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Kourtney Kardashian Eats Foccacia, Klaps Back at Mommy-Shamer

Based on a couple of clips we’ve seen to far from Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 15, Kourtney Kardashian will be fighting mad when this reality series returns in August.

Here. See what we mean below:

But while Kourtney may get angry at her sisters on air later this summer, the long-time E! personality looks pretty darn relaxed at the moment, having shared a handful of photos from her ongoing vacation in Italy.

On Sunday, Kourtney shared a photo of herself on a yacht in Portofino with the caption, “just finished my daily basket of focaccia…hbu?”

To the average Internet user, this picture is both hilarious and beautiful.

It’s hilarious for two reasons: First, Kardashian apparently eats one basket of focaccia per day; second, she’s asking whether her followers have also done so themselves yet, as if this is a regular hobby.

It’s beautiful because…. ummm… just take a look at Kardashian’s ridiculous body in this image:

To the average Internet troll,however, this picture was a cause to lash out at Kourtney and question her qualifications for motherhood.

In a response to the snapshot, one idiot went ahead and actually commented,:

“Where are your kids?”

To which Kourtney replied:

“My son was taking the photo, and the other two were sitting a table across from me. Thank you so much for your concern.”

We’re gonna go out on a limb and assume that last sentence was written with sarcasm. Extreme sarcasm.

Kourtney Kardashian clapback

Kourtney, of course, shares children Mason Disick, Penelope Disick and Reign Disick with ex-boyfriend Scott Disick.

She arrived in Italy with boyfriend Younes Bendjima in late June and has been sharing many pictures from the trip on social media ever since.

It’s pretty clear everyone is having a grand time abroad, as evidenced by this totally adorable image of Kourtney and daughter Penelope.

How precious, right?!?

Kourtney and Bendjima seemed like a random fling back when the two first got together.

But they are reportedly still having hot cougar sex every chance they get and appear to be going stronger than ever before.

For some very strange reason, Maxim recently left Kourtney off its Hot Women list, which should perhaps be prosecuted as an actual crime.

We present the pictures above as evidence.

And for those who want to look like Kardashian, apparently the secret is now out:

Eat a basket of foccacia every day. There you have it!

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Kim Kardashian: My Vagina Tastes Like a Pineapple & Yours Can Too!

Pineapples don’t enjoy the greatest reputation in the US, and it’s not hard to see why they’re so maligned.

They’re hard to eat; they don’t carry much nutritional value; and ordering them on your pizza can get you permanently kicked out of your friend group.

But Kim Kardashian wants you to know a pineapple a day can change your life in one very important way.

“Google the benefits of pineapple juice,” Kim captioned the pic above.

We’re gonna go ahead and save you some time, by informing you that Kim is referring to the flavor of her vajayjay.

Yes, research has found that consumption of pineapples and pineapple juice can lead to a more flavorful hoo-hah.

But fellas, you don’t need to be left out of this medical breakthrough.

Studies have shown that gobbling up the pointy fruit can improve the taste of reproductive fluids for both sexes.

While that’s certainly valuable information, we’re more interested in what this post tells us about Kim’s sex life.

Courtesy of Amber Rose, we already know that Kanye enjoys a finger up his butt from time to time.

But apparently it’s not all about Kanye in bed — as it is in every other aspect of Yeezy’s life.

West is clearly not averse to taking some trips down south, but it seems he is a bit picky when he’s eating at the “Y.”

We know this because Kim has been about that pineapple life for several years now, which leads us to believe Kanye offers more feedback than a dozen irate Yelp users.

Kim first tweeted about her love of the genital-improving juice back in 2013, writing:

“How good is pineapple juice? All those amazing benefits!”

She added a licking-face emoji, to ensure that fans wouldn’t miss her meaning.

As longtime fans of Keeping Up With the Kardashians know, 2013 was also the year of the Great Kard Clan Vagina Smell-Off.

Yes, in one memorable episode (unless, of course, you’ve been successful in blocking the scene in question from your mind) Kim and Kourtney participated in a contest to determine who had the better smelling vadge.

Khloe was chosen as judge, of course.

Kim won with the help of a few cans of the good stuff from Dole.

Yes, it seems pineapple juice is to Kim what spinach is to Popeye.

We could be total buzzkills and point out that you probably need to drink a ridiculous amount of pineapple juice to alter the taste of your bodily fluids, but this is an area in which placebo effect is probably about 90 percent of the experience.

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Kim Kardashian Spent $10,000 on Fake Testicles for Her Dog; Here’s Why

Kim Kardashian may not be able to keep Kanye from blaming black people for slavery, but there’s still one man in her life she can control.

That man is her dog, Rocky, whom she had neutered, as any responsible pet owner would do.

Strangely, she has reportedly purchased fake testicles for him … for a whopping $ 10,000.

According to The New York Times, Kim Kardashian has spent $ 10,000 to purchase prosthetic testicles for her dog, Rocky.

Allegedly, she purchased the Neuticles and had them implanted because she wanted to help Rocky’s self-esteem.

Way back in the simpler times of 2012, Kim Kardashian told The Independent that she “doesn’t like big balls on dogs, or anything else.”

That’s sort of a weird comment in general. Some people are uncomfortable with the sight of their dog’s genitalia, which is a perfectly fine hang-up to have.

