Meghan Markle to Queen: Help! My Dad Is Ruining My Life!

Back in May, Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in front of an audience of millions.

The newlywed phase is a famously happy time for any couple, and as a bonus, Meghan recently became royalty.

All-in-all a pretty solid summer for the Suits actress.

Alas, her father, Thomas Markle, has devoted himself to raining on her parade the entire time.

In a seemingly endless series of interviews, Thomas has berated Meghan and attempted to destroy her carefully-cultivated public image.

Fortunately, most who are paying attention to the situation have been able to see through Thomas’ desperate con game.

As for what he stands to gain from all of this aside from the money he gets from the shady media outlets he’s been speaking to, that’s anyone’s guess.

As far as we can tell, Thomas is just a bitter SOB with an ax to grind — and not surprisingly, his anger is beginning to take a major emotional toll on his daughter.

Now, a source tells London tabloid The Mirror that Meghan has enlisted some help in dealing with her idiot dad:

“Meghan is deeply hurt by what is happening and everything is being done behind the scenes to make sure her welfare is at the top of the agenda,” says the insider.

“It’s an increasingly desperate ­situation and now it’s come down to three options being on the table.”

Those options are as follows:

“Firstly, Meghan could contact her father straight away and appeal to him directly to ask him to stop hurting her, but right now she’s decided to cut him off,” the source claims.

“There is a possibility an ­intermediary could meet with him and appeal to him to stop making such hurtful ­statements.

“The final option would be for Meghan to cut him off completely in the hope he will stop, but the situation is so precarious no one knows when that would be.”

According to Paul Dampier, a writer who has been covering the royal family for several decades, the feeling at Buckingham Palace is that the Thomas situation “has gotten out of control.”

“If this carries on I wouldn’t be surprised if the Queen herself gets involved and bangs a few heads together.”

Yes, there have been rumblings that QE2 is threatening to get involved.

We assume those heads Dampier referred to will be knocking around in a bucket after the Queen separates them from their bodies.

Sure she hasn’t beheaded anyone yet, but that’s gotta be on her monarchical bucket list, and at 92 she really shouldn’t go wasting any opportunities.


Man Sues Ex-Girlfriend For Ruining His Life and WINS!

It’s very likely that there was a time when you wanted to file suit against an ex following a particularly nasty breakup.

Perhaps the sight of your former partner clipping their toenails while eating sent you into a shame spiral that caused you to question every decision you’ve ever made.

Eric & Jennifer

Or maybe they ruined your friendships by showing up to pub trivia night and incessantly shouting, “Freebird!” during the music rounds.

Or they might have brought you to the brink of a meltdown by washing that NFL jersey you’ve had since you were a kid even though you told them it was game-worn and signed, Stacy, God!

Anyway, all of those annoyances pale in comparison to the suffering that Eric Abramovitz endured at the hands of his ex-girlfriend Jennifer Lee.

Eric and Jennifer met while they were both in college and within a month, they were living together and sharing a laptop.

Frankly, we’re side-eyeing both of them for moving that quickly, but hey, maybe it would have worked out — were it not for the fact that Jen is a bunny-boiling nutjob.

Eric Abramovitz

You see, Eric is one of the top clarinetists in the country, a fact that’s important for two reasons:

1. As a Canadian clarinetist, we assume he’s the most non-threatening man alive and doesn’t deserve to have his life ruined.

2. Jennifer decided to torpedo Eric’s clarinetting career in the most brutal way possible, apparently as some sort of twisted act of love.

Back in 2013, Eric was offered a chance to study the Colburn Conservatory in Los Angeles, where he would hone his craft alongside Yehuda Gilad, who is apparently considered the top clarinetist in the world.

Not only that, the school was prepared to offer Eric a $ 50,000 scholarship.

Great news, right?

Eric the Clarinet Guy

Well, not for Eric, because he didn’t find out about the offer until it was much too late.

Remember that shared laptop we mentioned earlier?

Yeah, Jen used that to delete the scholarship email and then decline the offer on Eric’s behalf.

In case that’s not psychotic enough for you, she then created a fake email address and pretended to be Gilad.

She emailed her boyfriend — posing as the world’s greatest clarinetist — and basically told him better luck next time.

Years later — after he and Lee had broken up — Abramovitz crossed paths with his would-be mentor and Gilad asked why he turned down the scholarship. 

Eric Rocks Out

“That’s when I knew something underhanded was afoot,” Eric told the Montreal Gazette.

That’s putting mildly.

Using a password that he knew was a favorite of Jen’s, Eric logged into the fake email account Jennifer had created.

Not only did he uncover the fake rejection letter she had penned herself, he found out she’d also turned him down on behalf of Julliard and other top schools.

