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Madonna Tries, Mostly Fails to Defend Aretha Franklin Tribute at the VMAs

The Material Girl went ahead on Monday night and earned herself a new nickname:

The Narcissistic, Disrespectful, Rambling Woman Who Managed to Screw Up a Tribute to Arguably the Greatest Singer of All-Time.

It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it does sum up what transpired yesterday evening at the 2018 MTV Video Music Awards.

Prior to presenting the award for Video of the Year (which went to Camila Cabello), the 60-year old singer was asked to talk about Aretha Franklin, who died last Thursday at the age of 73.

But instead of saying nice things about this iconic artist, Madonna told a rambling story about, well… herself.

You see, a long time ago, Madonna was struggling to make it as a dancer, so she went to a musical theater audition with a group of French producers.

“Why not?” she thought at the time, telling this long story on stage in front of a consued crowd and adding:

“The worst that can happen is I can go back to getting robbed, held at gunpoint, and being mistaken for a prostitute in my third-floor walk-up that was also a crack house.”

Okay, sure. Yeah. Tell us more, Madge…

It turned out that Madonna nailed the dance portion of the audition yet she panicked when those in charge asked her to produce sheet music and sing.

She wasn’t prepared for such a request!

“I had to think fast. My next meal was on the line,” she said, finally bringing this winding tale back to the late subject at suppose hand:

“Fortunately, one of my favorite albums was Lady Soul by Aretha Franklin. I blurted out, ‘You Make Me Feel!’ Silent. ‘You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman!’”

So… Madonna sang this famous song, the producers loved it, but she actually didn’t get the gig.

She did get a job in Paris as a result of the audition, though, and… SIGH.

You really need to just watch clips from this convoluted, self-serving speech below:

How did an Aretha Franklin tribute end up being a story all about Madonna’s early years as an entertainer?

Simple, Madonna explained in a follow-up Instagram post: This was never supposed to be a tribute!

“I was asked to present video of the year by MTV! And then they asked me to share any anecdotes I had in my career connected to Aretha Franklin!” wrote Madonna as a caption to a photo (below) of her and Cabello.

Continued Madonna in her own defense:

“I shared a part of my journey and thanked Aretha for inspiring me along the way. I did not intend to do a tribute to her!

“That would be impossible in 2 minutes with all the noise and tinsel of an award show. I could never do her justice in this context or environment.”

madonna on insta

Madonna did conclude her speech at the VMAs by stating:

None of this would have happened, could have happened without our Lady of Soul. She led me to where I am today.

And I know she influenced so many people in this house tonight. I want to thank you, Aretha, for empowering all of us. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Not very apologetic in her Instagram post, Madonna slammed her critics and reiterated her affection for Franklin, closing her statement as follows:

“Unfortunately most people have short attention spans, and are so quick to judge. I love Aretha! R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

“I Love Camilla! Congrats! I LOVE my dress! AND. I love-L O V E!! and there is nothing anyone can say or do that will change that.”

Well… okay then!

We guess that settles that.

Madonna loves Aretha. And Cabello. And her own fashion taste. And love in general.

And, let’s not forget what Madonna also loves most of all, even in the wake of maybe the most influential artist in history passing away.

HERSELF.

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Kris Jenner Tries to Feed Khloe Dozens of Donuts

In a scene that will air this Sunday on Keeping Up with the Kardashians – one that was totally not scripted and definitely not sponsored by Krispy Kreme – Kris Jenner shows up at her daughter's house with eight dozen donuts.

For what reason?

Why is this "psychopath" up to?

Khloe, who is pretty far along in her pregnancy in the sneak peek, isn't so sure herself.

“Are you … okay?” she asks her very excited mother.

Jenner explains that she was inspired to stop by because it was in the script and the aforementioned famous donut chain paid her family money for her to do so she thought back to her cravings back when she was pregnant.

“I remember back when my mom was pregnant, she and Bruce almost got a divorce because Bruce would not pull over to get her two dozen doughnuts,” says Kardashian, adding in the video featured here:

“He was like, ‘You don’t need them Kris.’ And they were screaming at each other.

"He finally got her these stupid doughnuts and when I tell you she ate ever f-ckin doughnut, she ate ever f-ckin doughnut.”

But Khloe?

That's not who she is, the star explains. She actually finds this sort of binge eating, even when expecting, to be "disgusting."

So she passes on the pastries, even as Kris tries to basically shove them down her throat.

“I just want you to feel good about yourself and be able to let your hair down a little bit and say, ‘I’m gonna have a bowl of pasta or I’m gonna eat lasagna tonight,'” says Jenner.

“I’m not doing anything that’s unhealthy,” Kardashian replies.

No, except for pretend to feud with one's own loved ones for the sake of ratings, that is.

Will Khloe and Kim gang up on Kourtney again this Sunday night, as they've been doing for the past two weeks?

Tune in to find out and then go watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians online if you need to catch up on all this pretend drama.

Kris jenner tries to feed khloe kardashian dozens of donuts
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Donald Trump Tries to Dunk on LeBron James, Calls Him Stupid

Donald Trump is too short, too out of shape and possesses hands that are way to small to dunk a basketball.

But the President of the United States nevertheless took some time out of his late Friday night to try and slam one home on…

… LeBron James?

Yes.

The very stable genius, who thinks one needs an ID to purchase groceries, jumped on Twitter around midnight and Tweeted the following about the new Los Angeles Lakers star:

Lebron James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made Lebron look smart, which isn’t easy to do.

