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Kate Middleton Used to Do WHAT For a Living?!

Well, we all knew this day would come, but that doesn’t make the burden any easier to bear.

We don’t blame you if you’ve spent the past several weeks cowering in your bunker and avoiding all forms of media in hopes of prolonging your state of blissful ignorance just a few days more, but the time has come to face facts:

Like it or absolutely loathe it, Meghan Markle is leaving Suits.

“What is Suits?” some of you poor, ignorant souls might be asking.

Well, words are insufficient to describe the majesty of basic cable’s fourth most-popular legal drama, but imagine if Shakespeare, Hemingway, and Shonda Rhimes all collaborated on a quirky office dramedy.

Then make it like a million times doper and throw Her Hotness Meghan Markle in the mix.

Now, you’re beginning to get an idea of the glorious manna from Heaven that is Suits.

Needless to say, we’re bummed that Meg is leaving behind whoever her co-stars are for greener pastures, but when one marries into the royal family, one leaves full-time employment to the unwashed shlubs of the world,

Grace Kelly did it; Princess Di did it … even Kate Middleton did it:

Yes, believe it or not, there was a time when Duchess Kate punched a clock in the workaday world and toiled for her bread just like the rest of us.

Okay, “toiled” might be a bit of a strong word.

In fact Kate’s most recent (and, as far as we can tell, only) gig sounds like it was just about the cushiest non-royal job imaginable.

After graduating from St. Andrews University in 2005, Kate took a job as a buyer for the British fashion label Jigsaw.

Apparently, she arranged the brand’s founder, Belle Robinson, and worked just three days a week in order to accomodate her schedule as William’s girlfriend.

“And I have to say I was so impressed by her. There were days when there were TV crews at the end of the drive. We’d say, ‘Listen, do you want to go out the back way?'” Robinson once said of Kate.

“And she’d say, ‘To be honest, they’re going to hound us until they’ve got the picture. So why don’t I just go, get the picture done, and then they’ll leave us alone’. I thought she was very mature for a 26-year-old, and I think she’s been quite good at neither courting the press nor sticking two fingers in the air at them.”

Robinson adds that Kate was down-to-earth … ya know, by “future queen” standards.

“She sat in the kitchen at lunchtime and chatted with everyone from the van drivers to the accounts girls,” Robinson said.

“She wasn’t precious. A lot of people have distorted it to say we’re friends with her parents but I’ve only met them four times.”

These days Kate is pregnant with her third child, and the only high fashion buying she’s doing is for herself.

So there you have it.

Kate earned her posh part-time job before quitting the second her boyfriend put a ring on it.

Has she contributed anything to society as significant as Meghan’s role on Suits?

No, but really, who has?

Literally, the guy who cured polio, and that’s it.

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Kate Gosselin vs. Jon Gosselin: Explosive Custody Battle Ahead?!?

We’re very sorry.

We know you don’t want to hear any more about Kate Gosselin and Jon Gosselin.

Trust us: we don’t want to write about them, either.

But the Former Couple Who Never Seems to Entirely Go Away is back in the news and, based on this latest report, may continue to be in the news for several weeks to come.

Because an ugly custody battle is allegedly brewing between the parents of eight.

According to Hollywood Life, Jon Gosselin actually has his life together now and, as a result, he wants to spend a lot more time with his children.

Kate and Jon, of course, are the parents to 13-year old sextuplets and 18-year old twins.

They formerly anchored Jon and Kate Plus 8 on TLC until a pretty nasty break-up and subsequent divorce prompted the cancelation of that reality series.

Kate now has primary custody of the kids, so much so that she stars in Kate Plus 8 along with the kids. 

HOWEVER…

“[Jon’s] doing everything he can to win their next custody battle,” an insider tells the aforementioned website, adding;

“He’s totally overhauled his life, he’s even back working a regular job again.”

It’s about time, some might say.

Jon worked as a DJ and even a stripper for awhile after becoming single, clearly suffering through some kind of mid-life crisis.

But he’s now working as an I.T. administrator and earning “decent pay,” the Hollywood Life source claims, expounding as follows:

“He knows that’s what he has to do to get his kids back. He’s really hopeful that this will help him get more time with his kids.”

Controversy has arisen of late over Kate’s treatment of Collin.

The young teenager has been confirmed to have some kind of behavioral issue and has been sent away… somewhere.

