Kris」タグアーカイブ

Tiffany Haddish: Watch Her Roast Kris Jenner, Thirst After Chris Pratt!

We already know who won big at the MTV Movie & TV Awards. But there was more going on than awards, folks.

Tiffany Haddish was the hilarious host, and she had some great lines as she roasted everyone from the Kardashians to the Stranger Things kids. It's funny.

You might not trust her around food after this, though. Take a look.

Tiffany haddish hosts the mtv movie and tv awards

Tiffany Haddish is quite a character. Some of her claims and analogies are a little weird, but they always get a laugh.

She starts off by talking about some racial milestones.

"This has been a year of firsts for black people," Haddish says. "I'm the first black woman to host the MTV Movie and TV Awards."

That particular milestone is long overdue.

"Black Panther," she mentions. "Is the first African American movie to make a billion dollars."

That was an excellent movie. One of Marvel's best, in fact.

"And The Quiet Place," Haddish continues. "Is the first film to scare black people out of talking in movie theaters."

She is making a joke, there, about a stereotype that portrays African Americans as vocally engaging with films as they are happening.

Tiffany haddish mtv awards 01

"I'm always excited to see the Kardashians."

"Hiiii," Haddish says, waving at Kim Kardashian, who is wearing problematic braids, and Kris Jenner, whose commanding presence is always welcome.

"That family," Haddish continues. "Is basically the Star Wars franchise."

That's true in lots of senses. They're successful, they're an institution in the entertainment industry, and they can also be very controversial. Also not everyone likes them.

"They make a ton of money, a new one is always popping up, and they’re ruled by a bossy overlord who sleeps in a mask and she loves black men."

Those first two are very true. The third, though?

First of all, Emperor Sheev Palpatine would be the "bossy overlord." I have personally made plenty of comparisons between Kris Jenner and Palpatine — all favorable, of course.

Sleeping in a mask sounds like a reference to Darth Vader (or maybe to Kylo Ren, though he hopefully doesn't sleep in that ridiculous thing).

We're not prepared to rule out that either Palpatine or Darth Vader fetishized black male Humans, but that is certainly above and beyond the realm of Star Wars canon.

Plenty of people were scratching their heads. But hey, it was funny.

Tiffany haddish mtv awards 02

Haddish then turned her attention to another target.

"And you know who else I love?" Haddish asks. "Zendaya."

As the young people say, big mood.

"She taught me how to model," the host informs the audience.

"She taught me how to model," she repeats. "And I taught her how to grapefruit."

If you're fortunate enough to not be aware, to grapefruit involves slicing a grapefruit ring and using it as an improvised sex toy to enhance the experience while performing fellatio.

(Please don't do this; it's a terrible idea, particularly if it is followed by sex, where the fruit juices could ruin a vagina's pH balance)

"What?!" Haddish says in a mock-defensive tone. "She's 21, now. She's a grown woman."

That she is. This joke would not be funny, otherwise. But it is very funny.

"You gotta know how to do that if you want a husband," Haddish explains.

Tiffany haddish mtv awards 03

She also has other celebrity guests on her mind.

"Seth Rogen is here," Haddish announces.

Seth, we should note, is sporting a full beard.

"I like you, Seth," Haddish says. "You're my favorite bearded white man since Abraham Lincoln."

That's cute. And then she moves on.

"The Jonas Brother is here," Haddish announces, to great applause.

She is referring, of course, to Nick. He is famously attractive and the entire audience immediately steels themselves for whatever sex joke she will inevitably make.

"Nick Jonas is going to tear it up with Mustard," Haddish says, referring to the musician beside Nick. "Which is also how I want him to tear it up with me."

While we appreciate her enthusiasm for Nick, we wouldn't recommend involving mustard in sex. That would be worse than grapefruit.

Tiffany haddish mtv awards 04

Haddish also talked about Riverdale.

"Apparently, Betty dates Jughead because he's named after his penis."

(To be honest, that was a reminder to me that actual teens watch Riverdale; everyone I know who talks about it is well into their twenties, at least)

She also had thirst for more audience members than just Nick Jonas.

"I get to flirt with Chris Pratt from Parks and Recreation," Haddish brags. "And Chris Pratt from Guardians of the Galaxy!"

True.

"Hey Chris," she says. "I've got a galaxy you can guard."

It's not subtle.

