Middleton」タグアーカイブ

Keira Knightley Dares to Criticize Kate Middleton

Keira Knightley has actually gone there.

The veteran actress has written a letter to her husband and three-year old daughter (for Scarlett Curtis’ new book, Feminists Don’t Wear Pink (And Other Lies) in which she takes issue with Kate Middleton.

Yes, Knightley has something negative to say about the most universally beloved person on the planet.

In the essay, which is titled “The Weaker Sex,” Knightley compares how she looked and acted after childbirth … to how the Duchess of Cambridge appeared mere hours after she and Prince William welcomed their second child.

(Knightley actually gave birth a day later.)

“She was out of hospital seven hours later with her face made up and high heels on,” wrote Knightley, adding:

“The face the world wants to see. Hide. Hide our pain, our bodies splitting, our breasts leaking, our hormones raging. Look beautiful, look stylish, don’t show your battleground, Kate.”

This did happen, that much is certain.

Looking immaculate and all made up, Middleton smiled for photographers (and, really, the entire world) on the steps on a hospital in London.

She did the same thing with her third child, as you can see here:

There was definitely a bit of backlash at the time, but little of it was aimed at Middleton herself.

Most of it was focused on a family and a tradition that basically required Middleton to put on this face for millions so soon after giving birth.

“Seven hours after your fight with life and death, seven hours after your body breaks open, and bloody, screaming life comes out. Don’t show. Don’t tell,” Knightley wrote.

She continued:

“Stand there with your girl and be shot by a pack of male photographers. This stuff is easy. It happens every day. What’s the big deal? So does death, you s–t-heads, but you don’t have to pretend that’s easy.”

For the record:

Kate and William presented their first child Prince George, now 5, and their youngest son Prince Louis, now 5 months old, in the same manner.

This is just how a Duchess has to roll.

In her letter, though, Knightley thought back to how loved ones visited the hospital after she became a mother and she “wore a hospital gown with paper pants on.”

She was still bleeding from childbirth.

She recalled how she was exposed, even showing her cellulite, as she hurried to take care of the newborn upon hearing her cries.

“My breast is out in front of them all and I don’t care,” she wrote.

“Your life is my life. You need me. I’m there. F-ck them all with their eyes watching, their embarrassed faces at my animalistic semi-nudity. Is this soft motherhood?”

There was shit and vomit and blood, Knightley remembers, detailing the graphic consequences of childbirth for all women.

For Middleton, too.

But the world only got a look at the pristine version of this popular Royal.

“I remember my battleground,” she writes in this essay. “Your battleground and life pulsating. Surviving. And I am the weaker sex? You are?”

It’s an interesting take, isn’t it?

What do you think of Knightley’s overall criticism here?

ReadMore…

Kate Middleton Gives Meghan Markle Weird-Ass Advice on How to Get Pregnant

It’s been almost four months since Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in a ceremony that inspired Ashleys the world over to make the ill-fated decision to wear a fancy hat to brunch the next day.

Naturally, the rumors about Meghan being pregnant with Harry’s baby began almost immediately after the ceremony, but thus far, there’s been no official announcement from Buckingham Palace.

Obviously, there’s nothing remotely unusual about a couple that’s been married less than four months being childless, but since Meghan is 37, and she and Harry have both spoken publicly about wanting to raise a large family, it was widely assumed they’d get right down to the business of making babies.

At thisn point, it seems Meghan remains un-knocked up, but she’s hoping to change that soon — and sources say she’s turned to her sister-in-law for advice.

“Meghan has been getting baby making tips from all her friends with kids, including Duchess Kate,” one insider tells Hollywood Life.

“Kate told her to drink more tea. That was her big piece of advice. She’s embraced all the British traditions and has started drinking tea at tea time.”

Well, if that isn’t the most British reproductive advice in history!

Of course, Kate said to drink effing tea!

Meghan, being a grown-ass woman, probably came to her sister-in-law asking advice and expected Kate to suggest a position or something.

Instead, she gets told to bust out her doilies and get sippin’.

“I say, the Queen Mum used to maintain that a spot of Earl Grey will fill your belly with the very pastiest of heirs,” Kate probably said, clutching her pearls at this American’s effrontery. 

The crazy part is, it seems Meg is actually listening to Kate’s advice:

“She’s not really sure if it will make any difference in helping her get pregnant, which she’s very graciously following Kate’s advice,” says the source.

We hope she at least put an American spin on the situation and started guzzling 99 cent cans of Arizona.

Fortunately, Kate’s not the only one offering Meghan conception tips.

