Ben Affleck Returns to Rehab Following Visit With Playboy Model Girlfriend

As you’ve likely heard by now, Ben Affleck checked into rehab last month following an intervention from his estranged wife, Jennifer Garner.

What you may not have heard, however, is that the Oscar winner lasted just two weeks in treatment before retreating to the comfort of his Batfleck Cave and his 22-year-old girlfriend.

Yes, Affleck left rehab yesterday and was spotted being driven to his Pacific Palisades home looking disheveled and out of sorts.

Shortly after his arrival, Ben’s rumored girlfriend Shauna Sexton paid him a visit.

At first, there was an outpouring of concern on social media, as it was widely assumed that Ben had decided to bail on his treatment program several weeks ahead of schedule.

Fortunately, several media outlets have reported today that Ben has returned to rehab after spending just a few hours at home.

Reps for the actor claim he made the trip simply so that he could utilize his home gym.

Of course, since Shauna stopped by during Ben’s brief furlough, we’re guessing his workout session wasn’t limited to free weights.

So the good news is, Ben returned to treatment after stopping by the crib to keep his bat-body in fighting form.

The bad news is, those who know him best are deeply concerned about his casual attitude toward recovery and his continued association with Shauna.

“He had stayed in touch with Shauna the entire time he was in rehab and the people at the facility and friends had huge concerns about it because she isn’t sober,” a source tells E! News.

“She is a huge, red flag to everyone that is trying to support Ben with his process. Shauna is giving him false confidence and that is their biggest concern.” 

During Ben’s brief visit home, the insider claimed that Jen was so angry that she considered paying her ex another unannounced visit.

“Jen knows he is back at the house with Shauna and she is so painfully frustrated,” the source stated at the time.

She held off, however, ultimately realizing that Ben must be the author of his own recovery:

“She knows he has to do this for himself,” the informant claims.

While Jen may be taking a more hands-off approach at this point, she’s well aware of just how high the stakes are:

“It has been an intensive challenge but he had no choice,” the source says.

“For Ben this was a life-and-death situation. It was very dire and that is the main reason Jen had no choice but to get involved.” 

Unfortunately, despite realizing the severity of the situation, Affleck has been choosy about what sort of advice he’ll accept from the professionals assisting with his treatment: 

“He believes he is strong enough to venture outside the facility with sober coaches,” says the source.

Here’s hoping Ben is able to accept the help he needs before it’s too late.


Meghan Markle & Prince Harry Plan US Tour: Will They Visit Her Family?

Back in May, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got married, and her family has spent the months since reminding us how awful they are and what a miracle it is that she grew up to be a functional human, much less a duchess.

In case you’ve remained blissfully unaware of the existence of Meg’s father, sister, and brother, believe us when they say they’re the absolute worst.

Here’s a brief recap of the past week in case you’re unwilling to take our word for it.

(You’re so untrusting, hypothetical reader. Gawd!)

First, we learned that Meg’s dad, Thomas Markle enjoys humiliating his daughter in inappropriately personal interviews.

But soon after, we learned Tom Sr. can’t hold a candle to his eldest offspring in the malicious insanity department.

First, the almost impressively-bonkers Samantha Markle tweeted that it will be Meghan’s fault when her father dies.

Next, the equally batsh-t Thomas Markle Jr. theorized that the queen and company are turning Meghan into a royal zombie.

Despite the fact that these people call the US of A their home, Meghan and Harry will soon deign to set foot on the same soil with a tour of America.

Yes, according to US Weekly, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will soon take their first trip to her homeland as a married couple.

“They are so excited to head to the U.S.,” reveals a palace insider.

“Meghan is looking forward to introducing Harry to everything she loves about the U.S.”

As for the itinerary, the source says, “They are thinking New York, Washington, D.C., and California,” adding:

“They’re working to finalize locations and venues.” 

As you may have noticed, there’s no mention of any plans to visit the various monsters of the Markle family.

So what is the goal of the trip (other than providing Harry an opportunity to visit the set of Suits)?

Well, apparently the newlyweds have an ambitious agenda in mind:

“Meghan and Harry want to solidify ties between the U.K. and the U.S.,” continues the source.

“They want to highlight and foster these relationships.”

Um … excuse us, but we think our big apricot baby president can handle foreign relations on his own, thankyouverymuch.

Did you not see him obliviously speed walk in front of the 92-year-old queen like she was a Midtown panhandler?

It was the ultimate cuck-trampling alpha move.

It was a gesture that says to the world, “Look out! I like my steaks well-done and brown children in cages!”

Don John is out here throwing Starbursts at world leaders like they’re frightened children on Halloween and he’s the boogeyman of the planet.

In conclusion, please save us, Harry and Meghan.

We’re not all as bad as the Markles.