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Duggars Offer Back-to-School Advice (Despite the Fact They’ve Never Sent Their Kids to School)

The days are getting shorter, the never-used golf clubs and camping equipment are gathering dust, and the nagging sense that you’re wasting the best years of your life withering away under the harsh glare of fluorescent lights in a cubicle that seems to get smaller by the day is growing more profound.

This can only mean one thing — autumn is upon us.

All over the country, kids are back in the classroom, but for the Duggar family, there aren’t too many changes around the compound this time of year.

That’s because the Duggar kids are homeschooled.

Yes, not one of Jim Bob and Michelle’s 19 kids has ever set foot inside an actual classroom.

And yet, for some reason, the family still feels it’s their duty to offer back-to-school advice to their devoted fanbase.

“I know many moms and dads are in ‘back-to-school’ mode and have a thousand things to think about and many stressors in your life,” Michelle wrote on the Duggars official Facebook page this week.

“Recently, I was reading in God’s word,” Michelle continued.

“‘Be anxious for nothing.’ It was such a beautiful reminder that God has everything in control. He is working things out on our behalf. We have to place our trust in Him and He will direct our steps.”

Decent advice, but it’s easy for someone to tell you to just chill out when they’re not the ones who have to buy their kid a separate three-ring binder for every freakin’ class.

As In Touch Weekly points out, many commenters took issue with the Duggars’ advice for stressed-out parents.

“Oh, the overt irony of that post,” wrote one Facebook user.

Others echoed the sentiment, and it’s not hard to see why they’re so resentful of advice issued by someone who simply cannot relate to their plight.

Obviously, homeschooling 19 kids is no easy task — but the Duggars have had plenty of help.

If you’re a longtime fan of the family, you probably already know that the Duggars employ a buddy system, meaning that each child is assigned a younger sibling to look after — and educate.

Now that so many Duggars have left the nest, most of the tutoring duties fall not to Michelle, but to Jana.

Yes, with the help of her friend Laura DeMasie, Jana Duggar has been homeschooling her siblings for years.

Some have gone so far as to suggest that the reason Jana is still single is that she’s so busy with helping to raise her siblings that she’s had no time to find a partner.

We don’t know if that’s true, but we do know that Michelle is not the ideal person to be dispensing back-to-school advice.

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Derick Dillard Makes Jill Duggar Sit Through Law School Class, Calls It a Date

Most people have been on a horrendous date or two in their lives.

Maybe the guy conveniently left his wallet at home, or you made reservations at a steakhouse before finding out your date’s a vegetarian.

But no matter how many boring or awkward nights you’ve been forced to endure, you can probably say that no one ever forced you to find a babysitter just so you can sit next to them during a class or tort reform or some similarly boring BS.

The photo above was posted on Derick Dillard’s Instagram page on Wednesday.

He captioned the pic:

“Glad my favorite study buddy @jillmdillard was able to come to class yesterday! You’ve gotta find alone time (no kids) whenever you can! Thanks @jessaseewald for babysitting!”

Jill and Derick Dillard with Family

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Yes, Derick Dillard is in law school these days, and since men of the Duggar clan don’t do anything without the help of their women, he apparently brings Jill to class with him.

Because every harried stay-at-home mom who homeschools her kids dreams of getting a night off so that she can sit there and take notes for her husband.

Commenters on the pic were understandably curious as to why in the hell Derick would drag Jill along on such an incredibly lame “date.”

The most likely answer, of course, is that Jesus instructed him to bore the hell out of his wife.

As you may recall Derick has claimed that God wants him to go to law school.

Presumably, this is so that he can fight for school children to be taught that the Earth is 6,000 years old and Jesus invented the AR-15 while feeding his brontosaurus.

Anyway, Duggar men are taught from a young age that God wants them to be obscenely wealthy and if they’re faithful enough, he’ll set them on the path to fame and fortune.

(Kind of goes against the many passages in the Bible in which Jesus condemns those who amass large amounts of wealth, but that’s a conversation for another time.)