I like Mike!

There are many things to point out about this Tweet.

For starters, Lemon interviewed LeBron on Monday night, meaning there are only one of two options here:

  1. Trump used TiVo to record the interview and watched it days later.
  2. Trump was simply watching CNN, the network he often claims “sucks” and is terrible and is full of “fake news,” when it re-aired the Q&A.

Either would be a totally normal thing for the Commander-in-Chief to do, right?

donald tweet

Secondly, LeBron James was interviewed by Lemon (along with other outlets) because he just opened a public school in Akron, Ohio.

To reiterate: James donated millions and millions of dollars to the I Promise school, an institution for at-risk children in his hometown that will offer:

– Free college tuition to the University of Arkon for all graduates.

– All students a free uniform, free bicycle and free helmet.

– Job assistance and GED training for the parents of all students.

– A food pantry for families.

– Free breakfast, lunch and snacks for all students.

One could easily argue this is the most generous and impressive off-court gesture ever made by a professiona athlete.

And THIS is the individual that President Trump has chosen to insult as unintelligent.

We wonder why.

Yes, James has referred to Trump as a “bum” on Twitter in the past and he also said in June that whichever team won the NBA title would turn down an invitation to visit the White House.

But head NBA coaches Steve Kerr and Greg Popovich has been far more critical of Trump.

The latter said in March that Trump is a liar and a hypocrite and that he brings out the “dark side of human beings for his own purpose.”

Yet Trump has never uttered a negative word about Kerr or Popovich. We really do wonder why.

What makes LeBron different from these two other men in his profession. Can anyone out there help explain it to us?

In his CNN interview, James discussed the impact of sports and how it brings people together, contrasting this experience with the way Trump uses “sports to kinda divide us.”

A great example of this would be Trump’s constant bashing of NFL players for being unpatrotic because they are protesting violence against African-Americans by taking a knee during the national anthem.

“Sports has never been something that divides people,” James told Lemon. “It’s always been something that brings someone together.”

A few months ago, LeBron expounded further on Trump’s self-centered and misguided attitude toward… everything and everyone.

“He doesn’t understand the power that he has for being the leader of this beautiful country,” James said. “He doesn’t understand how many kids, no matter the race, look up to the president of the United States for guidance, for leadership, for words of encouragement.

“He doesn’t understand that, and that’s what makes me more sick than anything, that we have someone that’s … this is the most, this is the No. 1 position in the world.”

In his viral Tweet above, Trump said he likes Mike, very likely making a reference to Michael Jordan in the debate for who is the best basketball player of all-time.

The world now waits to see if Jordan will chime in with his opinion of the President.

It also now waits to see if Trump will get impeached for being a traitor.

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Tristan Thompson Tries Too Hard to Be Sweet to Khloe, Gets ROASTED by Her Fans!

Khloe Kardashian’s fans may know that Tristan Thompson is just too dumb to be faithful, but that doesn’t mean that they’re willing to accept it.

Tristan took to Instagram to ask his baby mama what nice romantic spot the two should visit.

Commenters could not resist roasting him and the results are … hilarious.

On Instagram, Khloe shared a photo of a pink beach and wrote: “Take me please” in her captions.

Tristan decided to leave a publicly visible comment.

Perhaps he wasn’t thinking, perhaps he was feeling romantic, or perhaps Tristan’s still trying to rebuild his image with Khloe’s fans.

Whatever his reason, Tristan wrote: “Where do you wanna go my love?”

Almost immediately, his words racked up hundreds upon hundreds of replies from Khloe’s fans who had some suggestions for him.

According to TooFab, Tristan’s comment has over 1,800 replies, and some of these are pure gold.

“Somewhere where she can be loved and respected by a real man,” one suggested.

Possibly the best comment of the bunch was: “Which love are you talking about, you gotta be more specific.”

Another fan suggested that Tristan should take Khloe “to before 2016 before Tristan was her bae.”

“To a marriage counselor,” one commenter suggested, though of course Khloe and Tristan are not married.

Another chimed in with “Couple’s therapy.”

Tristan was advised to take Khloe “somewhere where you don’t take her granted.”

“You need to go to church,” another wrote.

(In general, we don’t recommend pushing people to change their personal religious habits, even as a joke)

Another commenter suggested that Tristan could dazzle Khloe with the tourist attractions on “Faithful island.”

Yet another said that Khloe would be happier “probably away from him.”

Ouch.

“You better take her ANYWHERE she wanna go bro,” another commenter.

That one seemed almost on Tristan’s side, suggesting that he owes Khloe and needs to act like it if he wants to keep this relationship going.

Another, poking fun at the names of many Caribbean island, suggested a trip to “St. Loyalty.”

Fun fact: Catholicism has a number of saints who are considered to be patron saints of “difficult marriages.” If Tristan and Khloe were married, that would be fodder for some obscure burns.

A comment suggested that Tristan should take Khloe “far far away from you.”

That would be sending, not taking.

“Where the faithful men at,” another wrote.

Interestingly, Khloe’s own sister, Kourtney, had a reply to Tristan’s comment.

Kourtney simply wrote: “good one.”

Unless Kourt was suggesting that Tristan himself is a good one, which would be kind of funny, it sounds like she was being a little shady.

Kourtney may have been chiming in about another comment — applauding the roasting that Tristan was receiving.

Or Kourtney may have been simply laughing at the notion that Tristan would take Khloe on vacation, treating his comment itself as a joke.

Khloe seems to be Tristan’s only fan these days.

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