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Kylie Jenner: Pregnancy Is Making Me SO Ugly!

We’re still getting over the news that Kylie Jenner is pregnant with Travis Scott’s baby. But we’re not alone. Word is that Kylie Jenner’s freaking out about becoming a mom at 20.

But for a social media queen who’s usually considered one of the least shy people on the planet, Kylie has been positively reclusive since her pregnancy news broke.

And now an insider has revealed exactly what’s really going on in Kylie’s mind.

Nobody expected Kylie Jenner to get pregnant at 19 with a rebound guy she’d only been dating for about a month.

(If you did see it coming, congratulations; we’ll be coming to you for advice on all of our future gambling)

But she is, which means that she joins big sisters Kim and Khloe in being expecting a 2018 baby.

This will also be Khloe’s first baby, but Khloe’s not just an adult but an actual grown-up in a long-term relationship. And, despite Khloe’s desire to control everyone else’s life decisions, she might actually be ready for motherhood.

Kylie, on the other hand, is still at an age where she’s not legally allowed to drink or rent a car.

That said, the youngest of Kris Jenner’s spawn seems to have the best instincts in the family when it comes to caring for her pets. That can count for a lot.

But … like all first time parents, Kylie is simply not prepared for what lies ahead of her.

She’s also been wildly secretive, refusing to actually confirm the pregnancy while also going to great lengths to hide her baby bump.

(Don’t worry too much that it’s all a hoax, folks — Kylie’s been spotted with her baby bump in public and witnesses have confirmed that she looks super pregnant)

We’ve long suspected that Kris Jenner orchestrated the news breaking of Kylie’s pregnancy and that she has a big reveal planned.

But there may be more to it.

People‘s source says that Kylie Jenner is feeling insecure right now.

“Kylie is only trusting her closest friends and her sisters right now.”

That makes sense. A life of growing up in the spotlight would teach her to be wary.

“She wants to reveal things on her own terms but she’s of course having fun teasing everyone.”

That would explain the photos in oversized shirts and, of course, that time when she trolled fans with tampons.

“She knows all the attention is on her and her baby bump, but she won’t share until she wants to.”

Well, that’s absolutely her right.

People‘s insider had more to share:

“Travis is so excited about the baby.”

You don’t normally hear about a millionaire man in his twenties being excited that his girlfriend of one month got pregnant.

But if you consider how much Kylie Cosmetics is worth, it makes a bit more sense.

“They’re both trying to enjoy this time for themselves and keep it private as long as they can. They know it’s going to be a frenzy when they do come out.”

It’s already a frenzy, isn’t it?

“Travis is crazy about Kylie and he feels so lucky to have her and the baby.”

Again, we guess that Travis looked at how Blac Chyna’s life has panned out and figures that, one way or the other, he’s now set for life.

(And maybe he really loves Kylie, even though he may have cheated on her)

“The family has been welcoming — they know how important it is to Kylie that everyone gets along.”

Sometimes, you just have to be happy that your loved one is happy and smile even though you know that they’re not making the wisest romantic choices.

But Kylie is apparently taking issue with the way that her body is changing.

“Her body is changing and she’s very self-conscious about it.”

In pregnancy, your body often puts on weight (depending upon your genetics and also on your baby daddy’s genetics, as many of the body’s changes are caused by the placenta). Stretch marks are common. Your bones literally rearrange.

“She’s always been insecure that she’s not as curvy or pretty as her sisters.”

Well, a lot of people have insecurities. Even people like Kylie who, quite frankly, are shockingly and famously gorgeous.

We can see how pregnancy, and the accompanying changes, might not help.

But hey, at least she’s got those pregnancy boobs, right?

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Travis Scott: Caught Cheating On Pregnant Kylie Jenner?!

As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Kylie Jenner is expecting her first child.

The 20-year-old reality star and cosmetics mogul got pregnant by boyfriend Travis Scott, a rapper, singer, record producer, and–if Kris Jenner is to be believed–serial philanderer.

Yes, rumors of Scott cheating on Kylie have been circulating for about as long as the two of them have been dating, and now, at the behest of momager Kris, Kylie is finally taking action.

But sadly, she’s not kicking his ass to the curb.

Instead, she’s taking a totally healthy approach to the situation and putting Scott under 24-hour surveillance.

According to Radar Online, Kylie is “planning on building a house for Scott next door to hers complete with high-tech security cameras that’ll report his every move.”

“She doesn’t want him to live with her in her house, just have him nearby,” one insider tells the site.

“She says it’s to be close to baby but she wants to keep an eye on him too.”

So Travis’ punishment for getting caught cheating is a customized mansion in Calabasas?

