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Forgive the most obvious pun in the history of writing, but it simply must be done.
And here it goes:
Mike Sorrentino officially finds himself in a bad situation.
As sorry as we are for going there, we’re guessing this Jersey Shore mainstay is even more sorry at the moment for having not paid his taxes back in the day.
He has been sentenced to eight months in jail as a result.
The MTV personality and his brother Marc were indicted in September 2014.
Then, in January of this year, they pleaded guilty to one count of tax evasion and actually faced a five-year prison sentence. (Marc was sentenced to 24 months in prison on Friday.)
Fast forward seven days to this morning and The Situation was accompanied to the courthouse by fiancee Lauren Pesce.
All the familiar Jersey Shore names — Jenni “JWoww” Farley, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Deena Cortese, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Vinny Guadagnino, Pauly “DJ Pauly D” DelVecchio and Angelina Pivarnick — were all spotted on the scene as well.
So Sorrentino at least had plenty of support when he learned his fate.
On top of the eight-month prison sentence, Mike must also complete 500 hours of community service and was given $ 123,913 in restitution already paid, plus a fine of $ 10,000 that must be paid within 30 days.
The day before the sentencing, Snooki told Us Weekly that the cast was “hoping for the best,” adding of The Situation:
“He’s just such a good person. He changed for the better. He’s a totally different person. He doesn’t deserve this right now, but obviously you gotta get that done.”
Sorrentio and Pesce are allegedly planning a prison wedding at some point within the next year, as Mike tries to give himself something positive to look forward to in light of this news.
In pre-sentencing memos obtained by the Associated Press yesterday, Sorrentino’s lawyer argued he should receive probation, stating that the MTV star played a minimal role in the supposed financial conspiracy …
… and has worked diligently to overcome substance abuse in the time since his arrest.
Conversely, prosecutors asked for a jail sentence of 14 months, arguing that such time would send the message that “tax fraud will be met with real punishment.”
They also noted that Sorrentino’s substance addiction didn’t stop him from structuring cash deposits to avoid government scrutiny.
Sorrentino has been to rehab on two occasions to try and overcome this addiction.
Earlier this year, he told People Magazine that he has “worked so hard to turn my life around and be the best person I can be,” adding the following of appearing on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation Season 2.
“I had a very strong foundation for my recovery with over two years [sober] when I entered the house.
“But I did have to challenge myself to go out and film a whole season of Jersey Shore and have fun without alcohol — to show the youth out there that it is possible.”
The Situation’s status for Season 3 of this reality show revival is unknown right now.
But it isn’t looking good.
The guy who attacked Pacman Jones — and then got his ASS KICKED by the NFL star — has just been sentenced to 1 year behind bars … court officials tell TMZ Sports. We broke the story … Jones was walking through the Atlanta International…
Bill Cosby may spend the rest of his life in prison.
The disgraced comedian was sentenced to three-10 years behind bars on Tuesday, following his conviction in April on charges of drugging and raping Andrea Constand in 2004.
He will serve this time in state prison.
Cosby is currently 81 years old, so you can do the math in terms of whether he ever walks out of the big house a free man.
But many people will say this is the justice he deserves.
After more than 60 women came forward over the past few years and accused him of sexual assault, the public outcry was intense.
Heck, many people will say he deserves a far harsher punishment than he was handed today, but it’s no slap on the wrist.
Prior to his sentencing, Cosby was officially labeled a “sexually violent predator.”
This means his name will appear on a sex-offender registry, which is sent to neighbors and schools.
He also must commit to lifetime counseling and has been ordered to report quarterly to authorities.
Also in court Tuesday, prosecutors released Constand’s complete victim impact statement.
It was five pages in length and it detailed the harrowing experience of being sexually assaulted by Cosby, along with how this incident continued to plague her through life… up to and including today.
“I wasn’t sure what had actually happened but the pain spoke volumes,” she wrote of what transpired, adding:
“The shame was overwhelming. Self-doubt and confusion kept me from turning to my family or friends as I normally did.”
“I felt completely alone, unable to trust anyone, including myself…”
“The psychological, emotional and financial bullying included a slander campaign in the media that left my entire family reeling in shock and disbelief,” continued Constand in a lengthy message that we’ve excerpted below.
Focusing on the period shortly after the rape, during which she still had to work with Cosby in the Temple University athletic department, Constand wrote:
“The sound of his voice over the phone felt like a knife going through my guts.
“The sight of the man who drugged and sexually assaulted me coming into the basketball office filled me with dread…”
Following a mistrial in the summer of 2017, Cosby’s re-trial lasted 13 days this past spring.
It included testimony from Constand and five other women who claim they were also drugged and sexually assaulted by the disgusting star.
Despite the influx of women who have accused him of these heinous crimes, Cosby has maintained his innocence.
