Meghan Markle to Prince Harry: Do NOT Invite Your Ex to Our Wedding!

We’re just four months away from Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s wedding, and it seems all the royal details are beginning to fall into place.

Planning a wedding is rough under any circumstances, but we’re sure the task is especially daunting when every detail will be judged by the entire world, and not just your cranky aunt Meryl.

Plus, royal nuptials probably entail all sorts of weird customs involving swords and foods that are called pudding, but totally aren’t pudding.

Obviously, in many ways, Meghan and Harry’s wedding will be unique.

But there are some challenges that face every engaged couple, be they a prince and an actress, or two Olive Garden servers who still haven’t signed that form Brad gave them so that corporate knows they’re dating.

In all cases, the man-and-wife-to-be must agree on a guest list.

Always a tricky proposition, but especially treacherous territory for Harry, who’s shagged half of merry old England.

It seems the big question in the British tabloids these days concerns Harry’s two most famous exes and whether or not they’ll be in attendance when he says “I do.”

Harry broke up with Chelsy Davy way the hell back in 2007, but they’ve reportedly remained friends in the decade since.

Shortly thereafter, Harry dated Cressida Bonas, and that split was not quite as amicable.

And apparently, that will make all the difference when it comes time to mail out invitations, which we assume will arrive not by peasant post, but via Hogwarts owls or something.

“[Harry and Meghan] will be going through the list carefully,” a source tells Us Weekly.

“Don’t expect to see Cressida invited —the two didn’t remain friends— but do not be surprised if Chelsy shows up with a date. The two have remained friends long after ending their relationship and still keep in touch to this day.”

Yes, it seems Chelsy will make the cut, while Cressida will be marking the occasion the same way as the rest of us by using it as an excuse to day drink.

As a testament to Meghan’s coolness, it seems she’s already given the thumbs up to Chelsy, who contacted Harry shortly after the engagement:

“She congratulated him the minute the engagement news was announced,” says the insider.

“Meghan would have no problem with her being there and Chelsy was on the preliminary list of friends to invite.”

Inviting exes to weddings is generally a bad idea, but apparently, that’s just one of the many ways that Harry and Meghan will be suing their nuptials to remind everyone they’re the world’s tamest rebels:

“With the wedding, they both want to do things their way. While they will always be mindful of traditions and the views of their elders, the day is ultimately about them and what they want to do,” the insider told Us.

“The day of the wedding itself will certainly hold a few unconventional surprises. Don’t expect a royal wedding by numbers. They want to involve their friends and family as much in as much as possible throughout the day.”

These aren’t your grandparents’ guardians of a horribly antiquated institution, folks!

Word has, it these two will buck tradition by not riding to the church on the backs of the poor and only changing costumes 14 times, instead of the customary 92.



Meghan Markle Will “Taint” Royal Family with Her “Black Seed,” Horrible Girlfriend of British Politician Warns

As it turns out, not everyone loves Meghan Markle.

As it also turns out, not everyone is tolerant of people who are not Caucasian.

A pretty major flap has arisen in Great Britain after The Daily Mail obtained text messages from a woman named Jo Marney.

She is (or was, keep reading…) the girlfriend of a British politician named Henry Bolton and she GOES OFF on Markle in these explicit messages, writing the kinds of things one would expect to only hear from Donald Trump.

(Just kidding. Sort of.)

An ex-model, Marney refers to Markle in these texts as Prince Harry’s “black American fiancee,” adding that she will “taint” the Royal Family with “her seed.”

No, seriously. She wrote all that.

She also said Markle will pave the way for a “black king” to rule the nation.

It’s unclear to whom Marney is texting, but when she gets called out for being awful and racist, she responds as follows:

“lol so what. Not wanting other races and cultures to invade your own culture doesn’t mean I hate their race. Just means I don’t want their cultures invading mine.”

It’s a fine line, apparently.

(Marney also says that she would never have sex with “a negro” because they are “ugly,” but, hey, she doesn’t have any issues with that race, okay?!?)

Bolton, meanwhile, is a 54-year old leader in The UK Independence Party who some citizens wanted to resign even before this new scandal hit…because he left his wife and two kids for the 25-year old Marney.

He has broken up with his girlfriend in the wake of this public flap, but he may still be ousted by the party’s ruling National Executive Committee on Thursday.

If this happens, it would leave the party having to elect its fifth leader in just over a year and a half.

