The Royal Wedding has been over for days now.
However, the loudest critic of The Royal Wedding is yet to move on.
Indeed, we’re very sorry readers, but it’s time to once again talk about Samantha Markle.
The half-sister of Meghan Markle (aka The Duchess of Sussex!), Samantha is 17 years older than her more famous and FAR more classy sibling.
The two share a father, but did not grow up in the same household and barely know each other.
Over the course of the past several weeks, Samantha has been dragging Meghan left and right, slamming her as fake and phony and unappreciative and acting very bitter over her lack of a wedding invitation.
(Hmmm… we really can’t figure out why Meghan didn’t invite her, can you?)
After actually watching her sister get married, though, and after especially listening to Bishop Michael Curry’s impassioned sermon about love, Samantha appeared to have a change of heart.
“I watched the bishop talk about love and unity and forgiveness and I hoped it would strike a chord within Meghan,” she said earlier this week, still clearly blaming Meghan for their riff and adding:
“If that was real and if I were to define a principle to all of this, then it would be that we all just work for a peaceful resolution and reunion as a family.
“I feel a religious and moral obligation to be open to her and not be vindictive or isolating or hurt.”
You can guess how long this “open” attitude lasted probably, can’t you?
First, Samantha took Meghan’s mother to task, bashing Doria Ragland for “cashing in” on her appearance because she talked to Oprah Winfrey and, according to Samantha only, sold photos to the press.
But Samantha, who did warn us about never shutting up, was only getting started with this Tweet.
On Tuesday, Samantha wrote on her private Twitter account that her family is “just as embarrassed by [Meghan]” as ever before, adding that just because Markle is now royalty “she does not suddenly walk on water and she owes it to our father it is not charity it is gratitude.”
This is a reference to how Markle’s dad was not given his own coat of arms.
(Thomas Markle did not attend the wedding due to health problems and also embarrassment over a scandal in which he was caught paying paparazzi to take flattering photos of him.)
“To exclude him off a coat of arms is really stripping him of an honour and it’s a huge insult,” Samantha fumed to The Sun.
“After a heart attack that would be cruel and isolating.”
According to the Daily Mail, meanwhile, Thomas was not given a coat of arms because the process was deemed too “complicated.
It entails finding proof that the family had an ancestor who was a subject of the Crown.
Instead, Meghan will actually be given her own coat of arms… but her American family won’t be able to use it.
(We love Meghan and Harry and William and especially Kate Middleton, but man: This royalty stuff is very weird and sort of messed up, don’t you think?)
Samantha, however, is in no mood to try and actually comprehend her dad’s perceived snub.
She used Twitter to attack the Royal Family’s allegedly superior attitude, noting that they’d had “generations of scandal” themselves.
And then getting especially frisky and personal by writing:
“You’ve got inbreeding, you’ve got substance abuse, you’ve got alcohol abuse, you’ve got infidelity. On what grounds could the royals feel that the Markles are somehow not worthy?”
There’s a lot we could unpack here.
There’s no real arguing that the Royal Family lives by a haughty set of unusual rules that literally don’t really apply to anyone else in the world.
But they are coming around, that’s for sure.
They’ve accepted Meghan into their home, despite a previous divorce and despite the fact that she’s American; this would have been unheard of decades ago.
More importantly, though, is the context of this complaint and these allegations.
They come from someone who is working on a book about her toxic relationship with her estranged half-sister — and it will be titled “The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister.”
Samantha Markle really needs to go away.