Lindsay Lohan is Writing a TV Show About Cool Russians, Apparently Doesn’t Watch the News

No one has ever really claimed that Lindsay Lohan has her finger on the pulse, so to speak.

We’re sure she’s taken her own pulse to gauge her overdose proximity on more than one occasion, but even at the height of her fame, Linds wasn’t exactly the kind of star that you look to to find out about the hottest cultural trends.

She’s more the type you look to if your connection just dried up and you’re starting to get the sweats.

Anyway, all of this is to say that Lindsay isn’t exactly a walking NPR, and living abroad for most of the past two years doesn’t seem to have done much to broaden her horizons.

Despite the fact that she has no experience behind the camera, and Hollywood has been spent the past decade treating her like she has a visible case of ringworm, and her knowledge of our geo-political is probably on par with that of an unusually bright ferret, Linds wants to try her hand at writing and directing a series about the fraught relationship between the US and Russia.

“She was saying she’s writing it with a partner for Netflix,” a source close to Lohan tells Page Six.

“And that they’re writing it every day while she’s in town. She described it as being about ‘Russian oligarchs’ — three princesses, and covering different ages.”

“She plans to act and co-direct or direct, but said she hasn’t decided yet.”

The source says that Lohan also described the show as “kind of like [Netflix series] ‘The OA,’ ” adding:

“She was saying she’s going to Moscow to see some of the people that are working on it with her.”

Now, to be clear: we’re not saying Russia should be off-limits in terms of stories being produced in Hollywood.

After all, The Americans has consistently been one of TV’s sharpest dramas for five seasons now.

But there are several key differences between Lindsay’s project and the acclaimed FX series:

For one thing, The Americans isn’t written by Lindsay Lohan.

We say that only partially in jest.

Lindsay has no professional writing experience, and as far as we know, she’s never even expressed an interest in putting pen to paper, so a full television series about life in a country that’s making daily headlines might be a bit ambitious for her first project.

On top of that, Linds might be a little too close to the source material.

Until recently, Lindsay was engaged to a rich Russian, and to the surprise of literally no one, it ended badly.

She might think this makes her just the person to write about the life of wealthy Mucovites.

She would be wrong.

On top of that, Lindsay might not want to remind the world about her own experience with international intrigue.

Lindsay did some work for the Turkish government recently, and both parties tried and failed to keep their arrangement on the down-low.

As General Michael Flynn is frequently being reminded these days, accepting money from a foreign government, but not registering as a foreign agent is actually kind of a big deal.

We know that Turkey and Russia are two different countries, but Linds might want to downplay her role as a latter day Carmen San Diego until this thing blows over.

Not surprisingly, Netflix has declined to comment on Lindsay’s planned project, so it’s possible that this show will only appear on a piece of cardboard that’s decorated to look in LiLo’s living room.