We can’t help but picture Tyga grumbling about the raw deal he received as he fashions a thatched newspaper roof for his Frigidaire box abode.

As for Scott’s cheating partner, In Touch identifies her only as a “video vixen” who recently worked with Travis.

Does this mean Kylie is gonna follow Scott to the set and the studio from now on?

What about on tour?

Look, Kylizzle–if dude wants to cheat, he’s gonna find the time.

The second consctruction is complete on his mansion, he’ll probably order a Rita Hayworth poster on Amazon and start chipping away at his bedroom wall with a rock hammer.

The fact that these two are still making a go at a relationship for the sake of the kid is endlessly bizarre to us.

People stay together due to surprise pregnancies all the time, but it’s usually the result of economic necessity or societal expectations.

But Kylie and Travis are both independently wealthy to the point that they could buy a chain of islands and launch their own society if they so choose.

Someone remind this girl that as Alicia Silverstone so memorably opined, this is California, not Kentucky.

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Kylie Jenner Flaunts HUGE Diamond Ring; Is She Engaged?!?

Kylie Jenner has a bun in her oven.

But the 20-year old reality star won’t talk about it.

Kylie Jenner also has a huge diamond ring on her finger now.

And it’s all the Internet is talking about!

En route to sister Kim Kardashian’s baby shower over the weekend, Jenner shared a Snapchat video of herself behind the wheel.

Not exactly the safest idea of all-time, we’re more focused at the moment on the enormous rock that Jenner has placed right in the middle of the frame.

It seems pretty clear Jenner is trying to tell us something by flaunting this new sparkler, is it not?

Kylie, of course, is pregnant with Travis Scott’s baby.

The couple has only been together since March and most followers think they won’t last much longer.

Many have even speculated that the stars have already split because they haven’t been spotted together in public in weeks and because Kylie refuses to confirm her pregnancy.

Might she be hesitant to do so because it’s embarrassing to admit you’re pregnant by an ex-boyfriend?

Or might she have been waiting to do so until this moment? Until Scott popped the big question?

(Third and most likely option: She’s waiting to do so until the optimal time to leverage the pregnancy news for ratings, exposure and money.)

While Kylie is yet to tell the world she’s expecting, she has been dropping hints here and there.

For example, various sources say she has a baby girl in her womb.

And she opened this month by sharing the following snapshot on Instagram:

How very pink of her, right?

Over the past few days, Jenner has shared several images featuring rose-colored décor and a bright pink manicure.

The reality star has claimed the photos were for a Kylie Cosmetics holiday shoot, though, not for any kind of gender reveal.

She’s also alleged that recent paparazzi pictures of an alleged baby bump were Photoshopped, going as far out of her way as possible to delay a pregnancy announcement.

It has to be coming soon, though.

It simply has to be.

Kylie is reportedly due in early spring, which means a baby bump really will be showing any day now.

She can’t wear baggy sweaters forever, especially not when she lives in California, where the temperature almost never drops below 60.

She also can’t keep trolling fans with tampons without eventually earning some backlash.

After all, aren’t the Kardashians and Jenners so popular because they supposedly keep it so very real at all times?

As for Scott, he hasn’t said a word in public about his girlfriend’s pregnancy, either.

But if he has stepped up and proposed… good for him. It would be the right thing to do.

It doesn’t mean we think these two will last, but it does mean they at least acknowledge what a big deal having a baby together would be.

Might as well give the whole marriage thing a shot, no?

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Kylie Jenner: I’m Freaking Out About Becoming a Mom!

2017 is a wild ride. The perfidious predators in Hollywood are getting exposed, but we all live in perpetual anxiety that the world will be destroyed because of an impulsive lunatic. That’s … all kind of depressing.

But Kylie Jenner’s pregnancy, bizarre and unexpected though it may be, is a welcome distraction.

For us. Apparently, Kylie’s finally reached the point where the realities of her condition are starting to freak her out.

Though Kylie and her family are still, for reasons unknown and perhaps beyond the comprehension of us mere mortals, refusing to actually acknowledge it …

The whole world knows that Kylie is pregnant.

We can only assume that her comical efforts to hide her baby bump are a prelude to some “big reveal” that Kris Jenner dreamed up.

(That woman really knows how to turn any unfortunate situation into a huge source of success; in another life, Kris Jenner might have conquered the world by now)

Of course, some are paranoid that Kylie Jenner is faking her pregnancy. Her motives for that would be unclear. Maybe she’s trolling fans or trying to get revenge against the people who report on her life by stringing them along.

That said, people who’ve spotted Kylie Jenner say that she looks pregnant. As well she ought to — she’s reportedly due in just a few months.

