Man Trips On LSD, Saves Dog From Imaginary House Fire, Gets Arrested

We can say this about Michael Orchard:

His heart was in the right place last week.

But his mind? Well… we’re not entirely sure where his mind was.

A resident of a town called Halfmoon, which is located near Albany, Orchard took what he believed to be heroic action last Thursday after his neighbor’s home caught fire.

Afraid that his neighbor’s dog would perish in the flames, Orchard bravely broke into the residence and pulled the puppy out safely.

Hooray, right? Not exactly.

See, the house was not actually on fire.

Instead, state troopers have confirmed that Orchard was actually tripping on a potent mixture of LSD and cough syrup.

He was hallucinating the blaze next door, with trooper Mark Cepiel telling local network NewsChannel 13:

“He believed that the residence was on fire and he was rescuing the dog.”

Which would be fine and swell and not some horrible crime, except for the following piece of information:

Orchard initially pounded on the doors of other neighbors in a desperate attempt to alert them to the fire that was blazing just a few homes down.

(Which, again, remember, only existed in his drug-riddled mind.)

After he received no answer and/or after the neighbors failed to respond with the proper panic, Orchard allegedly drove his BMW sedan through his neighbor’s fence.

He then broke into the home via the back door to grab the canine.


It was a very nice gesture overall. We can respect the sentiment.

But police clearly had no choice but to arrest Orchard and charge him with third-degree criminal mischief and second-degree burglary.

Cepiel said Orchard won’t face drug charges, however, because he didn’t drive on the road and was not found carrying any illegal substances.

Officers also described Orchard as “very cooperative” following his arrest.

He was arraigned in Halfmoon Court and remanded to Saratoga County Jail on $ 15,000 bail.

The dog, meanwhile, was unharmed. Which would have been true no matter what, of course, because there was never any fire.

But if there had been?!? Orchard was on the case!