It’s the “anything else” line that’s weirder for her to include. Barring inconvenience during a couple of sex acts, who cares about testicle size?

Whatever. Maybe she was trying to be funny. It was 2012.

Regardless, people assume that she purchased Neuticles that were smaller than the originals.

Gregg Miller is the creator of Neuticles, and he does not mince words when advocating for people to purchase his very expensive product.

“Some have their dog turned into a eunuch because they don’t care,” Miller says, according to The Daily Mail.

First of all, who says eunuch unless they’re talking about Ancient Rome or Game of Thrones? Neutered is a perfectly good word, dude.

Second of all, you neuter your dog because you care very much. Responsible humans neuter their dogs.

“But there’s a certain segment of pet owners,” Miller says. “That do care and that’s where Neuticles come in.”

Miller sure has some opinions, folks.

Kim, as you may recall, got Rocky with then-boyfriend Reggie Bush way, way back in 2010.

“Rocky is most like me, his mommy,” Kim said at the time. “He’s really cool and calm, and goes with the flow.”

Kim is not really known for being a dog person, and with the exception of photoshoots and a few pomeranian photos from last year, you’re just not going to see dogs show up on her Instagram. It’s weird.

At the time, Kim revealed that she got into a bit of trouble with Kourtney over Rocky, but it was nothing like Kim and Kourtney’s recent klashes.

“Mason hasn’t really been around dogs that much,” Kim said. “Rocky was licking Mason in the face, and Kourtney was mad at me.”

That’s a weird thing to be mad about.

“I was like, “No, they need to meet!” It was really funny,” Kim described. “And Rocky did calm down after a little bit.”

As we mentioned, Kim is sort of weird about pets.

In fact, she has plainly stated that she forgot what became of various pets that have been gifted to her and her sisters over the years.

We’re talking about childhood pets. And no, not sea monkeys.

If it weren’t for the fact that Kim is clearly a good mother, we might worry that she’s some sort of unloving monster. Because, seriously, who does that?

Kim also doesn’t post many pet photos to Instagram. She’s posted more explanations of a strange mark in the marble of a hotel room in the past year than she has posted photos of Rocky.

Kylie, in the mean time, has made it clear on social media that she is obsessed with her dogs. Which is much, much more normal.

But it seems very clear that Kim cares about Rocky if she’s dropping what to mere mortals would be a sizable down payment on a car to give him fake testicles to help his self-esteem.

Some people just don’t show their love on social media.

Especially when they are celebrities trying to pick and choose what fits their brand.

For Kylie, who was until late last year, a teenager, showing constant dog photos and videos did zero harm to her absolute juggernaut of a brand.

Kim caters to a different, older crowd, and we’re not going to second guess the judgment of the woman who all but invented branding.

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Khloe Kardashian Alleges That Tristan Thompson is a Great Dad

We know that Tristan Thompson is very good at rebounding a basketball.

He’s also very good at plowing random Instagram models while his girlfriend is going through various stages of pregnancy.

But Khloe Kardashian would like us to know something else about the controversial power forward:

He’s also a good… father?

Really, Keeks?!?

The reality star really does claim as much, writing on Snapchat Friday in regard to her first day back on the job at her clothing brand Good American.

“I’m very grateful because Tristan is being a great daddy and he has done all the feedings while I’ve been gone.”

There are a couple ways to react to this statement:

1. Feeding one’s child does not make one a great daddy. It just makes one a daddy.

2. LOL, yeah, right, Khloe.

The reality star will need to forgive members of the public who aren’t exactly buying what she’s trying to sell here.

Thompson also have an 18-month old son with Jordan Craig and has made it rather clear over the years that Tristan has never really been there for this toddler.

Might he have changed his ways?

Absolutely.

But the way he’s acted when it comes to Khloe and other women makes us think otherwise.

It seems more likely that this is part of The Tristan Thompson Redemption Tour.

Over the past few weeks, Khloe has talked candidly about staying with her baby daddy, while Kendall Jenner has gone on a double date with him and Kim Kardashian has unblocked Thompson on Instagram.

Thompson, meanwhile, has shared multiple pictures of his child in an attempt to prove that he has, at the very least, met her.

Elsewhere, Khloe made headlines over the weekend for putting an awful troll in his place on social media.

On Friday, the 34-year-old Keeping Up With the Kardashians star fired back at an idiot who Tweeted:

“Is it just me or is @khloekardashdian baby, True, not cute at all?”

We could think of plenty of responses to this asinine remark ourselves, but we’ll let True’s mother handle it.

“What self-respecting adult would even comment on a child’s appearance?” Khloe wrote in response, adding:

“What type of disgusting human being are you? It’s pathetic that you are this miserable in your life.”

After a follower agreed that this comment was “vile,” Khloe agreed and concluded of the person who made it:

“She’s a loser for that. No respect for people like that.

“People are entitled to their own opinions and feelings but why on earth would you tweet that and if you must why would you tag me?”

Those are both excellent questions.

The Tweet has since been deleted and the user’s account has been made private.

Both Khloe and Tristan have taken more and more recently to posting photos and videos of their daughter, such as the snapshot you see above.

You can think what you want about their relationship and you can definitely insult Thompson in whatever way you see fit.

But True is a baby and clearly a precious baby at that.

Leave her out of this.

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