Honestly, it was much funnier when she was trying to bang Leonardo DiCaprio

Tiffany haddish arrives

Tiffany haddish watch her roast kris jenner thirst after chris p
ReadMore…

Kim Kardashian: Kris Jenner is the Best Momager … I Mean, Mom!

Last week, Kim was trying to explain away Kanye’s MET Gala absence. This weekend, however, was all about her.

Because Sunday was Mother’s Day, folks! Kim posted a sweet tribute to celebrate Kris Jenner for Momager’s Day.

She then shared a wonderful and rare family photo that included all three of her young children. Awww!

Kim shared this platinum selfie, and gave her momager an epic shout-out.

“Happy Mother’s Day to the best mom in the entire world!”

You know, from a lot of people, this would be hyperbole. But she’s talking about Kris Jenner.

Someone has to have the best mom in the world, and Kim and Kourtney and Khloe and Rob and Kylie and Kendall might just be those lucky someones.

“You’ve taught us all how to live life to the fullest and work hard for what you want.”

Kris has certainly done that.

A lot of people may not consider being a reality star to be “work,” but when you’re on camera for as much as 14 hours in a day, that is exhausting.

But the results for the Kardashians speak for themselves.

Kim’s Mother’s Day tribute to Kris continues.

“You’ve always taught us that family above everything!”

The Kardashians are all about family. That has been a huge element of their success and it’s key to their brand.

Kim has more to say to Kris than thanks for making sure that most of her children are money-making machines.

“Thank you for being the best grandma to my kids!”

Kris is now grandmomager to a growing brood of grandchildren, three of whom are Kim’s — North, Saint, and Chicago.

“I love you.”

That is so sweet and the whole note seems to come straight from the heart.

Kim wasn’t done, however, and shared this photo on Instagram with the following message.

“You don’t even understand how many lollipop bribes this pic cost me…”

Those of us who were additional primary caregivers to our younger siblings and anyone who is a parent understands how much work that can take.

Young children are very restless.

“But it was so worth [it].”

It clearly was! This is a precious pic.

“Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.”

Kim is using her own day to celebrate other moms.

“I’m the luckiest mom in the world to have these three babies in my life!”

And let’s talk about those three babies for a moment, because it is so rare for fans to see them all together.

Chicago … well, she’s still a baby. She’s like … half a year old? So she has a sense of object permanence but, if my understanding of normal child development is correct, is probably not saying more than a few words yet.

Then we see North off to the side.

The way that she’s posing coyly … reminds us so much of not just her mother, but of a few of her aunts. She’s not just posing for the camera, she’s modeling.

It’s adorable.

And then, of course, there’s Saint.

He looks so much like Kanye in this photo.

Let’s not give him a hard time about it. Not only is Saint a little kid, but he shouldn’t be blamed for his father’s dumb slavery comments.

Some commenters expressed confusion over Kim’s remark about lollipop bribes. They may not realize that family photos don’t always happen organically.

We can only guess how many attempted photos they took and never ended up using.

Honestly, Kim and Kanye should count themselves lucky that lollipops are still effective bribes for their kids. That won’t work forever.

Fortunately, human motivations don’t end with positive rewards like lollipops, so Kim and Kanye aren’t going to have to promise North her own flying car or whatever when she’s 12 and they want her to do her homework.

The best and most powerful form of motivation is intrinsic motivation, when you do something because you want to.

Judging from the way that North is posing like her model aunts in this picture, we’d say that she’s not going to need to be bribed for photos much in the future.

At the moment, though, she’s still very young and probably struggles to sit still. Even on Mother’s Day.

Kim Kardashian also took to her app to speak about motherhood to her fans.

“I have always been really honest about my struggles with pregnancy.”

She reminds them of exactly why she opted for a gestational carrier.

“Preeclampsia and placenta accreta are high-risk conditions, so when I wanted to have a third baby, doctors said that it wasn’t safe for my — or the baby’s — health to carry on my own.”

She made the right call.

“Having a gestational carrier is definitely different, but anyone who says or thinks it’s the easy way out is completely wrong.”

For some people, it’s a luxury. For her, it was a necessity — but she was reluctant to go through with it.

“People assume it’s better because you don’t have to deal with the physical changes, pain or complications with delivery, but for me it was so hard to not carry my own child, especially after I carried North and Saint.”

We’re glad that things worked out for the best for their family. Chicago is a precious little baby.

ReadMore…

Kris Jenner Gets Emotional: Talking About Khloe and Tristan Makes Me Cry!