It seems the Duchess of Sussex has also been in touch with her friends back on this side of the pond, who have been a bit more helpful in their advice.

“Her friends in Toronto are more holistic minded, so they’ve offered tips like practicing more yin style yoga and doing a nightly meditation,” says the insider.

“Meghan’s not obsessing about getting pregnant, but she’s very open to everyone’s ideas. She’s a naturally curious person, so she loves learning what worked for her friends when it comes to their fertility.”

That’s good, because so far her friends are offering lame-ass advice that has nothing to do with putting the old peener in the va-jay-jay.

We kid, of course. The Duke and Duchess probably don’t need much advice on that part of the process:

“Meghan and Harry are enjoying non-stop baby-making sex at all hours of the day,” says the insider.

“Meghan has an app on her phone that tracks of her fertility, so when she is most likely to conceive.

“That means in the mornings, afternoons and at night, they make time for love with a baby being the goal…and Harry is not complaining at all. There may not be a bun in her oven yet, but they are having fun trying.”

That sound you just heard was everyone in England over the age of 50 gasping in unison at such frank talk of a royal’s sex life.

ReadMore…

Meghan Markle & Kate Middleton: Pissing Off the Royals With Their Petty-Ass Feud [Report]

While fans of the British Royal Family believe that Meghan Markle is hiding a baby bump, rumor says that there’s something else in the family on the verge of spilling into the public sphere.

Meghan and her sister-in-law, Kate Middleton, are reportedly feuding again.

And it’s gotten so bad that their husbands are said to be planning an intervention. Yikes.

InTouch reports that Kate and Meghan are engaged in an envy-fueled feud.

And apparently this alleged feuding has grown so severe that Prince Harry and Prince William are plotting to do something about it before it escalates.

“The boys are discussing whether to stage an intervention,” their inside source claims.

That would be a drastic step, but the insider says that it may be necessary “in order to get Meghan and Kate to make up.”

If that’s what they do, we sure hope that it works.

It’s reported that things got so bad that the Queen herself wants the situation resolved.

“She said something had to be done,” the source says of Queen Elizabeth.

Apparently the Queen has had enough, and “she wants to resolve the issue once and for all.”

In part, it sounds like this may be about public relations as much as it is about family unity.

The insider shares that “the last thing the queen wants is a full-blown crisis at the palace.”

Supposedly, this imminent crisis is because of Kate’s position as the mother of three heirs to the throne.

“Meghan can’t help but be jealous,” the source claims.

The insider then goes above and beyond, saying that “she’s lying if she says she isn’t.”

Thta’s a very bold claim. Especially since, surely, Meghan knew all along that Kate’s marriage to William made her a bigger deal within the family.

“She knows that one day Kate will be reaping all the rewards of that title,” the source says.

There is more to this alleged feud than Meghan’s reported resentments, however. It sounds like Kate has some gripes as well.

“Meghan learned everything she knows from Kate,” the insider says.

“But since the wedding, Kate feels like Meghan has barely made any effort with her,” the source says.

“And,” the insider continues, Meghan “is more interested in impressing the queen.”

Well … wouldn’t most people put a little more effort into their new grandmother-in-law … especially when she’s the literal Queen?

The report goes on to say that Meghan isn’t deliberately snubbing Kate.

“To be fair,” the source says. “Meghan has been busy.”

She’s a newlywed, she’s adjusting to her new life. Also, her awful family seems to be determined to ruin her life.

“But Kate feels like she’s put a lot of effort into their friendship and hasn’t gotten much in return,” the insider explains.

That sounds like a somewhat fair complaint.

We have to say that we have our doubts about all of this. Meghan and Kate are grown women, not soap opera characters.

Hopefully, they are satisfied with their own lives and don’t feel the need to tear down others (or each other) in order to feel good about themselves.

Meghan’s half-siblings may be vicious, but there’s no reason to believe that Meghan herself is.

Maybe Meghan and Kate aren’t the best of friends, but they don’t need to be joined at the hip for them to not be at each other’s throats.

We hope, anyway.

Meghan has enough drama from her blood relatives.

ReadMore…

Meghan Markle Would Make a Better Queen Than Kate Middleton, Psychotic Brother Claims

When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry back in May, she instantly became the Duchess of Sussex.

It’s a slightly better situation than when you got married and instantly became burdened by someone else’s student loan debt and sh-tty credit score.

Anyway, the good news is that Meghan is the only person on the planet ever to make the leap from basic cable legal drama to duchess.

The bad news is, that’s about as high as she’s gonna climb in the royal hierarchy.

