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Farrah Abraham: JJ Abrams Is Gonna Make My Life Story Into a Movie!

Backdoor Star Wars? Super 8 Inches? Felicity, But She’s a Porn Star Instead of a College Student?

Yes, the prospect of a Farrah Abraham-J.J. Abrams collaboration has our minds racing with possibility.

Farrah Abraham-JJ Abrams

Unfortunately, at this point, the project exists only in Farrah’s fevered imagination.

It seems that ever since being fired from Teen Mom OG for her refusal to stop performing in online sex shows, Ms. Abraham has had a lot of time on her hands.

While much of that time has been dedicated to less-than-productive pursuits, such as getting arrested for attacking hotel staff, she’s also been casually toying with the idea of dropping a new Citizen Kane on all our asses.

Yes, Farrah is hoping to adapt her memoir, My Teenage Dream Ended, into a Hollywood feature film.

And she knows just who she wants in charge of the project.

“I’m working on storyboards right now and the screenplay, it’s really a project and a challenge and it’s crazy good,” she recently explained to TooFab.

“I can’t wait, I’m on my first draft right now and it’s going beyond what was said in the book.”

But don’t worry, Farrah isn’t straying too far from the magic that made Teenage Dream the Moby Dick of reality TV memoirs.

“The book is a classic, and that’s where everything stems from, and that’s the main storyline, which we need to stick with,” Farrah says.

“But I also think showing some before and after the show is really what the fans want, so we’re getting that and I can’t wait to show that. It’s going to be very interesting.”

Yes, Farrah just unironically described her memoir as a classic.

And who knows? Maybe in 40 years, schoolchildren will be writing book reports about the various symbolic meanings of the term “backdoor” in Farrah’s masterwork.

Believe it or not, that seems more plausible than Farrah’s plans for the movie version of her book.

You see, Farrah not only thinks this film is getting made, she’s convinced it’s gonna win every Oscar and make a cool few billion at the international box office.

“We’re going to have a real casting director, producers, the best of the best for everything,” she stated.

“Maybe I’ll work with J.J. Abrams, there are some other people on my top list.

“The production companies associated with I, Tonya, I really think they would get this storyline as well. So I can’t wait to see who’s the best fit.”

Actually … comparing herself to Tonya Harding might actually be the least-dumb thing Farrah has ever done.

As for JJ’s involvement — well, can envision that meeting now:

Abrams: So what’s this project all about?

Cigar-Munching Hollywood Type: A reality star who sells plastic molds of her b-hole on the internet. But don’t worry; it’s got a real casting director!

Abrams: Sold!

As for who will play the role of Farrah, it’s tough to predict which direction her ego will take her in on this one.

Obviously, she would relish the attention that would come with playing herself.

But at the same time, the allure of recruiting some A-list Oscar-winner like Jennifer Lawrence might be too strong to resist.

Watch Teen Mom OG online to remind yourself how much of a plum role Farrah would be an actress willing to go full batsh-t.

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MTV Movie & TV Awards: Who Won Big?!?

Tiffany Haddish was the big winner at the MTV Movie & TV Awards.

That’s what happens when you wear a Meghan Markle-inspired wedding dress on stage and joke about the Kardashians:

That family is basically the Star Wars franchise.

They make  a ton of movie, a new one is always popping up and they’re ruled by a bossy overlord who sleeps in a mask and she loves black men.

mtv people

But Haddish simply served as the host of this ceremony.

Who were the REAL winners within the world of television and film?

Scroll down to find out… and then react!

BEST MOVIE (Presented by Toyota)
WINNER- Black Panther (Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
Avengers: Infinity War (Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
Girls Trip (Universal Pictures)
IT (New Line Cinema)
Wonder Woman (Warner Bros. Pictures)

BEST SHOW
WINNER-Stranger Things (Netflix)
13 Reasons Why (Netflix)
Game of Thrones (HBO)
Grown-ish (Freeform)
Riverdale (The CW)

BEST PERFORMANCE IN A MOVIE
WINNER- Chadwick Boseman – Black Panther
Timothée Chalamet – Call Me by Your Name
Ansel Elgort – Baby Driver
Daisy Ridley – Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Saoirse Ronan – Lady Bird

BEST PERFORMANCE IN A SHOW
WINNER- Millie Bobby Brown – Stranger Things
Darren Criss – The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Katherine Langford – 13 Reasons Why
Issa Rae – Insecure
Maisie Williams – Game of Thrones