But no one close to the Gosselins will say what’s going on with him and fans continue to be concerned that Collin has been practically kicked out of the family.

“The way Kate is handling things with Collin breaks Jon’s heart, but he has no say,” a source previously told Hollywood Life.

“She controls everything, it’s her way or the highway when it comes to the kids, including Collin.”

Jon and Kate don’t have much contact these days, but when they do… well… THINGS GET UGLY.

We can’t imagine the sort of vitriol that will be spat back and forth if these two end up on opposite sides in court again.

Okay, fine, we can imagine.

And that’s why we get sad just thinking of writing more about these two going forward.

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Kate Upton and Justin Verlander: Married!

Most of us are familiar with Kate Upton. If not from her astonishingly hot photoshoots, then from her (in)famous Game of War ads.

She’s probably one of the most desired women on the planet, but as we all know, last year she and Justin Verlander got engaged.

Well, they’ve followed through, folks. Kate Upton and Justin got married.

Let’s start by remembering that Kate Upton’s huge boobs aren’t all that there is to her.

(And that isn’t a joking way of segueing into talking about her butt or whatever)

It’s true that her Game of War commercials weren’t, um, the best.

Don’t get us wrong, the sight of a fantasy battlefield is super engaging, and Kate Upton is all kinds of beautiful.

But between the realization that the commercial’s for a freemium mobile game and the fact that Kate Upton mostly just walked in front of a green screen while her boobs hooked viewers’ attention, we don’t know that they were effective ads.

(“Sex sells” has been somewhat disproven, as people are less likely to remember what excessively sexy people are selling)

But, even though Mariah Carey’s Game of War commercial was somehow better, it wasn’t Kate Upton’s fault that her commercials were ridiculed.

She’s a complex, multi-dimensional person.

She has a cross tattoo and has spoken about her experiences as a Christian within the modeling world, which has helped to shatter the image that outspoken Christians can’t become models who pose topless or advertise alcohol.

Anyway, we learned in May of 2016 that Kate Upton and Justin Verlander were engaged.

They had apparently become quietly engaged before that season of baseball — the sport that Justin plays — had even begun.

At the time, Justin Verlander’s team wasn’t really dominating the field, but people noted that it didn’t really matter — he was engaged to one of the most gorgeous models on the planet.

(A little perspective is healthy, folks)

Some celebrity engagements drag on for years and years. Others fizzle out as celebs have all sorts of ridiculous drama.

Not so for Kate and Justin.

On Saturday, November 4th, this couple followed through and got married, Us Weekly confirms.

At the Rosewood Castiglion Del Bosco resort in Tuscany, Italy, the 25-year-old model and the 34-year-old baseball player celebrated their union.

The wedding itself took place in a beautiful medieval church.

They opted for a medium-sized wedding, which makes a pretty sharp contrast with Kate’s whopper of an engagement ring.

Kate Upton, back when she first revealed their engagement, mentioned that she wanted lots and lots of flowers at the wedding.

Justin Verlander, as it happens, is allergic to flowers, but if an allergy pill can cover it, it sounds worth it to make the wedding picture-perfect.

Though, honestly, if flowers are going to be photographed with Kate Upton, nobody’s going to be looking at the floral arrangements.

Italy is a gorgeous location for a wedding, particularly if you’re in the market for a historical church.

Remember, Italy has been the seat of Roman Catholicism for over 1,500 years. It’s literally the birthplace of cathedrals and smaller churches, and of the Roman basilicas that inspired the first cathedrals.

There’s no word on whether Kate’s dog, a boxer named Harley, was present for the ceremony.

But gosh, we hope so — you want your family there for the wedding!

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Kate Gosselin Shares Cute Halloween Photo, Gets Roasted on Twitter

Kate Gosselin should really just take a break from social media at this point.

A nice, long, looooong break from social media, we recommend.

The reality star is getting dragged left and right on the Internet, earning backlash from Twitter users no matter what she does or says.

For instance:

Gosselin recently shared a throwback photo of her twin daughters on the occasion of their 17th birthday, only for critics to jump all over both her and even them in response.

It’s gotten to the point where celebrity gossip followers have grown so sick of Gosselin’s whining and self-centered ways that they try to cut her down to size at all times.

Consider the latest example:

As so many famous mothers (and not-so-famous mothers) did on the night of Halloween, Gosselin posted a picture of her kids on Instagram this week.

