Steve Bannon Steps Down From Breitbart to Spend More Time With Bottle of Gin

Throughout Donald Trump’s unexpected ascendancy from walking punchline to walking punchline with nuke codes, political strategist and oily sack of potatoes discovered in the back of the cupboard on moving day Steve Bannon was one of the president’s most trusted and influential advisers.

Of course, Trump aides have proven to have roughly the same shelf life as Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers at Hogwarts, so it came as no surprise when Bannon was booted from the White House back in August.

What followed, however, was an unexpectedly abrupt downfall befitting a man who once favorably compared himself to Darth Vader and Satan.

Bannon delivered that quote to The Hollywood Reporter’s Michael Wolff, who’s made headlines this week thanks to his controversial book Fire and Fury, which details his experiences inside the Trump White House.

In the most widely-circulated passage, Wolff reveals that Bannon described a 2016 meeting between Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort and group of influential Russians as “treasonous.”

Bannon later attempted to walk back his remark, claiming that he only meant to label disgraced campaign manager Manafort as a traitor, not the president’s son.

However, the damage had been done, and Bannon soon found himself atop the Donald’s ever-lengthening sh-t list.

Of course, falling out of favor with the human throbbing forehead vein that occupies the White House means that Bannon has also lost the support of his army of alt-right trolls, and the race to cut ties with the man once dubbed the most powerful figure in American politcs began in earnest this week.

Yesterday, Bannon was unceremoniously axed from his position as head of far-right media outlet Breitbart News.

“Breitbart News has decided to end its relationship with Stephen K. Bannon, therefore he will no longer host on SiriusXM since our programming agreement is with Breitbart News,” reads a statement posted on the company’s flagship website.

Bannon attemptes to downplay the termination and paint it as a mutual decision, but there’s no denying that it’s a socking fall from grace for a man who was frequently referred to as “President Bannon” just a few short months ago.”

“I’m proud of what the Breitbart team has accomplished in so short a period of time,” Bannon said in response to his dismissal.

The move came as a surprise even to many within Breitbart, who reportedly learned of Bannon’s departure in the company’s Slack chat.

As recently as last month, the company was still publicly praiaing Bannon’s influence on modern conservatism and crediting him with helping to shape the 2016 presidential election via as host of his own satellite radio show.

“As I have said all along, everything I brought to the Trump campaign came directly from the listeners I spoke with every morning on Breitbart News Daily on SiriusXM’s Patriot channel,” Bannon said at the time.

A spokesperson for Breitbart has confirmed that Bannon will no longer serve as host of the outler’s popular call-in show.

No replacement has been announced, but at press time, the racist blowhard who’s always drinking alone at your local dive bar was still available for the position.


Jenelle Evans & David Eason: Did They Spend Christmas Together?

For several weeks now, rumors about Jenelle Evans and David Eason getting divorced have been circulating non-stop on social media.

The couple has no one but themselves to blame for this, as the reports began when David changed his Facebook relationship status to "It's complicated," and then deleted his account entirely.

Jenelle swears all is well, but fans have their doubts.

Now, Mrs. Evans-Eason is taking steps to prove to her haters that she's still very much in love.

1. Christmas Morning With the Easons

Jenelle evans christmas photo
Jenelle Evans celebrated Christmas with her kids, step kids, and husband, David Eason. The couple has been the subject of rampant divorce rumors in recent weeks.

2. David and Kaiser

David and kaiser
Jenelle’s embattled husband seemed to be in the holiday spirit. Photos posted by Jenelle show him playing with Kaiser, her son from a previous relationship.

3. Jace Scores Big

Jace scores big
Even Jenelle’s oldest son Jace was on hand for what looked to be a very merry Christmas. Jenelle’s mother, Barbara Evans, still has primary custody of the boy.

4. What’s Really Going On Here?

Dave and jenelle eason
Jenelle’s sunny depiction of her holiday is being seriously side-eyed by many of her followers. The Christmas Day photos come on the heels of what was reportedly the most difficult rough patch she and David have encountered in their tumultuous marriage.

5. Jenelle and David On the Rocks

Jenelle evans boyfriend david eason
Rumors that Jenelle and David were on the verge of calling it quits began when he indicated as much with his Facebook activity. Fans pounced, and Jenelle quickly went into damage control mode.

6. The Cause Of It All

Jenelle evans with andrew lewis
The drama reportedly began when MTV aired a special about Jenelle’s exes. David was reportedly upset by the affectionate way in which his wife described some of her past relationships.