And it looks like that looming due date, and the changes to her body, are finally getting to Kylie.

Remember, she’s only 20, and she got pregnant at 19 with a rebound guy she’d been seeing for maybe a month.

There’s a lot to freak out about.

A source tells RadarOnline that Kylie Jenner is over her pregnancy’s honeymoon phase.

“Honestly, Kylie is just an emotional wreck right now.”

Well, that sure isn’t mincing any words, is it?

“She does not know what to do or [whom] to trust, and she is just so vulnerable right now.”

Is the issue about worrying that a “friend” will snap a photo of her baby bump? that could keep her in isolation.

Or maybe Kylie’s having trouble confiding her feelings in people. That could be worse, and much more isolating.

“Her age is really starting to show.”

You know, it’s funny — usually, when we talk about someone’s age showing, we talk about a teacher talking about how handsome Errol Flynn was we talk about someone not knowing who Ariana Grande is.

In this case, it’s not old age that’s allegedly showing — it’s Kylie’s youth and immaturity. 

Sure, people have said “oh, she’ll make a great mom” and praised Kylie for being mature or whatever … but that’s just something that people say.

According to that same source, Kylie’s feeling scared at the moment.

“She does not know how to be an adult, let alone be a mother.”

Remember, Kylie is set to give birth well before she’s old enough to legally drink alcohol in the US.

Yeah, alcohol and pregnancy don’t mix, but the point is that Kylie is really young for someone who’s becoming a mother. And she’s basically never had responsibilities in her life aside from appearing on a reality series.

Other women become moms at her age, but most of those other women have had real jobs before and probably have more realistic ideas of what parenting entails.

But RadarOnline‘s source says that Kylie is feeling isolated.

“She’s feeling so alone!”

Now, all of that sounds believable.

But here’s where it starts to sounds like RadarOnline‘s source is reporting from a parallel universe where everything is all topsy-turvy:

“Kylie is trying to rely on Kris, but Kris has made it clear she simply does not have the time to deal with it.”

That … doesn’t sound like the Kris Jenner whom we have all come to know and love (and fear).

Kris Jenner ignoring her youngest daughter doesn’t sound plausible. Kris Jenner ignoring her pregnant daughter sounds like someone’s fever-dream.

There’s no way that Kris Jenner is unwilling to help Kylie through her pregnancy and her transition into motherhood.

But that doesn’t preclude Kylie from feeling like Kris doesn’t care. Feelings, strange as this may sound, are sometimes less than rational.

Kylie’s dealing with more right now than she’s ever dealt with before.

She has a huge support network available to her; we just hope that she takes advantage of it.

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Kylie Jenner: Trolling Her Fans…With Tampons?!

Last month, the world was shocked to learn that Kylie Jenner is pregnant with her first child,

As the 20-year-old had never previously expressed an interest in having children or, for that matter, anything other than herself, her social media presence, and her cosmetics line, many fans suspected the whole thing might be a farce.

Now, “evidence” that Kylie is “faking” her pregnancy has supposedly emerged on Snapchat–and fans are debating and dissecting this pic like it’s the freakin’ Zapruder film.

Recently, Kylie and some friends took a road trip.

As is customary for young folks hitting the highway, their first stop was at a convenience store, where they loaded up on the kind of snacks you can only eat when you’re 20 or pregnant.

Since Kylie is both (or is she?!), the calorie count crept toward the seven-figure range.

But it wasn’t the fact that Kylie and friends shop like they’re on their way to a party hosted by Seth Rogen and Snoop Dogg that caught fans’ attention.

Kylie Jenner Snap

No, what really stood out about the pic was the item in the top right-hand corner.

Yes, as you can see, someone on the trip bought tampons.

And since the most salacious explanation is that Kylie bought the plunked down for the Playtex because she’s totes not pregnant. that’s the one many fans went with.

We gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed that the tampons belonged to one of her traveling companions.

But as it turns out, everyone was wrong.

Or at least that’s the claim being made by a source who claims to know Kylie best:

“She’s loving the attention of everyone wondering about her pregnancy, she’s having fun teasing people,” the insider tells Hollywood Life.

And why would Kylie engage in such pettiness?

Well, as it turns out she’s bored out of her mind these days

“Kylie definitely isn’t loving every minute of being pregnant, and she’s struggling with Travis being away so much,” the source says.

“He’s doing everything he can to be supportive, but it’s difficult whilst he’s touring.”

Yes, apparently, Queen Kylie has grown weary of this tiresome gestation process and pranking the plebes is the only thing that still entertains her.

Interestingly, Kylie has yet to announce that she’s pregnant, and fans have merely taken her silence on the matter as tacit confirmation that she’s expecting.