But if you’re a Meg fan who thinks the royals should just give her the keys to Buckingham Palace and let an American take a crack at this “queen” job, you’re certainly not alone.

Meghan has some terrible siblings who make a point of embarrassing her every chance they get.

Usually, they do so by trash talking her to anyone who will listen.

But recently, Meg’s brother, Thomas Markle Jr. decided to pursue a different strategy by throwing shade at her in-laws instead.

“With Meghan’s determination and Harry’s charismatic personality above William, Harry and Meghan would be a great king & queen some day and make the Royal Family proud,” Thomas wrote in an open letter to Queen Elizabeth II.

As you probably already know, Prince Charles is next in line for the throne, followed by his son, Prince William.

That means it’s extremely unlikely that Prince Harry will ever become king.

In fact, that would necessitate Shakespearean levels of bloodshed.

And even if Harry became king, that wouldn’t make Meghan queen.

But Thomas doesn’t have time for all your “rules” and “logic.”

He knows what’s best for the royal family, and he wants the whole world to know it.

Yes, if you’re keeping track at home, this is the same brother who previously accused the Brits of turning Meghan into a royal “zombie.”

It seems he’s now changed his tack and decided that Meg is not the worst thing on two legs.

In fact, Thomas now believes his sister should literally be the next Queen of England.

Apparently, as long as the take is hot, Tom wants to claim it for his own.

Hopefully, dude is currently in his fifteenth minute of fame, because we really can’t stand much more of him.

ReadMore…

Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton: Due to Give Birth on the Same Day?

We recently discussed the report that Meghan Markle is expecting a boy and a girl — fraternal twins — with Prince Harry.

There is also a report that Kate Middleton is already pregnant with her fourth royal baby.

A new report confirms them both … and says that Kate and Meghan may end up giving birth on the same day

A new InTouch cover gleefully announces this story to the world.

“They’re both pregnant!” the cover proclaims.

The cover goes on to proclaim that both Kate and Meghan are “due the same day!”

That would be a real gamechanger, though, as we all know, due dates are more of an educated guess.

“A girl for Kate,” the headline continues. “And twins for Meghan!”

InTouch’s report continues with further details.

“Meghan,” they explain. “Conceived just a few weeks after Kate.”

And apparently this has forged a closer knit between the two duchesses.

“Kate and Meghan bonded over the men they married,” they reveal. “Now they’re bonding over being pregnant together.”

It wasn’t so long ago that the two were rumored to be royally feuding, but this report says that “That’s all water under the bridge now.”

InTouch offers a few more details.

“Meghan,” they say. “Wants to give birth in the U.S.”

Some people are more comfortable giving birth at home. Especially when that means that their child will also be an American citizen.

The repot says that, because Meghan’s “due date is around the same time as Kate’s,” there’s a very real possibility that “they could give birth the same day!”

“While the pregnancies are the subject of plenty of palace buzz,” the report confides. “The duchesses have only shared their news with a small group of friends and family.”

That all sounds so exciting.

But, as Gossip Cop points out, there are some apparent holes in the story.

First of all, InTouch says that the “palace confirms.” Kensington Palace has done no such thing, and reportedly said as much to Gossip Cop.

Second of all, do they have the same due date or are their due dates merely close to each other?

We know that due dates can sometimes be given as a range, but … it sounds like the story isn’t entirely straight.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Meghan and Harry were recently spotted on a lunch date in Dublin.

The two shared some beer with lunch. That might be standard in the British Isles, but it’s definitely not something that anyone should do when pregnant.

The world has just seen photos of Prince Louis’s Christening. Kate’s youngest looks so precious and cute — and Kate herself looks so radiant — that it’s easy to understand why people are eager for another royal baby.

(Or three)

But there is no indication that Kate or Meghan are pregnant.

Remember, Kate has extremely bad morning sickness — which is how we were able to predict her pregnancy last year a couple of weeks before it was announced.

And Meghan, as we mentioned, was washing down her lunch with Guiness.

Reports like these are always tempting because they can be exciting, but let’s keep a cool head and wait for news that we can verify.

We just got the latest royal baby a couple of months ago. We can be patient.

ReadMore…

Kate Middleton and Prince William Christen Louis, Light Up London

Kate Middleton has taken a break from trash-talking Meghan Markle to focus on what’s really important:

Family.

The Duchess of Cambridge arrived on Monday at the Chapel Royal in St. James’s Palace in London alongside Prince William and her three precious children in order to Christen the youngest of these children.

Indeed, it was quite a big day for 11-week old Louis, who was accompanied for this major occasion by his four-year old brother, George, and three-year old sister, Charlotte.

