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Jersey Shore Recap: The Sitch Is Getting Hitched!

The first season of Jersey Shore Family Vacation (or the seventh season of Jersey Shore, depending on your perspective) has excelled at taking a single event and stretching it out into an entire episode’s worth of genuinely entertaining content.

While creative editing certainly plays a role, the cast deserves most of the credit for filling the downtime with lol-worthy capering and quotables.

The crew clicks like few other casts in the history of reality television, and when they’re firing on all cylinders, it’s like watching the guido Golden State Warriors in action.

Take last night’s episode, for example.

Mike popped the question to Lauren Pesce — which we already knew was gonna happen — and Ronnie went full goth teen, basically lying in bed for the entire episode.

That’s it.

And yet somehow, it was a pretty engaging (no pun intended) hour of television.

Mike recruited the whole crew to assist with his proposal, which was definitely the right move from the viewers’ perspective.

It’s great that the Sitch has turned his life around, but we don’t tune in to Shore for an hour of a tee-totaling middle-aged dude waxing philosophical, ya know?

Some questionable decisions were made (the all-white engagement outfits for the guys; loading Lauren up on booze before she goes out to dinner with her relatively newly-sober boyfriend), but in the end, it all worked out.

Mike and Lauren got engaged, in the sort of genuinely amusing scene we don’t typically associate with Jersey Shore.

“You’re my best friend, my college sweetheart, my better half. You make me a better person,” Sorrentino told Pesce.

“Please make me the happiest man on Earth. Will you please marry me?”

The couple stated that they plan to work on making little baby Sitches as soon as they tie the knot.

Here’s hoping Sorrentino can stay out of prison in order to be there for his family.

And that’s not our way of slipping in Ronnie-esque dig at the Sitch.

Mike surely made some bad decisions, but he seems to finally be on the right path, and we hope the judge in his case will take that into consideration.

Speaking of Ronnie, we guess he had a premonition about just how ugly his relationship with Jen Harley would get, because dude is seriously bummed about the prospect of going back to the real world.

In the same way that the original Shore captured the carefree frivolity of your twenties, Family Vacation serves as a reminder that your thirties are loaded with stress and obligations that are never far from your mind, even on vacay.

Fortunately, Pauly D is always there to lighten the load with some amusing catchphrases.

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Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton: We’re FINALLY Ready to Get Hitched!

From the moment the world first learned that Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are dating, rumors that the couple is headed for the altar have been circulating non-stop.

For the most part, Gwen and Blake have been coy about their plans, hinting that there are wedding bells in their future, but stopping just short of providing a timeline for their engagement and wedding.

Both Blake and Gwen enjoy the attention of particularly obsessive fan bases, and the hunt for clues that the singers are getting ready to wed is never-ending.

Now, one outlet is claiming that Shelton has taken an important step toward proposing to Stefani.

“Gwen was raised in a Catholic family and religion is a big part of her life,” a source close to the situation tells Celebrity Insider. 

“Shelton converting to Catholicism is a final step towards the altar.”

And that’s not the only major change Blake has reportedly made in his lifestyle in recent weeks.

Apparently, Stefani has asked her future husband to quit the activity he’s most famous for aside from singing so that he can be an ideal stepfather to her three kids:

“Shelton has given up drinking,” says the insider.

If you know the man, you know that Blake’s drinking is the stuff of legend.

Shelton’s booze consumption is a significant part of his persona, but the source says he was happy to put the plug in the jug for good when Gwen asked him to.

So it’s sounding more and more like Gwen and Blake are getting their ducks in a row for the day fans have been anticipating for years.

Unfortunately, it looks as though the wait isn’t over quite yet.

 “I don’t think it’s anytime soon or anything,” says the source when asked when Blake and Gwen plan to exchange vows.

We’re guessing Blake would prefer that the wedding take place sooner rather than later.

He went from guzzling bourbon on a nightly basis to choking down nothing but vinegar-y communion wine.

The least Gwen can do is reward the man by putting a ring on it!

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Jewel’s Ex-Husband, Ty Murray, Gets Hitched Again in Country Waterfall Wedding

Jewel’s rodeo champ ex-hubby, Ty Murray, is gettin’ back on the horse … when it comes to love and marriage. Ty and FOX Sports reporter Paige Duke tied the knot September 30 at the Quarry at Carrigan Farms in North Carolina. They had the…

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Married at First Sight: Which Couples are Still Hitched?

On last week’s season finale of Married at First Sight, viewers were stunned to learn that all three couples decided to stay married.

Yes, even Danielle and Cody.

