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Eminem Drops Surprise Album; Internet Loses Its Mind

Guess who’s back. Back Again. Shady’s back.

Tell … well, actually you don’t need to tell anyone, because apparently, every single person on Twitter found out about Eminem’s new album while you were sleeping last night.

Yes, just four months after the release of his twelfth release, Revival, Eminem is back with another full-length album.

The rapper announced the surprise project at midnight on Friday with a tweet reading simply:

“Tried not 2 overthink this 1… enjoy.”

And with that Kamikaze was released unto the world, and the reaction from fans to everything from the album’s Beastie Boys-inspired cover art to its byzantine wordplay has been downright rapturous.

The 13-track collection comes on the heels of the prolific period in Eminem’s career.

He first announced his return to the hip-hop scene back in … with a blistering freestyle attacking Donald Trump that debuted at the BET Awards.

On Kamikaze, Em addresses the controversy over those verses and reveals that he was the subject of a Secret Sewrvice investigation:

“Sent the Secret Service to meet in person / To see if I really think of hurtin’ him / Or ask if I’m linked to terrorists,” he raps at tone point.

While Mr. Mathers was brutal in his initial assessment of Trump supporters, he now says he’s more likely to view them as victims, rather than villains:

“I empathize with the people this evil serpent sold the dream to that he’s deserted,” he raps.

Other targets who incur Em’s famous wrath over the course of the album include various “Lil” rappers (Xan, Pump, Yachty, et. al.) 

The legendary emcee really brings the knives out when addressing feuds with Tyler, the Creator, Machine Gun Kelly and Joe Budden.

“I see why you called yourself a faggot, bitch,” Em says of Tyler, a line that’s sure to attract some serious criticism.

Elsewhere on the album, Slim Shady admits that he was unhappy with the lukewarm critical reception that greeted his last album.

Many fans see this new release as a sort of do-over, an attempt to make things right with fans who may have been disappointed by Revival.

Whatever the case, Em has proven that he’s still one of the most dynamic forces in hip-hop, becoming a worldwide trending topic on Twitter just minutes after releasing his latest.

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Nun Fires Perfect First Pitch Strike, Leaves Internet in Awe

It's official.

In case there was any doubt before, all debate has now been put to rest:

Sister Mary Jo Sobieck of Marian Catholic High School in Chicago is a better pitcher than 50 Cent.

As proven in THIS CLIP, the rapper is on record as having thrown the worst first pitch in Major League Baseball history.

So, in that sense, the perfect strike tossed by Sister Mary in the video featured here did not have a high bar to clear in order to be placed higher than 50 Cent's attempt many years ago.

But this awe-inspiring nun didn't just head out to the mound on Saturday and barely manage to get the baseball over the plate.

No.

First, she did a little trick with the ball in her hand and then she threw what can just be described as an ideal 12-6 curveball, one that would have fooled even Aaron Judge or Mike Trout.

It floated right down into the catcher's mitt in the heart of the strike zone when all was said, done and applauded.

Sister Mary was called upon to make this ceremonial first pitch in Chicago, prior to yet another White Sox loss.

They fell to the Royals by a score of 3-1 after the nun left the mound.

With a record of 45-77, it's pretty clear the White Sox could use Mary Jo Sobieck on their roster.

Maybe not as a starter. Her arm might lack the stamina to go six or seven innings.

But as a late-inning reliever?

Someone to come in for a batter or two and disrupt the opposing team's rhythm?

Someone ordained by God, no less?!?

Sign her up, Sox!

And check out this footage now, readers!

(And then click on the following link to compare this memorable first pitch to past first pitches. Who hurled it best?)

Nun fires perfect first pitch strike should probably be signed b
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Bridesmaid Gets Fired from Role, Divides the Internet in Half

Remember the terrible Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson movie Bride Wars?

Yes? No? Maybe? It doesn't really matter.

Because now it's time for a bride versus her bridesmaid war!

