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Meghan Markle’s Sister to The Royal Family: Stop Inbreeding!

The Royal Wedding has been over for days now.

However, the loudest critic of The Royal Wedding is yet to move on.

Indeed, we’re very sorry readers, but it’s time to once again talk about Samantha Markle.

The half-sister of Meghan Markle (aka The Duchess of Sussex!), Samantha is 17 years older than her more famous and FAR more classy sibling.

The two share a father, but did not grow up in the same household and barely know each other.

Over the course of the past several weeks, Samantha has been dragging Meghan left and right, slamming her as fake and phony and unappreciative and acting very bitter over her lack of a wedding invitation.

(Hmmm… we really can’t figure out why Meghan didn’t invite her, can you?)

After actually watching her sister get married, though, and after especially listening to Bishop Michael Curry’s impassioned sermon about love, Samantha appeared to have a change of heart.

Kind of.

“I watched the bishop talk about love and unity and forgiveness and I hoped it would strike a chord within Meghan,” she said earlier this week, still clearly blaming Meghan for their riff and adding:

“If that was real and if I were to define a principle to all of this, then it would be that we all just work for a peaceful resolution and reunion as a family.

“I feel a religious and moral obligation to be open to her and not be vindictive or isolating or hurt.”

You can guess how long this “open” attitude lasted probably, can’t you?

First, Samantha took Meghan’s mother to task, bashing Doria Ragland for “cashing in” on her appearance because she talked to Oprah Winfrey and, according to Samantha only, sold photos to the press.

But Samantha, who did warn us about never shutting up, was only getting started with this Tweet.

marksister

On Tuesday, Samantha wrote on her private Twitter account that her family is “just as embarrassed by [Meghan]” as ever before, adding that just because Markle is now royalty “she does not suddenly walk on water and she owes it to our father it is not charity it is gratitude.”

This is a reference to how Markle’s dad was not given his own coat of arms.

(Thomas Markle did not attend the wedding due to health problems and also embarrassment over a scandal in which he was caught paying paparazzi to take flattering photos of him.)

“To exclude him off a coat of arms is really stripping him of an honour and it’s a huge insult,” Samantha fumed to The Sun.

“After a heart attack that would be cruel and isolating.”

According to the Daily Mail, meanwhile, Thomas was not given a coat of arms because the process was deemed too “complicated.

It entails finding proof that the family had an ancestor who was a subject of the Crown.

Instead, Meghan will actually be given her own coat of arms… but her American family won’t be able to use it.

(We love Meghan and Harry and William and especially Kate Middleton, but man: This royalty stuff is very weird and sort of messed up, don’t you think?)

Samantha, however, is in no mood to try and actually comprehend her dad’s perceived snub.

She used Twitter to attack the Royal Family’s allegedly superior attitude, noting that they’d had “generations of scandal” themselves.

And then getting especially frisky and personal by writing:

“You’ve got inbreeding, you’ve got substance abuse, you’ve got alcohol abuse, you’ve got infidelity. On what grounds could the royals feel that the Markles are somehow not worthy?”

There’s a lot we could unpack here.

There’s no real arguing that the Royal Family lives by a haughty set of unusual rules that literally don’t really apply to anyone else in the world.

But they are coming around, that’s for sure.

They’ve accepted Meghan into their home, despite a previous divorce and despite the fact that she’s American; this would have been unheard of decades ago.

More importantly, though, is the context of this complaint and these allegations.

They come from someone who is working on a book about her toxic relationship with her estranged half-sister — and it will be titled “The Diary of Princess Pushy’s Sister.”

Samantha Markle really needs to go away.

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Katy Perry Actually Said WHAT About Meghan Markle’s Wedding Dress?!?

Now that Katy Perry is done feuding with Taylor Swift, the singer has apparently chosen a new target for her wrath.

And that target is…

… Meghan Markle?!?

Apparently, yes.

Following Saturday’s royal wedding, the rare event met with universal approval across the Internet, Perry was asked for her reaction to Markle’s wedding down.

It was a pretty basic ensemble, designed by Givenchy and worn perfectly by the glowing bride.

Or at least that’s what we thought.

“I would have done one more fitting,” the American Idol judge told Entertainment Tonight about the gown, adding with a smile:

“I’m never not going to tell the truth! One more fitting, but I love you!”

Let’s keep in mind that this fashion assessment is coming from someone who went out in public looking like this recently:

Designed by Great Britain’s own Clare Waight Keller, Markle’s dress featured a sleek silhouette featured and an open bateau neckline, along with slim three-quarter sleeves.

Moreover, it expertly emphasized the bride’s slender sculpted waist, according to Kensington Palace’s official release.

Has the gown received the sort of praise bestowed upon Kate Middleton’s wedding dress in 2011? Which actually led H&M to come out with a much cheaper version that it now sells in storeS?

No. Not yet at least.

But why be so harsh, Katy Perry?!?

“Kate won! Kate won!” Perry added even more obnoxiously, making clear in this same interview that she preferred Middleton’s Alexander McQueen-designed frock.

(Do you agree? Vote below!)

Fashion Face-Off!

You must pick one: Who wore her Royal Wedding Dress best, Meghan Markle or Kate Middleton? View Poll »

Markle and Harry got married on Saturday, May 19, of course.

The ceremony was attended by several hundred guests, while thousands of people lined the London streets to cheer on the couple and millions more watched at home on television.

We’ve since learned that Harry gave a speech at the evening reception in which he said he cannot wait for him and Markle to be an official “team.’

He also praised his bride’s “grace and dignity,” both of which truly have been on display while she gets dragged left and right by her terrible family members.