Here is a photo of the controversial former couple:


In a statement to The Mail, Marney apologized and claimed her comments had been taken out of context, which is pretty hilarious.

This is what she wrote for her mea culpa:

“No offense was intended and, again, I apologize unreservedly for any such offense or hurt that my messages have caused to members of the public, members of Ukip, my friends, family and loved ones.”

Markle’s father is white and her mother is African-American.

Sadly, she has faced a great deal of harassment concerning her mixed heritage ever since entering the spotlight as Harry’s girlfriend.

In November of 2016, the Internet trolls grew so loud in their racism that Prince Harry instructed Kensington Palace to issue a strongly worded statement in regards to a “wave of abuse and harassment.”

“It is not right that a few months into a relationship with [Prince Harry] that Ms. Markle should be subjected to such a storm,” this statement read, adding:

“He knows commentators will say this is ‘the price she has to pay’ and that ‘this is all part of the game.’ He strongly disagrees.

“This is not a game – it is her life and his.”

In their first joint interview as an engaged couple, Markle and Harry addressed this topic.

They remained level-headed about it and are refusing to let horrible people such as Marney influence their happiness in any way, shape or form.

“At the end of the day I am proud of who I am and where I have come from and we have never put any focus on that, we have just focused on who we are as a couple,” said the actress at the time.

Good for her.

And very bad for Marney. Very, very, very, very bad.


Meghan Markle and I are Totes Tight, Half Sister Alleges

With all the talk surrounding Meghan Markle and the family into which she’s about to become a member, a certain someone would like to remind folks about Meghan Markle’s actual family.

And that certain someone is her half-sister, Samantha Grant.

Grant has become somewhat of a celebrity herself ever since Markle entered the mainstream conversation early last year.

She has been granting interviews and trying to get her name out there on a frequent basis for several months now.

In the latest case of Grant attempting to capitalize off her sibling’s fame, Grant sat down and spoke to Fox News about various rumors surrounding the soon-to-be Mrs. Prince Harry.

“Don’t believe anything you read in tabloids,” Grant says. “Those stories are written to create controversy and sell magazines.”

In this initial case, the topic at hand was chatter that Markle would be walked down the aisle by her mother, NOT her father, because she isn’t especially close to her dad.

(The former actress’ parents have been divorced for years.)

“My father, when we see these tabloids, and it’s every day, we just roll our eyes,” Grant explains, adding:

“There are so many rumors, like Meghan doesn’t get along with her dad or he’s reclusive. He’s not.

“They talk regularly… Her relationship growing up with him was great. It’s still great now.”

Thomas Markle lives a quiet life in Mexico and is on record as saying he would love to walk Markle down the aisle on her wedding day, which is scheduled for May 19.

“My father is very close to Meg,” continued Grant, elaborating:

“All of that perception created by the press is a horrible, despicable lie… It’s really unfortunate and it has caused the family a lot of pain… It’s atrocious.

“And if I’ve had billions of dollars, there are about 50 publications I would go after and sue… But I’m in a wheelchair. I don’t have time or energy to be doing all of that.”

Grant has been offered a TLC special and has claimed in the past that she plans to write a tell-all about Markle.

Many quickly assumed this memoir (titled “The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister”) would be a hatchet job, but Grant now insists she’s been misunderstood.

And so has the relationship between her and Markle, who did not grow up in the same house because they are 17 years apart in age.

“My relationship with my sister for a while was really hurt because of the perceptions out there,” says Grant.

“And I have to say, my book’s not what all of these people are saying it is… Just because it has the word ‘pushy’ doesn’t mean it’s a slamming tell-all… I was making fun of the tabloids…

“My goal is really to show how lovely and amazing she is. I look forward to the both of us hopefully laughing over this.”

What about the rumor that Grant and Markle have not spoken in a decade?

“We spoke in 2014,” Samantha swears.

“That doesn’t make us estranged by a decade… When you got someone in the family who is famous, just because they jet-set and have a busy, distracting life, it doesn’t mean anyone in the family is estranged…

“Our families have always been very much in touch. And certainly growing up, we were very close.”

Still… they haven’t talked in four years?!?

Grant simply chalks this up to Markle being “busy” with her career, which took off thanks to her role on the USA Network hit Suits.

In conclusion, Grant thinks she’ll be invited to Markle and Harry’s wedding.