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Kylie Jenner & Travis Scott: Fighting Over Where to Spend Christmas!

After hearing that Travis Scott can’t deal with Kylie Jenner’s pregnancy hormones and has even turned to Kanye for advice on how to deal with Kylie, it’s not a huge surprise to hear that the expecting couple is fighting.

Especially since they apparently can’t agree on where to spend Christmas (which is in just 10 days). Travis and Kylie haven’t been dating long, so this is in fact their first Christmas while also being their last before the baby’s born.

Will this pair of expecting parents split before they even name their daughter?

Kylie Jenner is pregnant with Travis Scott’s baby, and the news has turned Kylie’s life upside down.

She’s a 20-year-old hottie who’s accustomed to looking a certain way.

Now, she’s apparently so insecure about her radically transformed pregnant body that Kylie just plans to hide out for a while — possibly until the baby’s born.

And perhaps even for a while after.

(Kylie totally deserves a break, since she’s spent a decade as one of the most famous humans on the planet, but it’s sad to hear that she’s doing this because of body image issues)

Kylie’s still been surrounded by her family and her closest, most trusted friends. Anyone else, and she might worry about someone betraying her by snapping photos of her baby bump.

One person who hasn’t been spending as much time with her lately has been Travis Scott. He’s still touring. One imagines that he planned these concerts earlier this year and had zero plans to impregnate his then 19-year-old girlfriend. He might have not even been seeing Kylie yet.

As we mentioned when we discussed Kylie Jenner’s reported misgivings about the pregnancy, Travis Scott is probably going to stay busy with performances, off-and-on, right up until the due date.

While it’s nice for Travis to plan on spending time with his newborn, Kylie wants to see him here and now.

Being there for your child should always be your first priority, but you should also be there for your girlfriend.

HollywoodLife reports that Christmas threatens to tear the couple apart.

According to their source close to the couple:

“The one thing they’re having a little friction over right now is where to spend Christmas day.”

That’s a big decision for any serious couple.

“He wants to be in Houston with his family and he wants her to come with him.”

Travis has reportedly offered to fly Kylie to Houston on a private jet (which is nice, though seriously how else would she get there?)

If Kylie and Travis remain a couple in the long term, they could set up plans to alternate between their respective families on holidays. But this is their first Christmas.

Kylie, whose feelings are doubtless amplified by pregnancy hormones, is broken up about it.

“She’s trying to keep her cool about it, but she will be hurt if he doesn’t spend Christmas with her and the family.”

Kylie lives very, very close to many of her relatives. She’s probably needing to feel near them even more than usual right now.

And Kylie doesn’t want to do Christmas separately.

“They’re not going to have New Year’s together because he has a show in Miami.”

It sounds like she’s accepted that he won’t be with her to ring in 2018, at least.

“So, she’s hoping that she’ll get to have him with her for Christmas.”

It makes sense. Honestly, beyond emotional neediness and craving the familiar, she may just be nervous about traveling and being away from her family at this stage of her pregnancy.

“She feels like it’s only fair.”

Of course, while we don’t have the same inside scoop on Travis’ thoughts, we can imagine how he sees this.

He’s already spending time away from his whole family. Some while touring, some while spending time with Kylie.

Sure, Travis and Kylie went to Houston and we’re sure that they visited Travis’ family then, but we don’t imagine that he sees his family as regularly as Kylie sees hers.

And once their baby’s born, he’ll be spending even less time outside of Calabasas. He might see this as a great time to spend some quality time with his family before the overwhelming duties of being a new parent begin.

That’s a fair point, too.


Javi Marroquin & Briana DeJesus: Did They Spend Thanksgiving Together?

The reports that Javi Marroquin and Briana DeJesus are dating have been circulating for several weeks now, and the rumored couple isn’t doing much to clear things up.

Last month, Javi said he and Briana are dating, but she refuted that statement in an interview just a few days later.

Shortly thereafter, however, Briana tweeted about wanting to marry Javi, though that comment may have been made in jest.

These two are sending so many mixed signals that our clearest indications of what’s going on between them might come from Javi’s ex-wife, Kailyn Lowry.

Kailyn has expressed her belief that Briana is only dating Javi as a form of revenge, so … we guess that’s evidence that they are romantically involved?

We’re not sure anyone knows what’s going on here, and that includes Javi and Briana.

But one thing is certain–they’re spending a lot of time together while they figure out if they want to be more than “friends with benefits.”

