Caitlyn Jenner has not been in the news very much of late.
But in a new and very revealing interview, the former reality star explains that she once considered never being in the news ever again.
That is, she once considered taking her own life.
Speaking to Channel 4 News this week, the ex-Keeping Up with the Kardashians star opened up like never before about something as personal as it gets.
“One time in my life, I actually thought about it [suicide],” she confessed.
The 68-year-old said she wanted to discuss her struggle in the hopes of raising awareness about the high suicide rates among transgender people.
And then went on to detail exactly when and why this awful thought crossed her mind.
“I’ll never forget it. It was about six months before I came out, and I had a picture.”
A picture? Huh?
The picture was snapped by TMZ and it depicted Jenner walking out of a building in Beverly Hills.
Having just had her tracheal shaved, there was a small bandage on her throat.
Jenner explained how that evening, she received a call from the publication claiming that they had the picture and basically stating/asking:
“So, this is the beginning of transition…?”
Addressing the website’s owner, Harvey Levin, Jenner replied in anger at the time, pleading with the celebrity gossip guru:
“Don’t even talk about this. It’s none of your business and please, when you do stuff like that, it affects people’s lives.”
The photo did end up getting published and going viral.
Aware that would be the case, Caitlyn says she lay in bed and contemplated the worst.
“That night, I knew that that picture was coming out,” she says in this new interview, adding:
“I remember I couldn’t sleep. And I’m walking up and down the halls in my house, all by myself. And I’m thinking to myself, ‘You know what? I’ve got a gun in the other room. I could go in, use it, no more pain, move on.”
We simply cannot imagine.
“It seemed like the easy way out,” she says now, upon reflection.
These days, Jenner seemed to be in a great place.
She’s remaining a bit out of the spotlight and may even marry rumored girlfriend Sophia Hutchins.
Has she thought about suicide since this date?
“The next day I get up and I went for a walk and I’m walking through this field all by my little lonesome out in the woods,” she tells Channel 4 about her mindset back then and how it changed.
“And I’m walking through this field and I’m thinking to myself, ‘Wasn’t that like the stupidest thing you could possible do? And that is silence your voice. Why don’t you look at this thing a little bit differently? What don’t you open up your voice? Why don’t you tell your story?
“That was kind of my low-point in life. And from then on, I never thought about it again.”
Speaking to this British outlet, Jenner went on to say that 48 percent of trans people in the United Kingtom have attempted suicide, which is just amazing and depressing to think about.
We admire Jenner for doing whatever she can to be an inspirational voice to those in this situation.