Even though it hasn’t even been two full years since Ciara and Russell Wilson got married, Ciara apparently feels like she’s in a place to give some very heavy-handed marriage advice.
After Ciara shared some “advice” that didn’t go over very well with fans, she received quite a bit of backlash. Some believed that she was shaming women for not being married.
Now, Ciara is speaking out. But we’re not sure if this is going to smooth out those ruffled feathers.
Ciara seems to be one of those people who thinks that there’s one right way to do things — and it’s whatever way she happens to do them.
And she’s also apparently one of those people who thinks that she can just stand above everyone else and give out advice.
On Instagram, Ciara shared a video of a sermon with the quote:
“Too many women want to be married, but you’re walking in the spirit of ‘girlfriend,'” a quote by the pastor who is speaking in the video, John Gray.
Ciara then added to it: “#LevelUp. Don’t settle.”
As you can imagine, this didn’t exactly go over well with a lot of fans. Nobody follows singers to get preached to.
“Ciara’s playing a dangerous game. You should never, no matter how perfect your relationship/marriage appears to be, sit on a throne and tell people why they’re not romantically successful. You can be the queen of the ball today and have cake in your face tomorrow!”
Others took issue with the pastor’s line, and the distinction that he gives between wives and girlfriends, saying:
“The difference between the two is a ring and a piece of paper…this speech is a hot piece of garbage.”
Others brought up Ciara’s past. People who formerly lived in glass houses still shouldn’t throw rocks.
“Ciara telling women to ‘Level up’ and live ‘like a wife’ so they can b married is astounding to me. Didn’t you need grace, mercy, & compassion when you were being dragged up and down the Internet for the Future situation? How quickly ppl forget when they reach a perch of privilege.”
Some, however, defended Ciara, saying that fans were hypocritical and just rejecting the advice because it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.
“Y’all wanted to know how Ciara snatched a Russell Wilson, and she told y’all but now y’all mad. LMAO.”
Others lashed out at how people had brought up Ciara’s past.
“Ciara’s GROWTH has nothing to do with her denying her past …. Y’all heffas get mad at fellow women for trying to encourage you to do BETTER because you deserve better but you’re also upset when men degrade you. Y’all Just gotta play victim because Hoe is Life.”
We think that the issue is that “girlfriend” isn’t worse than “wife,” it’s just different. A lot of her fans felt like they were being shamed.
Ciara responded with an Instagram post that … well, it’s probably not going to endear her to the people who didn’t like her previous post.
“I was [once] that girl wanting to be loved a certain way bit was making the wrong choices. I found myself at my lowest moment.”
That sounds so sad.
“I was a single mom sitting at home, and then I realized that the perfect love I was looking for was how God loves me, how He wants me to be loved, and who He was calling me to be as a mom and a woman.”
A lot of folks are going to object to her describing single motherhood as her “lowest moment.”
“That’s when I realized married [or] not married… I needed to love myself. #LevelUp”
Self-love is a valuable thing to learn. Not everyone wants to get married now or to get married ever, but everyone wants to love themselves.
It’s not clear whether Ciara believes that Russell Wilson found her alleged godliness so attractive that he wanted to marry her, or if she believes that her current marriage is a divine reward.
A lot of fans still
Surely, if Ciara doesn’t like being mom-shamed, she shouldn’t … existence-shame women?
But we should acknowledge that this is what worked for Ciara. Clearly, some fans want to know how she found her current happiness, and she’s sharing it.
Just because it clearly wouldn’t work for everyone doesn’t mean that she’s wrong to share the advice, right?