Though some wild rumors are floating around, the claim that Kris Jenner is making Tristan Thompson pay for his cheating has yet to be confirmed.

In public, at least, her words are all about Khloe and how extraordinary she is being on her journey as a new mother.

In the video below, Kris even admits that she gets choked up thinking about it.

When Ellen delicately broaches the subject of Tristan Thompson's cheating scandal

"Pretty unexpected, but Khloe is amazing."

Though Tristan was caught cheating with multiple women and it all came out the day before Khloe went into labor, Kris deflects to Khloe's strength.

"I’m so proud of that kid. I get choked up because she’s such a good mom."

Judge for yourself whether or not Kris is actually getting choked up in the video below.

"Honestly, I get so emotional."

We're not going to question that (because I admire Kris but also she terrifies me).

Kris jenner on ellen

Kris talks about her very recent visit to Khloe in Cleveland.

"It was snowing, and she was nestled in in the nursery [with] the baby and she’s just concentrating on that."

Remember last week, when there was still cold weather and people were complaining? Well, now everywhere feels like an oven.

Kris describes Khloe's maternal manner.

"Just being a mom, her baby."

Khloe, of course, is not the only one of Kris' daughters to have welcomed a baby girl this year.

"That’s what her sisters are doing as well."

Kris talks about Khloe's current mood.

"She’s so excited about motherhood."

Kris does, however, reveal that Khloe has encountered a major problem.

She says that Khloe is "trying to get the nursing thing down, which is a little tricky."

Nursing is not as easy as a lot of people make it look. Sometimes, the baby has trouble latching or the mother has trouble lactating. There's a lot involved.

"She’s figuring it out just one day at a time."

But Kris has nothing but good things to say for Khloe's mothering.

"And she’s just the best mom already."

Naturally, Kris is over the moon about her youngest grandchild.

"And that baby is so cute, little True."

Kris jenner and ellen

Ellen asked if Kris and the others are conspiring to avenge Khloe, but Kris says:

"I think we do what we always do and that’s spring into action with love."

Possible translation: Kris certainly isn't going to talk about her elaborate, Bond-villain level plot to exact justice in public.

"We all hopped on a plane and flew to Cleveland, ‘cause that’s what we know to do."

Some people scatter when there's trouble. The Kardashian clan always rallies.

"I’m there to support my kids no matter what happens."

That's why she's the momager.

"I just do the best I can just like anybody else would for their family."

She points out that her family, in addition to having more resources than most, also just has more people.

"There’s a lot of us."

She then makes a major understatement:

"We all get together and we do things together and we’re a force to be reckoned with."

Kris says that she and her family arrived just in time.

"She gave birth within hours after us arriving, it was crazy."

They knew in advance, so she says that they would have been on their way even if it hadn't been for Tristan's scandal.

"It was very exciting, though, at the same time. It was all simultaneously happening."

Khloe was already in labor while they were on the plane.

"We knew she was going to have the baby within the week. I brought the doctor. I had the doctor on the plane and nurse practitioner."

Yes, they dragged a doctor across the country. That's what it's like when you're rich. Also, can you imagine saying no to Kris Jenner? I can't.

"We were calling from the plane, like, ‘What’s going on?’ They were like, ‘She just got her epidural!’ And we were like, ‘What!’"

But they did make it in time to welcome little True into the world. Adorable.

Here is the video, where Kris says all of this and much more:

Kris jenner gets emotional talking about khloe and tristan makes
ReadMore…

Kanye West: Having Explosive Fights With Kris Jenner Over Erratic Behavior?

Lately, fans have been concerned that Kanye West has lost his mind. Reports say that even his family fears that he’s on the verge of another mental breakdown.

But on top of the news that he’s cutting people out of his life comes something more startling.

Whatever’s going on with him has allegedly driven Kanye to do the unthinkable: clash with his momager-in-law.

People reports that Kanye and Kim’s mother are not getting along.

“He’s had huge blow-ups with Kris.”

(I absolutely cannot imagine arguing with Kris Jenner under any circumstances)

“She sees how erratic he’s acting and is most concerned about her daughter’s brand.”

That sounds very, very Kris. And she’s right — Kanye’s behavior makes Kim look bad.

“She’s also trying to be a good mother-in-law, so he’s having explosive issues with her too.”

That is alarming to hear.

“Everyone is really, really worried.”

But not everyone is worried. Another source says that his recent behavior isn’t anything out of the ordinary … for Kanye.

“A lot of this is just Kanye. He’s always been like that.”