“I had a trick-or-treating date with a couple of cute pink dinosaurs and a few adorable astronauts!” wrote the mother of eight as a caption to the photo above.

It features 13-year-old sextuplets Aaden, Alexis, Hannah, Leah and Joel, all smiling for the camera.

But it does NOT feature brother Collin, who has been enrolled in a program away from home for behavioral issues.

No one is really sure where Collin is or what his issues actually are – but viewers have often been quick to criticize Gosselin for keeping him away from his siblings.

Heck, Collin did not even attend his own birthday party in July.

And Gosselin offered no explanation for his absence.

“No Collin, of course. That’s sad. He’s been gone for like 3 years now,” one person commented in response to Gosselin’s picture, while another added:

“He should be at home it is terrible.”

Should he be, though?

We don’t actually know, of course.

If something really is the matter with Collin, he should be receiving professional help.

You have to respect the privacy of a possibly troubled 13-year old, right?

But Gosselin could end all speculation with a simple statement.

She did at least say the following to ABC’s Nightline in November of 2016, regarding sending her son away:

“It was not even really a choice, it was on the advice of his doctors and it had to happen.

“He’s plodding along and we are too. This is the best thing I can do for him right now and that comforts me.”

It’s hard to really know what to make of this situation.

Gosselin hasn’t given us a ton of faith that she knows what’s best for her children.

But we’d like to believe Collin is somewhere for a very good reason and therefore we sincerely hope he’s getting the help he needs.

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Kate Middleton: REALLY Having Twins?!

Kate Middleton is definitely pregnant — it’s announced and we’ve seen her royal baby bump. But is she now Duchessing for two … or for three?

As exciting as the thought of royal twins is, we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves.

So we need to look into why people think this, and, if possible, confirm that it’s true.

Just as it’s easy to believe that something is a rumor, it’s also easy to dismiss something because it hasn’t been officially confirmed.

That can so often be a mistake.

After all, back in August, we walked you through a number of reports that strongly suggested Kate Middleton’s pregnancy and explained why we believed it to be true.

(Perhaps the biggest clue was knowledge of Duchess Kate’s severe morning sickness and the news that she’d been quietly rushed to the hospital)

Well, that was only a little over a week later that Kate Middleton’s third pregnancy was officially announced, for real.

Sometimes, listening to rumors (albeit with a careful and critical ear) can really pay off.

Life & Style has reported that Kate Middleton is expecting twins.

Their cover reads:

“Kate’s Big News: She’s Having Twins!”

They report that she’s expecting a pair of identical twin girls, even.

The lure of the twins report is especially strong, because Kate has already given birth twice. The jubilation that results from a royal baby’s birth does experience diminishing returns, normally.

(Kind of like eating cake is great, but if it’s a treat that you have every week, it’s just … nice, rather than incredibly exciting. Not that babies are like cake, necessarily … this diminishing effect applies to almost any good or exciting news)

But twins? That’s a new type of excitement and could not only be an intriguing read, but a refreshing distraction from the UK’s current Brexit nightmare.

Life & Style‘s source also told them that the couple was planning on coordinating the names of the twins, which is good — you don’t want randomly named twins (but you also don’t want their names to be too similar).

So … is this report of twins too good to be true?

At the moment, all signs point to Duchess Kate’s royal womb having only a single occupancy.

Remember when we told you Kate Middleton’s due date?

That was revealed through an official announcement, from Kensington Palace’s verified Twitter account, reading:

“The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are delighted to confirm they are expecting a baby in April 2018.”

(As we noted at the time, an April due date could put this little girl very close in age to Princess Charlotte)

That phrasing is not super ambiguous.

“A baby” is not vague. It’s a simple statement and it certainly appears to be straightforward.

And … if it’s true, which we must assume that it is, that means that Kate Middleton is not expecting twins.

Gossip Cop reports that they reached out to Kensington Palace and that they were able to confirm that Kate is not expecting twins.

But just one royal baby is enough cause for excitement, right?

It should be.

In the mean time, we’ll have the next five months or more to speculate about what sort of name Kate and William’s new royal baby will have.

Will they go with something classic, or start a new traditional name?

Honestly — naming one baby is enough of a responsibility for anyone. But we’re sure that this royal couple is up to the task.

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