Conversely, Duggar women are told that their role in life is to be submissive and do as they’re told.

Their purpose on this planet, according to the Duggars’ brand of fundamentalism, is to help their husbands get rich.

And so, if Derick wants Jill to help him take notes in class, she would likely see that as her divinely-ordained duty.

So we guess that her date nights will look a lot like this for the next few years.

Hopefully, she’ll be able to hold onto that fake smile.

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School Employee Admits to Losing Her Virginity to 15-Year-Old Student

This is yet another story of a school employee having sex with a minor.

A former middle school employee was arrested after she confessed to police.

The woman claims that she “fell in love” with her underage victim … and that she lost her virginity to him.

Hannah Siboyeh mugshot

Hannah Siboyeh is a former employee of Cypress-Fairbanks Independent School District.

In July of 2017, she was 23 when she began an elleged sexual relationship with an underage student.

The student has not been identified, of course, as he is both a minor and the victim.

But it sounds like the former Labay Middle School student was 15 at the time.

According to court documents, Siboyeh has acknowledged that what she did was the result of “one mistake after another.”

Hannah Siboyeh Gif 01

Authorities learned about this on April 5th, 2018, after another student came forward to an assistant principal.

They had apparently been at the student’s home and they noticed that Siboyeh was allegedly in bed with the student.

Court documents state that the student reported the two “lying in bed together and that weird noises would be coming from the room.”

That is, emphatically, not appropriate for any adult and minor. Good for that student for recognizing that and having the bravery to come forward.

When investigators spoke to witnesses, they confirmed that the boy and Siboyeh were engaged in a “boyfriend girlfriend” type relationship.

Hannah Siboyeh Gif 02

Court documents say that Siboyeh didn’t exactly hold out under interrogation.

When confrontated by law enforcement at the middle school, she is said to have “started crying and stated that she lost her virginity to” the victim.

“She admitted that she loved [the teen] with all of her heart,” the documents read.

“She described the relationship as one mistake after another,” the documents say. “And admitted that it was her fault because she was the grownup and was older.”

Not that it makes anything else okay, but it’s good that she is at least not blaming the minor. It is always the adult’s responsibility.

Hannah Siboyeh

Siboyeh posted the $ 10,000 bond on Friday and was able to go free.

She is of course instructed to avoid any contact with her victim or his family.

Additionally, she is to avoid going within 200 feet of any sort of school or child care center, and she is also to give that clearance to the boy’s home.

She has been instructed to avoid contact with anyone under the age of 17.

A little less intuitively, she has been forbidden from accessing the internet. Presumably so that she does not contact her vicitm … or any new ones.

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Jon Gosselin: Look, Kate! I’m Sending Hannah to School!

Jon Gosselin appears to be using his daughter as a way to throw shade at his ex-wife.

Shocking, we know.

We’ll give you a minute to pick your jaw up off the floor…

Just a few days after Kate Gosselin shared a photo of her kids’ first day back at school, Jon Gosselin has gone ahead and posted personal highlight from daughter Hannah’s debut as an eighth grader.

“Congrats Hannah on your first day of school, proud of you. I admire your bravery starting fresh!!!” Jon wrote as a caption to the image below, adding;

“I Love you very much and we have worked really hard to get here. Dedication has really paid off.”

It does seem as though Jon and Hannah have worked really hard to mend what was once a contentious relationship.

For about a month now, Jon has shared images of himself and this daughter, actually spending quality time as a small family unit.

Concluded Jon in the message he attached to this snapshot:

“I’m so happy you integrated yourself into the community, you made friends all summer and now you will grow and graduate with them. I’m honored to be your father!!!

“Love you, Dad #newbeginnings.”

Back on Father’s Day, Hannah wrote on Instagram that she loved Jon and that he was “the best dad anyone could ask for.”

This came as quite a shock to anyone who has followed his adventures after he and Kate split up and would have come to the exact opposite conclusion as a result.