This was actually the first time all five members of this beloved immediate family were photographed in the same place.

Middleton, as we’ve come to expect at all times, looked elegant and gorgeous in a cream suit dress from Alexander McQueen (her wedding dress designer) and a matching headpiece from Jane Taylor.

Take a look at the ensemble here:

Louis was born on April 19 and, within hours, Middleton was all dressed and made up and debuting her child for the public.

Since then, the global icon was spotted at the annual Trooping the Colour even on June 9; and a day later, she and her two older kids were on the sidelines of Prince William’s polo match.

That’s been about it for Kate Middleton appearances since she became a mother for the third time.

We’re obviously not blaming her or judging her here. She has a newborn at home!

Following in the adorable footsteps of his siblings, Louis’ service was conducted this morning by the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Reverend Justin Welby, who christened George in October 2013 and Charlotte in July 2015…

… and most recently officiated Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s royal wedding.

(That Royal World really is a small one, isn’t it?)

Charlotte, meanwhile, was Christened at Sandringham’s St. Mary Magdalene church in Norfolk, which is also where her late grandmother Princess Diana was Christened.

As for George?

His ceremony was held at St. James’s Palace‘s Chapel Royal.

For those wondering, Kate and William selected two hymns for this big event:

O Jesus, I Have Promised and Lord of All Hopefulness.

Moreover, Godparents Lucy Middleton and Guy Pelly each did a reading.

And, as if all this wasn’t exciting enough, Pippa Middleton was on hand for her nephew’s special day.

She attended alongside husband James Matthews, and with a baby in her womb.

How exciting, right?!?

We can’t make out a bump just yet, but Pipppa can be assured that the paparazzi will be looking closely for many weeks to come.

She can also turn to her sister any time she needs advice, especially considering what Kate recently said about parenting.

“Spending quality time together is such an important aspect of family life,” Middleton wrote in a letter for Children’s Hospice Week, adding:

“It is the simple family moments like playing outside together that I cherish.”

Amen. We totally agree!

ReadMore…

Kate Middleton Trash-Talks Meghan Markle Daily (Report)

Ever since Meghan Markle married Prince Harry, there have been rumors about the former actress struggling to fit in with the royals.

These reports were inevitable of course, but they’ve been somewhat more vicious and persistent than we anticipated.

Insiders (or people purporting to be insiders, or tabloid columnists writing as imaginary insiders) claim that Meghan has breached royal protocol several times in her six weeks as a Duchess.

Naturally, these folks insist that the Queen is not happy with Meg’s performance thus far.

Kate Middleton, on the other hand, is reportedly loving every minute of it.

A source tells the never-reliable Star magazine that Kate has been “gleefully watching Meghan’s blunders from the sidelines.” 

Those blunders include such egregious offenses as wearing a dress that didn’t cover her shoulders.

Oh, and let’s not forget the time that Meghan tried to hold Harry’s hand in public!

We’re still clutching our pearls over that one.

Apparently, Kate is supposed to be helping Meghan out with all this confusing nonsense, but when the time came to lend her fellow lapsed peasant a hand, she was all like, nah:

“You’d think that as a fellow commoner, she’d be sympathetic to how Meghan is struggling, but Kate feels threatened by Meghan’s popularity,” the insider reveals.

“Kate takes potshots at Meghan every chance she gets and makes a point to tell the queen about all the things Meghan is doing wrong.”

Oh, what we would give to hear Kate flex that stiff upper lip to spit some royal zingers.

“Ay bish, you used to be on Suits but you couldn’t find a tailor for that baggy-ass wedding dress?”

“I heard you were a model on Deal on No Deal. Maybe you should’ve said no deal to that fugly hat.”

And so forth.

Anyway, it all sounds very far-fetched, but this isn’t the first report we’ve heard that Kate and Meg aren’t exactly beasties:

“Kate feels like Meghan has barely made any effort with her and is more interested in impressing [Queen Elizabeth],” a source recently told some tabloid called Closer Weekly.

“Kate feels left out. She spent years working on her image as ‘the perfect royal,’ and Meghan is stealing her thunder,” 

Yes, a real feud might be taking place among the duchesses.

If only we could convince them to star in a reality show about their beef.

ReadMore…

Kate Middleton: ALREADY Pregnant With Fourth Child?!

It’s only been three months since Kate Middleton welcomed her third child, but if a new report from Life & Style is to be believed the Duchess of Cambridge is already expecting her fourth.

Mind you, that’s an if that would give Big Ben a run for its money in the size department.

The tabloid’s claim is based on specious evidence gathered by sources who have noticed things like Kate is eating food and wearing pants.

