Kate Upton Swept Off Rock During Topless Photoshoot!

Kate Upton may be incredibly gorgeous and successful, but that doesn't mean that her life is perfect.

And just because she's a professional doesn't mean that photoshoots can't go wrong.

In the video that you're about to see, Kate Upton's topless photoshoot goes awry when a powerful wave knocks her from the jagged rock and into the water.

Kate upton disaster 01

Just weeks ago, Kate Upton accused a Guess co-founder of sexual harassment. As we learned the harrowing details of Kate Upton's accusations against Paul Marciano, were were horrified by the groping, the culture of fear, and the retaliation that she described.

Thankfully, though this video has its scary moments, it's much more lighthearted.

It's also wonderful that Upton's terrible experiences did not prevent her from pursuing her modeling career.

The NSFW video that you'll see below was shared by Sports Illustrated. Their caption reads:

"Whoops! Things got a little rocky on @kateupton's #SISwim 2018 shoot in Aruba!"

That is a tremendous understatement, made mostly for the sake of the pun. Because, you see, it all starts with Kate Upton standing on a rock.

Kate upton disaster 02

At first, everything is going well.

Kate Upton is wearing … almost nothing.

Standing on a rock on the Aruba shoreline, she's clad in a skin-tone bikini bottom and a whole lot of light cloth attached to the back of it to make the outfit artsier than your average topless bikini pic.

(The effect is kind of … of a peacock with its tail down)

She's covering her nipples with her hands and poised dramatically while the photographers take in her beauty.

Kate upton disaster 03

As a larger wave comes from behind, a man comes up to offer her his hand to steady her so that she does not fall.

Keep in mind that Kate Upton can't exactly turn around and check her own surroundings. A giant Syfy Original movie sea monster could be emerging from the ocean water behind her and she'd be totally reliant upon the crew to let her know before the teeth-and-or-tentacles got her.

In this case, it's just a wave, but a powerful one.

It seems to hit the rock at just the right angle to knock her off of her feet.

The man who offered her his hand isn't able to prevent her from falling, but he does at least slow her descent.

Kate upton disaster 04

In fact, some fans noted that if the man had not offered his hand, she could have fallen differently, perhaps striking her face or head on the rock.

You don't ever want to fall off of a jagged rock into the ocean, but at least Kate Upton appears to mostly just fall into the water.

Another crew member dives in to make sure that she's okay.

But she's okay, and the video also shows her narrate the events after the fact.

She even seems to laugh it off. It's good to have a sense of humor about these things.

Kate upton disaster 05

Kate says:

"I saw the next wave coming and it didn’t look that large from my point of view, but it must have hit the rock just right and caught on."

She explains why, despite the man's help, she fell.

"The skirt whenever it’s wet with all the tools is very heavy and it dragged me down. Everybody was scared."

Have a look at this (NSFW) video for yourself:

Kate upton swept off rock during topless photoshoot

Kim Zolciak: Topless on Instagram! Again!

Say what you will about Kim Zolciak, the woman knows how to hold her fans’ attention.

When Kim’s not feuding with Nene Leakes, she delivers the other sort of content that’s proven time and again to be social media gold.

We’re talking, of course, about nudity.

Sure, nude photos of Kim Zolciak are nothing new, but as long as they continue to get a response from her social media followers, you can be sure Kim will continue to post them.

Kim knows what her people want, and she gives it to them readily.

Don’t get us wrong – the woman has made some serious missteps over the years.

(It’ll be a while before we’re able to forget about Kim posing nude with her daughters.)

But for the most part, she sticks with the formula that’s proven so successful over the years.

It’s a combination of lifestyle porn and actual porn, and the Zolciak faithful eat it up every time.

Sure there are some haters in every bunch, and as always, more than a few followers reminded Kim that she’s a mom, or asked some variation of “where’s ur top?” but as usual, the response was overwhelmingly positive.

In fact, even though she’s clearly on vacation with her husband, Kroy Biermann, Kim returned to the ‘Gram to fill fans in on exactly what she’s up to these days:

“This is our last little hoorah before season 7 starts of Don’t Be Tardy,” she told her loyal followers.

“A quick vacay…refresher if you will…before the hustle and bustle baby.”

She added:

“It’s literally just us. There’s not a soul in sight baby. It’s just sooo romantic and beautiful… The things I would do for you.”

So, yes, it seems that yet another season of Don’t Be Tardy is coming your way.

In other news, Don’t Be Tardy somehow hasn’t been canceled yet!