However, Jon and Hannah celebrated July Fourth together this year and sources have even said that Jon now has primary custody of the teenager.

Of course, Kate herself does NOT say this.

In the latest fight between the cantakerous and irritating exes, Kate has objected to Jon’s claim that Hannah “permanently” resides with him.

“[Kate] maintains full custody of all eight of her kids,” a source familiar with the situation told People Magazine a couple weeks ago.

This seems like a really simple issue to resolve. We’re not really sure how there can be a debate over which parent Hannah is residing with.

But we’re not sure how Jon and Kate managed to live in the same house for years without killing each other, either.

In the end, as long as the children are safe, happy and healthy… hey, whatever.

We figure Jon shared this image of Hannah going off to school as a pretty clear jab toward Kate, to make it appear to the public as if he’s the one in charge of her life.

As for which side we’re taking in this never-ending feud?

HA!

We know far better than to get involved here.

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12-Year Old Blends Into Green Screen for School Pics, Hilarity Ensues

Heretofore random Facebook user Laurel Hutsell said she had her son's school picture day all planned out.

She picked out clothing for him to wear. She knew how she wanted his hair to look, she had talked to him about smiling nice and big and proudly.

There was just one problem this summer when this 12-year old Missouri resdident when off to seventh grade for his class photo.

He was wearing a bright green shirt.

And the photographer was using a green screen behind his subjects in order to give parents a variety of background options from which they could choose for the final version.

"We had this whole conversation, which makes this hilarious,'' Hutsell told Today about the snafu, adding:

"We practiced the smile, like don't squint your eyes and look like someone is coming up beyond you, and run your fingers through your hair right before."

All this practice could not prepare young Carter for what was to come, however.

Due to the combination of the green screen and the green shirt, well… scroll down to see what happened.

(And don't be afraid to laugh; Laurel shared these pictures on Facebook and she finds them hilarious as well.)

1. The Shirt

Green shirt kid
It’s nice, right? It stands out, it’s clean and pressed and Carter looks very handsome in it.

2. And Then This Happened!

Momfb
We agree: his hair and his smile were totally on point! Ready to see for yourselves, readers?

3. HA!

Its 2018
“At least we know it’s 2018,” Laurel wrote as a caption to this first example of the green screen at work.

4. Come On, Green Shirt!

Blueish shirt
It’s working so hard to show itself here. We’re dying of laughter.

5. He’s Feeling Gray in This One

Very gray
He’s just feeling so very, very, very gray.

6. Barney Probably Likes This One

Very purple
“Not even sure what to say about this one,” wrote the mother as a caption to this one. She’s nearly as funny as the pictures themselves.

View Slideshow
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Kate Gosselin Sends Kids Off to School Amidst Custody Controversy

Six kids.

Two new grades.

And one proud and sentimental mother.

Amidst yet another battle with her awful ex-husband, Kate Gosselin has shared a fresh photo of her sextuplets, but it’s not just any photo.

It wasn’t snapped on just any day.

It was taken on the first day of eighth grade for Aaden, Joel, Alexis and Leah; and the first day of their senior year in high school for 17-year olds Mady and Cara.

“Feels like school never ended,” Kate wrote as a caption on Instagram. “And they’re already back! #SeniorYear #EighthGrade #ProudMom.”

As we’re certain many readers will note, the heartwarming photograph is missing two kids: Hannah and Collin.

In 2016, Kate revealed that her now-14-year-old son had moved out of her Wernersville, Pennylvania residence to enroll in an education program that teaches “life skills” to help him overcome his “educational and social challenges.”

She hasn’t said much about Collin since, which has angered and confused many celebrity gossip followers.

This is what Gosselin admitted a couple years ago about Collin, though:

“There’s a fairly fluid diagnosis of what those needs are, but he needs to learn certain strategies to help him deal with things.

“This has been a struggle we’ve had for a very long time, and it’s one I’ve dealt with on my own.”

What about Hannah, however?

This is where the aforementioned controversy with Jon comes into play.