The reason? She didn’t want him to move away and leave her behind.

Needless to say, Eric was a little dismayed to learn that his ex had willfully set his career back by several years, and he decided to take the matter before a judge.

This week, an Ontario judge awarded Ambramovitz $ 350,000 as compensation for irreparable career damage.

“I accept and find that Mr. Abramovitz lost a unique and prestigious educational opportunity, one that would have advanced his career as a professional clarinetist,” the judge said.

“I cannot speculate as to how high and how quickly Mr. Abramovitz’s career might have soared, but for the interference by Ms. Lee. But the law does recognize that the loss of a chance is a very real and compensable loss.”

Let this be a lesson to everyone who’s in a relationship, might one day be in a relationship, or just got out of a relationship:

Keep those passwords private, folks.


Kendra Wilkinson: Sorry for Ruining Your Life, Hank Baskett!

Earlier this week, Kendra tweeted and deleted accusations about Hank. She said that he recorded their conversations, blamed her for ending his football career, and blamed him for his own affair.

Kendra clearly thought better of it, deleting those tweets and instead putting up a heartfelt apology.

And, surprisingly, she even admitted responsibility for one of those things that Hank blames her for.

In some (yet again deleted) tweets, Kendra poured out her regrets by apologizing to her ex.

“I want to apologize publicly to Hank.”

One would assume that it was simply because she aired their dirty laundry, but there’s a twist.

“I was the reason your football career ended.”

That is … kind of a huge admission.

“I regret doing that to u and i hope you learn to forgive me one day.”

Honestly, given that the vast majority of football players endure massive, chronic brain trauma and other physical stresses that doom them to an early grave, she may have done him a favor.

But she doesn’t point that out. There’s a time and a place.

“I loved u and was always your number one fan.”

Kendra’s tweets continued.

“I was 24 when i got married. Now I’m 33.”

That’s publicly available information, but it’s not always easy to admit that you’re anything older than 29.

“I made a lot of mistakes through those young years and im sorry for making u feel the way i did.”

Well, we all know that Kendra can get a little … intense

“All i ever wanted was family because i never had a solid one.”

Viewers of Kendra on Top are all too aware of what Kendra’s mom is like.

“But me being immature was the reason i couldn’t give u more.”

The day before, Kendra had aired the couple’s difficult communications.

“He’s blaming me for his football career ending. He’s blaming me for cheating on me while I was pregnant.”

Hank allegedly hooked up with a transgender model while Kendra was pregnant with their daughter, Alijah.

This was years ago, and it is difficult to imagine how Kendra could have magically forced him to get an extramarital handie.

“I tried so hard. I did everything by the book and loved and i get s–t on. I’m so sorry for u all to feel awkward [right] now.”

She explains, apologetically, to her followers that she had freaked out when Hank (allegedly) started recording their conversation.

“When i was being recorded i felt threatened.”

Kendra Wilkinson apology tweet

In a non-deleted tweet, which is seeming scarcer and scarcer these days, Kendra writes:

“[I] am done tweeting about hank out of respect for my kids.”

People don’t think about this enough (though it’s been mentioned during recent Southern Charm drama), but celebrity children will one day grow up and have unlimited internet access just like everyone else.

A parent having a sex tape or whatever is just garden variety embarrassing. Seeing their parents feud … that’s something else.

“Love will always win and he’s a great guy…”

That sounds vague, like she just wanted to say something nice about Hank.

“We will all be fine after this hurdle is over.”

To be clear, we don’t think that she’s saying that she and Hank will be back together.

“Fine” can take a lot of forms, and so can families.

Kendra Wilkinson dick tweet

Kendra, being Kendra, also tweeted something of a very different nature.

“I think i just need some dick.”

That’s not a surprising admission. Kendra has openly described herself as “one horny-ass motherf–ker.

She had joked (we think) about wearing out the batteries on her personal sex toys (most electronic sex toys come with chargers these days) to explain her need for the real thing.

Some people have very high sex drives and feel like they’re losing their minds when they’re not having sex. Just like how some people cannot handle missing lunch.

Let’s hope that Kendra, um, gets everything that she needs.


Hilary Duff Blasts Pot-Smoking Neighbor: Stop Ruining My Life!!

Hilary Duff is coming clean … about her loathing for a certain thoughtless neighbor of hers.

She’s slammed people before, she’s taken to social media to call out this guy, by name. It sounds like he’s kind of ruining her life.

Well, Hilary is prepared to ruin his right back.

Taking to her Instagram stories, Hilary Duff has a lot to say about her neighbor, whom she identifies as Dieter Addison.

“Calling all New Yorkers with a–hole neighbors, really open to any advice you have.”

Here is her complaint.