It is true that Kanye is infamous for his lack of impulse-control.

Many of those who don’t really listen to his genre of music first heard of him in 2009, when he usurped Taylor Swift’s time at the microphone at the VMAs.

It’s that kind of nonsense on which he has built his brand.

As the source says: “He stirs the pot.”

He sure does.

“Kim is trying to control him and the situation, but he can’t be controlled.”

That much is clear.

“She’s trying her best to support him on social media and show a different side of things, but it’s just not working.”

Unfortunately, it seems that Kanye’s famous ego may be his own undoing.

“He genuinely believes he’s God and a genius and that he can do everything on his own.”

This report claims that his estimation of Kim isn’t quite as high as his estimation of himself.

“He has a great love for Kim, but in his mind he doesn’t think Kim is a genius.”

Ouch.

“And he’s telling her he knows what he’s doing”

Kanye’s egomania and total lack of impulse control may be reminiscent in the minds of many to Trump, whom Kanye apparently once claimed to “love.”

But Kanye is unlike Trump in a couple of major ways. For one thing, he didn’t just inherit his wealth and he’s genuinely successful. For another, he doesn’t pose a clear and present danger to the world.

But also, as a source mentions, Kanye’s wife actually loves him. That can make a huge difference.

The source says that Kim’s tweets aren’t to counter Kanye, but to signal that things are good between them.

“It’s more like [she’s saying] ‘You guys are off.'”

The source emphasizes that Kim is Team!Kanye, all the way.

“She is always loving towards Kanye, always concerned with whatever he’s concerned about, always in his corner.”

“It’s very hard to deal with. He’s all over the place. If you can’t be part of his creative genius, he’ll cut you loose. That’s what he says.”

Another source disagrees, however, and asserts:

“That’s part of being Kanye. He’s willing to take risks with his public persona. He doesn’t take it as serious as the internet takes it.”

So, basically, some people are insisting that this is just business as usual for Kanye. Others worry that this is above-and-beyond what’s normal for Kanye and that he’s headed for another breakdown.

Who is right?

We may find out before too long. We just hope that he comes out of this alright.

And if that’s what he wants, too, we’d advise that he listen to the people who love him.

… And also that he not argue with Kris Jenner. Ever.

ReadMore…

Tristan Thompson: Did Kris Jenner Force Him to Pay $10 Million For Cheating?!

In the wake of Tristan Thompson cheating on Khloe Kardashian with numerous women, it’s safe to say that Tristan has fallen out of favor with … most people.

A new report says that Kris Jenner has found a way to penalize him for it — financially.

And she allegedly has a major threat hanging over his head to keep him from doing this to Khloe ever again.

OK! has an explosive report that claims that Kris Jenner forced Tristan Thompson to sign over some serious cash into a trust for his daughter, True Thompson.

This isn’t a college fund or a childcare agreement.

The reported amount is to the tune of $ 10 million.

In addition, Kris also allegedly got him to agree — on paper, contractually — that he will fork over an additional $ 10 million into this fund every time that he gets caught cheating.

That amounts to massive, automatic punitive damages if he ever steps out on Khloe again.

Allegedly.

A source dishes to OK! on where Kris is coming from.

“She’s been through it all with her girls.”

Having children exposes you to a lot of new experiences. Having six children exposes you to many, many new experiences and can impart valuable lessons.

“And at this point, she knows exactly how to take control, no matter the situation.”

(I once had a dream that Kris Jenner was a queen — a literal queen. A friend remarked: “Oh, so she was just herself.” Accurate)

“Of course Kris hopes the contract will deter him from future bad behavior.”

A $ 10 million penalty is one hell of a deterrent. Unless you’re a corporation.

“But if it doesn’t she’ll make sure there’s a payday for her family.”

It sounds like Kris has a bit of a Xanatos complex. No matter what the outcome, she wins.

Most people’s first question is … can Tristan really afford all of that?

After all, not all famous sportsball dudes make the kinds of riches that so many people assume.

But Tristan is making major money.

His net worth is reportedly about $ 20 million.

And he apparently makes about $ 15 million per year.

That said, Tristan has been benched by the Cleveland Cavaliers. Some say that this is connected to his cheating scandal.

I’m no sports expert, but if Tristan isn’t contributing to his team, how long is he going to continue making $ 15 million per year?

There’s no question that Kris Jenner would go above and beyond to protect Khloe from further embarrassment, betrayal, and heartbreak.