Given how bored she is, we can only assume she’s planning to make the announcement in some sort of epic fashion.

So get ready for the 2018 Kylie baby bump calendar!

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Tyga Details Kylie Jenner Sex Tape!

Tyga’s infamous relationship with Kylie is at an end, but that doesn’t mean that Kylie’s stopped being Tyga’s ticket to fame. The makeup mogul and soon-to-be mom was and is the only reason that anyone knows who he is.

Tyga clearly knows that, because his lyrics are clearly all about Kylie.

And Tyga is dropping bombshells about their former sex life — using his lyrics to brag about filming a sex tape with Kylie.

Tyga, the creepy 27-year-old who started dating Kylie when she was just a minor and he was a grown-ass adult no-name rapper, has a new song called “Nigga Wit Money.”

That’s an odd title, not only because only black people can say the full title aloud, but also because Tyga’s money troubles have been very widely reported.

Let’s take a look at some of these charming lyrics, in which Tyga brags about having made a sex tape with the teenage reality star.

“Pour up and then we make a porn (mm mm mm) / Go on and back it up (mm mm mm)”

Assuming that “pour up” is referring to alcohol, drinking ages in Europe make a lot more sense than they do in the US. But enough drinking might interfere with someone’s ability to consent to be in porn.

“Made a movie, we shot it in France / I did it cause I can b—h we was in Cannes (mm mm mm)”

He rhymed “France” with “Cannes” but, honestly, Kyga’s rhyme schemes are the least of his wrongdoings.

The translation is that, as was already rumored to be the case, Tyga and Kylie apparently recorded a sex tape on a yacht, even though they could have been spotted.

“I’m a nigga with money / I’m a nigga with money and I don’t need that b—h (mm mm mm)”

Weird that he says that he doesn’t need Kylie while clearly exploiting her name and fame to bring more attention to his atrocious music.

Just like he did when they were dating.

What a class act.

It’s been reported that Tyga enjoys making these sex tapes with no plans to distribute them.

They’re filmed from his point of view, and we guess that they’re designed to both spice things up in the moment and then allow him to creepily relive his sexploits … even after his breakups.

Consensual sex tapes are all fine and well, but here are a few things that have always made us queasy about the rumored Kyga sex tapes:

One, Tyga is so much older than Kylie and, again, they started dating when Kylie was still a minor. This wasn’t an age difference of a few years, folks. Tyga was 24.

(Let’s hope, for decency’s sake and perhaps even for Tyga’s, that Tyga didn’t turn on the camera until Kylie hit that 18 year milestone)

Two, the inherent inequality of one partner doing the filming, as Tyga is said to do, is a little one-sided and speaks to an unequal power dynamic.

(Which kind of goes hand-in-hand with the creepy age difference)

Three, their breakup was not friendly. We all guessed that it was less than amicable, but if Tyga is writing about Kylie and calling her a b—h in his lyrics, that seems like confirmation that they’re not on great terms.

And there’s something else, too.

We absolutely hate to mention this, but … remember Tyga’s super gross foot fetish?

We do. It haunts our thoughts, driving us to madness.

See, Tyga speaks openly about it.

Apparently the first thing that he checks when he sees a girl are her lips, and the second thing is her toes.

(Thus, Kylie’s habit of wearing shoes that expose her toes or only cover them with see-through materials)

So the fourth thing that makes us uneasy about Tyga’s sex tapes is the very high probability that there’s something somewhere that features Kylie’s feet, front-and-center.

We’re not trying to shame people with foot fetishes (well, maybe a little), but in the context of Tyga and everything in his relationship with Kylie, it’s just extra unpleasant.

Despite everything, we couldn’t help but think of Tyga’s kinks when he sings about how much he loves filming himself having sex.

“Nigga Wit Money,” which again is an audience-limiting and comically ironic title, is part of Tyga’s newly released Buggati Raw mixtape.

Since Kylie Jenner refuses to confirm her pregnancy until whatever grand reveal that she and Kris Jenner have planned, we somehow don’t see her actively commenting on this.

But we have to wonder if Kim and Kanye are going to have an epiphany about how maybe Taylor Swift had a point about not wanting to be called a “b—h” in somebody’s rap.

Probably not, though. People rarely see others, especially those with whom they’re feuding, in the same light that they see their baby sister.

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Kylie Jenner: Proof That She’s FAKING Pregnancy Posted on Snapchat?!

As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Kylie Jenner is pregnant with her first child.

Or is that just what the lame-stream media wants you to believe?