He’s even joked about the allegations and said at times that the women (like, ALL the women) were simply racist and had it out for him; a very famous African-American role model.
Seriously, Cosby has to be one of the worst handful of people on the planet.
Over two days in mid-April, however, Constand testified that Cosby gave her wine and three blue pills to “take the edge off” before he sexually assaulted her at his home near Philadelphia in January of 2004.
“When the sexual assault happened, I was a young woman brimming with confidence and looking forward to a future bright with possibilities,” she wrote the aforementioned impact statement.
“Now, almost 15 years later, I’m a middle-aged woman who’s been stuck in a holding pattern for most of her adult life, unable to heal fully or to move forward.”
Throughout this entire ordeal, Cosby’s wife, Camille, and his daughters – Erika, Errin and Evin – have stood by the star’s side.
Camille even released a lengthy, blistering statement after her husband’s conviction five months ago, in which she said in part:
“This is mob justice, not real justice.”
That was her say at the time.
But Judge Steven T. O’Neill got the final say in court this afternoon, stating simply:
“It is time for justice in a court of law. The day has come. The time has come.”
UPDATE: Cosby was denied bail in court, handcuffed and taken straight to jail.
10:55 AM PT — Bill Cosby will serve 3 to 10 years in a Pennsylvania state prison. The judge just announced the length of sentence. The judge has denied Cosby bail. If Cosby serves the full term, he’ll be 91 when he’s released. In imposing…
Early this year, 90 Day Fiance star Jorge Nava was arrested with a massive amount of marijuana.
He makes his money from legal pot, but at the time, he was in Arizona.
Now, he and Anfisa have revealed, he has been sentenced to more than two years behind bars.
In an interview with TMZ, Jorge Nava explains why he made a plea deal rather than fighting for his day in court.
"When I first started," Jorge says. "With the charges against me, I was looking at like 24 years or something like that, some ridiculous number."
Well, it's not like there's a reasonable number of years to lose from your life because of a naughty plant, but like one-third of the average lifespan is … evil.
"But luckily my lawyer was able to work out a plea agreement," Jorge says. "I ended up pleading to a Class 4 felony in Arizona."
The plea deal is better than what he had been facing for transporting 300 pounds of pot, but it's a far cry from probation and a stern warning.
Jorge has been sentenced to two-and-a-half years behind bars. One tenth of the time he might have spent, but still a very long time.
"I feel like it’s really harsh of a penalty for the crime," Jorge tells TMZ. "Just because it’s marijuana-related."
"And," Jorge reminds everyone. "Right now it’s going legal in a lot of states.”
“It’s actually medically legal in Arizona," Jorge points out. "I just feel like going to prison over the same stuff that’s legal is kind of crazy to me."
Weird to think that crossing an imaginary line with one type of plant in your car can ruin your life.
Anfisa posted a video about Jorge's legal battle. We've included the video, but Anfisa wants everyone to know that the video does not tell the whole story.
"Hi guys…" Anfisa wrote after uploading the video.
"I was finishing editing this video after I found the actual outcome," Anfisa reveals. "And I’m shocked by what Jorge got."
This is a woman whose husband is going to prison.
"PS," she adds. "I actually made a mistake in the end. He got 2.5 years."
To rub salt in the wound, Jorge laments that he could have avoided prison time.
"[My lawyer] told me if I didn’t have an priors, I would have probably got probation,” Jorge says.
“I would have been a first-time offender in Arizona," he shares. "But, I had two previous convictions for cultivation of marijuana."
It wasn't that long ago that marijuana was illegal in California — and the rest of the country.
"Just to set that straight; that’s my criminal record," Jorge makes clear. "I’ve never done anything else. I’ve never even had a DUI."
Judge Billy Sipe clearly did not see things Jorge's way.
Jorge's attorney implored the court to consider his client's "young age" when ruling on his sentence.
Jorge is, last we checked, 26. That's not old, exactly, but not generally an age where courts choose leniency as they might for a teenager.
Desperate, his attorney even asked the judge to take into account Jorge's "job in the television industry." Yeah, that did not work, either.
Judge Sipe gave Jorge the maximum sentence behind bars that the deal that he had reached with prosectors would allow.
Many fans don't particularly like Jorge — or Anfisa, for that matter. But it's one thing to dislike a man. It's quite another to want him to lose years off of his life.
But like him, hate him, or feel sorry for him, some fans have to ask: does this mean the end of Jorge and Anfisa on 90 Day Fiance?
It might. Producers may decide that Jorge and Anfisa are old news, and that Jorge's imprisonment makes involving him in the show too difficult.
But if producers are smart, they'll recognize that Anfisa and Jorge are polarizing enough for it to be worth the extra effort.
Plenty of shows do interviews with people who are behind bars. 90 Day Fiance doesn't have to be any different.
That is assuming that Jorge and Anfisa still want to be on camera — and still want to remain a couple. Prison can really change a marriage.