“My neighbor smokes cigarettes and weed all night long.”

Unlike other health concerns that busybodies might have, smoking things impacts others.

“My apartment reeks.”

You would have to be catastrophically awful at, say, drinking soda or eating doughnuts for that simple activity to impact your neighbors.

Hilary reveals that she is at a loss.

“Seriously, what do I do?”

Hilary Duff ig story 01

She calls out Dieter directly, saying:

“We know your parents pay your rent, we know you’ve never worked a day in your life.”

She, on the other hand, has worked since childhood to amass her fortune.

“Must be nice.”

It sure must be.

“Have some respect for your neighbors who work hard to live in that building.”

Even if the guy were a self-made billionaire, it wouldn’t be cool to essentially flood his neighbor’s home with smoke.

“Don’t be a dick, dude. And put your trash down the chute.”

Hilary Duff ig story 02

Hilary continues, and explains why she is so irate.

“Slept 0 minutes last night because of Dieter the [eggplant emoji].”

Unlike how she supposes that he lives, she works. Hard.

“Worked 15 hours yesterday and back at work at 5:30am.”

She believes that he is so thoughtless because he does not understand what it is like to have actual responsibilities.

“This is the real world Dieter the [eggplant emoji]”

Note that she’s not including the eggplant emoji to indicate that he has a large penis or anything else of a sexual nature.

She’s just calling him a dick.

She continues to address him, saying:

“Your smoking ain’t delicious.”

It seems clear that, up to a point, she wishes him ill.

“I really hope your hangover hurts.”

Then her accusations take a much more serious turn.

“And another thing … stop breaking all your furniture when you fight with your girlfriend or boyfriend… it scares me and my kid.”

She has a 6-year-old son named Luca. But, to be clear, you don’t need a child to find that kind of thing frightening.

“Therapy is cheaper.”

She concludes it with the advice that many people were probably thinking that he should take.

“Get a vape.”

Vape pens, of course, are much less of an assault upon the noses of people nearby.

(Please do not use them in restaurants, however — this is not The Purge)

Though possession of small amounts of marijuana has been decriminalized in New York, it is a wonder that Hilary has not called the police during one of those fights.

Not just because it would be a convenient way to disrupt his life as he is disrupting hers, but because breaking furniture is alarming and toxic behavior and perhaps the police should be involved.

Maybe this callout post will shame this neighbor into behaving.

But we wouldn’t suggest that Hilary hold her breath. Except, of course, to avoid inhaling the smoke.


Meghan Markle Bashed By Brother: She’s Ruining Our Family!

We’re just weeks away from the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, and royal insiders say the preparations are proceeding apace.

Of course, not everyone is pleased with the news updates coming out of Kensington Palace.

Harry and Meghan’s invitations were sent out last week, and while estimates on the size of the guest list have varied widely, sources concur that several members of Meghan’s immediate family were snubbed.

Meghan’s sketchy half-sister, Samantha Markle, has already complained that she didn’t receive an invitation.

Although we can’t imagine that came as much of a surprise, as Samantha has basically been making a career of trash-talking her sister ever since the world learned Meghan was dating Harry.

And unfortunately, she’s not the only sketchy Markle sibling.

Meghan has a half-brother named Thomas Markle Jr., and he’s also been throwing shade for anyone who cares to listen.

In fact, his assessments of Meg might be even more brutal than Samantha’s – but remarkably, Thomas still believes his invitation is in the mail.

“She’s clearly forgotten her roots. It’s torn my entire family apart,” Thomas recently told The Daily Mail.

“Meg likes to portray herself as a humanitarian, a people’s person and a charitable person but she is none of those things to her family.”

Thomas went on to claim that Meghan is a master con artist who has successfully pulled the wool over the Royal Family’s eyes:

“She is giving the greatest ­performance of her life. She is acting phoney,” Thomas says.

“I’ve read that Meg wants to be like Diana. Diana was worshipped by everyone in the world. She was loved for the right reasons. That’s what Meg wants, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. She’s not genuine like Diana.”

At this stage, we’d lke to remind you that despite repeatedly trashing his half-sister in the press, Thomas Markle still believes he’ll be rubbing elbows with royalty next month:

“I haven’t got an invite yet but I do expect to get one,” he said.

“It would be really nice [to get an invitation] and it would mean a lot. I do expect one and I’m looking forward to going. I don’t see why not. It is what it is. I am family, estranged or not.’

Markle Jr’s ex-wife Tracey Dooley and son Tyler, 26, have already spoken with the press and revealed that they were snubbed.

They might want to have a talk with Thomas and help him manage his expectations.


Brandi Glanville: Lisa Vanderpump Is Still Ruining My Life!!