Strap on your tinfoil hat, cue the X-Files theme music, and pop some of those herbal boner pills Alex Jones sells on his show, because it’s loony conspiracy theory time, folks!

Kylie has yet to confirm that she’s pregnant, but the consensus among fans has been that she’s simply waiting for the right time in order to ensure maximum publicity.

(She is Kris Jenner’s daughter, after all.)

But what if there’s a much simpler explanation?

What if Kylie hasn’t confirmed that she’s pregnant because she’s not actually pregnant?

We know. Your head is reeling, just like the first someone told you that Ted Cruz is both the Zodiac Killer and Lee Harvey Oswald, but hear us out.

First of all, we present you Exhibit A:

Kylie Jenner Snap

Kylie posted the above photo on Snapchat, with a caption that reads simply, “GIRLS TRIP!”

It seems innocent enough–until you realize that girls headed straight to the town of Fake Pregnancysburg in the state of Scandals-vania!

Please, look closely at the sundry snacks and assorted foodstuffs that Kylie and her compatriots are purchasing for their trip.

We’ll just be over here pausing menacingly with our hands clasped behind our backs like Law & Order prosecutors.

Notice anything unusual in the upper-right corner, near the Black and Mild flavored cigarillos?

That’s right–tampons, an item that’s generally not purchased by pregnant women!

Add that to the fact that Kylie wants us to believe she hasn’t gained an ounce in the past two months, and we think you’ll that there’s sufficient evidence that the young Ms. Jenner is not with child.

You might be saying to yourself, “But she clearly stated that she’s taking a trip with a group of her girlfriends. Maybe the tampons are for someone else.”

Or maybe you’re thinking, “Well, or course Kylie doesn’t want to admit to gaining any weight. She is a member of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, after all.”

And maybe you have a point, skeptical hypothetical reader.

But we say this to you: 

What’s more fun to believe: that Kylie is actually pregnant and just keeping an uncharacteristically low profile, or that this whole thing is an elaborate charade that’s soon to blow up in Kris Jenner’s face and bring the entire Kardashian empire crumbling down?

We’re following the first rule of celebrity gossip here, folks:

Drama is always more important than facts.

We rest our case.

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Kylie Jenner: Huh? I Don’t Have a Baby Bump!!!

Kylie Jenner may have gotten pregnant by accident…

… but the 20-year old now has a very clear purpose:

To break the actual news of this pregnancy on her own terms.

We’re way beyond this being an achievable goal, of course.

Nearly every website on the Internet has written about Kylie being pregnant, with word already leaking about the gender of her impending baby (a girl), along with its due date (early spring).

Still. Kylie has not confirmed the development. Nor has anyone in her family.

And the reason why is obvious:

They want to sell the story either to the highest tabloid bidder… or make the announcement on Keeping Up with the Kardashians or maybe even Life of Kylie Season 2.

The family wants to maximize ratings, money and exposure.

However, The Daily Mail published photos on Sunday morning of Kylie boarding a private plane, wearing some baggy clothing and appearing larger than usual.

There’s a pretty clear baby bump in these snapshots.

But not according to Kylie!

Peeved over the outing of her expecting stomach by this British newspaper, Jenner took to Instagram in response and alleged the Daily Mail pictures were edited.

“First of all if you’re going to photoshop my photos blogs/paps!! Check for the crooked lines in the background.2nd photo is clearly altered,” she wrote.

As some kind of evidence (we guess?) that she doesn’t actually have a baby bump at the moment, Kylie then shared a photo of herself in this same baggy outfit, apparently hanging out at a convenience story with half-sister Khloe.

The images in question were taken by a photographer from X17Online.

The photo agency has responded to Kylie’s accusations of Photoshop as follows:

“100% REAL! No Photoshop, #nofilter, no additives, no preservatives—all organic and all REAL!”

And then The Daily Mail has written the following:

“DailyMail.com can confirm the pictures have not been digitally altered.”

Folks are welcome to believe either side in this debate, of course.

But most Internet users appear to be on to Jenner.

Based on the comments below, they understand that Kylie is just trying to delay the baby bump/pregnancy reveal until it works best for her financially…

Kylie Jennercriticism

Assuming she really is expecting, this will be Kylie Jenner’s first child.

The father is Travis Scott, a rapper Kylie only first started dating a few months ago.

We’re pretty sure the couple is still an item, but they actually haven’t been seen in public very much since the major news broke.

And Scott hasn’t confirmed it, either.

So we’re stuck playing this very silly waiting game, with the entire free world well aware that Kylie Jenner is pregnant, yet Kylie and her family trying to pretend otherwise until the perfect moment.

Whatever, though.

Click below to learn various facts that the Kardashians and Jenners won’t tell you:

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