In her speech, meanwhile, Markle reportedly thanked her mom (“You have always been there for me through everything…”) and the Royal Family for accepting her into their lives with open arms.

Markle and Harry remain in Great Britain right now, putting off their honeymoon for an undetermined period of time.

It’s unclear just when they’ll depart and it’s equally unclear just where they are actually going for this big trip.

What is VERY clear, however, is that these two deserve a very long vacation.

They’ve been in the public eye for a long time now and they don’t need to just sit back and take this sort of criticism from someone like Katy Perry.

We hope they get the chance to get far away from it all soon, to kick back, relax and makes all sort of sweet and passionate love.

Don’t you agree?

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Meghan Markle’s Dumb Dad Wishes He’d Gone to the Royal Wedding

If you’ve been anywhere near an internet-enabled device in the past 72 hours, then you’re no doubt aware that Prince Harry married Meghan Markle in a unique ceremony at Windsor Castle in London.

Harry and Meghan’s nuptials were different from previous royal weddings in a number of important ways.

Most were cool and interesting, others … well, not so much.

For example, the ceremony incorporated elements of African-American culture in order to honor Meghan’s ethnicity and nationality.

That was inarguably awesome.

In the other column, you’ll find the almost unbelievably messy drama surrounding Meghan’s family.

While it certainly helped set this wedding apart from its predecessors, we’re guessing Harry and Meghan would have been happy to skip over the soap opera BS delivered by her father and her half-siblings.

Meghan’s half-brother and half-sister talked a bunch of trash, but that came as no surprise, as those two revealed themselves to be bestselling items at the jerk store several months ago.

Much more unexpected was the last-minute turmoil involving Meghan’s father.

Thomas Markle skipped the royal wedding, bowing out just days before the ceremony for reasons that still aren’t totally clear.

At first, there were reports that Meghan’s dad had suffered a heart attack.

Now, however, it doesn’t that that was the case.

The more likely explanation seems to be that Thomas was humiliated by the revelation that he’d agreed to be photographed by paparazzi in exchange for a fee.

That’s not to say Thomas is without health issues, but it seems that his reasons for skipping the wedding were more varied and complex than initially reported.

Weirdly, Thomas was in regular communication with TMZ throughout the build-up to the wedding, and he spoke to the site on Saturday after Meghan and Harry exchanged vows.

“My baby looks beautiful and she looks very happy,” he said.

“I wish I were there and I wish them all my love and all happiness.”

Thomas added that watching the wedding on television was both “emotional and joyful.”

We may never know exactly what prompted Thomas to stay home instead of participating in this once-in-a-lifetime event, but remarkably, it seems he and Meghan have remained on good terms.

But perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised by that – something tells us Meghan has lots of experience forgiving her father.

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Meghan Markle’s Sister: Hospitalized After Car Wreck

As the Royal Wedding looms closer, it has appeared that Meghan Markle’s awful sister will never stop saying hateful things about Meghan and, well, everything else.

But something has given Samantha Grant pause.

She has been hospitalized with multiple injuries following a car accident.

TMZ reports that Samantha Grant was hospitalized with what they say appears to be a broken ankle and a fractured knee.

What’s more, this comes after an alleged confrontation with the paparazzi — or at least one paparazzo.

According to Samantha’s boyfriend, Mark, the two were driving in Florida near a toll booth when this happened.

it is Mark who describes this as a “paparazzi confrontation.”

Allegedly, a paparazzo veered in front of them in the hopes of getting a clear shot with his camera.

Mark says that he then swerved to the left to avoid a collision.

He was successful in avoiding the photographer … but ended up running into a concrete barrier.

Mark says that Samantha hit the windshield on impact — and then fell to the floor mat.

(We would hope that she and everyone else on the planet always wears a seatbelt, so we’d love an explanation for how that happened)

Samantha has MS, and was unable to lift herself up from the floorboard.

She says that her foot was twisted backwards. We can’t even imagine how that would look, but it sure sounds painful.

Mark says that the paparazzo fled the scene.

We have to keep in mind that, so far, we only know Mark (and, we suppose, Samantha’s) version of events.

We don’t yet know the full story of what happened.

Obviously, conspiracy theorists always like to run wild — but no, Queen Elizabeth II did not arrange this.

Outside of fictional settings like Grimm, the British royal family only wields as much power as your average millionaire dynasty who plays an anachronistic ceremonial role in government.

Though we’re sure that the Queen would do anything to make her grandson’s wedding perfect, this was not a hit.

Sometimes, accidents happen.

Especially when an alleged overeager photographer is pursuing a vehicle.

Given the way in which Prince Harry and Prince William tragically lost their mother at a heartbreakingly young age, this is something that the Royals know better than most.

Mark of course drove Samantha to the E.R. for treatment, but a broken ankle can take months of recovery.

Based upon the description of her injuries, it seems likely that she’ll have metal surgically implanted to keep her ankle break from repeating.

Ankle injuries are nasty, and once they are severely injured, conventional wisdom says that they are never the same again.

We don’t know if MS will complicate Samantha’s injuries or her recovery.

We also don’t know if she has any other, less obvious injuries from what sounds like a frightening collision.

We know that there is clearly no love lost between Samantha and Meghan.

But that doesn’t mean that Meghan is looking out a palace window somewhere like a dramatic villain, gleefully celebrating her detractor’s injury.

Obviously, Meghan is getting married in two days.

Additionally, Meghan Markle’s father’s heart attack has her concerned for his health, and has left the family scrambling to make new arrangements since he can no longer attend.

She has a lot on her plate, and honestly, this news is probably just another distraction.

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