Despite the fact that she barely wants to hold her husband’s hand.

A week after revealing the fate of its six stars, the Lifetime reality show aired a reunion special, which was filmed six months after these twosome chose to remain husband and wife.

All this time later, and considering all the problems some of these couples encountered, there’s no way each marriage is still going strong, right?

WRONG!

Despite not sounding very into each other – and despite STILL NOT HAVING HAD ANY SEX! – Danielle and Cody have not split up, the reality star said on the special.

“I still just don’t feel in love, I think, so it’s very hard for me to totally embrace it,” Danielle said in regard to the pair’s total lack of a sex life.

Danielle and Cody met and married at the Palmer House Hilton in August 2016. They went on a honeymoon in the Caribbean afterward and then moved in together.

Listening to the pair not exactly gush over each other, the trio of Married at First Sight brought up Danielle’s dogs and congratulated Cody for being a “good dad” to them.

So at least this marriage now makes sense: Danielle is still in it because she’s found herself a high quality dog sitter!

Let’s talk about Sheila and Nate now.

They are living with Nate’s younger brother and still together.

Sheila says life has been easier ever since cameras stopped following them around everywhere.

“Nate and I entered this process with a lot of hope and a lot of optimism, but we were definitely individuals and I think that we have definitely assimilated and we are one,” she said during the reunion, adding:

“I love this man and when you have two people who want it this badly, I think that our future is going to be amazing.”

And now we wrap up with Ashley and Anthony.

They are living near Ashley’s sister, which was an issue early in their marriage, but which seems to have now worked itself out.

Despite a few rumors to the contrary, they are NOT expecting their first child.

“We still have awhile for that,” Ashley said. “It’s in the future, it’s going to happen, but not yet.”

To conclude the reunion, all three couples sat down together to answer questions from viewers.

We didn’t learn a ton from this gathering, except that Sheila really loves make-up sex.

Also, Ashley is working on being more adventurous, while Cody and Danielle are simply committed to the whole “building intimacy” thing.

Forget the make-up sex. They need to just start with basic sex and work their way up (or down, if you know what we mean!) from there.

We wish them the best of luck.

NOTE: Married at First Sight Season 6 will feature three couples from Boston. But Lifetime has not yet announced a premiere date.

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‘Harry Potter’ Star — Hogwarts Hunk Gettin’ Hitched … No Love Potion Needed!! (PHOTO)

Matthew Lewis had already transformed from nerdy Neville Longbottom to a Hollywood hottie, and now his life’s about to change even more — the ‘Harry Potter’ star is engaged. Lewis popped the question to Angela Jones last month, and she said yes to…

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Joy-Anna Duggar Courting Rumors: Is She Next in Line to Get Hitched?!

On a recent episode of Counting On, fans finally saw Jeremy Vuolo propose to Jinger Duggar.

The big moment came after a season of build-up, which is a bit odd, as most viewers were already well aware that Jinger and Jeremy had gotten engaged during filming.

These days, the Duggars are busy filming Counting On Season 3, and some fans are already wondering are what the family will do to maintain viewer interest.

Many are now looking to Jinger’s younger sister to assume that responsibility.

Joy-Anna recently turned 19.

She recently began her own Instagram and Twitter accounts (a privilege that’s usually reserved for Duggar women who have already begun courting).

“I think it’s really neat to see throughout the years [how] she’s really changed and grown up a lot,” Jinger recently told People magazine when asked about Joy-Anna.

“Years ago, she would have been the tomboy out in the trees and climbing all over the place, never wanting to fix her hair.”

Insiders say the hunt for a proper suitor for Joy-Anna has begun in earnest.

Of course, dating (excuse us, “courting”) can be difficult, and it’s even harder when you have a group of older brothers who all see it as their job to protect you from men whom you’re romantically interested in.

“For me, he would almost have to be a perfect guy,” Jedidiah said about potential Joy-Anna suitors in a recent interview.

“And he would go through a lot of testing!”

Josiah Duggar echoed the sentiment, saying:

“I think if guys come around, they’re going to have to get through a few guys – [I’m] talking about me and [my brother] Joseph.”

Yes, Joy-Anna will have to endure Jim Bob’s overprotective obsession and a creepy level of interest in her love life from her older brothers.

Best of luck with that!

These days, Joy-Anna is reportedly more concerned with spending time with her big sister Jinger before she heads off to begin start own family.

After Jinger’s wedding, however, she’ll reportedly make a decision with regard to several potential suitors.

In case you were wondering, Jana Duggar is also single, but sadly, it seems the Duggars have just given up on finding her a mate.

They’re an odd family.

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