Actually, to be more accurate, it's time for a bride versus her bridemaid versus the entire Internet war, as an email shared online by a woman getting married as sparked quite a debate among complete strangers.

What role has JetBlue played in this back-and-forth?

And what responsibilities does a bridesmaid have to the person who asked her to fill this role?

Scroll down for the answers to both of these questions and many more!

1. Okay, So How Did This Start?

Bride email
A woman named Courtney Duffy shared the email above. It was written by a bride-to-be who had asked Courtney to be in her wedding party.

2. Let’s Break It Down, Shall We?

Email part 1
Solid opening here. Perfectly fair and reasonable and it sets the scene: Courtney is busy (as an MBA student at Dartmouth, according to her Twitter bio), yet making a real effort to attend her friend’s wedding.

3. But Then…

Favor to ask
Yikes, huh? Courtney is being asked to “relinquish [her] duties as a bridesmaid.” We do not know, of course, whether the bridesmaids were truly given specific tasks that each had to complete in order for the wedding to go off and is Courtney had agreed to hers ahead of time.

4. This Arrangement Just Won’t Work

Fulfull duty
Again, we do not know if Courtney actually had to bail on any specific, pressing task… or if the bride was referring here to broad and mysterious “duties” that her party was responsible for.

5. It’s Not You… It’s Not Really Me, Either

Fair or foul
This is where the bride (Alex) loses some people, as she tries to comfort Courtney and to make sure she understands that she isn’t letting her down. We somehow don’t think Courtney thought that she was.

6. You’ve Been Replaced!

Jumpsuit
Wait, wait, wait… a jumpsuit?!? This is suddenly the only part of this entire email we care about now.

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Paris Hilton Calls Lindsay Lohan Out as a “Liar,” Internet Wonders If It’s 2006

Paris Hilton is celebrating #ThrowbackThursday a few hours early.

But she isn’t doing it via some memorable or funny photos from several years ago.

She’s doing it by reigniting a decades-old feud with the one former celebrity who may be more irrelevant than she is these days.

Yes, Lindsay Lohan, we’re talking about you.

The former A-Listers, both of whom have seen their Q-Rating drop more precipitously than Hilton’s pants in her infamous amateur porn video, are evidently at odds once again as a result of something Paris wrote on Instagram.

This is all a little bit confusing and a whole lot random, but here we go…

A Paris Hilton fan account (yes, these actually exist!) on Instagram shared a montage of paparazzi videos of Lohan in the 2000s this week.

During her darkest period, of course, the ex-actress was involved prominently during this decade in many scandals and disagreements.

The first clip from the aforementioned video is from November of 2006; it features Lohan claiming that Hilton had hit her in the arm the night before at a friend’s house and also poured a drink all over her.

Then, in the second section of footage, Lohan takes this statement back and says she loves Paris.

“Paris is my friend. Everyone lies about everything. She’s a nice person…she never did that. She’s a good girl,” Lindsay tells photographers as she ducks into the car with Hilton behind the wheel in this snippet.

Then, there’s a third segment of the video in which Lindsay seemingly calls Paris a “cunt,” prior to immediately claiming she did no such thing,

(A certain President of the United States stand up and applaud Lindsay for her ability to tell fudge the truth, if you will.)

At some point, this video must have made its way into Hilton’s feed because actually left a comment on it that reads:

#PathologicalLiar.

paris vs. lindsay

Lohan and Hilton go back a VERY long way.

Lindsay allegedly dated Hilton’s ex-boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos, about 12 years ago.

Lohan, meanwhile, once quipped that Paris is “very comfortable making videos,” a clear reference to her sex tape.

Then, in 2013, Hilton’s younger brother alleged that Lohan was actually behind a beating he took in Miami.

We haven’t heard much about their relationship since then; nor much from either star since then, period.

However, Lohan recently went after Kim Kardashian, indicating that she’s unafraid to stir things up with fellow celebrities just like she did in the old days.

Although she’d claim otherwise.