BEST HERO
WINNER- Chadwick Boseman (T’Challa/Black Panther) – Black Panther
Emilia Clarke (Daenerys Targaryen) – Game of Thrones
Gal Gadot (Diana Prince/Wonder Woman) – Wonder Woman
Grant Gustin (Barry Allen/The Flash) – The Flash
Daisy Ridley (Rey) – Star Wars: The Last Jedi

BEST VILLAIN
WINNER- Michael B. Jordan (N’Jadaka/Erik Killmonger) – Black Panther  
Josh Brolin (Thanos) – Avengers: Infinity War
Adam Driver (Kylo Ren) – Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Aubrey Plaza (Lenny Busker) – Legion
Bill Skarsgard (Pennywise) – IT

BEST KISS
WINNER- Love, Simon – Nick Robinson (Simon) and Keiynan Lonsdale (Bram)
Jane the Virgin – Gina Rodriguez (Jane) and Justin Baldoni (Rafael)
Ready Player One – Olivia Cooke (Sam) and Tye Sheridan (Wade)
Riverdale – KJ Apa (Archie) and Camila Mendes (Veronica)
Stranger Things – Finn Wolfhard (Mike) and Millie Bobby Brown (Eleven)

MOST FRIGHTENED PERFORMANCE
WINNER-  Noah Schnapp (Will Byers) – Stranger Things
Talitha Bateman (Janice) – Annabelle: Creation
Emily Blunt (Evelyn Abbott) – A Quiet Place
Sophia Lillis (Beverly Marsh) – IT
Cristin Milioti (Nanette Cole) – Black Mirror

BEST ON-SCREEN TEAM
WINNER- IT – Finn Wolfhard (Richie), Sophia Lillis (Beverly), Jaeden Lieberher (Bill), Jack Dylan Grazer (Eddie), Wyatt Oleff (Stanley), Jeremy Ray Taylor (Ben), Chosen Jacobs (Mike)
Black Panther – Chadwick Boseman (T’Challa/ Black Panther), Lupita Nyong’o (Nakia), Danai Gurira (Okoye), Letitia Wright (Shuri)
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle – Dwayne Johnson (Smolder), Kevin Hart (Mouse), Jack Black (Shelly), Karen Gillan (Ruby), Nick Jonas (Seaplane)
Ready Player One –  Tye Sheridan (Wade), Olivia Cooke (Samantha), Philip Zhao (Sho), Win Morisaki (Daito), Lena Waithe (Aech)
Stranger Things – Gaten Matarazzo (Dustin), Finn Wolfhard (Mike), Caleb McLaughlin (Lucas), Noah Schnapp (Will), Sadie Sink (Max)

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
WINNER-Tiffany Haddish – Girls Trip
Jack Black – Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
Dan Levy – Schitt’s Creek
Kate McKinnon – SNL
Amy Schumer – I Feel Pretty

SCENE STEALER
WINNER- Madelaine Petsch (Cheryl Blossom) – Riverdale
Tiffany Haddish (Dina) – Girls Trip
Dacre Montgomery (Billy Hargrove) – Stranger Things
Taika Waititi (Korg) – Thor: Ragnarok
Letitia Wright (Shuri) – Black Panther

BEST FIGHT
WINNER-  Wonder Woman – Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman) vs. German Soldiers
Atomic Blonde – Charlize Theron (Lorraine) vs. Daniel Hargrave (Sniper), Greg Rementer (Spotter)
Avengers: Infinity War – Scarlett Johansson (Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow), Danai Gurira (Okoye), Elizabeth Olsen (Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch) vs. Carrie Coon (Proxima Midnight)
Black Panther – Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther) vs. Winston Duke (M’Baku)
Thor: Ragnarok – Mark Ruffalo (Hulk) vs. Chris Hemsworth (Thor)

BEST MUSIC DOCUMENTARY
WINNER-Gaga: Five Foot Two
Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop: A Bad Boy Story
Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated
Jay-Z’s “Footnotes for 4:44”
The Defiant Ones

BEST REALITY SERIES/FRANCHISE
WINNER- Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Love & Hip Hop
The Real Housewives
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Vanderpump Rules

BEST MUSICAL MOMENT (powered by truth)
WINNER-Stranger Things (Mike and Eleven dance to “Every Breath You Take”)
Black-ish (Cast performs “Freedom”)
Call Me by Your Name (Elio crying through the end credits)
Girls Trip (Girls Trip dance battle)
Love, Simon (“I Wanna Dance With Somebody” dream sequence)
Riverdale (Cast performs “A Night We’ll Never Forget”)
The Greatest Showman (Phillip and Anne sing “Rewrite the Stars”)
This Is Us (Kate sings “Landslide”)

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