“I would be honored and to the best of my knowledge, I’m going [to the wedding],” she says.

“That’s all I will say… I [still] see her as my little Meggie. She’s a woman now, but I still see her as my baby sister.”

We think Samantha may be in for a major disappointment.


Meghan Markle Deletes Social Media Accounts, World Wonders Why

Meghan Markle has gone radio silent.

Or, to be more specific to the year 2018, Meghan Markle has gone Twitter, Instagram and Facebook silent.

The question this has prompted from the public is a simple one…


The former USA Network actress surprised her social media followers on Tuesday afternoon when she deactivated all three of her aforementioned accounts.

She did so after attending her first royal engagement of the year with Prince Harry.

Moreover, this social media blackout comes about nine months after she closed her lifestyle blog, The Tig, along with its corresponding social media pages.

What is the line of thinking here?

It may be that Markle is sick of trolls harassing her about every little thing, but it also may just be due to how significant her life has already changed.

Come May 19, Markle will officially be a member of The Royal Family.

She can’t just share random photos or even inspirational messages at that point.

Those are a part of this unique clan are basically always spoken for by Kensington Palace, which does have a Twitter account and which shares such pertinent information as Markle and Harry’s wedding date.

Wrote Markle upon ending The Tig:

“After close to three beautiful years on this adventure with you, it’s time to say goodbye.

“What began as a passion project (my little engine that could) evolved into an amazing community of inspiration, support, fun and frivolity.

“You’ve made my days brighter and filled this experience with so much joy.”

The beautiful star founded the website in 2014, with her favorite red wine inspiring its name: Tignanello.

“Keep finding those Tig moments of discovery, keep laughing and taking risks, and keep being ‘the change you wish to see in the world,” Meghan wrote at the time, concluding:

“Above all, don’t ever forget your worth. As I’ve told you time and time again: you, my sweet friend, you are enough.”

Since agreeing to be Mrs. Prince Harry in a few months, Markle has retired from acting and talked excitedly about her next step in life.

Not just as Harry’s wife, but as a very public figure on a mission.

Meghan has said she plans to focus her attention on charitable initiatives, even if acting will always have a place in her heart.

“I don’t see it as giving anything up. I just see it as a change,” she said in a BBC interview after announcing her engagement.

She added:

“It’s a new chapter, right? And also, keep in mind, I’ve been working on [Suits] for seven years. We were very, very fortunate to have that sort of longevity on a series…

“I’ve ticked this box, and I feel very proud of the work I’ve done there, and now it’s time to work with [Harry] as a team.”


Meghan Markle Blindsides Royals With Unusual Wedding Request!

As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will soon be married, thus signaling the start of both the American takeover of the royal family and the launch of an exciting new reality series/Suits mashup entitled Royal Flush.

Okay, we may have made those last parts up, but the important thing is, Harry and Meghan’s wedding date and venue are set, and the royal-watchers of the world couldn’t be happier.

Of course, this also means the couple is under even greater scrutiny than before.

The Meg Mob wants to know every detail of the planning process, and they won’t be deterred by the fact that the actress would quite understandably like to keep certain things under wraps.

In recent weeks, questions about Meghan’s family have been circulating on social media, and while most public figures would shoot down the rumors of dysfunction, Ms. Markle is being admirably candid about the situation.

She’s made no secret of the fact that she’s not close with her sister, Samantha Markle, who’s using Meg’s sudden international fame to get her writing career off the ground with a tell-all memoir. Classy.

As for her parents, Meg has mostly managed to patch things up with her largely absentee father in recent years, but he rarely leaves the house, and it remains unclear if he’ll be in attendance at the wedding.

Fortunately, Meghan and her mother, Doria Ragland, are extremely close–so close, in fact, that Meg reportedly wants Doria to walk her down the aisle.

It’s a non-traditional decision, but of course, as a divorced American actress, Meghan is a non-traditional bride.

It’s not currently clear how the royals feel about her request to have her mother play such a large role in the ceremony, but sources say the royals are so utterly charmed by Meg that they’re unlikely to interfere with her plans.

Her parents have mostly kept quiet about their daughter’s upcoming wedding.

Though they’re divorced, Doria and Meg’s dad, Thomas Markle, issued a brief joint statement after news of their daughter’s engagement went public:

“We are incredibly happy for Meghan and Harry. Our daughter has always been a kind and loving person. To see her union with Harry, who shares the same qualities, is a source of great joy for us as parents,” they said at the time.