But it sort of defies belief that Tristan — or anyone else — would sign such a document.

The $ 10 million that he would allegedly set aside for his daughter, who will never want for anything in life, would be half his net worth.

And opening himself up to $ 10 million penalties in the future, when he has to know good and well that he’s not going to suddenly have a change in personality and keep his penis to himself?

(Again, this is a guy who allegedly got his side piece pregnant while cheating on pregnant Khloe, whom he started dating while his ex was pregnant)

That would be bonkers.

It sounds more plausible to most that Kris has advised Khloe to take her baby and leave Tristan and Cleveland in the dust and come back to Calabasas as soon as the doctor clears her to fly.

Most people feel that, realistically, it makes the most sense for Khloe to just dump Tristan and he can see their daughter … as often as custody agreements will allow.

After all, Khloe is not known as the forgiving type. And given that this seems to be a long-running pattern for Tristan, it’s difficult to imagine that he’ll change.

(Beyond getting more secretive)

If you want to bang every attractive person you meet, you should either avoid getting into a committed relationship … or find a partner who is totally fine with you, shall we say, putting your ball through other hoops from time to time.

If Khloe isn’t down for sharing her man, she needs to find a man who feels the same way. Also, one who hasn’t humiliated her in front of the entire world.

ReadMore…

Kylie Jenner DESTROYS Claim That Kris Jenner Manages Travis Scott!

Kris Jenner isn’t just a momager — she’s the momager. She’s what all other momagers aspire to be.

But has she taken over managing duties for Travis Scott and Kanye West, now that they’re both part of the Kardashian-Jenner clan? One report claims that she has.

Kylie Jenner is taking a break from working on her post-baby body and is speaking out, calling that story a lie.

Complex discussed a report made on Page Six that claimed that Kanye has left long-time manager Izvor “Izzy” Zivkovic on Kris’ orders.

“They’ve been off and on for years.”

“But Kris is in [West’s] ears. Kanye’s been making changes and [he and Zivkovic] have grown apart — but Kris definitely gives her opinion and Kanye’s all ears.”

That’s an interesting claim.

“She’s about brand building and is gangster at it.”

That part is definitely true.

And the same report claims that Kris is responsible for Travis Scott leaving his own manager.

“She also told Travis Scott to fire Mark Gillespie. They are 100 percent part of that Kardashian-Jenner brand.”

Kylie Jenner Shuts Down Rumors

On Wednesday, Kylie quoted a link to Complex‘s article on the subject, and wrote:

“This isn’t true.”

She followed those words with an emoji of a woman facepalming herself.

While we’re sure that Kylie would much rather spend her time ons ocial media uploading more precious photos of Stormi Webster, but she saw a story and just couldn’t keep quiet about its veracity.

There are a lot of rumors that jumble around about the Kardashians that never earn a Kylie comment, but maybe this one just happened across her screen at the right time.

Or maybe she felt particularly defensive because the story featured both her mother and her baby daddy.

Fans replied to Kylie’s tweet, celebrating her shut-down of the story.

“Queen of ending fake rumors,” one fan tweeted.

Another Twitter denizen replied to that tweet with: “She makes up for it in fake body parts”

Savage.

Curiously, another tweeter replied to Kylie’s tweet with a peculiar question.

“How would you know?”

A couple of fans jumped on that immediately, writing:

“Travis Scott is literally her baby daddy and Kanye is Kim’s husband lmfaoo.”

And another added:

“And Kris Jenner is literally her mom”

Other replies were mixed:

“Queen of confronting rumors we stan.”

To stan someone is to support them zealously; one might stan Britney Spears or Kesha, for example. You know, if they have taste.

“In other news how hot is Kris.”

We would never question Kris’ hotness, but this was an odd reply, given the context.

Another Twitter denizen seemed to be pushing a conspiracy theory.

“They made you tweet this s–t so fast!”

We dare not ask who “they” are; it could mean anything from lizard people to George Soros to the Illuminati (or, somehow, all three).

To be clear, Complex merely discussed the report, and even Page Six‘s report was based upon statements from a source. So it’s not like Kylie was accusing Complex itself of making false claims.

That said … some have wondered if it’s possible that this source has the right of it, and Kylie doesn’t know the whole story.

But we find that hard to believe. Kanye is her brother-in-law. Kris is her mom. Travis is her baby daddy.

It seems more likely that Kylie knows exactly why Travis makes his career decisions related to his management.

And she just wanted to clear that up.

ReadMore…