make world history and have your face on money.

Now you have an idea of how Hillary Clinton feels.

To be fair, Clinton seems to have dealt with loss of the 2016 presidential election fairly well, all things considered.

But while she’s maintained a brave face publicly, we’re sure the defeat was traumatic, and many never fully recover from such a crushing blow.

Perhaps that’s why supporters, critics, and media figures just can’t help but let their imaginations run wild when it comes to the methods that Hillary might be using to cope with the devastation of losing the presidency to a guy who’s previous foray into politics consisted entirely of losing what was left of his mind over a freakin’ birth certificate.

Throughout the campaign, Team Trump made much of Clinton’s alleged health issues, with some far-right pundits even going so far as to suggest the 70-year-old grandmother is a raging alcoholic.

Now, a new book by New York Times reporter Amy Chozick reveals that that’s far from the case – but concedes that Clinton doesn’t enjoy her cocktails more than most contemporary political figures.

In an excerpt from Chasing Hillary published today by Radar Online, Chozick claims that if elected, Hillary would’ve been “the booziest president since FDR.”

“Beset by stereotypes that she is a hall-monitor type, buttoned up and bookish, churchgoing and dutiful, but not much fun at a keg party, in reality, Mrs. Clinton enjoys a cocktail – or three – more than most previous presidents,” Chozick writes.

Clinton has referenced her love of white wine when asked about her coping mechanisms, but the comments are usually of a joking nature.

“It wasn’t all yoga and breathing: I also drank my share of chardonnay,” she wrote in her 2017 memoir, What Happened.

Okay, so Hillary isn’t wandering the woods of Chappaqua smashed out of her mind on a thermos of gin and tonics, like some folks would have you believe, but it seems she likes to take the edge off with a beverage or three at the end of the night.

Relatable, and probably much healthier than Trump’s McDonald’s obsession.

Even so, we’re starting to hope there’s some truth to those rumors about the Rock running for president in 2020.

After that last election, Americans might be thinking that compararitively young health nut is a nice change of pace.


Hillary Scott Welcomes Twin Daughters!

A couple of years ago, Lady Antebellum singer Hillary Scott opened up about her miscarriage, confessing that she had struggled to move forward after such a tragic loss.

Last year, she revealed wonderful news — she’s pregnant again! With twins, no less.

Now, Hillary Scott has given birth, and she’s taken to social media to share the wonderful news with her fans and followers.

No, Lady Antebellum didn’t take home yet another Grammy Award on Sunday.

But that’s probably just fine for HIllary Scott, and not just because she already has three.

No, Hillary Scott gave birth in the wee hours of Monday morning.

She shared this joyous news with fans, who’ve known for a while that she and her husband, Chris Tyrell, are expecting their second and third children. She’s been using the #waitingonthetwins tag for a while on Instagram.

While she hasn’t yet posted a photo of her twin daughters, she announced the birth with a photo:

Hillary Scott Baby Hats

In the captions, Hillary wrote:

“Our family is thankful and proud to announce the arrival of our precious baby girls.”

That’s great news!

“They were born in the early hours of January 29th, 2018.”


“And we can’t wait to share more about them in the days to come.”

No photos yet and still no names, but it sounds like they have plans to share those details soon.

Hillary Scott also writes:

“Thank you to everyone who prayed and prayed for these little ladies, and thank you Lord for healthy babies. #twins”

It’s always a relief to give birth to healthy babies, particularly when there are potential complications. (Twins come with twice the birthing risks, folks; some people had twins they never got to meet).

For Hillary Scott and Chris Tyler, however, the relief must have been magnified.

Because a few years ago, Hillary suffered a miscarriage.

“This is something that is not talked about very often,” Hillary Scott said at the time.

It’s true that there’s an awkward culture of silence around miscarriages. It may be that people just don’t know what to say.

One minute, a couple is happily preparing for their family to be larger. The next … they aren’t.

“I also feel that there’s this pressure that you’re supposed to be able to snap your fingers and continue to walk through life like it never happened.”

Of course. Recovery is complicated, and everyone recovers from grief and loss at their own pace.

In 2013, Hillary Scott gave birth to her first child.

The couple’s daughter, Eisele Kaye, is currently 4-and-a-half years old (those halves count when you’re that young!). 

Though she was probably too young to really wrap her head around her mother’s miscarriage (though, sometimes, people don’t give children enough credit), she’ll be 5 this year, and is certainly old enough to be excited about being a big sister.

Congratulations to Hillary and Chris and Eisele and to their two beautiful new additions to the household.