Yesterday, Javi posted the following photo on Instagram:

“No plans are the best plans. Had a good time with you #makingmemories,” he captioned the pic.

Dog filters? Cheesy hashtags? Hanging out without plans?

These two might be hesitant to make it label themselves, but we’re gonna go ahead and make it official on their behalf–Javi and Briana are dating.

Obviously, the apparent seriousness of their relationship has raised a lot of questions:

Have they met each other’s kids? Will we be seeing them all coupled-up on the next season of Teen Mom 2?

And, of course, this time of year, one can’t look at Javi and Briana’s Instagram-documented without wondering if they’re Javiana will be spending the holidays together.

The fact that the selfie above (which has racked up a whopping 75,000 likes in less than 24 hours) was posted over Thanksgiving weekend was not lost on Javi’s followers.

Did they spend the holiday together or just the latter part of the weekend?

Did Briana travel to Delaware to see Javi, or did he hop a plane to Orlando to spend time with her?

Their Instagram pages offer no indication, but based on some recent tweets from Javi, it seems he caught a plane somehwere late last week.

He hasn’t confirmed it on social media, but our guess would be he flew to Florida and spent the entire long weekend–including Thanksgiving Day–with Briana and her family.

If that’s the case, then it’s pretty clear these two are well beyond the “just hooking up” stage.

Of course, Javi’s not the only one moving on, as Kailyn is dating Dominique Potter these days, and the relationship appears to be getting serious.

But that doesn’t mean, of course, that Lowry is happy for her ex.

In fact, we’re guessing she’d prefer to see him posting cozy, couple-y dog filter-photos with just about anyone except Briana.

Watch Teen Mom 2 online for more from Javi’s rollercoaster love life.


Johnny Depp: Did His Sister Spend All His Money?!

Over the recent holiday weekend, you may have seen the occasional headline about Pirates of the Caribbean 5 making a “boatload of cash” or finding “box office gold.”

Truth be told, the movie did better than expected overseas, but actually underperformed in America.

Granted, that distinction doesn’t matter much in our modern media landscape, especially as Russia moves more plastic soldiers into Washington as part of the batsh-t game of Risk that is life in 2017.

Anyway, the upshot is that the latest entry made enough money to ensure that Pirates 6: Yes, Seriously will hit theaters sometime around 2016.

It’s great news for the franchise’s anchor, Johnny Depp, who’s been struggling with some financial issues lately.

And by that we mean you may soon find him standing near a burning trash can, passing a pint of MD 20/20 back and forth with his fellow bedraggled scarf enthusiasts.

Obviously, we kid, and Johnny is actually doing fine in the money department by regular folk standards.

The recent reports of Depp being on the verge of bankruptcy are not exaggerated (in fact, they’ve been confirmed by various court documents), but he’s only in danger of going Hollywood broke, not actual broke.

Sell a couple islands, churn out some Nic Cage-quality direct-to-DVD garbage, and Depp will be fine,

Still the question remains of what the hell happened to all his money, and on that score, there are two conflicting stories.

Currently, Depp is suing his management team, claiming that TMG mishandled his funds and failed to warn him that he was living beyond his means.

The firm is countersuing with a claim that Depp ignored repeated warnings that his extravagant lifestyle (which included a $ 30,000 a month wine budget) would drive him to the brink of financial ruin.

Now, new revelations made by a former TMG employee and published by The Hollywood Reporter could shed new light on how Captain Jack’s treasure chest wound up so bare.

The employee claims that Depp’s Christi Dembrowski was permitted to spend her brother’s money at will, and TMG was afraid to stop her due to her infamous temper.

The employee has even provided an internal memo in which Dembrowski is described as a “nasty bitch.”

The revelation could benefit either side, as it confirms both that TMG didn’t do everything it could to protect Depp’s assets, but also that Depp and his family spent recklessly and frivolously.

For much of this court battle, it’s seemed as though the scales were tipping ever so slightly in TMG’s corner.

But earlier today, Team Depp fired back with some incendiary accusations that could tilt the case in the actor’s favor.

For starters, Depp’s lawyers claim the firm used his assets to secure $ 40 million in loans without his knowledge.

Additionally, the actor claims TMG execs were negligent with his funds, citing as an example a case in which they forgot to cancel the lease on a hospice house for his late mother, costing Depp $ 350,000.

So what’s the takeaway from all of this?

Mainly that Depp swaggering around with a parrot on his shoulder will be the last sight you see before the sun expands and engulfs the Earth, bringing an end to human existence as we know it.