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Johnny Depp: Did His Sister Spend All His Money?!

Over the recent holiday weekend, you may have seen the occasional headline about Pirates of the Caribbean 5 making a “boatload of cash” or finding “box office gold.”

Truth be told, the movie did better than expected overseas, but actually underperformed in America.

Granted, that distinction doesn’t matter much in our modern media landscape, especially as Russia moves more plastic soldiers into Washington as part of the batsh-t game of Risk that is life in 2017.

Anyway, the upshot is that the latest entry made enough money to ensure that Pirates 6: Yes, Seriously will hit theaters sometime around 2016.

It’s great news for the franchise’s anchor, Johnny Depp, who’s been struggling with some financial issues lately.

And by that we mean you may soon find him standing near a burning trash can, passing a pint of MD 20/20 back and forth with his fellow bedraggled scarf enthusiasts.

Obviously, we kid, and Johnny is actually doing fine in the money department by regular folk standards.

The recent reports of Depp being on the verge of bankruptcy are not exaggerated (in fact, they’ve been confirmed by various court documents), but he’s only in danger of going Hollywood broke, not actual broke.

Sell a couple islands, churn out some Nic Cage-quality direct-to-DVD garbage, and Depp will be fine,

Still the question remains of what the hell happened to all his money, and on that score, there are two conflicting stories.

Currently, Depp is suing his management team, claiming that TMG mishandled his funds and failed to warn him that he was living beyond his means.

The firm is countersuing with a claim that Depp ignored repeated warnings that his extravagant lifestyle (which included a $ 30,000 a month wine budget) would drive him to the brink of financial ruin.

Now, new revelations made by a former TMG employee and published by The Hollywood Reporter could shed new light on how Captain Jack’s treasure chest wound up so bare.

The employee claims that Depp’s Christi Dembrowski was permitted to spend her brother’s money at will, and TMG was afraid to stop her due to her infamous temper.

The employee has even provided an internal memo in which Dembrowski is described as a “nasty bitch.”

The revelation could benefit either side, as it confirms both that TMG didn’t do everything it could to protect Depp’s assets, but also that Depp and his family spent recklessly and frivolously.

For much of this court battle, it’s seemed as though the scales were tipping ever so slightly in TMG’s corner.

But earlier today, Team Depp fired back with some incendiary accusations that could tilt the case in the actor’s favor.

For starters, Depp’s lawyers claim the firm used his assets to secure $ 40 million in loans without his knowledge.

Additionally, the actor claims TMG execs were negligent with his funds, citing as an example a case in which they forgot to cancel the lease on a hospice house for his late mother, costing Depp $ 350,000.

So what’s the takeaway from all of this?

Mainly that Depp swaggering around with a parrot on his shoulder will be the last sight you see before the sun expands and engulfs the Earth, bringing an end to human existence as we know it.

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Rob Kardashian: See? I DO Spend Time With My Daughter!

When we first learned that Blac Chyna was pregnant with Rob Kardashian’s baby, a lot of folks took to social media to express some very obvious concerns.

Chief among them was the fact that Rob and Blac were a terribly mismatched, ill-fated couple, and they’d only been together a few months when she got pregnant.

But beyond that, were fears about Rob’s ability to raise a child.

After all, this was a man who’d spent the previous several years self-destructing in alarming fashion.

When he met Chyna, Rob was diabetic, obese, semi-reclusive, and coping with a number of severe emotional issues with compulsive overeating and substance abuse.

None of this is to shame Rob, as millions of Americans struggle with one or more of these issues, but it’s not hard to see why so many were concerned by the prospect of Rob becoming a father.

These days, as little Dream Kardashian approaches the 5-month mark, some fan predictions have come true (Rob and Blac are broken up, seemingly for good this time.), while others have thankfully been proven wrong.

By most accounts, Rob is a capable and devoted father, and he enjoys posting photos of his beloved baby girl.

Rob posted the image above on Instagram yesterday, in order to celebrate the LA Dodgers’ Opening Day.

“My dodger baby,” Rob wrote in the caption.

It’s a cute pic made all the more adorable by the fact the Dodger hat is Rob’s signature accessory.

The image comes on the heels of Rob opening up about his hopes for Dream on Sunday’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

“I want our baby to learn the type of Armenian values that dad always put onto us growing up,” Rob told Khloe at one point.

Unfortunately, the episode also featured a scene in which Kris Jenner and company encouraged Rob to take better care of himself so that he can “be around for Dream” in the future.

It didn’t go well:

“When my mom and my sisters gang up on me, it doesn’t really motivate me. It pushes me away,” Rob told the camera.

So yeah, Rob is not without his problems, but he does seem to be trying, which is more than we could say about him two years ago.

Sometimes kids help their more than parents help their kids.

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Donald Trump Insists He’ll Spend ‘Zero Time’ Producing ‘Apprentice’ (VIDEO)

Donald Trump is trying to shut down all the buzz about him being an executive producer of “Celebrity Apprentice” while he’s in the White House. The Prez elect said, “I have NOTHING to do with The Apprentice except for fact that I conceived it with…

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Prince Harry Takes 1,700 Mile Flight to Spend One Night With Meghan Markle

You may have been in a relationship that got serious right off the bat.

You might have stayed up all night texting after two dates, or maybe even moved in with someone you’ve only been seeing for a few weeks.

But have you ever flown nearly 2,000 miles to spend one night with someone you’ve only known for a matter of months?

Probably not, but if you have – can we be friends?

Like, you sound a little too intense to date, but you also sound like you have a lot of money that you like to throw around frivolously, which is a quality we look for in our friends.

Anyway, what does all of this have to do with – anything?

We’re gonna assume you asked that question, and we’re glad you did!

As you may have heard, Prince Harry is dating Meghan Markle, an actress on the show Suits, which as far as we can tell, is a series that’s based on that episode of Seinfeld where Kenny Bania gives Jerry a bunch of clothes from Armani in exchange for a meal, but then he only orders soup and it turns into a whole thing.

Meghan and Harry successfully kept their relationship on the down-low for a few weeks, but it seems it didn’t take them long to decide that they’re serious enough to go public.

As far was we can tell they met in September, but from the way they’re rushing in, you’d think that one of they’d been together much longer.

(Or that one of them is royalty and the other stars in a show that’s survived for six seasons despite only ever being watched by your mother-in-law.)

First, Harry issued a statement about his relationship with Markle.

Shortly thereafter, we learned that Meghan is staying at Kensington Palace when she’s not busy with work.

Now, it seems that when she is busy with work, Harry goes to insane lengths to spend even short amounts of time with Meghan.

According to UK tabloid The Sun, Harry was recently on a tour of the Caribbean, and instead of returning home when scheduled, he decided to make a detour to Canada, where Meghan is currently filming.

The trip took Harry 1,700 miles out of his way, and sources claim the royal and his new lady spent just one night together before he had to return to London.

“He was due to fly back to London with the rest of his entourage but he changed his mind because they couldn’t bear to be apart,” says an insider.

“It’s a very short stopover as he has a charity appearance in London tomorrow. It’s just another sign of how head-over-heels he is.

Hopefully, while he was there, he didn’t take notice of the fact that “filming” for Suits consists of Meghan and her co-stars putting on a play behind a cardboard cutout of a TV. 

That would be embarrassing.

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