So it seems that even though Kim has been booted from the main cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, she remains 100 percent on her grind.

Even when she’s on vacation, she’s still all about those likes and shares.


Kim Kardashian Topless Pic Ignites Controversy (Also, Probably, Boners)

At this point, we’ve probably seen Kim Kardashian topless a couple hundred times.

Maybe a couple thousand?

It’s hard to estimate, when you consider the screen shots from her sex tape alone and then cycle through her Playboy and Paper spreads and then consider her Instagram account, like, everday.

But we’ve never seen Kim Kardashian topless quite like this before.

The reality star and mother of three shared yet another photo on social media this morning of herself without a shirt on, yet this one is different.

For one thing, she’s facing away from the camera… which sucks.

For another thing, a professional photographer did not snap this image. Nor did Kim herself.

Instead, the person behind the camera was… four-year old daughter North?

Yes, according to Kardashian herself in the caption below:

kim, no shirt

As you might expect, many social media users had A LOT to say about this snapshot.

And not much of it was positive.

“So now your daughter is taking the provocative photos for you to post?” one user wrote, while another chimed in as follows:

“Why Kim?? Seriously you are her role model. There’s so much good and beautiful about you and your family. Why cheapen it? You don’t need to.”

We understand these opinions. We really do.

But we also don’t know the context of the picture.

Most kids just love to snap pictures. Perhaps Kim and North were just goofing around.

We doubt Kim told her toddler to take a picture of her half-naked and then explained that it would instantly go up on her Instagram page.

And, let’s be honest, North probably sees her mom without a shirt on all the time. This isn’t exactly a big deal to her.

But critics weren’t buying any of this logic.

“I can’t imagine asking my daughter to take a provocative photo of me,” wrote someone else in response, adding:

“This is pretty distasteful seeing as a child took it.”

Kim certainly has been in a weird mood ever since becoming a mother for the third time.

How so? Well…

FIRST, she named this new child Chicago West.

THEN, she attacked Lamar Odom.

THEN, she went after Lindsay Lohan.

THEN, she put her hair back into blonde braids.

And she keeps posing mostly nude. Like, very often.

As we’ve mentioned before, Kim now has three little kids at home and may just be very bored.

So, in the case of her latest image, at least she managed to kill two birds with one stone: She found something for both her and North to do!


Kim Kardshian Posts Topless Pic, Compares Herself to Anna Nicole Smith

Earlier this month, Kim Kardashian welcomed her third child.

You’d think someone with Kim’s wealth and influence could enjoy a few weeks off to focus on her new baby, but no!

Possibly in a bid to cement her status as the living embodiment of American values, Kim is demonstrating that she doesn’t believe in maternity leave!

Yes, that’s Kim totally topless on Instagram.

It might not be your idea of work, but when you’re a Kardashian this is what punching a clock looks like.

As usual, Kim is being shamed for posing nude by people who would apparently balk at showing of their flawless physiques in exchange for fame and fortune.

“Your a work of art but you should probably put on some clothes,” wrote one conflicted and gramatically-challenged fan.

“After 3 kids you would think she would stop posting photos like this,” commented one of the internet’s many rabid mom-shamers.

It’s the same nonsense every time Kim blesses us with a pic like this.

Fortunately, it doesn’t like she’ll be easing up on the racy selfies anytime soon.

This time, the haters even stepped their game up a notch and engaging in the truly repugnant behavior of chastising Kim for using a surrogate.

“Now I know the real reason why you hired someone to have your baby,” wrote one follower who’s clearly just the worst.

We’re not even sure what that’s supposed to mean, but we’re 100 percent sure the person who wrote it has no friends.

Anyway, this is one of the rare occasions where we actually agree with Kim’s critics on one thing.

But it has nothing to do with her appearance.

Anna Nicole Smith

Kim posted this photo today with caption reading simply, “Muse.”

For our younger readers, that’s Anna Nicole Smith, a deceased model who’s as well know for her tragic life and death as for her meteoric rise to stardom.

Unlike some of the commenters on the pic, we’re not gonna shame a dead woman who struggled mightily throughout her life, but we are somewhat side-eyeing Kim’s choice of muse.

It’s one thing when a sullen teen idolizes a self-destructive blonde who checked out early, but it’s a little weird coming from a 36-year-old mom and successful career woman like Kim.

Our culture is just now realizing it’s pretty messed up to romanticize the premature death of Marilyn Monroe; let’s not subject Anna to the same mistreatment, mmm-kay?