Scheana Marie Explains Rob Valletta Obsession: I Was on Drugs!

If you’ve been watching Vanderpump Rules this season, then you may be under the impression that Scheana Marie has had one thing and one thing only on her mind.

We’re talking, of course, about Rob Valletta and his uncanny ability to count a TV on the wall in 7 minutes flat.

Scheana’s obsession with Rob has reached the level where some fans are genuinely concerned about her mental health.

But despite all appearances to the contrary if you scanned Scheana’s brain, the monitor wouldn’t show an endless loop of shirtless Rob securely attaching a 32-inch Samsung above a fireplace.

No there would also be interludes in which Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson hang on Scheana’s repeat the same boring-ass anecdotes ad nauseum.

You see, Scheana isn’t just obsessed with Rob; she’s also obsessed with the devil’s lettuce.

And she says the reason she’s prattled on about Rob literally every freakin’ time she’s been on camera this season is that her weed-addled brain simply can’t keep track of which stories she’s already told.

Appearing on Heather McDonald’s podcast this week, Scheana responded to the inevitable question of why she was perpetually unable to up shut about Rob, despite the fact that her friends weren’t even pretending to be interested in what she had to say.

“I watch it and I just want to reach in the TV, grab Scheana on Vanderpump Rules and strangle her and be like ‘Shut up!’” joked Scheana.

“Here’s my excuse. Look y’all, I smoke a lot of weed. I tend to repeat myself a lot.  I forget things a lot. And I think I was just so impressed by him that I just kept saying it over and over again.”

Here’s the thing:

We appreciate that the cast of Vanderpump is showing their progressive side by openly talking about their love for the jazz cabbage, but Scheana blaming her stalker mentality on too much THC is quite lame.

These days, Rob and Scheana are broken up, and while she says she’s still holding out hope for a reconciliation (of course), she’s also finally willing to discuss the specifics  of their split.

And naturally, she blames the whole thing on her castmates.

As you may recall, one of the first dust-ups of this drama packed season had to do with allegations that Rob cheated on Scheana with a random hostess.

While he denied the accusations and she believed him, Scheana says she now believes that confrontation was the beginning of the end of their relationship.

“I stepped outside and I called him. I was like ‘look, I just got to tell you something, obviously I don’t believe it,’ thinking that he’d be like these girls are so silly. But no,” Scheana recalled.

“Sadly, like literally, his switch just went to off in that moment on that phone call,” she revealed. “And when he got back, nothing was ever the same.”

Sheana and Rob continued to date for several months, but from the way she describes t, that period consisted of her clinging to the corpse of a long-dead relationship:

“I kept telling myself that everything was fine and he would get over it, that he just needed a little bit of time. And then a week [passes], and then two weeks, and he just never became himself again,” she told McDonald.

“And after filming wrapped, about two weeks later, he broke up with me.”

As for the specifics of how he cut loose – well, it’s unfortunate that it dumping wasn’t caught on tape because this is a textbook case of “he’s just not that into you.”

“I was over there [at his place], it was fantasy football time and that was priority that night,” Scheana said.

“So he was literally doing his drafts and I’m just sitting there like are we going to talk? Like what’s going on? And finally he finished picking his players and I was cut and traded.”

We assume that joke was followed byu an extended crying jag.

Watch Vanderpump Rules online to remind yourself of just how psychotic Scheana became at one point.


Rob Valletta Opens Up About “Obsessed” Scheana Marie

If you’ve been watching Vanderpump Rules recently, then you know the season’s most compelling storyline revolves around the doomed relationship between Scheana Marie and Rob Valletta.

Now, before we go any further, it’s important to note that sometimes, reality stars become the victims of bad editing and are portrayed in a fashion that’s inconsistent with their real life behavior.

But that’s not what happened with Scheana.

It couldn’t have happened with Scheana.

Unless she was forced to read scipted lines at gunpoint, or what we’ve seen this season is a flalwess CGI rendering of Scheana, then those words really formed in her brain and came out of her mouth.

Which means the aspiring pop star went through a period of time in which she was deeply, troublingly obsessed with Rob Valletta.

Fortunately, Valletta got out before coming home to find an al denté pet rabbit waiting for him on the stove.

Yes, Rob dumped Scheana just a few months into the relationship that she was so sure would end in marriage.

(Homegirl even named their future kids after a few weeks of dating, which we’re pretty sure is literally a scene from that movie where Kate Hudson tries to scare off a pre-McConnaissance McConaughey.)