The teenager has been spending a lot of time of late with her dad, which is encouraging we guess.

For years, it seemed as Jon was an absentee father at best; a total deadbeat and bankrupt dad at worst.

Now, though, Jon has seemingly gone in the opposite direction when it comes to Hannah at least, as he wrote on social media that this daughter now lives with him “permanently.”

Except she doesn’t. Not according to Kate.

“[Kate] maintains full custody of all eight of her kids,” a source familiar with the situation told People Magazine this week, further confounding everyone who follows this situation.

Why would anyone actually follow this situation anymore?

That’s a fair question.

It’s almost impossible to remember that Jon and Kate rose to fame back in 2007 when TLC debuted the series Jon & Kate Plus 8; it chronicled the crazy lives of this couple and their eight kids.

In June of 2009, however, the Gosselins announced they were splitting, surprising absolutely no one who had watched them fight, scream and yell at each other for years.

Ever since, Jon and Kate have battled in public and in the press over their children and over which of them sucks more.

In 2015, Jon filed for full custody of Hannah, but he was denied.

We’re glad she’s getting along better with her father these days, but we still feel sorry for Hannah and her siblings.

Because Jon is still her father.

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Derick Dillard: Yep, I’m Going to Law School!

Remember how we told you that Derick Dillard thinks that God wants him to go to law school?

At the time, that was based upon some leaked information. But now, it’s official. Derick has announced that he’s going to become an attorney.

So, we’ll ask again: do you want this guy as your lawyer?

On Instagram, Jill Dillard wrote “Exciting announcement!”

She linked to the family website, where she shared the news.

“We are excited,” they wrote. “To announce our future plans!”

Fans should be excited, too — because Jill and Derick won’t be begging them for more cash to fund their mission work.

“We will be remaining stateside for now,” they reveal.

They go on to write that they’ll be remaining in the U.S. “as Derick is beginning law school at the University of Arkansas.”

Though this news broke about a month ago thanks to some cyber sleuths, this is the first that Derick and Jill have announced it.

“We look forward,” the message continues. “To seeing how God will continue to direct our family in this new chapter of life!”

Since they’re not asking fans to fund his newfound interest in the law, it is widely believed that Derick may be paying the $ 16,000 per year law school tuition.

A few fans have also suggested that perhaps Derick has found some ultra-conservative groups to fund his education, but that’s purely speculation.

Instagram commenters met this news with … mixed responses.

“Good luck derek,” one wrote. “If u don’t anything nice to say, then don’t say it.”

That sentiment came up a lot — but also got shot down by people who say that Derick himself does not live by any such creed.

“I highly doubt he would turn away a gay client,” one commenter asserted. “Just because someone identifies as Christian, does not mean they are homophobic.”

That’s absolutely true — but Derick’s own views towards the LGBTQ+ community are infamous.

“You see nothing wrong with Derick’s actions and words?!” one commenter asked another. “I bet if Jazz was your family member you would feel differently!!”

Not every comment was political! Some commenters were, well, a little hornier than you’d expect.

“He looks more handsome all dressed up,” wrote one thirsty followers. “However that time when his hair was so long he did look good too.”

But yes, a lot of the comments were arguments.

One person suggested that the country needed more attorneys in order to defend religious liberties.

“There is a separation of church and state in this country that needs to remain intact,” another commenter responded. 

“By your logic,” they continued. “Then the need for more Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, etc., lawyers are needed as well. And just so you know, I’m a Christian minister.”

“Regardless of the motive behind it,” wrote another. “What Derrick did was blatant, unprovoked, hateful bullying.”

That same commenter continued: “Just because he’s a man of god does not make him better or smarter or put him in a position to tell others how to live their life.”

Religious discourse can be very interesting on its own, but it shows the anxieties that Derick and Jill’s followers have. 

What sort of attorney would Derick be? Not, one imagines, a civil rights attorney.

Many believe that he’s just setting the stage for an attempt at a political career.

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