Meghan Markle is soon to be a member of the royal family.
And that means she’ll soon be subjected to a level of scrutiny that’s unfathomable to Americans who aren’t among the one percent of A-list celebrities.
We’ve known for quite some time that a Markle tell-all by famed royal biographer Andrew Morton is on the way, but early press about the book suggested it would contain very few salacious tidbits.
For the most part, Morton is respectful toward his royal subjects, and as a result, he’s been granted unprecedented access to the inner-workings of Buckingham Palace.
But he also has to sell books to a reading public with the attention span of a small rodent on bath salts.
Thus, he’s expected to deliver a handful of lightly scandalous insights into life behind palace walls, and based on newly-released excerpts, Meghan: A Hollywood Princess doesn’t disappoint.
It seems The Sun has been publishing tidbits all week, and they started things off on an endearing note with a portion about Meghan’s long-standing love for Princess Diana:
“According to family friends, she was intrigued by Diana, not just for her style, but for her independent humanitarian mission, seeing her as a role model,” Morton writes.
One associate of Markle’s is quoted as saying the actress “wants to be Princess Diana 2.0.”
A little weird for Harry, but we’re sure the Brits ate it up.
Naturally, Morton can’t ignore the elephant in the room regarding Meghan’s past.
We’re talking of course about the fact that Markle is divorced, which is apparently something that elderly Britons are having a hard time getting over.
One insider claims that Meghan dumped her first husband, Trevor Engelson, in brutal fashion:
“A wealthy entrepreneur friend claimed the marriage ended so abruptly that Meghan sent Trevor her diamond wedding and engagement rings back by registered mail,” Morton writes.
“Another (friend) confirmed that the decision to end the marriage was made by Meghan and had come ‘totally out of the blue.’”
Aside from the inevitable details about Meghan’s sketchy sister, that might be as scandalous a passage as you’ll find in Hollywood Princess.
Of course, the detail that’s sure to win Meghan the most fans on this side of the pond comes to us courtesy of Markle’s days as a “briefcase girl” on the early 2000s game show Deal or No Deal.
Aside from Howie Mandel’s OCD, the stars of the show were a bunch of twenty-something models, so naturally, Donald Trump paid an unannounced visit to the set one day.
And it seems Meg wanted nothing to do with Ol’ Yellow Eyes:
“Fellow briefcase girl Tameka Jacobs told me, ‘He was super-creepy, but some girls were attracted to money and power and took his number,” Morton claims.
“Meghan was one of the girls who gave him a wide berth.”
Morton goes on to say that despite rumors to the contrary it seems unlikely that any Trumps will be invited to the royal wedding.
We’re sure that snub will go over well.
In other words, get ready for nuclear war with the UK, folks!
Should be a doozy.