The breakup didn’t surprise anyone, but the fact that Rob hasn’t since changed his name and relocated to the Alps is downright shocking.

Not only has Rob decided to roll the dice by remaining in the States, he’s even been openly discussing his breakup on social media.

Fortunately, Rob is aware that the first rule of dealing with potential psychopath is “don’t say anything that might set them off.”

Asked by a fan if he’s happy he broke with Scheana, Rob went the diplomatic route, replying:

“No one is ever happy when they break up with anyone if they truly care.”

That’s good. This dude might have to give up his career in TV wall-mounting to run for office.

Rob was considerably more terse (and less truthful) when asked if he believes Scheana was obsessed with him.

Rob replied simply, “No.”

He went on to dash any hopes for a reconciliation, however, saying that he rarely speaks with Scheana these days.

Asked about The Divorce Closet, the website that he planned to launch with Scheana that would enable divorced couples to sell their items online, Rob said he’s planning to ahead with the project, but Scheana has chosen not to invest.

Sadly, he didn’t answer any questions about why the hell divorced couples can’t just sell their sh-t on eBay.

Watch Vanderpump Rules online to relive Rob and Scheana’s tumultuous (and often terrifying) relationship.


Lisa Marie Presley Ordered to Pay Estranged Husband Michael Lockwood $100k

Lisa Marie Presley has to ante up $ 100,000 to her estranged husband … a particularly difficult task since she says she’s flat broke. The judge in her divorce case ordered the payment to Michael Lockwood within 30 days. It’s unclear how she’ll pay…


Lisa Marie Presley Ordered to Pay Estranged Husband Michael Lockwood $100k

Lisa Marie Presley has to ante up $ 100,000 to her estranged husband … a particularly difficult task since she says she’s flat broke. The judge in her divorce case ordered the payment to Michael Lockwood within 30 days. It’s unclear how she’ll pay…


Scheana Marie: SLAMMED For Delusional Relationship With Robert Valletta!

If you’ve been watching Vanderpump Rules this season, then you’re likely aware that Scheana Marie was dating Robert Valletta during filming.

It’s pretty much impossible to miss this fact, as every word out of Scheana’s mouth has had something to do with Rob.

Yes, despite the fact that she was not yet divorced from Mike Shay at the time, Scheana fell head over heels for Rob over the summer.

Unfortunately, it seems like the attraction was primarily one-way.

While Scheana has spent much of the season gleefully describing Rob’s penis and television-mounting skills to her increasingly uninterested friends, Valletta has pretty much behaved like the human embodiment of the phrase “he’s just not that into you.”

This is the woman who rose to fame by banging a married Eddie Cibrian and then grinned her way through a disastrous, short-lived marriage, so it’s not like we’re used to seeing her in healthy relationships.

But even by her own manic standards, Scheana’s behavior has been absolutely bonkers this season.

Needless to say, fans have taken notice.

“Is it embarrassing for you to watch the show and see how pathetic you look chasing Rob and not even being with him anymore when you acted like you were married already?” wrote one user on Scheana’s Instagram page.

“Tonight’s episode f-cking embarrassing!!! [You’re] delusional and need professional help!!!” opined another commenter.

“This season is hard to watch. I’ve never seen someone come across so desperate and insecure. Honest to God I’ve never seen anything like it,” remarked a third.

The situation is made even more cringe-worthy by the fact Scheana and Rob broke up before the current season of Vanderpump even made it to air.

The 32-year-old former pop singer has been outspoken in her own defense, claiming that she’s simply a victim of bad editing.

Fans remain unconvinced because of course Scheana is defending herself.

So now Rob is speaking out on his ex’s behalf, and basically telling viewers to STFU:

“A lot of people are watching a TV show that was shot months ago, and TV shows are shot to create drama and intrigue. No one knows what happens behind closed doors and or when the cameras are off,” he tweeted this week.

It’s hard to think of a more self-defeating phenomenon than the weird habit reality stars have of informing the public that their popular reality show is total bullsh-t.

We know producers have gone to great lengths to convince us Rob is a Super-Successful Hollywood Guy, but really this is the only project he’s ever been involved with that people have actually seen.

If you don’t believe us, just check out his Wikipedia page.

Oh wait … you can’t because Famous Actor Man doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. In 2018.

Look, we’re sure Rob does alright for himself at … whatever it is he actually does for a living, but maybe he and Scheana should both pipe down and learn to shrug the hate off a bit.

Watch Vanderpump Rules online to relive Scheana’s season of denial.