Last week, in a stunning turn of events, Brandi Glanville and Leann Rimes quashed their feud.

But Leann wasn’t the only other celeb with whom Brandi had a beef.

And in a new podcast episode, she’s making it clear that her feud with Lisa Vanderpump is still going strong.

Brandi Glanville may be a generally likable person with sympathetic struggles, but she sure knows how to feud.

Leann Rimes was her most famous enemy until the two buried the hatchet. 

But Leann has dragged Gerard Butler and quarreled with Amber Portwood and is always prepared to say exactly what she thinks of someone.

And her feud with Lisa Vanderpump is no new thing.

See, Vanderpump Rules star Scheana Shay had an affair with Brandi’s ex, Eddie Cibrian while Brandi and Eddie were still together.

And Brandi believes that Lisa brought that about by deliberately putting Scheana in Eddie’s path.

(Though, to be clear, that would still be 100% Eddie’s fault)

So, fresh from making nice with Leann and Eddie for the good of the children (and, honestly, for their own good), Brandi is speaking on her podcast, Brandi Glanville Unfiltered.

And she shares that she’s not really taking it well that Scheana Shay now has her own podcast.

Brandi of course knows that anyone can do a podcast, but at the same time, coming from Scheana, it apparently feels a little invasive.

“Oh, my God. I’m being cheated on again with Scheana.”

As if the concept of podcasting itself were stepping out on her with Scheana, we suppose.

Earlier this year, Scheana spoke about Brandi.

“She asked me to be on her podcast.”

But she was hesitant to agree.

“But out of respect for Lisa, I haven’t accepted that offer yet.”

That’s … interesting, since most people would not feel the need to ask the permission of a third party.

Brandi did not take it well. Specifically, she says that she “saw red” when she heard that Scheana would wait for Lisa’s blessing.

“Are you kidding?”

Brandi really does not like getting obstructed in this manner.

“This b–ch is still ruining my life. I’ve been here almost five years.”

She means that she has been podcasting for that long.

“This is the one thing that I have that she can’t touch, and now she’s telling me whether I can interview Scheana or not?”

Brandi goes on, continuing to rail against Lisa.

“[Lisa] is very controlling.”

But she says that she won’t back down.

“I’m not afraid of Lisa, obviously, but she did try to ruin my life for the past four years.”

Again, she feels like podcasting is her territory.

“And then having her just in this world, I was like: ‘Hell, no.'”

So that’s its own mess.

But at least Brandi is no longer feuding with Leann Rimes.

And she even made it official, tweeting:

“The three of us sat and talked for hours hashed everything out and the feud with @leannrimes Eddie and I is over! They will not be getting rid of me on any holidays #modernfamily”

That is such wonderful news!

For the adults and also for the children.


Tyler Baltierra: Catelynn Lowell Is Ruining My Diet!

Back in December, Catelynn Lowell left rehab after six weeks of intensive treatment for trauma and other emotional issues

Shortly thereafter, Lowell checked back in, after apparently deciding she wasn’t ready to return to her often hectic life.

It’s been reported that Catelynn recently suffered a miscarriage and has been struggling to cope with the crushing loss. 

That still hasn’t been confirmed by the Baltierras, but whatever the case, we know that Lowell is prioritizing her mental and physical health these days after going through a very difficult time.

The recovery process has reportedly required Catelynn to make some major changes to her diet.

Sources say she’s excited about the prospect of turning a corner with regard to her health.

And one person who’s reportedly very happy about Catelynn’s new commitment to nutrition and weight loss is her husband, Tyler Baltierra.

As you may remember, Tyler was accused of fat-shaming Catelynn after he made some brutal comments about her weight on an episode of Teen Mom OG.

“That’s a big assquesadilla, it has a lot of chicken,” Baltierra said while Lowell was eating.

“It’s your body, you could do what you want. Obviously I don’t want no heifer for a wife!”

He later added:

“Would you want to be married to some big heifer?”

Sadly, it seems these days, he’s not being much more supportive.

Balterra has lost some weight in recent weeks, and he recently revealed that he did so despite – not because of – Catelynn.

Recently a Twitter follower asked Tyler if he’s concerned that losing weight so rapidly might cause Cateltynn to feel insecure and exacerbate her depression.

He basically responded that he couldn’t care less:

“The only one responsible for managing Cate’s emotions… is Cate. I have goals too that I refuse to put on the back burner,” Tyler tweeted.

Shortly thereafter, he accused her of sabotaging his diet:

“When I started my health kick Cate didn’t want to join me and kept ordering pizza and I had to eat my salad while staring at the beauty of that perfect looking, cheesy pepperoni greatness!” Baltierra tweeted.

Watch Teen Mom OG online for more classy behavior from Tyler.