“I’m a normal, nice person. A good person. I don’t have any bad intentions. And my past has to stay in the past,” Lohan explained in a new interview, adding:

“People have to just let go of it and stop bringing it up because it’s not – it’s gone. It’s dead. And that’s the most important thing to me.”

Okay, fine. Fair enough.

But someone better pass that message along to Paris Hilton.

(At press time, Lohan had not responded to Hilton’s liar diss.)

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Anna Duggar Gushes Over Josh, Makes Internet Barf

Poor, Anna Duggar.

Correction: poor, poor, POOR Anna Duggar.

The mother of five remains married to her husband despite Josh Duggar having been involved in two of the more disgusting scandals we can recall.

We can't imagine she has any kind of support system around her — and we can imagine that her in-laws have all laid on extreme guilt trips about her leaving her gross husband and trying to start over without his terrible influence.

This is relevant once again because Anna made a surprising return to Instagram in early July of 2018, actually writing nice things about Josh in honor of a milestone for the couple.

Get out that barf bag and scroll down to find out what she said…

1. Yes, Anna Duggar is on Instagram

Josh duggar and a kid
But she rarely posts messages or photos. The last time she shared a picture of Josh Duggar was on March 1, 2017. It was the picture above and she wrote as a caption: “Happy Birthday Josh! I’m so thankful for the 30 years of life God has given you – I love you!”

2. The Last Time Anna Posted Anything at All?

Annamessage
You need to go back to May 1, 2018. She asked if anyone would be watching the film “Love Arrows” and included with this question the quote above.

3. So, Why Did She Return on July 5?

Annad
Because “June was an exciting month for our family,” Anna wrote as a caption to multiple photos, explaining why as follows: “Marcus, Michael and I are are officially a year older + Josh and I celebrated our 10 year engagement anniversary!” It was this last statement that got the attention of fans, especially when you consider how she followed it up.

4. She Followed It Up with This Photo

Josh kisses anna
And also with this conclusion to her caption: “The past 10 years have been a wonderful adventure. So thankful for God’s redeeming grace and His blessings to us along the way, especially our 5 M’s!”

5. A Wonderful Adventure, Huh?

Reacttoanna
That’s one way to look at it. Fans had a mixture of responses to this description, from those who thought Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have pressured Anna to remain married… to those who thought it was no one’s business… to those who believe Josh had been redeemed.

6. Wait… Redeemed for What?!?

Anna and josh duggar
In case you aren’t aware, let us refresh your memory here: Josh admitted in May of 2015 that he molested two of his sisters and five girls overall. It was also revealed that his parents were aware of these actions, yet did not go to the authorities.

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Priest Slaps Crying Baby, Internet Flips Its $hit

Well, this is quite disturbing.

We never thought we'd write that about a video that features a priest and a baptism… but here we are.

Footage of a priest slapping – yes, SLAPPING – a crying baby during a baptism has made its way around the Internet, sparking the sort of outrage you'd expect when, it bears repeating…

… there's footage of a PRIEST SLAPPING A CRYING BABY.

The YouTube video was initially shared on Reddit with a caption that reads what we just wrote: “A priest slaps an infant during his baptism.”

On Reddit, the user wrote: “this happened today in France, I’m really shocked.”

Well, yeah!

Who would not be?!?

In the 43-second video that we've shared above, the unnamed priest is shown holding the child’s tear-filled face as the boy sits in a woman’s arms.

We assume this woman is a loved one.

The priest looks like he's trying to comfort the young kid… until, in the middle of the video, the man of God is shown slapping the child across his cheek.

There's certainly no other way to interpret what we're seeing here.

The boy's parents react to this violent act with stunned expressions, as their son starts to scream even more.

We then see the priest pulling the child closer as a woman, who appears to be a church official, briefly approaches him.

"I saw this video on Facebook and I cried," wrote one Twitter user in response, adding:

"I was filled with anger and sadness. If I was the mother of that baby I wouldn’t hesitate to push or slapped the damn priest back!! I don’t care what he is!!"