“We wish them a lifetime of happiness,” they added, “and are very excited for their future together.”

Other than that, the only word from Meghan’s dad comes from some Daily Mail reporters who caught up with him while he was purchasing beer and cigarettes near his home in Toronto.

“I’m very pleased,” said the “reclusive” 73-year-old when asked about Meg’s wedding.

“I’m delighted.” 

Whoa, Meg’s father is a recluse who only leaves the house to buy beer and cigarettes?

Not only should he be the one giving Meghan away, but his daughter should immediately call things off with Harry and hold off on getting married until she finds a guy who’s more like dear old dad.


Meghan Markle: Why Her Father is Royally Upset at Prince Harry!

Hey, so, remember how Prince Harry kind of threw shade at Meghan Markle’s family?

Apparently, his offhand comment about how well his fiancee was getting along with his family managed to enrage all of his in-laws.

Including Meghan Markle’s father, who is reportedly “extremely hurt.”

Recently, the Ginger Prince himself spoke about how well Meghan Markle was getting along with the royal family.

Unfortunately, Harry may have gone a little too far in his praise.

At one point, he said this:

“She’s getting in there and it’s the family that I suppose she’s never had.”

That seems like a tremendous insult hurled at Meghan’s family — his future in-laws.

And it’s not going over well.

Thomas Markle Jr. reports to The Daily Mail that his father, Thomas Markle, is “extremely hurt” by Prince Harry’s words.

He spoke up in defense of his father’s family skills.

“He dedicated the majority of all his time and everything to her.”

Thomas Jr. is 51; 15 years older than Meghan. That tremendous age gap makes us wonder just how close they were.

“He made sure she had what she needed to be successful and get to where she’s at today.”

Having what you need to become successful isn’t all there is to family.

Thomas Jr. continues to defend his dad and Meghan’s upbringing.

“She’s had a really good family.”

Wendy Williams has pointed out that Meghan Markle’s family has had its … troubles, to say the least.

“We were as close as we could be, as tight as we could be, that’s what we were.”

Those are some interesting qualifiers for Thomas Jr. to use.

“We’d get together on Christmases, on holidays, on birthdays, on Thanksgivings.”

That sounds like the relationship that most people have with cousins who live out of state, not with their immediate family.

“It was always somewhere, even though we lived in different parts of [Los Angeles], we still all got together.”

We should probably mention that Thomas Jr. hasn’t actually spoken to his sister since 2011.

That’s nearly 7 years, folks.

“Obviously, she had a family. She was very privileged. She got everything she ever wanted.”

It’s always suspicious to hear one person say that another always got whatever they wanted. No one can speak to that but the person in question.

“We did the best that we could in terms of getting together for holidays and whatnot.”

Thomas Jr. follows up his defense of the Markle family by adding that he’d really love an invitation to the royal wedding.

“I don’t know if she gets to invite who she wants. But she’ll reach out if she wants me there, she’ll call me.”

That seems less likely after this interview, don’t you think?

“She knows where to find me. But that’s up to her, there’s no pressure.”

By virtue of saying this in an interview, he’s applying pressure. But he also makes it clear that his interest in attending the wedding is hardly personal:

“I wouldn’t mind seeing my little sister have the biggest wedding in the world. That would be incredible. … If my dad doesn’t walk her down the aisle, then I will.”

Before Thomas Jr. talked about how neat it would be to see his estranged sister get married, another Markle had already weighed in.

Meghan Markle’s half-sister clapped back at Prince Harry. Apparently, that’s just Samantha Grant’s style, as she said:

“She has a large family. She always did. Our dad is amazing and completely self sacrificing. We made it so that she had two houses. How fun it was!”

Look, you can put a positive spin on divorce all that you like. Sometimes, a divorce is the best thing that ever happens to a family.

But just because you’re happy with the way that things were doesn’t mean that everyone was.

If, as appears to be the case, Meghan has told Harry less-than-happy feelings about her family growing up, those are her experiences to share.

It’s wildly uncool for her siblings to “correct” her feelings just because they want their names in some headlines.


Kate & Pippa Middleton: Feuding Over Meghan Markle?!

If you believe every tabloid story, Meghan Markle is creating more waves within the royal family than Henry VIII ever did.