“Those close to Kate are saying she’s pregnant with baby number four,” one “insider” claims.

“Kate is showing all the signs of pregnancy, and she and William have always said they wanted four children to complete their family. Actually, William would like five kids — but Kate thinks four is enough!” 

Yes, the Royal Willie shows no signs of slowing down, but we still have a hard time believing Kate is knocked up again, just three months after giving birth.

That said, a set of Irish twins would be a good way for Kate to honor the part of that island that remained loyal to the crown, and she has spoken about wanting her kids to be close in age.

“It’s important to Kate for her own children to have a similar bond with their siblings, and she knows it’s more likely to happen if they’re close in age,” says the source.

Another supposed sign that Kate is in a family way is the fact that she skipped a recent birthday celebration for Prince Charles — but there are several possible reasons for that.

Maybe Kate was still hungover from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding.

Maybe she’s stick of this weird royal custom of people their celebrating birthdays whenever they feel like it.

(Charles was born in November, but his birthday party’s in May?! WTF is that?)

Perhaps she just (rightly) believes that Charles is a lame-ass.

Whatever the case it seems the clearest indicators that Kate is expecting are her fashion and culinary choices.

“One of the reasons for her not attending was that she was exhausted and felt sick,” the source claims.

“She’s wearing loose-fitted clothing again, avoiding alcohol, and craving curry, which she often does when she’s pregnant.” 

Yes, apparently “curry and biscuits” are Kate’s main pregnancy cravings.

Now, we’re assuming the source means “biscuits” in the British sense.

In America, we call them “cookies” because that’s what they’re called.

What’s less clear is if Kate is eating those two items separately, or if she’s combining them.

Now, if she’s crumbling up Oreos and mixing them with her tikka masala, then Kate is either George III-level psychotic, or stoned out of her gourd.

Frankly, either possibility would make for a more interesting story than her being pregnant again.

ReadMore…

Kate Middleton vs. Meghan Markle: Royal Feud Alert!

It’s been over a month since Meghan Markle married Prince Harry, and by all accounts, she’s adjusting to her new lifestyle quite nicely.

And it seems she’s doing so without any assistance from the only person on the planet who can truly identify with her situation.

Yes, there was a time when Kate Middleton showed Meghan Markle how to dress for official engagements and otherwise helped to prepare her for life as a royal.

But now, it seems those days are done.

At least that’s the dubious claim being made by the gossip site Closer Weekly.

The site claims that shortly after the wedding, Kate stopped viewing Meghan as a friend in need of advice, and started looking at her as an adversary.

“Meghan learned everything from Kate. But since the wedding, Kate feels like Meghan has barely made any effort with her and is more interested in impressing [Queen Elizabeth],” a source claims.

“In all fairness, Meghan has been busy. But Kate feels like she’s put a lot of effort into their friendship and hasn’t gotten much in return.”

Yes, according to the informant, Kate feels that she and Meghan are in direct competition for the Queen’s affection.

And it’s for that reason that Kate has stopped offering guidance to her former friend.

“She’s a nice person and doesn’t want to see Meghan fall flat on her face, but at the same time she’s cut back on giving her advice,” the insider reports.

The source claims the feud was apparent to royal-watchers during the recent Trooping the Color event.

Meghan was “dress-shamed” for wearing a shoulder-baring ensemble that many traditionalists felt was inappropriate.

Those who claim to know the family best say there was a time when Kate would have warned Meghan about the criticism she would have received.

Now, it seems those days are done. 

“She could have saved Meghan from embarrassment. But she didn’t say anything,” the source claims.

If that’s true, that’s some Regina George-level passive-aggressiveness from Kate, and we applaud her for it.

One insider says the real issue isn’t that Kate is worried about losing her spot as the Queen’s favorite, but rather that she feels betrayed by Meghan, whom she had previously thought of as one of her best friends.

These days, the source claims, Kate and Meg are “barely on speaking terms” and the entire royal family can feel the tension.

“Kate feels left out. [Kate] spent years working on her image as ‘the perfect royal,’ and Meghan is stealing her thunder,” the tipster claims.

“The popularity contest has caused a lot of friction at the palace.”

The source adds:

“Since marrying into royal life, Kate no longer has many friends. She really relied on Meghan as a pal and feels utterly betrayed and dropped by her [best friend].

“She hasn’t confronted Meghan yet, but Meghan can sense something is up. Meghan has gone through enough petty drama with her family. She doesn’t need it from her friends”

Well, at least Meg’s royal life isn’t as boring as it appears from the outside.

ReadMore…