At one point, the infant struggles in the priest’s arms, prompting a man nearby to forcibly remove the kid from the priest’s arms.

It's just weird and wild and disturbing stuff all around.

"This child will be traumatized by [priests] now," wrote another grossed-out social media user.

“This is so scary and sickening, that baby knew that’s the devil in disguise,” another added. “That’s no priest.”

Watch the controversial footage above.

Priest slaps crying baby internet flips its %24hit
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Beyonce and Jay-Z Release Joint Album, Nearly Destroy the Internet

Welp. 

This is one way to distract the public from an alleged affair with LeBron James.

On Saturday afternoon, Beyonce and Jay-Z stunned the music universe by releasing a joint album as a rather significant complement to their ongoing “On the Run II Tour.”

Titled “Everything Is Love,” the album was released exclusively Tidal and announced by Beyonce via Instagram.

The announcement footage features the two artists at the Louvre museum in Paris, including shots of them standing in front of the Mona Lisa painting while donning pink and mint suits … as well as glimpses of dancers performing in skin-colored tights and crop tops.

Two performers appear on the cover of the Everything Is Love album.

But this is not even all:

On top of the album drop, Bey and Jay also released a music video for the record’s debut single, “Apes**t.”

The video was filmed on location last month in this same iconic museum, a Tidal rep tells E! News…

… and here it is!

Within three hours of Beyonce confirming this album, her announced has received over 1.2 million Likes on Instagram.

While the Internet went bonkers with the news, Beyonce and Jay-Z were performing in London Stadium, where onlookers have reported the same announcement was made on a big screen behind the singers.

Beyonce and Jay-Z have been together for a decade.

They are parents to three children, including a set of twins, and have overcome at least one Jay-Z cheating scandal.

The global superstars actually renewed their vows in June, aiming to prove to the world that their love could withstand this sort of infidelity and obstacle.

As always, however, the artists have remained mostly close-lipped about their relationship, preferring to let the occasional family photo or mysterious quote do the talking.

That, or a surprise album and music video drop of course.

Beyonce sings and raps in the song “Apes**t,” whose lyrics make a rather clear reference to her marital challenges. To wit:

I can’t believe we made it/This is why we’re thankful.

Jay-Z and Beyonce have collaborated on other tracks in the past — but never on a full album.

The former told the New York Times in 2017 that the pair both “using our art almost like a therapy session,” which helps explains Beyonce’s legendary Lemonade alum and his 4:44 album.

As we said, the record is available on Tidal and its track listing is as follows:

1. Summer

2. Apes

3. Boss

4. Nice

5. 713

6. Friends

7. Heard About Us

8. Black Effect

9. Lovehappy

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Raccoon Scales Skyscraper, Keeps Entire Internet on Edge

The MPR Raccoon is safe!

We repeat: The MPR Raccoon is safe!

As anyone with an Internet connection knows, it was a tense night on Tuesday for those who tracked the unexpected actions of this creature, who sky-rocketed to viral fame thanks to a climb we're guessing he really wanted to make.

The animal was discovered by employees at Minnesota Public Radio (hence the hashtag "#MPRraccoon"), whose building sits next to the 23-story office tower in St. Paul that this raccoon decided to scale after he got scared by a window cleaner.

Climbing higher and higher, the critter apparently realized after awhile that he couldn't simply jump down without risking life and limb…

… so he simply kept going.

My picture from the 13th floor around noon. Hope he makes it down OK! #mprraccoon, read the caption to this amazing photo.

When maintenance workers attempted to coax the raccoon down, he became frightened and scampered so far up the skyscraper that he was out of reach of any human helper.

At various points, the raccoon stopped for a break, sitting on ledges directly outside the windows of various workers and Twitter users.

To wit:

"He is on the ledge on our floor," explains the above individual, who snapped a rather adorable photo of the animal and added:

"He seems to be doing well. We’ve been told that the building has live traps on the roof and are trying to get him to go up there. We all just have to keep our fingers crossed.. #mprraccoon."