Ever since Meghan and Prince Harry got engaged last month, the press has had Meg creating drama pretty much non-stop.

To hear the tabloids tell it, the royal family is like a soap opera with declining ratings, and Meghan is the sexy wild card that the writers bring in to stir things up.

First, it was widely reported that Meghan was feuding with Kate Middleton.

After Kate and Meghan were photographed together while apparently thoroughly enjoying one another’s company, the press was forced to change its tune.

Now, several outlets are claiming that Meghan and Kate are getting along too well–and Kate’s sister, Pippa Middleton, is not happy about it.

According to In Touch, Kate and Meg are inseparable these days, and the situation has Pippa feeling like the odd woman out.

“They used to do everything together and speak daily,” an insider tells the tabloid.

“But now that Meghan lives practically under the same roof as Kate at Kensington Palace, the dynamics have changed and Pippa feels shoved out.”

The source says Pippa voiced her complaint to Kate, but the Duchess was having none of it.

“Kate fought back and told Pippa that it’s her duty to make Meghan feel welcomed,” the insider claims.

Yes, apparently Kensington Palace is the coolest table in the cafeteria, and Kate is basically Regina George.

The situation may sound ridiculous, but so does the idea of a country having a royal family in 2017.

While all of this is going on, Meghan has her own drama back in the States, and no, we’re not talking about Suits.

Earlier this week, Harry threw shade at Meghan’s family, and now, the actress’ ever-shady half-sister Samantha Markle is publicly capping back.

Like we said, the reports about Meghan are sounding more and more like cheesy soap storylines, and we couldn’t be happier about it.

It’s not that we want her life to be filled with unnecessary drama; we just want her to suitably represent her homeland.

If our salty-ass president has taught the world anything, it’s that no one stirs up drama like Americans–and now, Meghan is driving that message home.


Meghan Markle SLAMMED for Nude Pics, “Sex Simulation”

Meghan Markle is a disrespectful, promiscuous, unethical nobody who is not worthy of a place in The Royal Family.

So states a scathing petition making its way around the Internet, at least.

Indeed, while most of the free world appears very excited for Markle to marry Prince Harry in May, a London resident Louisa Pawsey does not share this enthusiasm.

Not even the tiniest, little bit.

The British troll has started an online petition at that doesn’t say Markle can’t become Harry’s wife – because obviously she can’t do anything to stop true love.

But it does plea for the Royal Family NOT to give the actress a title.

Based on what characteristics (or lackthereof) she believes Markle possesses?

“We the undersigned believe that Meghan Markle is unsuitable to be a member of the Royal Family and to have an official position in representing this country,” reads the ridiculous document.

It adds:

“She has shown her disrespect for the Monarch and Royal Family by pulling faces and sticking her tongue out to the visitors during her first public appearance with the Queen.”

It’s unclear from where Pawsey gets this impression, or this alleged fact.

As you can see below, Markle has come across as nothing but classy during her public appearances as Harry’s fiancee.

Continues the petition:

“Her attitude and actions in Nottingham shows her lack of respect towards Harry.

“The fact that members of the Armed forces are resigning due to the fact they had naked pictures of her in their barracks shows how little respect she will command.”

It’s true that Markle has posed for a few sexy photos during her time as a model and actress.

It certainly isn’t true that any members of the military have resigned over these snapshots.

In conclusion, the petition makes the following points and pleas:

No member of the Royal Family should have naked images of them freely available on the internet as she does.

Her constant sex simulation makes her a laughing stock and an embarrassment to this country. Her previous divorces and cheating on partners does not lend us to believe she will be faithful to Harry.

Please prevent her from having an official role or title after her marriage to Harry.

Again, this nonsense is based on something from Markle’s career.

Her pretended to give another character a blow job many years ago during an episode of 90210 on The CW.

That’s the only “sex simulation” we know of and it took place while she was acting on a television show.

As of this writing, Louisa’s petition to deny Markle a royal title has gained only 452 signatures.

It’s obviously complete hogwash.

No one is taking it seriously and we mostly just feel bad for Pawsey that she’s taking the concept of a Royal this seriously.

It’s true that Markle has been divorced and it’s true she comes from mixed heritage and it’s true she has posed for a few seductive pictures (see above).

But shouldn’t the Royal Family be applauded for adapting its out-of-date policies, guidelines and restrictions in order to evolve and welcome her with open arms?

We think so.