Golf-related marital disputes have been the subject of thousands of hacky standup routines and Family Circus cartoons, but Krista Glover took the trope to a new level over the weekend when she was arrested for assaulting her husband, pro golfer Lucas Glover.
But Krista’s issue wasn’t that Lucas decided to hit the links instead of instead of joining her ar Bed Bath & Beyond to look at duvet covers.
No, her beef was that the 2009 U.S. Open champion performed like a total beta-cuck on the back nine, standing idly by as scores of superior alpha golfers beat him to the hole.
Anyway, we assume that’s what was going through the mind of full-blown psychopath Krista, as she drunkenly attacked Lucas and his elderly mother (!!!) after he failed to make the 54-hole cut at The Players Championship on Saturday.
Krista, 36, was arrested on domestic assault and resisting arrest charges, having allegedly gone ballistic on Lucas as a result of his poor performance.
According to a police report obtained by TMZ, Krista began by verbally attacking her husband, calling him a “loser” and p-ssy.”
It wasn’t long before the situation got physical, with Krista throwing punches at Lucas until his mother, Hershey Glover, stepped in to try and break up the fight.
At that point, of course, Krista turned her attention to Hershey and started raining blows upon the old woman because golf.
This all allegedly took place in front of Krista and Lucas’ two chldren, aged 2 and 5.
“When he plays a bad round of golf, Krista proceeds to start an altercation with him and telling him is a loser and a p-ssy, how he needs to fire everyone, and how he’d better win or her and the kids would leave him and he would never see the kids again,” Hershey told police.
Correctly guessing that the media would latch onto this story as tenaciously as Krista grips her eighth gin and tonic and weaponized fireplace poker, Lucas decided to address the situation on Twitter:
“On May 12, my wife and mother were involved in an argument to which the police were called,” he tweeted.
“Everyone is fine. Regrettably, although Krista was charged, we are comfortable that the judicial system is able to address what actually happened and Krista will be cleared in this private matter,” the golfer added.
“We thank you for respecting our privacy as we work through this unfortunate situation.”
Luke, maybe you’d succeed in convincing the world to move on if there weren’t two young kids involved, but we’re thinking no one’s gonna leave this alone until you kick Krista to the curb.
She might go full Elin Nordegren on your windshield as you pull out of the driveway, but what’s the alternative?
We’re afraid leaving Krista’s psycho ass in the dust is the only way to ensure you’ll be able to protect your kids or enjoy a round of golf without worrying about someone shattering a full bottle of pinot grigio over your head the second you get home.