Indeed, an entire World Wide Web crossed its collective fingers, unsure how this saga would end, not especially anxious to see a raccoon plummet to his death off the side of a tall building.

(It's here where we must acknowledge the power of a cute face. Because, let's face it, raccoons aren't exactly the most cuddly creatures around.)

Local television station KARE11 in Minnesota started streaming the raccoon’s movements on Tuesday evening, while MPR was constantly updating its story throughout the day on Twitter and Facebook.

The story even reached national levels of attention with a segment on Good Morning America, which we've included below.

So… did MPR Raccoon reach the roof and the live trap set there with cat food safely?

YES!

The animal will soon be released into the wild and we'll be forced to scour New York City for the next milkshake squirrel in order to track down the next four-legged Internet sensation.

Check out footage of this wayward raccoon below!

Mpr raccoon scales skyscraper keeps entire internet on edge
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IHOP Reveals Name Change, Angers the Internet

For once, IHOP is not here to give you an immediate heart attack from a menu that occasionally mixes in some breakfast food underneath gobs of whipped cream and chocolate.

Instead, IHOP is here to rock your world.

The long-running franchise has announced on Twitter that it is changing its name to IHOb on June 11, stunning Internet users and causing them two ask two basic questions:

  1. What does the b stand for?
  2. What the heck is wrong with you, IHOP?!?!?

The restaurant says it won't answer that first question for a few days, while social media folks continue to ask the second one.

Scroll down for a look at IHOP's shocking Tweet, the poll it is running in relation to it — and to read what people are saying about this impending change.

(UPDATE: Scroll to the end of this gallery to find out what IHOb actually stands for!)

1. This is Happening, People

Ihob
All this uproar started after a single Tweet from the official IHOP account, which has 320,000 followers.

2. So… What Will It Be?

Ihop poll
Biscuits? Bacon? Butternut Squad? Barnacles? Will the “B” stand for any of these things?

3. Burritos, Definitely!

Burritos
We doubt this is it, but we would absolutely eat at the International House of Burritos.

4. Gotta Be Burgers, Right?

Burgers
Go run and hide, Five Guys. You’ve got some major competition coming… some people think.

5. No Way: It’s Bacon!

Bacon
Bacon may be the most universally beloved foot on the planet, this much is true.

6. This is a Bad Idea

No ihop
It doesn’t matter if you love burgers or bacon, this is just a dumb example of re-branding… some are saying.

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IHOP Announces Name Change, Confounds the Internet

For once, IHOP is not here to give you an immediate heart attack from a menu that occasionally mixes in some breakfast food underneath gobs of whipped cream and chocolate.

Instead, IHOP is here to rock your world.

The long-running franchise has announced on Twitter that it is changing its name to IHOb on June 11, stunning Internet users and causing them two ask two basic questions:

  1. What does the b stand for?
  2. What the heck is wrong with you, IHOP?!?!?

The restaurant says it won't answer that first question for a few days, while social media folks continue to ask the second one.

Scroll down for a look at IHOP's shocking Tweet, the poll it is running in relation to it — and to read what people are saying about this impending change:

1. This is Happening, People

Ihob
All this uproar started after a single Tweet from the official IHOP account, which has 320,000 followers.

2. So… What Will It Be?

Ihop poll
Biscuits? Bacon? Butternut Squad? Barnacles? Will the “B” stand for any of these things?

3. Burritos, Definitely!

Burritos
We doubt this is it, but we would absolutely eat at the International House of Burritos.

4. Gotta Be Burgers, Right?

Burgers
Go run and hide, Five Guys. You’ve got some major competition coming… some people think.

5. No Way: It’s Bacon!

Bacon
Bacon may be the most universally beloved foot on the planet, this much is true.

6. This is a Bad Idea

No ihop
It doesn’t matter if you love burgers or bacon, this is just a dumb example of re-branding… some are saying.

View Slideshow
ReadMore…